A/N: Hello again friends. Here is another chapter, and another holiday. (Last one for this story, I swear.) As I said before this story is winding down and there are probably only 1 or 2 chapters left, depending on how things shake out. That said, I have got another follow up in the works, so for those of you still wanting to read about this universe, have no fear (just promise to review :P). Sorry for the wait in the update, but this is an extra long chapter to make up for it. Hopefully it all works for you. For those of you waiting for a Shane update, one is very close. Thank you very much for reading and please let me know what you think. Enjoy!
Meredith's eyes were focused on her chart as she walked purposefully through the halls of Seattle Grace Mercy West. She was mildly irritated as she read the text because she realized that her prized pupil, Dr. Miles Rooney had made a mistake on his patient forms. The same mistake he'd made two times previously. Meredith had already taken him aside and spoken with him about it before.
It was one thing to make a mistake without knowing it was a mistake. It was entirely something else to make the same mistake over and over again. Meredith was an attending with a heavy case load of challenging neuro cases. On top of being a wife and mother. She simply have time to deal with what she viewed as her resident's continued stupidity. Teaching at this moment felt like a big imposition.
Rounding the first floor nurses station, Meredith started to head toward the elevator when her attention was drawn to the image of her best friend, Jackson, and Mark all lined up near one of the waiting room windows. She diverted her course and moved to join them out of pure curiosity.
It wasn't that it was entirely unheard of for this particular trio to be found together. If not in more informal situations, certainly the three had all cooperated on cases before. But other than that, Cristina, Mark, and Jackson, hanging out as a group was a little unusual. Especially in the middle of the work day. They all seemed to be transfixed with something outside the window.
Brow furrowing Meredith asked, "What's going on, guys?"
"Potentially? World War III," Cristina joked, gesturing through the window at two figures seated side by side on a bench.
Following her gaze, Meredith squinted. It looked like...No. It couldn't be. She took another step closer to the window and her jaw dropped. Sure enough, her eyes hadn't been deceiving her at all. That was April Kepner and Izzie Stevens seated on the same bench outside the hospital. Not touching or anything. Not at all. The distance between them was still acutely large.
But the fact that they were just sitting? On the same seat? Apparently in a non-antagonistic silence? It blew Meredith away. Izzie seemed to be crying and April was just sitting with her. Amazing.
As far as she knew and could tell, over the past month of Kyle's hospitalization, one thing that both April and Izzie had mutually seemed to agree on was to actively try to avoid each other. Meredith could understand why. She'd been present for one of their encounters, and it was totally uncomfortable.
She'd always thought April seemed a little frightened of Izzie, and more than a little awkward. Izzie seemed annoyed and dismayed by April, though she was also clearly grateful that the red haired trauma surgeon had saved Kyle's life. They didn't exactly have a lot of common ground, but Meredith supposed going forward, they would have to get their differences sorted out, Because Alex was determined to have Kyle in his life.
"How long have they been out there?" she asked curiously.
Jackson's jaw was set in concern and he shrugged, "We're not really sure. 10...15 minutes tops."
"Not that they seem to be doing much of anything," Sloan said, joking, but with a partially disguised look of disappointment that Jackson didn't ignore. "I mean, I thought by now there'd be a little chick fighting. Pulled hair or-"
"Shut up," the younger plastic surgeon snapped. "I should go out there..."
"They seem to be fine, Pretty Boy," Cristina said, gently holding his elbow to keep him from heading out the door. "Much as we might like to see a blow up, it doesn't seem like it's happening. Kepner can handle herself. So can Izzie. We should leave them be."
Meredith's mind immediately jumped ahead. If April was outside, and Izzie was outside, and there was crying involved. She knew it had to do with Kyle and Alex. She wondered where her broody friend was, and if he knew that the mothers of his children were seemingly at peace with each other in front of the hospital. Meredith couldn't decided whether he'd be happy or pissed about the scene outside.
"We should get back to work," she added, feeling oddly intrusive as they all continued to observe.
"Yeah," Mark agreed, slapping Jackson lightly on the bottom, making the younger man scowl. "Come on Avery. We've got places to go, patients to see..."
Jackson rolled his eyes, and reluctantly followed the older plastic surgeon toward the elevators, "You can't keep ordering me around like this, you know. I'm not a fellow anymore. I am a full attending now."
"Ah, but you still listen. I am still the department head. Can't beat that..." Sloan gleefully replied as the two men's voice drifted away in the distance.
Meredith smirked and Cristina shook her head. Both women lingered by the window for a moment, watching the two women outside. Old friend and new friend. Things still felt weird for Meredith. As much as she was certain that April had been actively trying to avoid Izzie in recent weeks, she felt a bit guilty because she knew that both she and Cristina had been steering clear of their old friend too.
After a moment, Meredith sighed. She still felt a lot of anger, hurt, and resentment toward Izzie. It was the reason she'd stayed away. Probably the reason Cristina also wasn't spending an inordinate amount of time trying to repair things with their blonde friend. It was still too hard. Too painful. And Meredith couldn't see a way past all of that yet.
Bidding a quick farewell to Cristina, she decided to go back to work, and resumed her search for her mistake making intern Dr. Rooney. When she found the young doctor, he was with a group of other curious residents clustered outside a supply room, wide eyed. Oh, what a day.
Meredith didn't need to ask why they were there. The mess that poured out of the room was explanation enough. If Cristina, Mark, and Jackson had really wanted to see World War III...
The supply room certainly looked as though a bomb had gone off inside. And in a way, maybe one had. The door was wide open, and there were packages and carts strewn on the floor, flowing out into the hallway. Inside one shelf looked like it had been tipped over. The answer to Meredith's earlier question was right in front of her, scowling out at the damage done as he sat on the floor, with his back against the far wall.
Oh, Alex.
It had been a long time since he'd had an outburst like this. In fact, the last time probably involved Izzie. As far as Meredith knew. Just looking at him, she could see just how torn up he was. Her curiosity about the whole situation, already high after watching Izzie and April outside, piqued as Meredith continued to watch her old friend.
Alex wasn't even yelling at the residents for staring at him.
Frowning, Meredith walked over to the residents with her arms outstretched, "Move along. You're doctors, I know you all have better things you could be doing..."
She took a threatening step closer to them and the group began to scatter. Her own 5th year resident, however, seemed reluctant to leave.
"But Dr. Grey..." Rooney said urgently, pointing urgently into the closet with one thumb.
"You!" Meredith interrupted, forcefully shoving the chart into his shaking hands. "You need to redo your patient history! Once again, you've left crucial areas blank. If I've told you once, I have told you a thousand times you have to record everything the patient tells you, even if it doesn't line up with their previous records..."
"I know," Rooney replied sheepishly, letting his curly hair fall into his eyes. Her anger towards him diminished as he continued speaking, with genuine concern, "But Dr. Grey, Karev is wigging out. Big time and-"
" You go do your job." Meredith glanced wistfully into the room in front of them, "I'll handle Dr. Karev."
"Are you sure?"
"Better me than you."
The fifth year nodded and took a few steps, eyeing Meredith closely, "Okay..."
"Go away, Dr. Rooney."
As he scampered off, Meredith turned and tentatively entered Alex's supply closet, stepping over the fallen packages of gauze and bandages. She winced when she noticed that several of the fallen boxes contained sterile items. If the packaging had gotten damaged it would be unusable, and would likely cost Alex a pretty penny.
Seeming to sense her thoughts, Alex looked up with a wry smirk, "Hunt's gonna be pissed..."
"Yeah," Meredith breathed, walking up to the wall and sliding to the floor next to her old friend.
Alex sighed, running a hand down his neck, and leaning his head back against the solid surface behind him. She crossed her legs and sat in silence, idly picking up a discarded box of bandages.
"I have to hand it to you though," Meredith joked after a brief silence. "You don't half ass anything. Even freaking out..."
"No, I don't," he chuckled, extending one leg and resting his head on the knee of the other. "Especially when I am pissed.'
"What's got you so pissed?" Meredith probed.
Alex ran another hand across his face as though the simple action could whip away the distress that was clearly etched into his features. With a sigh he finally replied, "Izzie..."
It wasn't really a surprise to Meredith. Izzie, Izzie, Izzie. Always Izzie, she thought bitterly letting her own anger and resentment color her impressions.
"I don't-I don't think she's gonna let me see Kyle...I'm afraid she'll just take him back to Tacoma and we'll never see him again," Alex admitted, sounding heart broken. "She'll just take him and leave."
Meredith sighed. It was a valid enough fear, not only for Alex, but for all of them. Izzie had left once before.
However, knowing that the woman in question had, in fact, not left with no trace, and instead was parked on a bench in front of the hospital with April Kepner made Meredith wonder. Something didn't quite add up, but Meredith wasn't sure about anything. She didn't want to mention seeing the women earlier because she was a little nervous it might make Alex flip out once again.
"Did she...say that?"
Alex shrugged, "Not exactly. It started off alright, I guess. Trying to figure out what to do. I just wanted her to let me see Kyle on the weekends, you know? And then...I said stuff and she-yelled stuff, how I don't have custody or whatever and I said more stuff I probably shouldn't have and...here we are."
He gestured at the chaos around them.
Meredith nodded again, allowing her friend to vent and speak as he needed to. Even now, all these years later, there was still a lot of emotion between her old friends. Simmering just beneath the surface. The simplest conversations could dredge up old resentments and spiral out of control.
Alex sniffed guiltily, "I think Kyle heard..."
That would be something else that would upset Alex. Meredith knew his experience with his own father had been one of anger and abuse, and it was clear that he wanted to break that chain with his own children. His anger was likely as much disappointment in himself as it was anger at his ex-wife.
"April thinks we should get a lawyer," Alex continued.
"Is that such a bad idea?"
He scowled and scratched the back of his head uncomfortably, "Lawyering up screwed everything over in the first place. Her lawyers sent her papers to me, I gave them to mine and...here we are today."
Alex's fear and mistrust of "the system", authority, and rules in general was well documented throughout Meredith's whole experience with her friend. And it wasn't like his suspicions weren't unfounded. What had laws or lawyers ever done for Alex? Certainly didn't protect his family from an abusive father. At the same time, given the trouble Alex and Izzie seemed to have communicating, Meredith thought it might be a good move.
"Plus," Alex added in a mumble. He sighed and shook his head.
Meredith could tell he was holding something back, "Plus what?"
"Plus...what if...what if I get a lawyers and there's nothing they can do? I mean...I signed the divorce papers, Mer. Custody of the embryos all went to her. And any kid they might grow into. I'm afraid they'll just tell me that I can't see him anyway...and if this gets dragged in to some freaking custody fight...I just-that's gonna be hell on everybody. It'll be hell on Kyle."
A valid fear. Meredith didn't know what would happen if Alex did seek legal counsel. There would be no guarantees in this. But she did know one thing. A parent should never give up.
"Even so," Meredith answered, speaking from her own agonizing experiences. "You have to fight. If there is going to be one, you have to say you gave it everything. You fighting will matter to Kyle someday. Don't give up, even if it is hard."
Alex banged his head on the wall and swore softly. As the conversation seemingly ended, Meredith sighed. She could do little more than sit with her friend, so that was all she did. She didn't know how long they'd sat there, before a gentle knock pulled their gazes to the door way. The figures Meredith saw in the doorway surprised her and her eyebrows lifted in shock. Glancing over to Alex she could see that his jaw had dropped.
It was April and Izzie. They weren't quite standing side by side. April had stepped into the room and leaned up against the opposite wall, surveying the damage of Alex's outburst with eyes as wide as saucers. Izzie remained in the hallway looking both guilty and defiant keeping her head low. Meredith would be hard pressed to say which of the to women looked the most uncomfortable. April nervously wrung her hands in front of her, while Izzie's balled fists remained firmly stuffed into her jeans pockets.
No, they definitely were not side by side. But it was clear that they'd come here together.
Alex scowled, "What the hell?"
"We need to talk," Izzie began quietly.
"Ya think?" Alex grumbled.
She sighed, "I'm...sorry."
Alex glared and curled his lip, but April raised her eyebrows and tilted her head.
"Uh, me too," he fumbled after a beat. "Whatever. I...I get it. This is hard."
"No joke," his ex-wife agreed. "Hard doesn't begin to cover it. But...I think maybe we just need to swallow that pill. This is hard, and it's gonna be hard, but we're the grown ups and we all have to do what is best for Kyle. So..."
"So...?" Alex said skeptically.
"So, I am not going to take him away from you, Alex," Izzie conceded. "I...I know my promise doesn't mean much to you, but I do promise. I couldn't do that to him. I...it was a mistake to imply that I would. I've made mistakes. But I am going to let you see my...our son. He can even stay with you sometimes."
She held up a finger, "Not every weekend...at least...not until we get a better schedule figured out. And not right away, but..."
Izzie glanced over to April and swallowed, "We...talked. And...well, it made me think. We have to go for quality time above all. So...we'll figure this out, okay? We'll go to the cafeteria right now...and just...hash it out. You and me. Get something started."
Alex nodded, "Okay."
Feeling decidedly out of place, Meredith stood up, and headed for the door, "I'm just gonna...go..."
She walked into the hallway and Izzie took a step back. Alex was still sitting on the floor looking a little dumbfounded.
"Alex?" April asked tentatively, when a few moments passed and Alex still didn't move.
He looked at her then, and it was one of those moments Meredith often noticed where some sort of silent conversation occurred between them. April pursed her lips and she let her gaze sweep across the decimated supply closet. Alex shrugged, and his expression became sheepish. His mouth took on a half smirk. Suddenly, the two of them burst into a spontaneous fit of nervous giggles that took both Meredith and Izzie by surprise.
Alex shook his head and rose to his feet, "Wyatt is going to have a field day with this...I'm supposed to getting over the pissy crap"
"She'll probably make you do breathing exercises..." April agreed, taking a step back into the hallway as Alex left the closet.
Alex snorted. April bit her lip with a twinkle in her eye.
"Anger management. Maybe meditation."
Rolling his eyes dramatically, and nudging his fiancees shoulder as he brushed past her Alex complained, "Be still my beating heart."
April tilted her head to one side, "You might get a stress ball out if it."
"That would be kind of cool," he conceded, as a full smirk appeared on his face.
Meredith and Izzie watched the exchange with curiosity. It surprised Meredith that they were talking so openly about the fact that they saw a therapist, but then again, it wasn't something they'd hidden from her. And she'd never even pretended to understand the effect either of them could have on the other. Alex could calm April's most neurotic freak outs, and in turn April could ease even Alex's most unreasonable moods. They'd had their ups and downs over the years, but Meredith had seen on occasions like this that they could do for each other what no one else could. Use a little humor and joking to make even the most heavy situations that much more bearable. It wasn't always appropriate, or even always the kind of joking you'd see other couples do, but it worked for them.
Izzie, for her part, observed them, looking both intrigued and puzzled by the interaction. She crossed her arms and scratched the back of her head. It must be weird for her, Meredith thought. Alex had always been someone during the intern days that only Izzie really seemed to understand. It must be different to see your ex move on and be happy with someone else, even if you wanted the divorce.
April moved to the nearest nurses station and started to explain the mess in the supply closet and arrange for it to be cleaned up. Meredith moved off, down the hallway to treat her own patients, leaving Alex and Izzie in the hallway alone.
"Alright, Iz. Come on," Alex said, gesturing to the elevators that would lead to the cafeteria. "Let's do this."
Hearing that, Meredith smiled faintly. Maybe this wasn't going to be World War III after all. It was shaping up to be a lot more like a Yalta conference. A meeting of parents.
Allies, not enemies.
Christmas in Ohio was nice enough, as far as Alex was concerned, great even, despite the amount of freaking relatives crawling around the Kepner house. During the course of their stay, it seemed like people were coming out of the woodwork. More would be coming for the big ol' Christmas Eve dinner. To meet Adam, Alex supposed. And it was nice.
Different than he'd grown up with, and Alex was more than happy to let his kid have the kind of Christmas's where your cousins ran around and your grandmother made gingerbread in the kitchen, and your grandfather let you pet a pig. No fighting or crying or cops. Adam deserved better than what he'd had as a child. Alex just thought that mornings in Cook, Ohio started way too freakin' early.
It was only the eve of the big day, and yet, here Alex was, wide awake and up helping Joe and Mike and April feed the pigs in the chilly weather. It was just shy of 7 am. And it wasn't like he'd just gotten up either. Alex tried and failed to hold back a massive yawn. Jesus.
April hoisted a bucket, helping out as best she could, with her limp, and giggled when Alex yawned again.
Whatever. He couldn't help the yawning, but it wasn't complaining. Alex figured the least he could do was help Joe out. He was staying in the dude's house. Screwing his kid. Soon to marry her.
And Joe had always accepted him into the family. They were going to tell everyone about Kyle at the big family get together later in the day, and Alex was more than a little afraid because he knew it wouldn't go over well with the more conservative members of April's family. They were already shocked enough that April and Alex had had Adam "out of wedlock" (like people even cared about that crap anymore), so a long lost kid with an ex-wife wasn't going to do Alex's reputation around here much good. So, helping with the chores was also a bid, in a way.
A bid to keep Joe on his side.
Alex knew better than to get complacent. Things were going far too well on the Izzie front lately. Things were different. They'd agreed to slowly work their way up to Kyle spending longer periods of time with Alex. Since the day the boy went home from the hospital, he'd gone to visit in Tacoma once a week until this Ohio trip. And Iz had let April and Alex take Kyle with them when Adam had his first Santa picture at Westlake mall. In the new year, the plan was to have Kyle start staying over at the house. Izzie had even asked that they take him for a weekend in January when she had to go to a conference. Too good to be true.
Add to that, Adam's first plane ride had been a surprisingly painless experience. He'd barely been fussy and had been content enough to move from lap to lap, between Alex, April and Amber. Most of the trip he slept. Infants aren't supposed to be good at flying. Something had to give somewhere. So, with April's family finding out, Alex figured it was safe to expect the worst.
Wrinkling his nose as April poured some nasty smelling slop into the pig pen, speaking softly about breakfast to the assembled pigs, Alex shook his head. Though they had both grown up in the Midwest, the way they'd grown up had been completely different. Inner city Davenport was a world away from all this agricultural crap. There was so much knowledge surrounding farming that Alex didn't know and April clearly did.
The fuzzy pinkish beasts all clamored over to April as she dumped their food in, and Alex shifted his bucket awkwardly. Joe and Mike could tell Alex was out of his depth. April knew, and so did he. He was kind of crap with it actually.
A freaking huge hog, made a disgusting noise and brushed past Alex, eager to get to the new food, and despite himself, he scrambled to the side. Unfortunately, his borrowed boots were a little too big, and his feet slid around in side the shoe, causing Alex to momentarily loose his balance. Swearing viciously, it was all he could do to grab the side of the pen and stop himself from falling and looking like a complete idiot.
Mike snickered, and Joe shook his head. The stupid hog honked.
April covered her mouth with her hand, "It's only a pig, Alex."
He smirked, "A monster mutant fat pig."
The one good thing about getting up early was that chores got done early enough that it still felt like you had a morning left. By the time they were all done, and trudging back into the farmhouse, it was only 9 am. And they couldn't have gotten a better welcome into the house. From his seat on an old and well worn wooden high chair, Adam's toothless grin greeted Alex and April as they came into the kitchen from outside. Karen Kepner had managed to rouse Amber to prepare pancakes and coffee. Libby and the girls came up from the house, and the group enjoyed breakfast together. And nobody got too pissed off. Alex even enjoyed his future sister and brother in laws company for the most part. If only it could last.
Alex knew that the big Christmas Eve dinner was going to be the real test.
Later on, as more and more Kepner relatives started to trickle in, Alex found that he was better off chilling with Adam and the kids. At least he knew that they liked him. Claire and Tiffany had bonded with Alex from the start, his very first visit in fact, because they thought he was funny. Alice and Diego's little girl was an outgoing and curious enough toddler that she had no apprehensions about scrambling in to Alex's lap, even though he was basically a stranger. And while he was pretty sure Kimmie and Wendell's daughter Haley didn't remember him, Alex thought he was winning her over too.
In addition to April's sisters and their families, many extended family members that he was unfamiliar with showed up in the house, eager to meet Adam, and not only because he was the was the newest baby. Alex also suspected that he and April's current marital status (or lack thereof) was also a point of interest. Which made him feel crappy.
It was hard enough to keep track of April's sister's names. Let alone all these new people. Karen's sister Martha, and her husband Gus had driven in all the way from some place called Moline, (with the deaf in one ear Grandma Murphy in tow) and cousins, Fred and Doris, came from freaking Ferrndale with what felt like at least a dozen rampaging children. Alex found the whole thing to be pretty overwhelming.
He wasn't the only one either. Adam had gotten increasingly flustered and fussy throughout the day, as more guests appeared. Poor kid had gotten passed from person to person most of the evening, and he wasn't always that great with strangers and crowds. April kept trying to pry herself away from the vice like grip of all the chicks in the kitchen to rescue Adam, but the freaking flock of chick relatives seemed determined to pepper her with questions and share gossip. Alex did his best to comfort his son, limiting the getting passed around thing as best he could when Adam got too fussy.
They'd all come to see the baby, but it was clear to Alex that his son wasn't always keen on being the center of attention.
Amber on the other hand, seemed to be having a blast chatting it up with some of the teenage cousins or whatever. All the older kids seemed to think his little sister was cool since had a dyed blue streak in her hair and she was in college and studied architecture, which Alex thought was a little funny. They listened with rapt attention as she waxed on and on about kind of boring stuff really. Hair and statements. Neo-gothic this, and soaring buttress that. Like is was really so interesting. Alex got that it was fascinating to someone like Amber, who wanted to design stuff for a living, but how any of it could really hold much interest to anyone was was beyond him. Farm kids didn't get out much, he supposed.
Alex frowned and took a drink of his hot chocolate as he sat on the couch and supervised his son and nieces. Karen had laid out a warm blanket on the floor near the Christmas tree along with some toys, and Adam and all the girls were crawling around playing on it. Across from him sat Grandma Murphy. She looked positively ancient. Karen must have been one of her younger children. Alex chuckled. He was pretty sure that the old lady had fallen asleep.
It was clear to Alex that April and Adam and Amber all seemed to be people 'the family' was interested in seeing and talking to. Aside from the members of April's family that he was already close to, Alex noticed that he was getting a decidedly chiller reception. Freakin' Uncle Gus kept walking past periodically, and he was pretty sure the guy was only doing to to glare at Alex and mutter crap about "loose morals". Whatever.
Bouncing out of the kitchen happily, Alice sat down next to Alex bumping into his shoulder and grinning.
"Are you okay in here?"
"Hey, watch it!" Alex said shifting away from his future sister in law, and preventing his bevrage from sloshing all on the couch. "I'm fine. Whatever. I can handle the kids."
"So?" Alice inquired, ignoring his near spill. "What is this big news April keeps hinting at that neither of you has told me a damn thing about?"
"We're gonna tell everyone at dinner..." Alex grumbled.
More like April would. Tell the whole big group at once and have done with it. He sincerely hoped April would take the lead. He felt kind of bad, because if it was up to him, Alex wasn't sure when he'd tell April's family anything. Kyle, he felt wasn't really any of their business, especially if anyone was going to be weird or insulting about his own time, he'd have been content to tell Joe, Karen, Alice and Diego, and maybe the other sisters and have done with it. Then again, maybe he was being a coward.
Determined to snoop, Alice asked, "You're buying a house?"
Not if they wanted to afford any sort of nice wedding. What with covering his sister's tuition, his mother and brother's psych placements, and some lingering med school debts, Alex knew home ownership was still a long way off.
"We're good in the one we have right now, actually," he sighed.
It was clear that April's youngest sister was kind of having fun peppering him with twenty questions. Her eyes narrowed and she drummed her fingers against each other.
"April got a promotion?"
"Not that I've heard about."
"You then?"
"No."
"You're moving to Ohio?"
"Hell no."
"You've set the date for the wedding? June 29th, right?"
Alex scowled, "You already know that, even if no one else does. So it's hardly big news to you. This was big news for everyone. Trust me."
Alice pouted, "Then it really is something I don't know?"
"You don't know this."
They were momentarily distracted by the sound of a giggle and a squeal coming from the blanket where the kids were playing. It seemed that the girls had figured out that Adam's mood greatly improved when there was music involved. All his cousins were happily clapping and singing Christmas carols, with Adam in the middle grinning and drooling. Their shrill voices seemed loud enough to rouse Grandma Murphy who's head jerked up.
"What?" the old lady demanded loudly, peering at Alex and Alice on the couch as though they were the reason she'd woken up.
"Nothing," Alice replied quickly with a smile. "Just the kids."
"Huh?" she gestured to one ear. "Damned hearing aids. I don't hear too well these days, honey."
"Believe me, we know," Alice whispered before leaning forward and raising her voice. "Merry Christmas, Grandma!"
"Oh!" the old woman seemed to have heard that. "Merry Christmas to you too, Libby, dear."
"It's Alice."
"What?"
"I'm Alice."
"Come again?"
"Nevermind."
That response seemed to satisfy Grandma Murphy because she nodded, and turned her attention to the children playing on the blanket. Alice turned back to face Alex, clearly still trying to guess what news he and April had to share.
The dark haired Kepner sister gasped, and covered her mouth, "Oh my God! Oh...are you? Are you guys having another baby? You're not going to have to postpone the wedding again, are you?"
Setting his mug of cocoa on a table near the couch Alex ran a hand down the back of his head. Not exactly another baby. He'd certainly gained another kid, and he supposed, April had too, but Kyle was not what Alice would expect.
"We're getting married June 29th 2015, come hell or high water," Alex replied finally. "April already booked us at St...something or other."
He'd visited the place with her only a matter of days before flying out here actually. Alex had thought it was nice enough, especially since April seemed to love it. He was just happy that there was room enough to do a kick ass reception, complete with booze. If he was going to have to put on the tux and grit his teeth through all the ceremony and stuff, because he knew that was the kind of wedding April had dreamed of, at the very least he wanted to have a hell of a party afterwards. April agreed and they'd put their name down on the spot.
"Hmm..." Alice looked pensive and then suddenly fearful. "It...it is good news isn't it?"
"Nobody's dying," Alex muttered. He wasn't sure whether Alice or anyone else in the family would actually end up categorizing finding out about Kyle as "good" news.
"You're not going to crack, are you?"
"Nope."
"Spoilsport."
Smirking, Alex shrugged, "I have to get my kicks somehow."
"Hold on!" Grandma Murphy spoke up again, pointing one skeletal finger toward her granddaughter. "My cataracts are just terrible...You're not Libby."
"No, Grandma. I'm Alice."
"That's not your husband."
For all that she could barely hear and barely see, Alex supposed the old lady was a bit of a snoop. It was no wonder that April, her mom, and all of her sisters had particularly loud and shrill voices. Probably the only way they could communicate with the nearly deaf old woman at all. Then again, he thought with a smirk, maybe it was the other way around. The shrill voices might have caused the deafness.
"No," Alice explained loudly. "This is Alex. He came from Seattle with April." She gestured to Adam and the girls as they continued playing on the blanket in front of them. "They brought the baby to meet everyone."
"Aw and he is cute," Grandma Murphy said fondly, as she looked down at Adam. She blinked, "April and who?"
"April and Alex brought their baby to see us!"
Alice seemed sadly amused by the older woman's hearing troubles, and Alex was never much good at dealing with old people so he simply kept his mouth shut.
When all the food was ready, Karen ushered the whole freaking clan into the cramped dining room. The place was packed and it seemed to Alex that every single available table, from the kitchen table to a fold out outdoor picnic table. Everyone clustered in groups, with Karen and Joe at the ends of the table. Amber, Alex and April sat nearer to Karen, with Adam's highchair between, and Alice and her family directly across from them, and Grandma Murphy to his right.
As everyone started to eat and converse, Alex was quiet and only picked at his food. Which was pretty freaking unusual because Karen was one hell of a cook. April had learned a lot from her mother. His appetite was off. Not that he was nervous or anything.
The uncharacteristic behavior did not go unnoticed because, April lifted her gaze to his questioningly as she offered a spoon of mashed potatoes and leeks, "So when do you think...should we tell them?"
Before Alex could reply, Amber rolled her eyes and spread butter on a roll, speaking loud enough for everyone to hear, "Yes, you should freaking tell them. I'm tired of keeping this crap a secret."
"Shh!" he snapped, still feeling uncomfortable with the whole situation.
But Alex's warning came too late, because across the table, Alice's interest had clearly picked up, as she turned her attention away from persuading her daughter Gaby to eat some green beans. Alex's heart sank as her husband Diego too, joined his wife in looking across the table at them expectantly. Damn. The dude was kind of his buddy, but even he looked like a kid in a candy store. And the trend spread down the table like wildfire, as gradually the silverware clanking and loud chatter quieted down, and in a matter of moments the whole table from Uncle Gus right down to Claire and Tiffany, turned their collective attention to Alex and April.
"Come on, you two," Karen encouraged with a grin. "You can't keep us waiting any longer. What is this big announcement that April keeps hinting at?"
Alex scowled and looked at all the faces around the table. Most were eager and open and excited. Diego and Alice looked positively giddy, as did Kimmie, Karen and April's nieces. They were probably expecting to hear news about the wedding since they had been the most excited about it way back when Alex had first popped the question. Or maybe they thought the announcement would be about April's job or something. Anything but what they were about to say. In the awkward pause that followed, Alex felt his mouth go dry.
There were also faces at the table that were less friendly. Uncle Gus and Aunt Martha looked at Alex with thinly veiled disapproval, and Mike nudged Wendell with a snicker. Libby just pursed her lips and shook her head. They expected the worst, and Alex was pretty sure that Kyle's appearance in April's life was not something these members of her family were going to thank him for. It was just a hunch. The other people at the table were less easy to read. Grandma Murphy's face gave nothing away, so Alex figured she was just confused. And Joe...Joe was the one person at the table who Alex didn't want to be pissed. And his expression was completely unreadable.
Crap. Alex didn't honestly know why he cared so much what all of April's family thought. He knew what April thought, and she'd gotten wholeheartedly on board with being a part of Kyle's life and that really should be all that mattered right? Under the table April reached out her hand and threaded her fingers through Alex's own, and suddenly he didn't feel so bad.
"Well," April began awkwardly. "Alex and I...we have a new addition to the family..."
"You're pregnant!" Alice slammed her hand down on the table in excitement, "I knew it!"
"Wait," April continued, as Alex shook his head vigorously. "Everyone just hold on one-"
Libby tutted, "Let me guess. The wedding is going to be 'postponed', yet again. Seems like any time you come within a mile of getting married, he gets you pregnant."
Mike, Martha, and Gus chuckled, despite the death glares they were getting from both Alex and April. Joe's expression was still unreadable and Karen looked a little uncertain.
"Shut up!" Amber snapped across the table. "You don't know what the hell-"
"Language, Amber," April hissed gesturing to the amount of children present.
The table erupted in conversation, and it was clear to Alex that the situation was quickly getting out of hand. Giving April's fingers a gentle squeeze, Alex raised his voice, "Nobody is pregnant."
"No?" Alice seemed genuinely disappointed. "But you said 'new addition' and that usually means..."
"It's not that kind of new addition," April started again only to be interrupted by her third sister.
"Then you are getting a dog?" Kimmie said, whipping the corner of her mouth with a napkin.
Alex looked at her in shock and found himself surprisingly amused. Freaking A. April always said her next youngest sister was the most literal out of all of them. When she heard different kind, her go to thought was different species.
"You got a puppy, Uncle Alex?" Claire asked with enthusiasm, taking more interest in the conversation now that the possibility of a new pet was in the mix.
"No," he replied. "Adam has a big brother."
April's eyes widened but she followed his lead, "Yes, his name is Kyle, and...well you know Alex is divorced..."
Alex had not intended to just blurt out the truth. Quite the contrary, his plan was to let April drop the big bomb. And it was a big bomb. You could see it all on their faces as the realization dawned on them, and they tried to work out how their brand new baby nephew could suddenly have an older brother. He shook his head in frustration as the chatter erupted at the table once again. Everyone was suddenly just talking, and neither April nor Alex could hear enough of what was being said to freaking understand who was speaking let alone get a word in edgewise to explain.
"Did he cheat on you?" Came Wendell's line of questioning.
Libby voiced her suspicions, "I bet he knew his ex had a baby and lied about it."
"Settle down, everyone, I am sure there is a logical explanation," Joe tried to calm the group.
Out of the cacophony of voices, Tiffany piped up dejectedly, "You mean we got another boy cousin?"
The noise and elevated tension in the room was palpable, and Adam started to fuss, so April carefully lifted the boy into her lap, straightening her shoulders and quieting down the whole table with a firm tone.
"Everybody, please be quiet for just one minute and we will explain; it's really not what you think."
When the crowded dinning room shut up, April and Alex began to speak. The complicated, ex-wife-cancer-frozen-embryo story did seem to clear up a few points. They casually slipped their chosen wedding date into the conversation and that, for whatever reason, seemed to ease much of the unease people seemed to be feeling. Alex was also adamant about the fact that he really would never make any other choice than to care for his child, no matter what the circumstances. If they thought it was a bad call, they could suck it. Alex knew there were no other options.
Karen's eyes reflected only sympathy, and Alice and Diego shook their heads in disbelief. It was quite the story. The kind of crap that doesn't happen to normal people, in normal family's like April. Alex knew he was the one who brought in all this dysfunction, and he'd seen what it had done to his own family, but that was part of the reason he was doing what he was with Kyle at all. He and Amber were lucky, and he didn't ever want things to be messed up for either of his sons. And it looked like April's family understood why it was so important to Alex to be there for Kyle. Joe's expression only held approval, and Alex didn't know why, but that made all of his apprehensions disappear.
Like, whatever, about the rest of them. Alex still had the old farmer's respect.
"We're happy to have him in the family," April concluded, "Kyle already loves Adam. He's a great little boy and I can't wait to get to know him better."
Alex felt his chest tighten and he took a gulp of water. He knew from talking with her, and from their sessions with Dr. Wyatt that April really was coming to terms with the whole Kyle situation. Hell, he still had no idea what she'd talked about with Iz the day the boy was released from the hospital, but it had gotten his ex-wife to come to the table and actually discuss what needed to be done. He'd known that his fiance was adapting to having Kyle in their lives. But Alex had never heard her speak about his older son in that way.
"And...and the two of you?" Karen ventured. "I mean, it sounds like this was a bit of a shock..."
"You're telling me," Amber mumbled.
"We're solid," Alex replied quickly, ignoring his sister. "It was a shock-"
"But we got through it," April agreed.
Joe nodded and resumed eating his dinner, catching Alex's eyes, "Well, I'm all for having another grandson..."
"Dad," Libby admonished. "His child with his ex-wife is hardly your grandson. He's not even related to you. Or any of us really."
"Doesn't matter to me," Joe said sternly. "Adam's my grandson, so I'll consider his brother a grandson too."
"But-"
"But nothing Libby, it's only fair. And it doesn't hurt anyone at all."
April beamed at her dad, and Alex shook his head. He didn't have the freaking words to thank Joe. Throughout the rest of the night, he set the tone for the rest of the night, and even though it was clear to April and Alex that Libby, Mike, and some of the others weren't exactly approving. Every time they tried to say something rude or whatever, Joe shut them down. Hell of a dude.
"So...it's of those freeze dried children?" Grandma Murphy asked, in an unexpected lull in the conversation, and pointing to Adam.
Amber held her head in her hands, "Oh dear God."
"No, Grandma," April explained. "Adam is my baby. Kyle is Alex's other son with his first wife...he was the one who was a frozen embryo..."
"What?"
"Alex has another child with his first wife!"
"Who? Alan?"
"Alex, Grandma. Alex."
"I thought his name was Alan."
And the conversation at the table swiftly continued, moving on from the unusual new development in Alex and April's lives to other topics of interest. New jobs, crop prices, and other boring crap really. It had been awkward as hell, but it was over.
Exchanging a look with April, Alex smiled, unable to hold in his laughter. Freaking weird as the whole thing was, he was becoming more and more okay with dealing with April's family. Sure, they were ridiculous and neurotic and had pigs and could be overwhelming, but they really weren't all that bad. In laws were supposed to get on your nerves sometimes anyway. According to Mer, at least.
Maybe things in general were looking up. Christmas Eve was not a total disaster.
"Well, it wasn't the worst thing in the world," April explained to Jackson, as she pushed a cart through the crowded aisles of Land of Nod, a local children's furniture store. Adam kicked his feet from the baby seat and gurgled, while Jackson shook his head in disbelief. "It really could have been much worse."
In retrospect, she probably should have told people in her family one at a time, rather than make a big deal out of everything and explain Kyle's existence to them all at once. But April had felt it was important-it was an important step for her- to tell her whole family about Kyle. She'd been almost excited to do it actually.
It was like she'd tried to explain to Alex and Dr. Wyatt, in their most recent therapy session. She felt like she'd turned a corner with the whole thing really, and she was actually kind of...well perhaps not looking forward to dealing with, but not resigned to either. Having Kyle in her life was a challenge that April was now ready to accept. And embrace. Where she hadn't been ready to share the news with her family at first, her new found peace with all the circumstances drove her to do it. April was ready to have the rest of the world know that she was a stepmother.
So what, if announcing it all at Christmas Eve dinner had made a bit of a splash? At least it saved her and Alex the drama of telling people individually. That would have caused just as many waves, if not more, given the fact that she knew certain relatives would have been offended if they didn't hear the news before others. This way, it was all out in the open at the same time for everyone to hear.
Except Grandma Murphy, but she couldn't hear much anyway. They'd repeated the details at a louder volume and she seemed to get the gist.
"Man, I bet it was totally awkward though," Jackson said, holding up a small blue lamp with raised eyebrows.
They were furniture shopping, in preparation for Kyle's first overnight weekend stay with April and Alex while his mother was at an oncology conference. Alex was nervous about it, and she'd decided the best way to deal with that would be to prepare, and make his space at their home as comfortable as a second home could be. What had once been Izzie's room in Meredith's house was currently being transformed into her stepson's second bedroom, with a little help from their friends, of course. Those who had the day off that is. Currently, Alex, Meredith, Cristina, and Mara of all people were re-painting the walls of the room, while Zola "supervised". April, Adam, and Jackson were out shopping for a bed, dresser, and toy chest.
She'd actually expected to be joined on the shopping trip with Mara. At least in the original plan. But when her best friend and his girlfriend arrived at the house earlier in the afternoon, April had detected a decidedly chilly vibe between the two. Mara was all pursed lips and Britishness, and had insisted on doing her bit and "mucking in" with the painting, suggesting not so subtly that Jackson join April on the shopping trip instead. The whole thing was odd, because Jackson had spent the Christmas holiday in London with Mara's family and as far as April knew, things had gone well. Something was off between them, but so far Jackson had been unusually chatty, and steered the topics away from himself.
"It doesn't seem like the kind of thing a lot of them would roll with. Divorce and all of that. Didn't one of your uncles call Adam a bast-um...the b-word back when he was first born?" Jackson continued, clearly determined to keep this line of conversation going. "Wasn't he there?"
"That was Cousin Warren, and no he wasn't," April replied uncomfortably. She'd never been particularly close to her mother's cousins Warren and Nancy. When her sister's had told her what had happened, including the part about how angry her mom and dad became and the fact that they'd refused to invite them to anymore family functions until Warren apologized, April was hardly gutted.
"Anyway, it all turned out for the best," she continued, shrugging her shoulders. "My mom and my dad basically are treating it like they've gained another grandson. And Alice and Diego are okay with Kyle, of course. And the rest...well, what they think doesn't matter as much."
Jackson sighed. He'd never been as good as he pretended about not letting what his family though influence his decisions. April watched her friend closely. He looked pretty miserable. His blue green eyes were down cast, and his shoulders slumped.
"Do you think he'd like this lamp?" Jackson asked, holding up a cute looking lamp with soccer balls all on it.
April grinned. She still felt like she didn't know much about Kyle, but if there was one thing she'd learned was that he loved sports. She couldn't count the number of times she'd taken Adam to Kyle's room during one of Alex's visits and found father and son engrossed with some game on the tv. Kyle was only two, so his understanding of the rules was suspect, but when Alex became outraged by a play. he would be too.
"Yes," she agreed, placing the lamp in the cart. "He should like that."
They walked to the next aisle in silence, pausing to grab some matching pillows and a comforter set. Adam babbled happily and poked at the items in the cart. It was pretty clear to April that whatever was bothering Jackson, he wasn't going to be the one to bring it up. She'd have to press him.
"Jackson," April asked casually. "Is something wrong?"
"No." He would not meet her gaze.
"Are you sure? Because...you don't seem yourself. And Mara doesn't either."
Okay, well, at least as far as April could see. She wasn't particularly close to the dark haired woman and didn't pretend to be any sort of expert at all when it came to he best friend's relationship with his girlfriend. Unlike most of their other friends, who were pretty open and often over shared much of went on with their significant others, Jackson and Mara were both very private. And April knew she wasn't actually terribly experienced with relationships and all of that, aside from what she'd learned from being with Alex.
But it didn't take a rocket scientist to know that something was not right between them, and April was more observant of her friend than most.
Jackson pursed his lips an scratched the back of his head, "Well...she's kind of mad at me."
"Why? I thought...I mean, you said everything went well at Christmas."
"It did," he continued, offering Adam his wiggling fingers to play with. "Too well maybe."
April tilted her head to one side, "What do you mean?"
Shrugged Jackson swallowed, "I mean, she...she wants to know where we're going with...all of this. With us."
"Okay..." April replied tentatively. She didn't think it was an unreasonable desire for a person to want to know. Especially given the fact that Mara had lived with Jackson for nearly two years. It was perfectly normal for a person to wonder where everything was headed. April certainly had. Hell, she and Alex had only been together for a year when he'd asked her to get married.
"So she asked you..."
"About the future and stuff. Like getting married," He seemed so sad, almost mournful even.
"And you said?"
"I...said I wasn't...I said I liked the way things are now." He rubbed the top of Adam's hair. "I do. It's simple. Easy."
April frowned. Ouch. It was easy to see how Mara might take that the wrong way.
"She wants more than simple and easy?"
"Yeah..." Jackson sighed stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Or to know that we are headed toward more than simple and easy."
"Is that such a bad thing?"
"Probably not, but...I just-I don't want to lose what we have."
"And maybe being on the path toward...marriage is something that would mess with that?" April asked, confused. Jackson and Mara were in a long term committed relationship. He didn't talk about it much, but one of the few things he had told her about his girlfriend was that he loved her. How could a discussion about the future not fit in with that?
"It did for my parents," Jackson replied finally, after a long pause. "Especially when combined with being surgeons, and then having me. It was too much. The pressure. It ruined their marriage. And my dad."
April wrinkled her nose. It was a pretty well known fact that Jackson's father Travis had cracked under the tremendous pressure of being an Avery and ran off when Jackson was little, coming into contact with the family only once again in the past 27 years. And only then to finalize a divorce. Jackson's background gave him every reason to be suspicious.
"You don't want to take that risk of losing it all," April stated.
"I...why can't things just stay the same?"
That was the question indeed. Once, April had been all about keeping things the same. She still thrived on routine and stability and in the predicable. And yet, lately her life with Alex had been all about unexpected change. From nearly losing her leg to falling in love and from getting pregnant with Adam to finding out about Kyle Stevens. Nothing stayed the same. Change was everywhere. And it wasn't always bad.
"Nothing can stay the same forever," April answered.
"It would be easier if it did," Jackson muttered.
Adam looked up at his mother and grinned, "Ma!"
April held his tiny hands and leaned forward to kiss his forehead, before turning her attention to her friend, "Things would also be very boring if everything in life stayed the same."
"Maybe," Jackson conceded. "For you. You were always braver than me..."
April snorted. "Very funny, Jackson." She was hardly a person anyone could describe as brave. And Jackson knew her well. He'd been her shoulder to cry on for more than enough occasions for him to know exactly how not brave she really was.
"I mean it," he said firmly. "I don't-I can't just be myself sometimes. I can't just be honest with people. Even Mara. I don't like putting stuff on the line when I don't know how things are going to play out."
"You don't want to get hurt."
"I don't."
No one wanted to get hurt in life, and April knew that there was nothing more risky than joining your hopes and dreams with someone else. Nothing more dangerous than placing your heart in someone else's hands. But it also had the potential to make you happier than you ever knew how to be. It was a gamble, for sure, but April thought it was one worth taking if you loved someone.
"Do you love her?"
Jackson didn't hesitate, "Of course."
"If you knew that a marriage would work, would you want to be her husband?"
"Absolutely."
"Can you imagine your life without her?"
He shook his head vigorously, "I don't want to. I would hate it."
April tapped Jackson on the shoulder, "Then man up. Put on your boy boxers and talk to he again about the future." She smirked and tried to lighten the mood by adding, "Or is it big boy briefs?"
Jackson laughed, and nudged her shoulders, "April!"
"I mean it, Jackson. If you are telling me that you love Mara, and the one thing that you are afraid of in thinking about the future is the fear that things won't work out, then I guarantee you that they won't."
Putting herself in Mara's shoes, April knew that it was true. She could remember the very conversation she'd had with Alex, once after he'd taken her to a nice dinner out and after they'd...celebrated at home. The conversation where she'd finally been able to finally learn that the "thing" they'd been doing for the past few months was a relationship. The kind of relationship that was on a path. A path that would ultimately lead Alex and April to Adam and to June 29th. If Alex had told her then that he didn't want to go in that direction...well, she'd probably have had to think long and hard about moving on. Because she'd wanted a relationship, with that kind of direction. April could understand Mara's frustration.
"Look," April continued earnestly. "You don't know what will happen in the future. None of us does. But you'll never know what could have been if you never even try. If you hold on to this moment too hard, it's going break, and then you really will get hurt. Talk to Mara."
Jackson gave her a bemused look, "If you hold on to a moment to hard, it's going to break? Where'd you come up with that one?"
"Hallmark channel," April smirked and angled her chin. "Maybe Lifetime."
He chewed the corner of his lip and was thoughtful for a moment, "I don't know...you have a point."
"I knowI have a point. The question is whether you know I do."
Jackson chuckled, "You like being right."
"Not really, it just happens a lot," April laughed.
Adam giggled and pointed between them, "Ma! Ja!"
April's eyes lit up and she clapped her hands for her son, "That's right, Adam! You got it. Mama and Uncle Jackson."
Jackson held out his hand for a little high five, "Way to go, little man." Adam didn't quite have the high five thing down, so he mimicked his godfather by holding out his hand. Grabbing hold of the baby's out stretched palm and doing a handshake instead, Jackson mumbled, "I'll talk to her. I'll try."
Wrapping one arm around her best friend's shoulder, April grinned, "That's good, Jackson. I'm glad."
"Well, just promise to come out and get trashed with me, if things don't work out."
"Deal."
Looking at their full cart April's thoughts turned to her own life. They had a be set, and a lamp and sheets. This time next weekend she, Adam, and Alex would be spending their first night with Kyle in their home. It was also a bit of a gamble, for everyone involved. It was a risk for Izzie to leave her son in the care of someone else. A risk for them to trust Izzie's word that she would continue to let Alex see Kyle. But it was a risk they all knew was worth taking, because ultimately it was the best for the children.
It was a change, for sure. But they were all working together to make sure that it was a good one.
"Change, Jackson..." April said as the begain pushing their cart to the next aisle. "Change can be scary, I know. I really do. But it is so worth it. Trust me."