A/N: Loving the diversity of responses to the last chapter. Some people are mad at Alex, some at April, and some (okay most) at Izzie. That is just the angle I want to explore with this so I am happy to see that it is having this kind of impact. Situations like this are exceptionally ambiguous, and people just respond emotionally because there is no clear map for how 'rightly' handle this. So, what do you think about this chapter? Keep the opinions coming!

Amber lowered her salad fork and gaped across the table at her older brother, "Dude! You can't be serious."

"As a heart attack," Alex sniffed and nodded.

"You have another kid?"

"I do."

She was obviously stunned about everything, with Kyle and Izzie and the car accident and all, and he felt bad that she was only just finding out all the details now. The past week had kind of been crazy for all of them. For Amber because she was rapidly approaching finals. Adam because he was in the midst of cutting a new tooth. And then Alex had been busy dealing with the whole mess that life was these days. He felt bad because April was kind of just along for the ride.

He could tell how uncomfortable she'd been in the week, and Alex was a little worried, but frankly he hadn't had the time or energy left to deal with it. Not with everything so tight at work, and extra time spent with Kyle as he started basic physical therapy. Izzie allowed him to go to the sessions alone with Kyle, and he thought it was going a long way to helping Kyle understand who Alex was, and what "Daddy's" did.

They hadn't told him much, and the two year old didn't seem unhappy to suddenly have some new dude hanging out who said he was Daddy. Kid was confused but that was understandable. Alex could tell Iz didn't really want to tell the boy the truth, but she'd given him the opportunity and so of course he took it. But going to physical therapy was a big commitment. And, since Bobby was currently only strengthening the leg and trunk muscles in advance of the removal of Kyle's casts, the commitment would probably only grow.

April seemed to be doing well enough. She was quiet, but she always saved him a plate of dinner, and curled up close to him at night, if nothing else. Yesterday, she'd even suggested he take Adam along, so the he and Kyle could get used to each other, and so Alex could spend much needed time with his baby. That had gone pretty well too. Kyle seemed much more excited about having his very own 'brubah' than he did about having a father actually. Probably the drugs.

But Alex knew that this was all pretty hard on his fiancee. The only solace he could find in the situation was that, despite the mess, things between them still felt better than they had before their big fight in the spring. Alex wasn't shutting April out and hiding his feelings. The counselling had helped. They were holding it together. Alex just figured it was a good thing that he and April had a session with Dr. Wyatt scheduled in two days.

So, with all of that crap, his sister had ended up horribly out of the loop, and April had suggested that they go out to lunch that weekend as a family, and explain to her exactly how she had another nephew.

Alex watched a variety of expressions cross Amber's face as he sat across from her at the Olive Garden table. Beside him, April crunched away on the salad, alternately texting like a mad woman or making faces at Adam, and allowing Alex to field things with his sister. The young woman blinked, and shook her head.

"No way."

Alex shrugged, "Way."

"This just like Jerry Springer!" Amber exclaimed, taking a huge bite of her bread stick.

He scowled, "It's not like Jerry Springer."

Chewing and swallowing, she shook her head, "Oh, it so is."

"It's not."

Amber looked pensive before she nodded in agreement, "No, you're right. This is more like Maury."

April rolled her eyes, and Alex fumed, "My life is nothing like a freaking tv show, Amber!"

Alex didn't like the way she made his life seem so...cut and dried. Seedy. He hated seeing his new family compared to that crap. Low class and ignorant and everything he could have become if he hadn't gotten his wrestling scholarship and gotten the hell out of their neighborhood in Davenport. Everything Amber might have become if she'd never gone to St. Xavier's or UW.

"Oh, this has got Maury written all over it," Amber retorted before throwing her voice into a deep tone and impersonating the talk show host. "On today's episode we have two little boys, one surgeon Dad. I mean, dude, you've got baby mama drama."

April chocked on her drink and flushed, ducking her head.

"Amber this is a really big deal-" Alex began heatedly. He got that she was still processing, but the jokes were making everyone at the table feel tense.

"Oh, I know it is," his sister snapped, getting worked up and barely drawing in a breath before she continued. "I just don't get how the bitch didn't tell you anything? I mean, first she freaking left you, and then what? She decides you're not worth being married to, but oh yeah, okay, your sperm's good enough, so whatever, she decides to have your kid. Who does that? Bitch!"

Alex pinched the bridge of his nose. The way his sister was saying stuff. It wasn't like any of it wasn't true exactly. But it still kind of hurt to think that his life really had descended to the level of bad tv fodder. But from a certain level, that is exactly what it was. Izzie had dumped him, and used him.

"Language, Amber!" April finally spoke up, gesturing to Adam's high chair. "Please."

The girl winced apologetically but argued, "He's not even saying Dada yet, all he does now is sound like a bro, "Duuuude". I doubt 'bitch' will be his next big breakthrough. Besides, it's the right word for her, April. "

April shook her head and enthusiastically speared another bite of salad, "Well, like it or not, Izzie Stevens is your other nephew's mother, so you probably shouldn't get used to talking about her that way."

Alex thought the sentiment was logical enough, but he was disconcerted by the flat tone of April's voice. Like she was reciting something from a script or chart. April didn't usually talk like that. Normally the force behind her words was sincere and genuine.

The empty tone bothered him. That voice was not the April that Alex loved. He'd have rather have April calling Iz a bitch, or cussing him out, or crying or whatever it was she probably really wanted to do, over this stilted crap.

Scratching the back of her head, Amber scowled, "I guess."

The waitress came with the food then, and for a few moments the conversation stalled as the three adults dug into their pasta. Alex sighed and watched April out of the corner of his eye. She was texting again, and he had to wonder who it was she was conversing with.

Probably Avery. Maybe Mer. Or one of the sisters. Or all of the above. Alex was just glad she was talking to someone. It made him feel guilty when he thought about it because, while he was talking to her as much as he could about all his feelings and crap about all of this, April had actually said very little to him about her own response.

After eating silently for a few moments, Amber took a big bite of spaghetti and turned on her brother, "And you really should have read your divorce papers more carefully, Alex. This all could have been avoided if you had just fought her on the whole embryo custody thing."

"Well, I didn't actually think she'd go ahead and use them," Alex grumbled into his plate. "At the time I wasn't exactly in a good place."

Adam eyed the plates of food hungrily and squealed, opening his mouth wide when his mother offered him a spoon of baby food. The taste didn't quite meet his satisfaction though, because as soon as it hit his tongue, he scowled and spit it out, flailing out towards April's plate and looking at the table longingly. He'd been starting to show more than a little interest in solid foods, and they'd been gradually introducing him to stuff at home.

Evidently Adam didn't like that pace. He was over the Gerber jars.

"You don't want your food-food? Why not? It's so tasty-wasty," she cooed, in that high pitched baby talk way that usually got on Alex's nerves.

Adam wasn't buying it. He fussed and moved his head trying to dodge the spoon.

Right now, Alex was just happy to hear some animation in his girlfriend's voice. Lately it was only directed to Adam. Watching the scene still made Alex happy, despite everything going on. He realized that he had so much more now than he'd had four years ago when Izzie divorced him. He had everything he wanted now, and he'd had no way of seeing that coming at the time.

2010 had really been a crap year all around. Cancer crap, O'Malley dying, the merger, Izzie leaving and coming back, and leaving again. Divorce papers in the freaking mail. Alex's 2010 was rock bottom. And then he'd gotten shot.

Alex sighed and turned back to his sister, "I really didn't think Izzie would do it."

"It's like a smoking gun though," Amber snarked, using her fingers to air quote. "I mean, why would she care about 'embryo custody' at all if she didn't want to use them? Why not just have them destroyed?"

That thought, even now, years after the divorce just felt wrong to Alex somehow. Especially since Kyle was already here. Now, he wasn't some freakin' pro-lifer, or any crap like that. He believed that people should do what they wanted. Chicks should have control of their own bodies and all that. But for this it was different. Freakin' embryos. They weren't going into anyone's body without a lot of work. And Alex knew that at the time they divorced, the one thing they'd probably have agreed upon was not destroying the specimens.

Because Izzie and Alex had held on to some small hope that they still might be able to patch it up again in the future.

"Neither of us wanted to do that. I mean, at the time I thought that maybe we'd still-" Alex spoke without thinking before he cut himself off.

Too late though. His unspoken admission had not been missed. By either April or Amber. His fiancee, sniffed and nervously pulled a lock of hair behind her ear, as she concentrated far too much on the plate in front of her. He felt bad. It wasn't like now he'd ever want to get back on the Izzie train or whatever. Been there, done that. Didn't even get the lousy t-shirt. April might be a little crazy sometimes, but she wasn't like Iz. Alex knew that she was probably the person he was meant to stick with all along. Amber raised her eyebrows.

"Well, it's still incredibly stupid," she remarked. "And it totally bit you in the ass-"

"Seriously?" April set her jaw and gestured to Adam.

"Not gonna be his next catch phrase..."

"Maybe not, but I'd still appreciate it if you were more careful about how you speak in front of him. He might not be parroting things yet, but he is learning a lot about language when he hears us speak around him."

"Fine, but-" Amber argued. "Again, it's the right use of the word. Seems like Alex didn't get squat in that settlement. And on top of that he gets a surprise kid."

"Whatever, so I didn't get a good deal in the divorce," Alex rationalized quickly, trying to diffuse the disagreement. "I don't give a damn. No need to dwell on in now."

"You are getting a lawyer, right?" Amber asked seriously. "For this? She's screwed you once before over this kid, you know she'll do it again."

"Uh," Alex replied. "I don't know. I mean, since I signed over the embryos in the first place I don't think I have a leg to stand on anyway..."

April shook her head, "Actually, there's really not that much judicial precedent in family law regarding frozen embryos. It's too new, and even when custody is awarded, not many of the specimens end up becoming real live children. If you did get a lawyer and this went to court, I think Kyle's case might be one of the first like this in the state."

Alex and Amber both turned to face April with slack jaws. Adam grunted loudly and opened his mouth, evidently deciding that he was hungry enough that baby food was better than no food at all.

As April offered him another spoon, and as the brother and sister at the table continued to stare, she shrugged, "What? I did a little research..."

Alex couldn't help but beam a little. He didn't know why he was actually surprised that she had researched stuff, or why it made him so immensely happy. But it totally freaking did. Maybe because it made him feel like April actually had his back. That she might not be happy about all this crap, but at least she cared. It just felt good.

But the whole topic of lawyers made him nervous. The last thing Alex wanted to was piss his ex-wife off. She was already spooked enough with all the car crash and having to come clean about Kyle stuff, and Alex just knew that it would only make things worse. Iz had the keys to Kyle in every sense. He got that Amber and April might be worried about Iz trying to take Kyle away from him or whatever, but he was sure that he Izzie better than they did, right? Legal crap would only scare her off.

"Look," Alex said neutrally. "This isn't the time to worry about legal crap. Kyle needs to get better. And he needs to get to know us. I'm just taking it step by step."

"Get to know us?" Amber asked, glancing around the table incredulously. April's expression was closed off.

"Yeah. Kyle is your nephew as much as Adam is."

Amber pursed her lips and shook her head, "It's not the same."

"That's not his fault," Alex growled, not happy with the reluctance in his sister's voice. He just didn't get her reaction to all of this. Kyle was as innocent in this as you could possibly be.

"I know it's not," she replied quietly. "And I know it makes me an unfeeling tool, but I...I don't know. You just...you offered me free food and then dump all this crap on me. I don't know how I feel about him yet. I'm not ready to meet him or anything..."

"April's met him," Alex added in the hopes of making his sister seem a little more open to the whole idea.

Though his last statement wasn't entirely true, he realized. April glared at him. She had 'met' Adam only in so much as she had saved his life on the operating table. And then visited his room a few times when he was asleep. And even then, Alex realized that he had never seen her go beyond the doorway.

"I don't think that Alex is saying you have to meet him right now," April cut in wearily. "He just wants you to know what's happened and to understand that it's not going to go away anytime soon."

Alex frowned. A meeting actually was exactly what he had had in mind. He wanted Kyle to start knowing that there was more to his family than just Robbie and Izzie Stevens. That he had a Dad who loved him, and a baby brother, and an Aunt and an...well, an April. He sighed. Alex supposed that from her perspective, this was trickier than he realized.

Step-mother's didn't always have the best reputation, but he thought that his fiancee was one of the kindest people she knew. How could she not love his other child? Even if it took time. But maybe she was right. He probably shouldn't pus his sister until she was ready.

"Fine, whatever," his sister sighed.

After a beat, she ventured, glancing anxiously between April and Alex and sounding younger than she had in years, "So...um, where does all this put things between you guys? With the wedding and everything?"

Alex caught April's eye. The wedding had not been a topic broached since Kyle's unexpected reveal. Through their therapy with Dr. Wyatt, they'd actually gotten to the point where talk of the wedding was more realistic. They'd started thinking that maybe they could pull off a nice summer wedding. Nothing too fancy. Just a nice, maybe outdoor type of thing. April had even started talking with her family about dates. But now? They hadn't talked about it, but Alex saw no reason why things should change.

Alex realized that April was looking at him expectantly, and he swallowed. Guess she wanted him to take the lead.

"Uh," Alex began awkwardly. "Like I said, one thing at a time."

He winced as he heard the sound of April's fork hitting the edge of her plate reached his ears. He was screwing this up. Damn it.

"But!" Alex held up a hand. "When it comes to me and April, this doesn't change anything."

Amber chuckled a little and tilted her head to one side, as though she was calling his bluff on the whole thing. But he wasn't bluffing. He might have no idea what to do with this mess, but one thing was sure. April was going to be his wife. He was going to give her the wedding she dreamed of. Slipping his hand tentatively through April's, Alex ran his thumb soothingly along her palm.

"Okay, so it does change some things," he admitted. "Just not the important stuff."

He meant it.

That was probably what both the ladies needed to freaking hear, because the rest of the lunch was much more ordinary. April had squeezed his hand and the subject of Kyle dropped. They talked about Adam's latest milestones, cool surgeries and how Amber was doing in school. When they were finally finished, Alex slapped their cash on the table and followed Amber, April, and Adam into the parking lot.

"You sure you don't want a ride back to campus?" Alex asked, rubbing his cold hands together and wondering where the hell he left his gloves. It was freaking cold.

"Nah," Amber shook her head, pulling her hat down over hear ears. "I can take the bus. I am meeting Quincy and Sean at Westlake to shop. Thanks anyway, though."

She leaned forward, bending to where Adam sat in April's arms. Amber tickled him and kissed his nose, "You will always be my favorite nephew, buddy."

"Don't say that!" Alex hissed, ready to chastise his sister.

"Leave it," April whispered.

They both watched as the young woman dashed toward the bus stop with a small wave, "Catch you later! I promise to grab my laundry from your place sometime this weekend okay?"

Once they were all in the car, Alex shook his head, "That kid...too much of a smart ass for her own good. I can't believe she'd be so weird about all of this."

April leaned her head on the window and rubbed her forehead, "It is weird."

"Well, yeah but that's no reason to act like Kyle is some sort of...I don't know, outlaw or freak or something. He just a kid. And he is a blood Karev, so why does she-"

"Some of us can't just jump into this so quickly, Alex!" his fiancee snapped. Her tone made Adam cry and she reached back to comfort him before she continued in a quieter voice. "We can't just flip a switch and be okay with all of this. Maybe you can, but I...er, I mean, but Amber...she...might need a little time to flip that switch."

He jumped the outburst, knowing that it was as much about her own feelings as Amber's. He winced, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," April mumbled, crossing her arms.

In general, Alex liked to stay away from as much emotional crap as he could. He didn't know how to deal with it most of the time, and for the vast majority of people in the world, he didn't care anyway. People could deal with their own crap and leave Alex out of it. Only, April's emotions were ones he cared about. Deeply.

And Dr. Wyatt had told him to try to be more vulnerable and whatever. To try to communicate when he just wanted to shut down. Alex pursed his lips and tapped the steering wheel, watching April carefully out of the corner of his eye.

"I, uh...it's cool that you looked up stuff," he ventured pulling the car into gear and backing out of the parking lot. "About lawyers and whatever...I really, um, appreciate that."

"We..." she shrugged and swallowed. "You should probably think about getting one, at least. Just to be safe."

"Yeah..." Alex said absently, watching with the hint of a smile as Adam dozed off in the back seat, his head falling to one side and his chubby cheek sagging little. Right now, he wasn't worried about lawyering up.

He'd hoped that by offering an opening of sorts, April would latch on and spill everything going on behind those eyes of hers. When she stayed quiet as they zoomed along the I-5, he sighed. No such luck.

Alex realized he'd have to bite the bullet and be more direct, "April, work with me here. I feel like I don't know what's going on with you. What are you, uh...can you please tell me what you are feeling?"

Picking at the nail of one finger, April looked distraught, "I don't know, Alex! I just don't know. Lexie...I've been talking with her and...Lexie says it takes time to process, when something like this happens. It did for her. I-I think I'm processing."

Alex frowned slightly, glad to hear that April was as confused about all of this as he suspected, but guilty that it was kind of his fault that she felt the way she did. This was all crap. He supposed it was good that April was talking to Lex. Little Grey was the only other person he could think of who might know how April felt.

Or, in lieu of having clear feelings, Lexie could understand how April was processing. Processing. Strange. Alex felt a little envious. He didn't have time to process crap. He'd just had to jump in, get on board, and get to know Kyle. But both fiancee and ex-wife were 'processing'.

Izzie had said almost the same thing to him on the day Kyle woke up. What was it with chicks and needing to process? And how long would it take?

"Okay," Alex replied softly, reaching one hand across to hold April's. "That's okay. It's not easy."

"No," April swallowed. "Alex?"

"What?"

"Did you...did you mean what you said at the table? About us, and the wedding and everything?"

"Hell yes! No matter what happens, April, this doesn't change the important stuff about our family. I promise."

Alex wasn't sure she looked like she believed him, but he was determined through all of this to make his words true.

Dr. Wyatt was not an easy woman to surprise. Today, April thought they'd finally succeeded. Not that the woman was easy to read. Her poker face was immaculate. However, her pen hand was not. It froze, the quick scribble coming to a grinding halt. Alex had just explained the whole thing to the therapist as soon as the session started, and Wyatt still seemed to be taking it all in. Bit of a departure from the planned trust exercises.

"Well," she said finally, recrossing her leg and leaning back. "This certainly is a lot to take in. How are you both coping?"

"Fine," April replied quickly.

Alex shrugged, "Whatever."

It was almost laughable, April realized. Their default answers. So obviously very far from the truth.

Sighing heavily, Wyatt shook her head, "Let's try that again. I can't help you if you are not honest with me."

April stared at her hands guiltily. She concentrated on the pattern of the couch beneath her legs, and the soft bubbling of the aquarium to her right. Talking about this was supposed to help, she knew. Dr. Wyatt was a professional after all. But April still felt inexplicably embarrassed over people finding out the truth about everything. Even though she'd played no real part in it at all besides doing her job. She hadn't even told her parents or sisters about Kyle yet.

Before, April had been disappointed that she an Alex had made the decision to spend Adam's first Thanksgiving in Seattle, saving up time off and cash for a big Christmas visit. Now she was kind of glad that she could put off facing the stares, and the pity and the judgement. This was going to change what people back home thought of her. April knew it wasn't supposed to matter. She knew she wasn't supposed to care about what other people thought. But she did.

And she knew that Cook was already making judgements about her. They always had. First for being too whiny. Too whimpy. Too quiet. Too much of a cry baby. Too much of a book worm. Too ambitious. Not loyal enough to the town to stay there. Too weird for someone to love. Too naive to recognize and avoid a damaged guy when she saw one. And too distasteful not to get knocked up before the wedding.

Now to find out that Alex had an ex-wife and a secret kid? Cook probably hadn't had that good of a gossip topic since Sally Peters found out that Tommy Peter's had cheated on her and she'd followed him with a shot gun right into the barbershop and tried to...well. Good thing the aim was off, and it had resulted in nothing more than a broken mirror, a framed bullet hole on Mr. Henner's wall, and a shattered marriage. But it was big news at the time. And that was in 1975. April wasn't even alive at the time, but she knew the story. People were still talking about it.

April knew the way that people in town still looked at Sally Peters too. Even now. Like she was some crazed person who shot barbershop mirrors. They'd all known about the cheating too. She'd always thought it was one of those ridiculous small town stories, but now thought she could finally understand some of what the poor woman must have been feeling that day. Not that Alex had cheated. He hadn't. And April didn't want to shoot anyone.

She just didn't want her home town to look at her differently. April thought she understood Sally now, on a gut level.

Actually, she knew Wyatt would say that this was all probably just projecting, but April didn't care. It was jarring, and absolutely gut wrenching to have your life suddenly changed. Especially when the change had nothing to do with you. Completely out of your hands. That's where April thought the embarrassment came in.

Lexie said it best on the phone, during that first call, "You feel like you've been hoodwinked."

Exactly.

April was immensely glad that her friend had reached out to her, and she was irrationally grateful that the younger Grey would be arriving in Seattle soon to spend Thanksgiving with her family. She seemed to be the only person who April could really talk to about all of this. She'd texted her more in the past 9 days than they probably had in the previous three months. And called more too.

Mark had even made a small joke in the attendings lounge, "You hear from my girlfriend more than I do."

April hated to feel so needy. Lexie assured her that it was okay, and completely normal. But it wasn't something April was proud of.

"Uh, well..." Alex opened up first, lifting his eyes to Dr. Wyatt's. "I think we are just doing the best we can. I know I am. It's a lot. For me, a lot of it has been trying to get, you know, like a bond with my son and get him used to my family being in his life or whatever..."

April swallowed. There was nothing wrong with that. There really wasn't. She knew that she shouldn't begrudge him that. Even if he had left her with a sobbing teething infant earlier in the week. Alex really wanted to get to know Kyle, and she thought it was a wonderful thing, but there was a part of her that still unhappy that the situation was necessary.

Wyatt nodded at Alex's words, pausing to scribble something in her notes, "And that is very important to you?"

"Yeah? He's my son," he replied in irritation. "I'm not going to be one of those dead beat Dad's who just...forgets about his kids."

"You don't want to be like your father," Wyatt stated calmly.

"No."

"So you've been spending time at here, at the hospital with Kyle?"

Alex shrugged, "Yeah, getting to know him and whatever. Iz has kind of been letting me hangout with him during his therapy sessions. And after this, she is letting me spend the afternoon with him. Her mother is getting discharged so she's gotta take her home."

April bit her lip and tried not to react too much to Alex talking about Izzie. And seeing Izzie. Jumping when she said jump. Her eyes darted around the room. She knew she was being bitter. It was ugly and it made her feel disgusted with herself. She didn't want to be this person. She didn't want to be consumed with envy and resentment. It just kept creeping up on her.

Blinking again, April realized she was being spoken to. She'd tuned out a lot of the room around her for a significant amount of time, based on Alex's and the therapist's expressions. Shifting, she twisted her hands in her lap, "I'm sorry, what?"

"I asked how you are handling all of this, April?"

Knowing that the furious bounce of her good leg would give her away, April futility mumbled, "Fine."

She could feel Alex's gaze to her left, boring into her like he had radar for what she was trying to hide. That made April feel just that much worse. He'd been so good about this. He'd been honest and open with her. No secrets. No omissions. No avoiding emotionally difficult topics. He'd even actively been trying to talk to her about all of this. Not his usual assortment of grumbles and whatevers. Alex wanted to really talk. Mere months ago, April would have been overjoyed at his growth. She was immensely proud, but for her at least, this might be the one time emotionally obtuse Alex would have been preferable.

Because April still found it all hard to deal with, much less talk about with the person who made all of this a part of her life.

"Fine?" Dr. Wyatt, tilted her head from side to side, weighing the word. "So, it doesn't bother you that Alex has been spending more time at the hospital? I'd imagine that means he is home a lot less."

"I'm doing the best I freaking-"

Wyatt shook her head, cutting Alex off with nothing more than a purposefully lifted finger, before she continued, "I'd imagine he's inadvertently spending a lot more time with his ex-wife as a result. And I think that would leave you alone a lot taking care of the baby, right?"

April shrugged picking at the edge of one fingernail. Hearing it all listed out like that made her chest feel tight.

"And you are fine with that?"

When April didn't reply Alex shifted in his seat making the couch creak. She crossed her arms and stared at her hands uncertain as to how to reply. She knew that she very much wasn't fine with any of this. But she also thought that knowing that would hurt Alex. He had enough to deal with, and this situation was obviously a lot for him to deal with. She didn't want to add to his long list of worries.

"No," April admitted in a small voice. "But I wish I was. I want to be fine."

"I am glad that you can admit you're not," Wyatt stated evenly. "And that you feel that being fine is a place you want to be. I have some thoughts on that, but first I want to push you a little further. If you're not fine, then where are you?"

"Processing," Alex muttered, nudging April's shoulder, in an unexpectedly kind way.

"What's that?" the therapist asked.

"She's processing," he repeated turning to April and smirking. "Like a freaking old school computer. We'll just give her time for her emotions to buffer and it'll all be fine."

The joke was pretty bad, and it only got worse, but April couldn't help but laugh at her boyfriend.

Alex held up his right hand and waggled this fingers suggestively, "If not, I'll just press the old control+alt+delete, and we'll be back in business."

April giggled, "Right."

Dr. Wyatt watched the exchange with a wrinkled nose, "I am sure you would know all the right buttons to press Alex, but getting back on track...What kinds of emotions are you feeling, during this whole processing...process, if you will?"

Alex snorted at the pun, "Good one Wyatt."

"I try," the therapist said absently, never taking her eyes off of the woman in front of her.

Opening her mouth, April paused and her eyes darted to Alex. He looked at her earnestly with his sparkling gaze.

"It's okay," he mouthed. "Whatever you are feeling. Just say it."

That, combined with the joke, seemed to put April at east and the words came out of her mouth reluctantly, "Sometimes...I feel...jealous."

"Of who?" Wyatt probed. "Does Kyle's bedside time with his father remind you of your own recovery? Alex was at your beside then? Or is it the ex? Do you feel a little territorial?"

April fidgeted uncomfortably. She hadn't really thought of the Kyle angle before, and she knew that Wyatt had a point, but the problem really was his mother, "It's Izzie. Alex talks to her a lot now and..."

"You don't like that because you think that maybe you're afraid they might rediscover their old connection?"

Alex shook his head vigorously, "That is not going to happen. I swear."

"It's not that I am afraid you're going to do anything," April clarified suddenly more sure of some of her feelings. "I'm...I am afraid. "

"What are your fears then?" Dr. Wyatt pressed.

"I-" April stammered. "It's just...she...Izzie...Alex, she had you first, and there's just...I know you love so so deeply. When you let someone into your life you have this amazingly deep capacity to love and I-I adore that about you...but-"

She didn't mean to cry. She didn't want to cry. But April felt tears prick her eyes none the less.

"And you can't l-love that much and th-then just turn it off, no matter what the other person did to you. Even your Dad. Certainly Izzie. And...it's just too similar that we have a baby and she has a baby...if she'd never have left...I guess I can't help but think what if things had been different? You would have had almost exactly the same life with her that you have w-with me and I just- I always thought it would just be us, and I'm afraid you'll like her version better."

Alex's brow furrowed and his hung his head, "Our life is different, April. I love you, and I am with you, and I only wanna be with you. Nothing else freakin' matters, alright. It's all coulda, woulda, shoulda. It didn't happen. I'm only interested in dealing with what did happen. The rest is just crap."

Tentatively he reached out and wrapped an arm around April's shoulder, pulling her close and letting her rest her head on his shoulder. Dr. Wyatt quietly observed, writing a few more notes on her legal pad. April reveled in the comfort of Alex's embrace, and his words really had made her feel lighter. In fact, sharing some of what she felt made things seem better somehow. She still didn't know what the hell she was doing, but that didn't matter as much because Alex was okay with her feelings.

After a moment, April wiped her eyes and ventured, "Well, now that's off my chest..."

"Yeah...it's good, uh, right Dr. Wyatt?"

"It is. I think we can all take a moment to acknowledge the tremendous progress you two have made over the course of our work together. I am just really impressed with what I am seeing happen here," she gestured with her pen between them. "This was an example of really good communication. First I sensed a little resistance from April, but Alex was sympathetic to that and helped to create a safe space, and I think that these are exactly the kind of tools you'll both need to use to get through this challenge."

Alex straightened his shoulders and puffed out his chest a little, and April lifted her head. It was funny how much he resisted coming to Wyatt in the first place, because now it seemed that she had earned his respect.

"You need to support each other," Wyatt continued. "You've both expressed primary responses and concerns to this situation. Alex, you want to make sure that you're a good parent, and April, you...I think you're jealousy is actually a part of grieving. You are grieving the life you imagined for yourself. You've done it before, it's hard and it's freaking you out. So, Alex is concerned with family building, and April is grieving."

April sighed and nodded gratefully. Other than Lexie, Wyatt's articulation of how she felt was the closest to the real turmoil filled whirlpool that swirled within her chest.

"The way forward, is by supporting each other, and that might take you both a little out of your comfort zone. As we saw today. But I want you to embrace it. I think that if you both keep utilizing the skills you have developed in the course of our work, you will weather this very well. Now, we're almost out of time, so we'll have to wrap it up, but I want to hear about some good communication happening between you two the next time we meet, okay?"

After murmured thank yous, Alex and April left Dr. Wyatt's office hand in hand. April was still a little shaky after her admission, but she couldn't stop thinking about the psychologist's last advice. In order for the two of them to get through this as a couple they needed to help each other out. They had to create a safe place to handle this. And it was going to require operating outside of situations that were comfortable.

When they reached the elevator, Alex smiled sadly and looked at his watch, "I know you have to go grab Adam before you go home, and Iz is leaving at 1 o'clock, so...I should probably go down to recovery to hangout a little bit...I, uh, I won't stay that long though. I'll come back for dinner, I promise."

April squeezed his hand. He seemed nervous. Apologetic when he didn't have to be. He was trying to get through this, and he was trying to do the best he could for everyone involved. And even if it was hard, April realized that she could too. She wanted too. Even when it wasn't comfortable. And what she was about to do wasn't going to be comfortable at all.

Straightening her shoulders, April made a decision and shook her head, "No...I am going to get Adam. But then I am going to bring him to Kyle's room...and...I am going to stay."

Utter shock and no small amount of pride spread across Alex's face, "Really?"

She tentatively grinned back, "Yes. We'll...we'll all hangout...if...if that is okay?"

"Hell yeah it is!" Alex grinned. "I want you to meet Kyle. Really meet him."

Alex flipped through the kids channel's in the peds recovery ward as Kyle fussed around on the bed in agitation, crying for his mother. He'd been recovering well and sleeping less and it seemed like the boy was getting restless.

"Hey, hey," he distracted looking at the tv. "Look here! What do you wanna watch?"

"Want Mommy!" Kyle whined, shoving at the stuff animals and ipad on his bed.

"She'll be back soon, kiddo, but come on, we going with Blue's Clues or...uh, Arthur?"

The child flopped back on his bed and moaned, working his way up to a proper tantrum. Alex shook his head. For a kid who basically had three immobile limbs, Kyle sure could flail and twist up the blankets. Freakin' impressive.

He pressed a the remote firmly, "Blue's Clues it is then."

"Boocoo," Kyle agreed, tiring of squirming and deciding instead to turn to the tablet in front of him and use his good hand to poke at the screen.

It was crazy how used to technology kids were these days. What was the good of it? Back in the day you had to play a sport of be creative or whatever. Nowadays it was angry freaking birds?

Alex sniffed and ran a hand down the back of his head. Then again, maybe the kid's behavior wasn't entirely his own fault. It was a crap deal. He'd been in the hospital for nine days. His mom couldn't be there all the time, and his days were spent with new and unknown people poking and prodding him all day, asking him to flex this muscle or that one. And then this weird dude comes by everyday. And Alex knew today that he wasn't the most calm.

He and April had just finished a therapy session. And where he'd kind of expected things to crash and burn, they'd actually gone really well. Like really well. Because April had decided to join him this afternoon in Kyle's room. Something she'd never expressed interest in before. It was like admitting that she did feel jealous had lifted a barrier or whatever.

Soon enough, the door opened, and Alex smiled as his wife leaned her head through the door, clad in street clothes, carrying a drowsy Adam in her arms. He rose to his feet and beckoned her into the room. She tentatively stepped in, carefully schooling her features. Alex could tell she was nervous, but she was doing a good job around the kids.

"Hi there!" April said, as brightly as she could.

Alex took the lead, "Look Kyle! It's someone new coming to play today. I want you to meet April."

He didn't want to try going into some sort of explanation as to who April was. He figured it was too complex. Poor kid had been asked to take in a lot already. Hurt body. Father. Little brother. To be honest, Alex wasn't even sure that the boy grasped who Alex was. Kyle didn't call him Daddy. He didn't call Alex anything, and only pointed or whined when he needed his father's attention. He probably just associated him with being sick and in the hospital.

Kyle's eyes lifted from his game briefly, staring at April with a serious expression. She smiled kindly at him and ventured to the side of the bed.

The boy pointed to Adam and shouted, "Baby! Baby!"

Grinning, April hoisted her son onto the bed over the safety railings. She kept a careful hand on Adam's back, preventing him from jostling any of Kyle's casts and let the two children size each other up. Alex beamed and had to wipe some dust from his freaking eye. Both his sons were sitting together, and it was awesome. He couldn't resist taking a few pictures on his phone. He didn't know why it got to him so freaking much. Unbidden memories of his younger self with Aaron giggling and chasing each other around a couch sprang to his mind.

Adam was still drowsy, so he just kind of drooled as he tried to suck on his own foot. Kyle grinned and flapped his unbroken arm in the air excitedly. April smiled in the background. Alex pressed his phone. Best picture ever.

Kyle looked at him and pointed to the baby, "Brubah!"

"That's right," Alex beamed. "That's your kid brother Adam."

"And I am Adam's mommy," she said simply, when Kyle turned to look at her seriously again.

His lip pouted and he scowled, leaning to her side of the bed, apparently studying her closely. April glanced nervously over, and Alex shrugged. Kyle was actually pretty outgoing as far as he'd observed in their limited interaction so far. He wasn't an overly talkative kid, but he understood a lot more than he said. And he charmed the nurses with his shy smile, and had even given Bobby the PT guy a hearty high five when they'd gone to the first appointment. Now, he wasn't being unfriendly per se. Just a little weird.

"He is probably just tired. He was pretty cranky when I got her, anyway. Probably misses his mom too..." Alex explained lamely.

The reply seemed to ease April's anxiety a little because she relaxed and nodded, tickling Adam and saying breezily, "That's okay, Kyle. We can still be friends."

"O-kayo.." Kyle's response was chipper enough.

Allowing the boys to play, Alex and April chatted pleasantly across the bed. This was awesome. He finally felt like he was getting a good picture of how things were now. What his family was like. And it wasn't half bad. The rest of the afternoon went on. Soon Alex was leaning back in his chair with his feet up on the edge of the bed, making fun of the kids shows that came on. He did impersonations of characters on the screen, much to Kyle's delight. April pulled her chair close and rolled her eyes at Alex's antics while she occupied Adam with some of Kyle's any stuffed toys. He'd chalk the whole day, from breakfast, to Wyatt, to this time in Kyle's room; all of it was a freaking success.

Suddenly, Kyle reached out and poked at April's face, covering the lower half with his tiny hand, almost like he was trying to shut her up. Alex held back a laugh. Kyle pulled his hand back, and then touched her face again. April sat still and let him continue. He repeated the motion.

"That's my nose," April commented, her voice muffled by a small hand.

Kyle frowned and pulled his hand back, watching April pensively. He pointed to April and then covered the lower half of his own face. It was a strange little encounter, and Alex couldn't begin to explain what was going on, so he tried to play it off.

"That's not how you play peek a boo."

His son ignored Alex, and watched April intently without moving his hand. She shrugged, and lifted her own hand to her face, covering her mouth and nose.

The motion seemed to satisfy Kyle, as he sat up a little straighter. His eyes went wide and he opened his mouth in wide surprise.

"Da-k?" he ventured carefully, forming a word Alex had never heard him use before.

For a moment his heart soared. Alex was excited.

But Kyle continued to repeat the unfamiliar word, and it became clearer and clearere that the little boy was most definitely not trying to say Daddy. Or even referring to Alex at all.

"Daaooock...Docccc...Doc!" Kyle repeated, and April gasped.

"Oh my God," she paled and peered at the child closely. "Do you-could you remember? You couldn't."

Alex shook his head, "He couldn't."

April nodded, "Right."

"Doc!" Kyle smiled.

"I...I did talk to him a little when he was conscious..."

"No freakin' way."

"Right."

But the new phrase was repeated again and Alex couldn't explain why. And if it was anyone else his kid was recognizing, Alex thought he might feel a little pissed. But the potential that Kyle remembered her, or at least had sort of created an identity for her within his little world, seemed to make April open up even more. She smiled fully at him, eyes shining and dimples sinking fully into her wanted her to have this. He wanted them all to be bonded. So whatever, if Kyle was calling April a name before him. It was all good, because it didn't change that Alex was his Dad, or that he spent time with the boy.

It was a good moment. And it was the moment when Alex knew that they could do this. The whole blended family thing.

They could do it.