She smiled up at him taking her time to remember this moment. She was finally getting everything she had wanted for so long. "My heart has always belonged to you, but the trouble is that you've never kept it very safe. Maybe that's something you can work on 'cause I can't see it giving up on you anytime soon." And with that she kissed him right there in the middle of the elevator.

"So what now?" She asked him once they broke from their embrace.

"What do you mean?"

"Well there's so much that needs to be said, so much to work out. This is good. This is what I've hoped and dreamed about for months, but now we're here, now that it's happened I don't know what to do."

"If I had my way I'd take you home right now and never let you go ever again. But I know that we need to sort this out properly first. Even though we haven't been together, so much has happened between us, so much has changed. I think you've seen a lot of my worst side recently and I know that my behaviour has hurt you. As much as we would like to we can't just jump right back in where we were before it wouldn't be the same."

"So where is this going Der? Are we getting back together? Are we back together? I'm a bit lost." She asked with uncertainty. While everything that had happened since she returned to the hospital suggested that they were heading in that direction she wasn't quite sure where they were in the process. And he was right, so much had changed between them. She used to trust him effortlessly, now there was a little bit of doubt that edged the words he said, like a crust they were that little bit harder to digest and to believe. He was saying everything she wanted to hear – him and Addison were over for good this time, it wasn't her fault, he loved her – it all felt perfect, but was it true. It shocked her how much her subconscious view of him had altered in their time apart. She was only now realising how heavily handicapped a new relationship between the two of them would be. There was so much ground they would have to make up just to get back to where they had started.

Derek considered her question, "I'd very much like to be back together, but you're in control here, what we are is really up to you Mer. What do you want?"

She knew that now she had him back she couldn't let him disappear again. But was she ready to invite him back to hers and jump back in as if nothing had happened between them. Her friends would never let her live it down if she arrived home with him and acted like nothing had ever happened, but it wasn't their life so what they thought didn't really matter at the end of the day if it was what she wanted and would make her happy; But was it? If she couldn't completely trust him right now could she imagine a time when she would be able to again? He needed to prove some things to her. He wasn't just being forgiven for everything he'd put her through, he needed to know that. "Okay." She quietly said out-loud as she tried to think of a way to express all that she was feeling without it all rushing out in an un-intelligible ramble. "I want us to be together again." She started of slow and a little hesitant, but watching the grin appear and slowly grow on his face spurred her onwards. "But I don't think we are there yet." His smile faltered. "We're on our way to being together. And I'd like it to just be us from now on, no being with anyone else." His face was growing more and more confused as she went on. 'Maybe I'm not explaining this very well' she thought. She sighed, "How can I say this in a way that it makes sense." She paused, "Everything we had, it got ruined. And a fair amount of that was your fault. I'm not saying it all was, because some of it was definitely me. But while I'm still in love with you Derek, the you I know in my head now is so different from the Derek I loved back then. And I can't say I like the Derek I've seen recently all that much. You're still you, I know that. But you hurt me so much and coming back and saying all these amazing things that I want to hear doesn't automatically make it all okay. I know that it is all in the past but it's not been laid to rest yet. It doesn't work like that, as much as we may want it to, I've got to reconcile these two Dereks. You got to help me see that all those things I loved about you are still there and they are what I would be living with day in day out. You forced so much doubt in my mind about everything we were and who you were that I need to work through it and learn to trust you again, trust that you are the person I hope you are. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"I think so. I know I've got a lot to make up for and there are amends to be made. I didn't expect everything to revert straight back to the old normal. Although I can't say I don't really wish it would. The bit I'm still unsure over is what we are at the moment?"

"I guess for now we are…dating. I've never really dated before but this seems like the right time for starting."

Starting to smile again Derek said, "Okay. Dating. I can do dating. This is a good thing. We need to start again and get to know each other again, so dating is perfect. I think you'll like dating Mer. It's very normal, which is something we have never been but is a good direction to start anew. So what does this dating entail? Like what are its limits?"

"I don't know. I've just told you I've never dated before, how am I supposed to know what you do when you're dating."

"Right, well how about this? We take it slow, with real dates with activities and outings and lots of talking. We've always been rubbish at communication so maybe we should try and work on that to start with. No sex." When she raised an eyebrow at this he chuckled and continued, "I can't believe that as soon as I get you back and all I want to do is ravish you the first thing I do is impose an embargo on sex, I think I need a neuro consult" he said more to himself than to her but it made her smile along with him anyway. "But seriously, we tend to bury our problems with great sex; I think that until we've worked them out we can't do it."

"At this rate we may never have sex again." She genially suggested implying that their problems were never ending.

"Fine how about no sex until it feels right again, until it feels like we're back on an even keel?"

"Okay I think I can live with that. So is that it?"

"Yeah. If there are other things we need to work out we can do that another time."

"So what happens now?"

"Well it's pretty late, so I guess we should go on home. I'll drive you. I expect you want to go and check on Izzie anyway. We can talk more extensively tomorrow."

"Oh Crap Iz! I'd completely forgotten about Izzie!" she exclaimed, "I'm such a rubbish friend. I got so self-involved with our stuff it flew out of my mind. Damn. Can we go? I've got to go and see what's going on. I'm sure I've already been missed and I don't want anyone to worry about me when they should be focusing on her." Already turning and making her way to exit the hospital.

Derek quickly followed her progress. This felt good, it felt normal. There was nothing she had said that he didn't agree with. It was hard for him to see the realities of how his actions had affected their relationship, but it was great that she was even giving him a chance to recover what they'd lost. He felt hopeful and more content than he had done since Addie had turned up in Seattle.

They headed down stairs, got into his car and set a course for her house. They were quiet during the drive, it was a comfortable quiet. Neither really knew what to say. It seemed the wrong time for chit-chat or gossip, and both of them avoided the Izzie situation – they'd be living it soon enough, they didn't need to hasten that hell by speculating before then knew what was going on in her home. When he pulled into her driveway and shut off the car, he turned in his seat to look at her. He still had trouble believing that they were both here, that this was really happening. A small smile graced his face and he leaned over and kissed her gently on her pert little lips, not going any further, it was enough for him for now that he was even allowed this pleasure.

Meredith voiced her internal wonderings, "So you said earlier that we'd talk tomorrow. Do you have the day off?"

"Yeah I do. I was planning on going in but only because I had nowhere else to go. Now I'd rather spend my day with you, if I can that is?" He turned his statement into a sheepish question realising she hadn't actually proposed anything yet.

"I have the day off too. But I don't really know how free I'll be until I go inside I guess. Maybe you could come by sometime after lunch and if I have time we can talk. Is that okay?"

"That sounds perfect. No pressure. I'll see you then. Good night Meredith." He leaned over and gave her one more light kiss. "This morning I never would have pictured that I would be ending my day like this. It's amazing. I'm exclusively dating Meredith Grey. I can't believe it's real." He sounded awestruck.

"Good night Derek." Meredith whispered as she got out of the car quietly content with her life for the first time in what felt like ages.

"Tell Izzie I'm sorry. It's terrible to lose someone you love." He knew from experience how hard it was.

"I will. Bye." With that she walked away and into her house. She was exhausted; it had been such a long day. So much had happened and it wasn't over yet.

AN: Hey guys! Wow. I got 594 views for the first chapter! It's a little scary and breathtaking looking at the story stats, so many people from so many different countries that I could never have dreamed of reaching have read this story. I do hope you enjoyed the start of this fic, the eleven people who reviewed it seemed to.

Ozmerder4eva was the only person to answer my query about the title, so they're gonna get their way and I'll be keeping this title. I like it more now; it's definitely grown on me.

When I said before that I had loads of this fic written up already I wasn't lying, however in what I have there is this large season length gap after the first chapter. So I am sorry for the delay but I was stuck with the start and I knew where I want to go eventually with this but I just couldn't work out how to get there.

Please tell me what you're thinking, apparently you didn't think it was entirely rubbish. I'm very flexible so if there's anything you'd like to see happen, come suggest it. I'm still in the early stages of learning about who I am as a writer, praise is lovely but criticism is instructive, so don't be shy to tell me what you really think.