A/N: Hello guys! I am so sorry to make you wait so long. Any of you dear readers in graduate school? I am. It's getting rough. I am less than two weeks away from my graduate thesis dissertation (May 8th), so I am sure you can understand that I've had to focus on that and much less on fun writing. So much to do and so very little time to do it. (Fingers crossed I pass!) But thesis doesn't mean that I haven't been working on this story and the follow up to come. If you've paid close attention to this story you may be able to guess what's coming in the next one. Or not, but some seeds are there. One more chapter to go for this, and it will follow with a much smaller gap; definitely not over a month! Then a brand new sequel for the hiatus. Thanks for sticking with me!

"So," Dr. Wyatt said breezily, spinning her pen between her fingers as she looked at her two clients. "Kyle has stayed with you how many weekends now?"

Scratching his head Alex squinted. He loved having Kyle over so much that had sort of become routine. "Five...or six..."

"Six," April confirmed with a nod.

Wyatt's eyes darted back and forth between Alex and his fiance, "How has that been going?"

"Pretty well," April replied hesitantly, glancing to Alex. "I mean, things have definitely improved since the first night, right?"

He shrugged and made a face, "Yeah...he's a freaking toddler so it's not like it was ever going to be a walk in the park. They don't call it terrible twos for nothing."

Alex thought back to the very first night Kyle Stevens had stayed in Seattle. He could admit that he'd been pretty damned unprepared for how everything would shake out actually. He'd gotten so focused on the fact that he wanted to see his son and that it blinded him a little bit to how hard the transition was going to be for Kyle. Just because the boy had been cool with Alex, Adam, and April visiting in the hospital and whatever did not mean that he was going to embrace spending two nights away from his mother for no apparent reason (that Kyle knew, anyway).

Integrating new people into your life was never easy. Neither was embracing a new home. Alex had learned that lesson well enough in his own life. He just supposed Kyle was having to learn that the hard way at a very young age.

"What happened the first night?" Wyatt probed.

"It was freaking hell," Alex mumbled, wincing at the memory. It felt like Kyle had screamed the whole night. There hadn't even been that many tears in the house when Adam was a newborn.

April reluctantly nodded, "Nobody got very much sleep..."

Shifting on the couch Alex recrossed his leg and winced. Stupid old thing. There was a spring in his butt.

"That must have been stressful for you." Wyatt commented, making him roll his eyes. Understatement of the century.

"In a word? Yes," Alex nodded. Sometimes he thought the psychologist just said obvious crap like that to get on his nerves. Or to get him thinking. Maybe both.

Kyle had been cool during the day. Alex had driven down to Tacoma to pick the boy up and things had started out fine. April had gone to work and taken Adam to daycare so Alex and Kyle could have some really concentrated time alone to bond. Alex thought that was important. Plus, Kyle was his kid, not April's and he'd wanted to handle things on his own with as minimal impact on his fiance's life as possible. The situation already brought them enough drama.

They'd gone to the park and ordered hot dogs from one of those stands along the waterfront and even visited the toy store. Kid still hadn't called him Dad, but at least they both had a good time. Alex had taken Kyle home after that and shown the toddler his new sports themed bedroom.

Moving as gingerly as his healing hips would allow, Kyle had curiously looked around the room. Alex remembered placing the boys overnight bag on the bed as his son looked around.

Kyle picked up a toy truck and the question came, "Mine?"

At that point Alex was still in the over confident sort of phase, thinking that it would be fine. It was going to be a piece of cake to have Kyle stay over. No big deal. The boy understood. He'd like it.

So, sinking to the edge of the bed, Alex laughed, "Sure little dude."

Another toy was lifted, "Mine?"

And another and another and another.

"All yours, kiddo."

Alex almost had to laugh at the gleeful way that Kyle systematically explored his new room. April, Mer, Amber, and even Cristina had all told him he was probably over buying stuff for his older son, but Alex had just wanted the room to...well, to look like a real kid's room. He'd wanted things to be balanced since it felt like Adam's nursery was overflowing sometimes and he never wanted Kyle to view his place in Alex's house as anything less than his brother. He'd been in foster home that were like that. You could always tell the real kids rooms from the fosters. Nicer, cleaner, more stuff. More love.

This room would be different. Not simply a place he slept in every now and again. He knew that things didn't equal love, but he wanted the room to feel like Kyle's. And he couldn't figure another way to start.

Alex wanted it to be another home.

"See," Alex explained, lifting Kyle into his lap and gently cradling the boy's bulky cast arm as he gestured to the rest of the space. "When you are here, this is gonna be your room, because I am your Dad and you are a part of my family even when we don't live together all the time. Understand?"

Of course Kyle didn't understand, and Alex had known that. Toddlers couldn't understand crap like that. He supposed he just needed to say it out loud for himself, since it was an idea he was still getting used to as a parent. All the same, Kyle's brown eyes grew pensive for a moment, as though he really was trying to understand. Then, he'd jumped down from the bed and started to play with his new haul of goodies, and Alex had let himself feel too much relief.

He'd thought things would be okay after that. All this blended family crap was a synch. It would all be fine. And it was at first.

April came home with Adam, and Kyle seemed both surprised and happy to discover that both 'Brubah' and 'Doc' lived here too. He'd seemed happy enough as the four of them ate dinner together, and more than happy to watch the movie Cars with Alex while April had put Adam to bed.

Kyle had even gotten comfortable on the couch. Comfortable enough to lean his small warm body against Alex's chest. Comfortable enough to doze off there in fact. When he realized this Alex had smirked, flipping off the movie and making his way upstairs to tuck the boy in.

Passing April in the hallway as he returned from Kyle's room, he crossed his arms, "He's down for the count. Piece of cake."

"Already?" his fiance had asked skeptically. "Didn't Izzie say he needed to have a bath and a story before-"

Alex waved his hands dismissively, "Whatever. Routines aren't all they're cracked up to be. He's tired. He is not gonna wake up."

April shrugged, skepticism clear in her eyes, "If you say so, Alex."

He'd beamed in pride as he and April spent the rest of the night together, sharing a glass of wine and watching some weird ass documentary on PBS about outer space and string cheese or something that April wanted to see. Alex swore she'd already forced him to watch before. Elegant bullshit. All the while, Kyle had gone down without a peep.

Around 11 o'clock they'd decided to call it a night and crawled into bed for what Alex had expected to be a decent night sleep. One of the most decent night's sleep he'd had in a while, because for the first time, his family was altogether under one roof.

That is until he found himself being jostled awake by April, and he could hear the sound of crying coming from down the hallway. Kyle was definitely awake. And screaming bloody murder.

"He's awake," April had yawned, sitting up in the bed, and pulling her tousled hair behind her ears.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Alex had snapped, as he stood up from the bed. He was freaking tired. He hated hearing a child of his cry. Always had and probably always would. And in that moment he had also terrified that the screaming meant that this whole shared custody thing wasn't going to work.

Scowling briefly at him, April had huffed as a sound of another crying boy reached their ears, "And that's Adam awake too...great."

Shaking his head at the memory, Alex lifted his gaze to Wyatt. "He woke up at about midnight, and I don't really think he ever really went down again, and actually slept until..."

"4:22," April finished his sentence. Wyatt and Alex both turned to her in surprise. "When you came back to bed, that's the time I saw."

"It was bad. I have to stay with him for hours," Alex agreed. "He did a lot better the next weekend."

Dr. Wyatt's eyes flicked up from her pad of paper, "What did you do differently?"

Alex pursed his lips and drummed his fingers against the edge of the couch. A lot of things really. The first weekend he'd gone into it with a false sense of security, and after the disastrous outcome of that kind of thinking, he'd decided to take a different approach. As much as it pained him to admit, Alex couldn't handle the whole transition on his own. His ex-wife was a part of things, and however unwillingly, April was too.

"Well," Alex said sheepishly. "I didn't try to do everything by myself. We talked. Worked together."

April smiled at him and nodded to Dr. Wyatt, "And story time and bath time happened. Routines really do make a difference."

Of course. Always with the routines. Alex rolled his eyes and even Dr. Wyatt chuckled. Ignoring them April continued, "Plus I think Kyle started to better understand what was going on. I mean, he knew that he would still get to go home again after the weekend."

"Yeah," Alex agreed, shifting against the messed up couch spring. "And...well...we also called Izzie..."

Wyatt's face registered no small amount of surprise, "Oh?"

It was something that Alex had kind of wanted to avoid the first time around. He didn't want his ex-wife (or his future one, for that matter) to think he couldn't handle things on his own. That he wasn't capable of caring and providing for the children he loved. And more than that, he never wanted to give Izzie the impression that he needed her. That sentiment he knew was irrational and fueled by his lingering resentment and anger at his ex for leaving him behind.

But Alex had come to realize that none of that mattered when it came to the knew arrangement with Kyle. The fact of the matter was, no matter how much he was pissed at Izzie on some level, she was always going to be Kyle's mom. And no matter how unwilling April and Adam had gotten dragged into this whole thing, they were always going to be a part of Alex's family too. And so from that second week on, Alex had tried to look at the bigger picture.

He, Izzie, and April were the adults in this whole thing. That was the reality of the situation. They all had some responsibility, and they all had a role to play. So, instead of Alex working alone to care for Kyle when he came down for the weekend, the three of them co-parented. And really, subsequent weekends with Kyle had been much easier as a result. Freaking A.

April beamed, "Yes, we did. It actually helps to have Kyle talk to her right before we get him ready for bed. I thought maybe he was so sad the first time because he missed her. Calling makes a difference."

"That way he can kind of tell his mom what he did during that day and whatever," Alex explained, shrugging. "I think it kind of helps her too. And everybody got more sleep. We're all in this together."

If he didn't know any better, he'd say Dr. Wyatt seemed impressed. It looked like a smile was pulling at the corners of her mouth. Alex smirked.

"That's a very healthy approach to take," she commented, making another mark on her noted. "Shows a lot of growth."

April held up her hand and Alex pressed his palm to hers in a wince inducing high five. Wyatt's lips really did curl into a smile then, as she continued, "So? How are the wedding plans coming along?"

Alex chuckled as his fiance clasped her hands together and started gushing about all the little plans they'd made for June already. The caterers, and flower arrangements and crap like that. He tuned it out. It was gonna be a small affair if Alex could at all help it, but he knew April lived for this sort of thing. Had probably been dreaming about since she was a kid and whatever. Chick stuff.

Maybe the details and color schemes and all that crap would matter more to Alex if he hadn't have done the whole ceremony thing already. He figured if he was ever gonna let himself get all excited it woulda been for his wedding to Izzie. Especially considering she'd been on deaths door at the time. But even then, like now, Alex only cared about the details in so much as they mattered to his bride to be.

April wanted to get married in a church? Sure, he was cool with that. She wanted to invite nurses and residents and whatever too? Okay fine. Half a state worth of 'extended family'? Bring it on.

Pretty much all Alex cared about was getting to make things official. They could have the ceremony under the I-5. Eat cereal for the reception. April could walk down the aisle wearing freaking pajamas for all Alex cared. He'd thought of her as his wife for a long time now, and she'd lived up to her end of things by sticking with him through a lot of screwed up crap. She loved him, and he loved her.

That was more important than anything any priest, piece of paper, or big ceremony could say.

"Really?" April gasped, batting Alex's knee and looking his direction wide eyed.

Dr. Wyatt nodded, "I think so."

Turning his head in confusion, Alex shifted on the couch again. It was pretty clear at this point that he really had missed something along the lines in the conversation. So much for zoning out. He made a face and tried to play along, nodding gingerly and trying not to act too surprised when April impulsively grabbed his hand and squeezed. Whatever it was he'd tuned out for was more important than just wedding talk. Crap.

"You've both come a very long way, and your progress really is commendable," Wyatt explained. "I think our work together has really made a difference."

"Oh, it has!" April agreed enthusiastically.

She nudged Alex, and he fumbled, "Uh, sure. Whatever."

It really had, actually. He'd never have guessed he would ever grow to kind of like a shrink but Wyatt had definitely helped them. The truth was, for all Wyatt had done for them, and as much as he trusted her personally, Alex still found that shrinks made him uncomfortable.

The therapist leaned forward and held out her hand shaking both Alex and April's hands in turn. Wincing Alex nodded and smiled awkwardly as his eyes darted between the two women in the room.

"Thank you so much, Dr. Wyatt!" April said. "We really appreciate everything you've taught us."

"Well done both of you," the therapist said smiling. "I'd like to have a check in after you've been married about a year, but other than that I would say our work here has run it's course. Remember that I am always here when you need me. I expect an invitation to the wedding."

"Of course!" April agreed.

Alex blinked, "Wait, what?"

Wyatt was there when they needed, did that mean...that they really didn't need her anymore? The surprise must have shown on his face because the stern expressioned psychologist grinned and rolled her eyes fondly.

"That sorry to say goodbye, Alex? Or that embarrassed to have me at your wedding?"

"No, I just-You're sure?" he asked cautiously. "You're sure we're ready..."

Dr. Wyatt smiled and closed the notebook in her lap, turning to place it on a stack of folders on her desk, "I think you are prepared to handle a lot. You have handled a lot. You're definitely ready for this new phase of your lives."

Alex exhaled, and smiled, watching April out of the corner of his eye. He'd never been one to place much trust on the official. Authority was not his friend. But somehow knowing that a certified shrink thought he wasn't too much of a freak to get married made Alex feel like he could really do it.

Meredith knew she'd had to do it. Alex would have had a fit otherwise. And Derek would have given her one of those looks, one of those "you know better looks" and April would have too. Cristina would have said she was chicken. Richard would have told her he was disappointed.

So there wasn't really a choice. Meredith had to invite Kyle to Zola's 4th birthday party. There was been no getting around it.

The real crux of Meredith's reluctance had nothing to do with Kyle at all. It was his mother.

Kyle had spent Friday and Saturday night at Alex and April's place, and would be going home to Tacoma after the party. But both April and Alex were stuck working at the hospital. Meredith was, in fact, going to watch Adam overnight for them. They would not be driving the older boy home to Tacoma. Why the hell did Hunt have to schedule them both to work? Izzie was going to pick her son up from Zola's party. Inviting Kyle meant there was no getting around dealing with his mother.

And in the end, that was what Meredith had been afraid of all along. She'd never had a problem with Kyle. It was his mother that Meredith still hadn't quite come to terms with.

Though, so far, Meredith conceded looking around at the assembled toddlers of Zola's party group, she could say that things were going very well indeed. It was already late afternoon and throughout the party Kyle Stevens fit in quite nicely with Zola's group of little friends.

They'd kept the festivities small, and only needed Derek, Cristina, Mark and Callie to help chaperone Only Sofia, Nicholas from daycare, her sister Molly's daughter Laura, Kyle, and Adam were in attendance, and given Zola's choice of party venues, this was a very good thing. She'd wanted to have her party at Hello Cupcake, a venue in downtown Seattle, that allowed the children to bake and decorate their own cupcakes.

Currently, while the adults looked on in amusement as all the children were crammed into the bakery's brightly painted party room, covered in equally bright messes of frosting as they added the final touches to their respective cupcakes. Meredith looked on fondly at the group surrounding her daughter.

They were each given special junior baker aprons with the store's logo's on the front, though now it was barely visible on any of the children's chests. Laura, being older and more sensible than her young cousin and her friends, was far cleaner than anyone else at the table. Zola's was a fiery looking mess of orange frosting, and red sprinkles on top of a dark chocolate cupcake. Sofia had opted for a pink and white frosting covered vanilla treat.

The boy's flavor and color combinations seemed to be less coordinated. Nicholas had chosen a frosting color called "alien green" supplemented by jellybean decorations, while Kyle seemed content with colors he associated with "wace car" so his chocolate cupcake had generous assortments of red, blue, and white frosting.

Adam was too young to really participate in the way that the older children had, so he was set up with a mini cupcake in a high chair near the adults. He seemed content enough to watch the older kids, and with mashing up (and eating) the cupcake with his hands. All the while babbling up a storm to no one in particular. Adam couldn't actually say much, but damned if he didn't talk a lot.

Bless the baker, Yolanda, who ran the party and kept everything on track. Working with a bunch of over excited toddlers on sugar highs day after day could not be an easy job. Yet, the woman was fun, pleasant and knew how to make Zola feel special without making the other kids feel excluded. Meredith could hardly ask for more.

The party was almost over, and it was clear that the little kids were all getting a bit impatient. Presents had been opened, they'd all had fun playing with the dough and waiting for the cakes to back. Meredith was actually surprised that a baking birthday had seemed to be pretty fun for them all. However, it was clear that patience was running thin.

"Can we eat the cupcakes, yet?" Sofia asked staring at her finished baked good with sad eyes. "Pwease?

"Hold on just a minute Sofiarita," Mark replied gently, patting his little girl on the shoulder. "We just want to wait a minute until everybody is finished making their cupcake pretty. And don't you want to wait and take a picture for Mama to see?"

Nicholas and Zola both swallowed nervously, and glanced at each other, with a tell tale smear of frosting and crumbs on their cheeks. Clearly not everyone could be that patient. Sofia pouted but refrained from eating her cupcake. She shot an unhappy glare at Kyle because he was the only one who hadn't really finished decorating. He was younger, and also slightly hindered by the half cast that covered his arm from the accident. Laura, having long since finished actively decorating her own cupcake, sighed and rested her head on one fist, watching the younger children with an expression of boredom.

"What's the point of taking a picture?" Cristina whispered. "A cupcake is a cupcake. It's not like we're making great works of art here..."

"Shh!" Meredith chastised.

Her best friend shrugged, "I'm just saying, Mer."

Her husband shook his head, "We need a picture."

Derek smirked and exchanged a look with Cristina that his wife did not miss. It was time to wrap things up. The figurative party gas tanks were running low. Across all age groups.

Meredith intervened, checking her watch as she spied her younger half sister Molly approaching the front door, "It's fine, Mark. I think we should probably get pictures now before the works of art all disappear into people's tummies."

As Callie, Mark, Cristina, and Meredith organized the children, Derek dutifully went around and photographed each child and their cupcake, along with a few group shots. With the arrival of Molly Thompson, Laura was the first child to trickle from the party. Soon, Nicholas's father arrived to take him home, and not long after that Callie and Mark left with Sofia, taking a tiny cupcake box with them.

"This guy's got cupcake in his hair," Derek said, lifting Adam from his high chair and making a face. Adam only cooed and reached a shaky hand to Derek's chin. "And he needs a change."

Kyle scowled, pointing and watching closely as the dark haired man carried the baby to the restrooms, "Brubah!"

"He was my God brother first!" Zola added, eyeing Kyle suspiciously.

"Daddy is just cleaning him up, Zozo. No need to fight," Meredith chuckled at the odd rivalry that had sprung up between the two children as she leaned forward and cleaned their hands and faces with a wet wipe. Both her daughter and Kyle Stevens were very protective of Adam Karev. It was kind of funny.

"I know," Zola said quietly. "I just saying...him was mine first."

"Mine!" Kyle pouted.

"Don't get bent out of shape, you two," Meredith said, regarding her daughter seriously and changing the subject. "So did you have a good birthday? Was this fun?"

Her daughter beamed and clapped happily, "Yes! I like baking."

Kyle grinned and pointed proudly to his wildly colorful creation, "Cake!"

Meredith was in the middle of cleaning Kyle's hands, which she noted were shockingly tiny versions of his fathers, when the boy scrambled out of his chair and bolted for the door, despite his still healing injuries.

"Mommy!" Kyle shouted, wrapping his arms around the figure in the doorway and clinging on for dear life.

"Hi there, little man," Izzie said, bending forward and lifting him to her hip. He buried his face in her neck and started to bawl as his mother smiled awkwardly.

Zola looked up at her mother in concern, and Meredith squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. She knew that spending weekends away from his mother was hard for Kyle, even though he did have a lot of fun with his father. Alex had gotten a bit discouraged when the boy had spent most of his first weekend in Seattle crying and tantruming for his mother. Things had gotten a bit better, but Meredith could imagine that it was still difficult.

"Sorry," Izzie offered, apologetically, as the crying continued. "I guess he's ready to go..."

"Yeah," Meredith swallowed and looked down at her hands, very acutely aware of the tension that still existed between them. It felt like everyone else had cautiously gotten back on board with Izzie being around again, albeit in a limited way. Bailey and Webber, her own husband, and even Cristina had at least managed to move to a place where they could easily hold a small conversation with the blonde woman. Meredith didn't think they found themselves at a loss for common ground the same way she did.

As if to illustrate that very point, Derek emerged from the bathroom carrying Adam and greeting Izzie with such ease that Meredith could almost roll her eyes, "Hey! You're here. How was the traffic?"

Izzie rubbed Kyle's back soothingly and replied, "A bit tight getting into the city actually, but not too bad."

Derek nodded, and he and Izzie started making small talk about a freaking freeway construction project. Like talking was easy as all that. Meredith began gathering up Kyle's backpack and small duffle bag.

"Zola," Derek continued. "Can you say thank you to Kyle's mommy for the princess dress up clothes?"

The girl's face lit up, and she pointed to Izzie, "You gave me those?"

Izzie was someone who Zola was still very unfamiliar with. Meredith had explained to her that Alex had another son, but that Kyle had a different mommy than Adam, and that her name was Izzie. Zola's best and most amusing attempt to understanding the whole situation with Alex, April, and Izzie was to relate it to what she knew, which was the situation between Mark, Arizona, and Callie. Not right at all, obviously, but her comment had made Derek laugh. Meredith corrected Zola and told her husband to keep his mouth shut about Zola's comments because it would make Alex uncomfortable. And pissed.

Once it was clarified that Kyle's familty situation was yet another 'different shape' of family, a shape all it's own and completely independent of Sofia's, Zola seemed content. The girl knew only the most basic information and hadn't thus far picked up on the awkwardness between her mother and Izzie. It was probably for the best.

"Thank you!" Zola grinned.

The blond smiled, continuing to rub her son's back, "You're welcome Zola. I'm glad you liked them. It was nice to shop for a girl for once."

"Cuz girl stuff is better," Zola nodded, matter of factly, making her parents laugh.

"Too true. She is just a doll," Izzie laughed.

Zola's hands flew to her hips, "No I not! I'm a human being!"

Meredith giggled and Derek shook his head, saying, "We know you are, Zozo, that's just and expression. Thank you."

Izzie shifted, trying to lower her son to the floor so she could grab his things, but Kyle whined and clung even tighter. He wanted to no part in walking by himself. His tears, which had died down to sniffles, started up again.

"Here," Meredith said, surprising herself, and walking with the bags toward the door. "Let me help you carry his stuff to the car."

"Thank you," Izzie sighed gratefully stepping outside with Meredith on her heels.

Both women walked in silence, reaching Izzie's Honda, and beginning to load Kyle and his things in as the boy rubbed at his snotty nose and mumbled, "Home. Want home."

Meredith felt bad for the boy, but she supposed it was just a by product of the situation. Throughout the party, Kyle had given no indication that he was unhappy or homesick. He'd laughed and smiled along with everyone else. Perhaps it just all came to him in a rush. Watching as Izzie buckled the child into his car seat, she shrugged.

"He had a lot of fun, I swear," Meredith joked, gingerly handing Izzie the boy's boxed cupcake. "We have photographic evidence."

Her old friend chuckled and shook her head fondly, "Oh, I'm sure he did. He always gets like this when I pick him up."

"It's hard on him..."

"Yeah, but I guarantee you that as soon as we get home he'll be sulking and asking when he can see his brother again," Izzie continued knowingly. "It's kind of become his MO."

Despite everything the corners of Meredith's lips curled at the soft look that crossed Izzie's features as she spoke about her son, "He...he really took to Adam, didn't he?"

Beaming with fondness, Izzie smiled, "He did, yeah. It's actually...I mean, I wasn't exactly happy about all of this, but I will say...Kyle getting a brother has been a pretty good outcome. He really enjoys it. We'll see how long that lasts...all that stuff you hear about sibling rivalry..."

"I know," Meredith replied, thinking of Derek's childhood stories of constant bickering with his sisters, Alex's issues with Aaron and Amber, and her own experiences as an adult with Lexie and Molly. "I suppose it might help that they don't live together."

"True."

Shutting the backseat of her car, Izzie turned to face Meredith with a smile still on her face. Their gazes met and the expression fell a little bit as the blonde shoved her hands in her pockets. Meredith sighed. Where conversation once slowed easily between them, now only silence. There was a lot of stuff lingering beneath the surface. Resentment, sadness. A little anger. It was still awkward between them. And maybe it always would be.

But, as Meredith's eyes flicked over Izzie's shoulder to the view of Kyle through the car window, she realized that maybe that didn't matter so much. Their friendship would never be the same again. That was a fact. And perhaps it was that very fact that Meredith was really angry over. She knew they couldn't go back, and she resented the loss. But that didn't have to be a viewed as a bad thing.

Today, no matter what had gone down in between, she and Izzie weren't so different.

"I..." Meredith fumbled, uncertain how to convey her sudden revelation. "I am glad you let him come to the party. And thank you so much again for Zola's gift."

Izzie nodded, and turned to get into her car, "Not a problem."

They stood in silence again for a moment when Meredith blurted, "You're happy, aren't you?"

"I'm sorry?" her old friend was clearly confused.

Meredith winced, scratching the back of her head. She had no idea what she was saying, "With your life, I mean, car crashes not withstanding. Otherwise the way everything has turned out in Tacoma. Your job, Kyle and everything. You figured out how to be happy without Alex. Without everyone at the hospital. Without..."

"Without you?"

Meredith opened her mouth to reply and paused. Maybe. She realized that at least part of the hurt came from knowing that not only had Izzie left, despite her own heart felt plea for her former roommate to stay, but also that it seemed Izzie didn't really need their friendship. She'd never called or returned. It was painful enough that she left Alex after everything Meredith knew they'd been through together. It only added insult to injury to know that she had been well and truly left behind too.

She'd never thought about it like that, "I guess so..."

Izzie sighed and looked to the skies, leaning back against her car door, "I could say the same thing about you. All of you. I mean, you adopted a baby. Everyone survived these big tragic events together. Alex is like...he's really happy now...he's the guy I thought he always could be. And I am glad. It's just, you all figured out how to go on without me too. For better or for worse."

Meredith blinked, "I suppose that's right."

"It-" Izzie took a deep breath. "It doesn't mean I didn't miss you. It doesn't mean that I don't...miss you."

Meredith gasped. Izzie seemed shocked by the small admission, quickly shaking her head and turning to her car. The fact that her friend had left wounded Meredith in part because of the way Izzie had done it. She'd vanished, and without missing anyone or looking back. A card her and there was nothing. It never occurred to Meredith that not maintaining contact could mean anything else. But maybe it did. Hearing Izzie's words now made some of Meredith's anger fade away.

"Wait..." she tentatively rested her hand on Izzie's shoulder to stop her movements. "I..."

Meredith realized missed Izzie too. She had all along.

"Maybe...I can't actually remember the last time I went to Tacoma actually."

"Oh no?"

"No, and I don't think Zola has ever been down. Maybe we could get together down there sometime? Catch up a bit. Let the kids play? Kyle and Zola really did have a fun time."

"I'd like that."

Izzie smiled. A real genuine smile. The kind Meredith had seen many times in her residency in the tunnels or Seattle Grace, in the cafeteria over lunch giggling with George, and in her own kitchen over a batch of cookies. It was the kind of smile Meredith hadn't seen in a long time and she offered a grin of her own.

"Okay...well. I'll check my schedule. Let you know?"

Opening her car door and sliding into the driver's seat, Izzie agreed, "Sounds good. I will too. Talk to you soon."

Meredith nodded in reply as Izzie revved the car engine. She waved as the silver car sped off, suddenly feeling lighter. All her fears about letting Kyle Stevens attend Zola's party had been wrong. No disasters. No shouting matches. Only a little awkwardness. It was certainly a place to begin.

Whatever happened in the past, Meredith had to admit that they really had all ended up relatively happy in the end. Her and Cristina and Alex and Izzie. And just because they'd been happy in separate for a while, didn't mean they couldn't be happy as friends again. Someday. Meredith relized she just needed to let go of the old days. Good things come in time.

The dressing room in the bridal shop was completely padded and all white, somewhat disturbingly reminding April of the psych ward at Seattle Grace. Then again anyone bride to be who could honestly say that she enjoyed dress shopping, indeed any bride to be who said she found it to be anything less than a demeaning and deeply uncomfortable experience was freaking crazy in April's opinion at this very moment. They belonged in the damn psych ward.

Gingerly standing up and examining herself in the mirror April sighed. Maybe she was just channeling Alex. She really and truly had been enjoying herself when they first got to the bridal shop. Walking around, picking the dresses and everything. That had been fun. More than fun. A childhood dream fulfilled.

April turned to get a view of the back of the dress and train, wincing at the dull ache in her right knee. The shopping trip had been a dream come true until she'd started to try the garments on. That's when her whole body reminded April that, in fact, this was no dream. She'd never look like the bride she'd pictured in all her day dreams of the farm. She'd never glide effortlessly down the aisle on her father's arm without a limp.

Three years on, April's mobility have improved by leaps and bounds. She could tackle stairs with ease. Muster a fairly rapid loping jog in the ER. Chase after Adam as he crawled and toddled. She knew that the fact that she was even walking at all was nothing short of miraculous and all thanks to Alex's excellent trauma care during the earthquake. But April was also painfully aware that, even with the passage of time and the continued thoughtful care of Callie Torres, this was probably as good as her bad leg was ever going to get.

Most of the time April felt blessed. She didn't mope. But most of the dresses for sale seemed to be destined for women who could easily and safely wear high heels. They were cut for people who didn't have a huge incision scars marking an angry red trail down pale skinned cleavage. April hadn't worn high heels since Christmas 2011. And even before the earthquake she'd never been one for overly low cut anything. Certainly not after.

Certainly nothing naked from the shoulders up. It was too much. It showed too much. The bride and groom were the center of attention on their wedding day. People would be looking at her.

Tracing one finger along the top edge of her scar, April frowned. She really knew she shouldn't let a few imperfections get her down, but it didn't help the feeling from creeping in.

This was the perfect dress. Once, April would have considered this dress to be the perfect fit. But now she was afraid she didn't fit. Every girl dreams of a perfect wedding day. You just never think you will be the root of imperfection. Luckily, Alex could always make her feel like a million bucks, and she had no doubts that he would on the big day.

How on earth Alex put up with sleeping with someone who liked as Frankenstein-like as she did, April sometimes couldn't understand. Well, on positive days she could, she supposed. On days she felt confident.

Today wasn't that day.

The sounds of women's voices reached her ears from out side the dressing room.

First Cristina, "Kepner, get a move on! Let's see it! Some of us haven't got all day. You get stuck on a zipper or something?"

Then Meredith, "Cristina!"

Then her mother's gentle plea, "Ladybug? Can we see this one on you?"

Flushing at Karen Kepner's use of her childhood nickname, April turned around and joined her odd little bridal party who sat in a waiting area near the dressing rooms. None of her sisters had been able to make it, Lexie was still living in Portland until the end of May, and Amber was stuck cramming for finals. So, she'd ended up going dress shopping with an unlikely group indeed; Meredith, Cristina and her mother.

"Mom!" April groaned as she joined the other women, embarrassed at the endearment.

"Oh, April," her mother tutted, stepping closer to her and begging to fuss with the fabric of the dress. "You'll always be my ladybug."

Meredith sat cross legged on another white plush square of softness laughing next to Cristina. The cardio surgeon held a hand to her mouth suppressing giggles.

"Yeah April," the dark haired woman agreed. "There are worse bugs to be compared to."

"Termite," Meredith supplied.

Cristina pressed on, "Centipede."

"Horsefly."

April was mildly surprised when her mother laughed along with her friends and added, "Botfly."

"Good one Mama K!" Cristina looked impressed.

"I've seen enough of them on the farm over the years," Karen waved off the compliment with a broad smile, and gestured for April to turn. "Let me see the back now, April."

Shaking her head she did as she was told. To be honest, April had had no idea what her mother would think of Meredith and Cristina. She thought they'd probably think her mom was dowdy, annoying with too high pitched a voice. But the three of them seemed to strangely have hit it off. They were enjoying each others company. Which made April's insecurity that much more awkward.

"Your mom's alright, Kepner," Cristina said, picking up a discarded bridal magazine and idly flipping through it. "At least she didn't take your eyebrows."

"Wha-?" April tried to spin around. That really didn't make sense. She made eye contact with Meredith her only made a small slashing gesture with her hand and shook her head. Twisted sister speak for don't ask.

"This one really looks beautiful on you," Karen said mistily looking into April's eyes and cupping her cheeks. "I think it's a definite top of the list. It shows of your figure so well."

"It is very nice, April," Meredith concurred.

"This dress looks hot," Cristina commented. "Alex will dig it."

"And the off white is very nice on her, " her mother continued. April rolled her eyes knowing the comments that would follow.

Sure enough, Meredith quipped, "Who needs to stick to tradition anyway? Virgin white is over rated."

She shot a glare over her shoulder as her mother continued to fuss with the dress, now examining the garments long train.

"Considering you already have little spawn," Cristina reasoned. "Your dress should be off white."

April allowed her scowl to intensify.

"What? You're mom isn't dumb; she's been around. She knows Adam didn't fall from the sky... "

"Stop making jokes about it!" April hissed. She knew that having a child before marriage was practically unheard of back home, at least among her family. And while she'd come to terms with all of it long ago, and her family supported her, April wasn't sure how her mother would react to the subject being joked about so freely.

"God has his own plans," Karen mused tucking a lose strand of graying auburn hair behind her ears. "He doesn't always work along man made timelines. Adam came into this world when he was supposed to."

For some reason that comment hit April right in the heart and made her chest swell. she really did love her mom. Her emotions distracted he momentarily as all three of the other women continued to examine the dress. None of them seemed to notice the way the hems didn't line up quite right since she was wearing flats, or the way that the cloth dipped in the front revealing her chest scar.

April let her gaze drift to the large mirror in front of her and smiled slightly. The dress really was amazing, and she could picture just how her old self would have worn this dress. She'd let her hair down, curled with her curling iron. And she'd wear those awesome pearl white stilettos she'd splurged on once downtown while on an impromptu shopping spree with Reed. If only...

"I can't wear a dress like this," April blurted out suddenly, surprising all the women around her.

"You like another one better?" Meredith asked kindly.

"No...it's just," Ducking her head, April ran her finger tip scar. "I can't wear this."

No one missed her gesture. Meredith squeezed her shoulder sympathetically and her mother pulled her in for a quick hug, "Oh, Ladybug. But you look so beautiful."

"It can be covered up," the neuro surgeon said earnestly. "Make up can cover scars. Hire some professionals?"

Karen nodded quickly, "We can ask Diego."

April and Meredith both raised their eyebrows. Go ask the brother in law for make advice?

Her mother shrugged, "He's on the news, he's always saying they put a lot on news anchors..."

Swallowing hard, April shook her head, unconvinced. Nothing would cover this up. "I can't-"

Cristina however, crossed her arms and huffed, "I made an excellent incision. If Altman had let a lesser resident lay a hand on you, you'd have a scar twice as bad."

"Cristina-" Meredith tried to stop her friend as the cardio surgeon moved to stand by April's side.

She draped an arm around April's shoulders, "Get a grip Kepner. You like this dress. We can tell. And you can wear this freaking dress."

"But people will see-"

"People will see what?" Cristina countered. "People will see your scars? What do you supposed they are going to say? 'Oh damn, look at all those scars?' You shouldn't invite people like that to your wedding."

"I-" April stammered.

Meredith and her mother seemed taken aback, as Cristina leaned close to April's ear, "Do you know what people really see when they look at your scars, April?"

Shrugging, April could only mumble, "No."

She only knew what she saw. And what she was afraid everyone else would see.

"They see a survivor. They see someone who went to hell and back and made it through. You could easily have died. I've treated patients with injuries less severe than yours who have died. The scars prove it happened, but that you didn't die...that's how people will see them. That's how you should too."

"Really?"

Blinking in shock, April turned to look Cristina in the eye, slack jawed. She couldn't remember a time when Dr. Cristina Yang had ever ever said anything this nice to her. Cristina was usually the first to tease April in fact. She considered the Asian woman to be a friend, and certainly cared about her because of her importance to Alex and Meredith, but April had never really been sure where she stood with Cristina. This made her think that her sarcastic friend might really like her after all. Cristina didn't say things she didn't mean.

Meredith and her mother exchanged a pride filled glance as Cristina continued, "Sure. Plus, most importantly...when Alex sees you, he's gonna wish time moved faster so he could move on from the ceremony to the part where the two of you do the hippidy dippity in the back of the limo on the way to your honeymoon."

"Cristina!" April gasped in horror as she watched Karen's cheeks burn red.

Meredith crossed her arms and shook her head, watching her old friend fondly, "She's right you know. It might not happen, but Alex will totally be thinking about it."

April squeezed her mother's hand apologetically. She knew what they were saying as true. About Alex. About everyone else. She could almost down, April ran her hand along the dresses smooth fabric. She wanted to believe. She wanted to believe that none of it really did matter.

"You can wear this freaking dress," Cristina repeated nodding to the others.

"You really can," Meredith agreed.

"You can, Ladybug," Karen kissed April's cheek. "No one would be able to say you were anything less than stunning if you did. And really, the only people who's opinions should matter to you on the day are Alex's and your own."

April looked back to he reflection in the mirror thoughtfully, for the first time imagining, the dress at a wedding. Not in the context of her perfect dream, and no in the context of her old self. No, this time she looked in the mirror and pictured walking down the aisle in comfortable matching flats. She could still curl her hair. She could see it now. The glowly dreamlike quality of her imagination faded, replaced by the more solid colors of reality. Adam would be there. Her sisters. Her father. People she loved and cared for. They would never judge her by how she looked.

In that moment, April realized, she could wear this dress. So long as Alex was the person waiting for her at the end of the aisle, and she knew he would be, April knew that she could handle anything. What could possibly be worse than getting fired? Or nearly getting shot in a hospital shooting? Nothing could possibly be worse than getting crushed by a collapsing building in an earth quake. April survived that.

She'd survive her wedding too. And she would have fun. Because that was life really. Surviving stuff and having the best time you could with the person you loved along the way. April knew she was lucky to have Alex to take journey with, and the she suddenly felt lighter.

April could wear the dress.