I'm sorry it took me forever and a day to put this online. My life is a mess right now. I can't make any promises when I'll upload the next chapter, but I am working on it.

I'm behind on review replies, but I'm gonna start again from this chapter, so fire all your questions away!

I hope you're all still here, and I hope you like this chapter.

x

CH 4

Blaine was tossing and turning on the couch, trying to get comfortable, or maybe just trying to calm down, because the couch itself was pretty comfortable. The problem was that his mind wouldn't stop reeling. He's here, in Kurt's house, and his daughter is probably about twenty feet away from him, and he has no fucking clue what to do. It would be so easy to get up in the morning and just see her, get to know her. He can totally be a fun uncle, right? Only, that's not what he wants. He doesn't want to be an uncle to his own daughter. That's still how he sees her, as his daughter. It doesn't matter that he gave her up for adoption; she's his. His blood. A piece of paper doesn't change that. He'd tried to talk to Rachel about it once, but she didn't seem to feel the same way.

He turned on his back and stares at the ceiling. He wants to know her, if he's honest with himself. He does, but he's afraid he wants to know her too badly. He gave her up, after all, so he doesn't have any right to be her father. He signed that right away almost 8 years ago. He should have been persistent with his wishes. He wanted a more open adoption, to at least know how his daughter was doing, but Rachel and his mom wouldn't listen. He considered himself lucky Kurt had written him all those letters. Speaking of which, he still had a handful of them he hadn't read before, the ones his mom had kept hidden. He jumped off the couch and walked to the bag standing in the corner, rummaging through it until he found the leather binder he used to keep them all safe. He had shoved the new ones in earlier, eager to get away from his mom, so he unloaded them all now to sort through them properly.

January 2012

Dear Blaine,

My name is Kurt, and I'm the adoptive father of your baby girl, together with my husband, Chandler. I don't know if they told you we were a same-sex couple. I hope they did, and if not, I hope you're okay with it.

Thank you for giving us our daughter. We named her Emma. I hope you like it.

Emma's doing great so far. She's a real fighter. The doctor's just told us we can take her home in a few days. I do hope she likes her room. I didn't want to be to stereotypical, so I painted it in a soft green. There are all kinds of animal stickers on the wall. I'll send you a picture once she gets home, so you can see how happy she is in it.

She's six weeks old now, and she started to recognize my voice. I sing a lot to her, and lately she's started to turn her head in my direction whenever I do it. She seems to like Broadway classics the best.

I'm so glad I get to hold her now. The first few weeks we couldn't hold her, because her back had to heal. Trust me, the first time I held her in my hands, I cried. It was magical.

By the way, if you think I'll ever suffocate my daughter's beautiful curls with that hair-killing substance you have another think coming. Moderation is the key, and mousse for curly hair. Gel, the horror. Now I imagine you as one of those horrible greasers of the fifties with a coif a la Danny, from "Grease".

I think I should end my letter with this, before you think I'm a crazy psychopath. I'll write to you, but I can't promise how often. I will keep you in the loop though. I understand you're worried. I would be too.

Kind regards, Kurt.

Blaine frowned as he reread the first letter Kurt wrote to him years ago. He never noticed before, but except for the first two paragraphs, he never mentioned Chandler. It was always 'I'; never 'we'. It made him wonder. He scanned the next few letters, but it was the same. The first few contained a 'we' here and there, but after that it was always just Kurt. He wondered exactly why their marriage had ended, and if it had anything to do with Emma.

He grabbed one of the newer letters and opened it, curious to see what was in it.

Dear Blaine,

Emma started first grade last week. I was so afraid. Children can be horribly cruel. It all turned out okay, though. Luckily some friends from kindergarten started in the same class. My dad says I worry too much, but I guess that's my job, right?

She's learning to read at school. It's weird to see how quickly she learns. Well, they all do, probably, but it's still weird to see her do it. Soon she'll be reading me bedtime stories instead of the other way around.

She's also started taking singing lessons a month or two ago. I guess she got tired of hearing my voice all the time, and decided she needed to outshine me. Let me tell you, she does not need lessons for that. She has a voice with a capital V. One of these days I'll try to record it and send you a sample. She owns the stage; she really does. I guess I'll be hearing a lot more Top 40 songs from now on, although she does appreciate the classics. (We watched "The Sound Of Music" for the umpteenth time last night.)

Tomorrow Jamie is coming over for a playdate. She's just known her for a week, but they're already inseparable, according to the teacher. I'm glad she has friends like that, and I hope they stick with her. I know I worry too much, but I can't help it. I'm planning to let them help me make pizzas. The kitchen will be a mess, but I'm sure it'll be worth it. I'll try to remember to send you a picture of her creation next time.

Kind regards, Kurt.

Blaine smiled as he opened the next letter and saw indeed a picture of Emma and another girl, both covered in flour, but with proud matching grins on their faces as they showed a pizza to the camera, and another one with Emma playfully feeding Kurt a piece of her pizza. Blaine frowned. It was the first picture Kurt had sent of himself, and Blaine had never seen it until now. Kurt looked… happy… gorgeous even. He shook his head- this was not the time to start thinking about stuff like that- and put the pictures back in the envelope. He'd read the rest of them tomorrow. He really should get some rest.

…

"Blaine?" Kurt came into the kitchen, surprised to find Blaine at the stove. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, hey Kurt," Blaine turned around to shoot Kurt a lopsided smile before focusing his attention back to the task at hand. "I couldn't sleep, so I figured I'd cook you guys some breakfast."

"Ah." Kurt observed Blaine as he grabbed the pot of coffee and poured himself a generous cup. It had been a while since someone cooked him breakfast, and he had to admit, it felt good, almost domestic, and it was not like Blaine was a bad sight to look at. Even with his hair sticking out at various angles and his sweatpants low on his hips, showing that little bit of skin before his shirt began. Not a bad sight at all. He sat down at the table, already put ready for breakfast, and took a sip. "It's good."

"Thanks," Blaine answered. "I do love my coffee in the morning."

"What are you making?"

"French toast and scrambled eggs," Blaine turned around to put the pan of scrambled eggs on the table. "I raided your fridge; I hope that's okay."

"Hey, you're planning to give my daughter a kidney; you could take my fridge home with you for all I care."

Blaine laughed and refilled his own cup before joining Kurt at the table. "I, uhm… I want to meet her, if that's still okay?" he asked, a little unsure.

Kurt nodded. "I figured as much. I thought about it." He saw Blaine panicking. "About how we're going to do this," he quickly added. "I don't mind that you meet her, but I think we should lay down some ground rules."

"Yeah, sounds reasonable," Blaine agreed.

"Right, so I don't want to tell her who you are, not right away, at least. I want to tell her you're an old friend of mine who's crashing on the couch for a while because he needs a place to stay."

Blaine nodded.

"Now, she's smart, and God, you look an awful lot like her, so she might suspect something, but if she asks questions, I'd love it if you could let me do the explaining. If there's anything I can't explain, or I don't know, I promise I'll ask you, and I won't make anything up, but she's my daughter, and it's my responsibility to explain things, okay?" Kurt took a deep breath, preparing himself mentally for the next thing he was about to say. "That brings me to a second thing, she is my daughter. I know biologically she's yours, and I don't mind that you get to know her, but she's my daughter. I raised her, I fed her, I changed her diapers, I care for her when she's sick… I just, I don't want you to get a wrong idea, okay?"

"I, Yeah, of course," Blaine answered. "I get it. It's not like have any legal rights anyway. You make the rules here, Kurt, I understand that."

Kurt nodded. "Good, I just… I'm setting myself up for a whole lot of possible pain here, and I… Well I want to be clear with you." He exhaled loudly, glad to have that off his chest.

"What about the obvious?" Blaine asked. "Do you tell her about the reason I'm here? Or not until the doctor approved me as a donor?"

"I think we should be honest, we should tell her," Kurt said, decisive.

"Okay," Blaine breathed deeply. "Okay, we tell her."

"You tell me what?"

Both men jumped slightly at the voice that suddenly interrupted them. Blaine gasped as he saw the young girl: hazel eyes, a bunch of black curls, and staring at them with a slightly confused, but curious look on her face.

"Emma, hey, you're out of the bathroom quickly," Kurt said, his voice higher than usual. "Did you brush your teeth?"

"I do that after breakfast, Papa, remember?" she said, rolling her eyes.

"Hmm, right," Kurt nodded. "So, come, eat. Blaine made us breakfast."

"And who is Blaine?" she repeated her questions as she rolled to the table and grabbed the juice box Blaine had placed on the table for her. "Is he your boyfriend?"

Blaine nearly choked on his coffee at that comment. He had definitely not seen that coming.

"No, Sweetie, no," Kurt shook his head. "No, Blaine is an old friend of mine."

"Oh?" she raised her eyes as Kurt scooped up some scrambled eggs and put them on her plate alongside a piece of toast.

"Yes," Kurt continued. "Blaine is here because… well, because of you, actually. We're going to see if he's a viable donor for you."

Emma's eyes widened and she looked at Blaine curiously. "Really?"

Blaine smiled and nodded. "Really."

"But, why?"

Blaine opened his mouth to reply but closed it again quickly. That was a good question. One that he couldn't answer with 'because I'm your biological father and even though I gave you up for adoption I still love you very much', so he looked at Kurt helplessly.

"Because he and I are friends, and he wants to help you," Kurt supplied.

"But, he doesn't know me," she replied before turning to Blaine. "I don't know you. Why do you want to give me a kidney?"

"I don't know you, but I know your papa, and he's told me a whole lot about you," Blaine explained. "So I feel like I know you a little bit through him. I know you're a lovely young girl, and I know you deserve a life as healthy as possible, and I want to help you with that."

She frowned as she took a bite from her toast. "Why are you in your pajamas?"

"Well, Blaine lives in New York," Kurt supplied. "So he's crashing on the couch for the time."

Emma looked thoughtful as she took another bite. "So what do you do?"

Kurt smiled at this, knowing this was his daughter accepting Blaine, accepting that he was now in her life, for however long it turned out to be. She was curious, so he expected a load of questions to follow after this one.

"Well…" Blaine started to smile broadly. "I'm kind of an actor."

"Kind of?" Kurt raised an eyebrow, intrigued by his answer.

Blaine hummed. "I'm still working my way up. I'm mostly doing theatre."

"Papa and I love plays!" Emma chirped. "We go to them all of the time."

"You do?" Blaine asked. "What's your favorite?"

"Hmm," she thought deeply. "Probably The Sound Of Music. Papa sings Edelweiss the best, but my favorite is My Favorite Things!"

Kurt chuckled. "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens."

"Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens," Emma half-sung, half-shouted, back.

"Brown paper packages tied up with strings! These are few of my favorite things," Blaine sang perfectly in tune.

Emma's eyes lit up as she heard Blaine sing her favorite song and Kurt looked rather impressed at Blaine's perfect pitch. "Not bad," he complimented as Blaine finished the first verse.

Blaine grinned and blushed lightly. "The Sound of Music is great. It's a classic."

"So what are you playing now?" Emma asked.

"I… uhm, nothing major," Blaine ducked his head and rubbed the side of his neck. "I played the alternate for Sky in Mamma Mia."

"Oh, I love that movie," Kurt said. "Meryl Streep is an icon! Where are you playing, anywhere I would know?"

"The… uhm… the Winter Garden Theatre."

Kurt's eyes widened and he almost choked on his coffee. "You're an alternate on Broadway?"

Blaine hummed and sipped on his own coffee.

"Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed. "That's, wow… that's huge!"

"What's a broadway?" Emma asked, curiously looking between her father and Blaine.

"It's…" Kurt pondered for a moment. "It's what they call the best theatres in New York City."

"Oh," Emma nodded as she finished her toast. "All done!"

"That's great, Sweetie, now go brush your teeth so I can drop you off at school."

Emma nodded and wheeled away as Kurt turned his attention back to Blaine. "Broadway, really?"

Blaine shrugged in response. "I'm only the alternate."

"It's still Broadway. How often have you played the role?"

"15 times so far," Blaine smiled. "I've only been the alternate for 2 months now, but I really like it."

"I bet you do. Gosh, Blaine, Broadway. How are you here than? Did they just give you time off?"

Blaine slowly shook his head. "I asked the understudy to cover for me for a while. I said there were some family issues I had to deal with. He understood. As long as I don't stay away too long it shouldn't be a problem."

Kurt shook his head, disbelieving. Blaine had given up acting on a Broadway stage to come all the way back to Ohio, for a daughter he didn't even know. Kurt didn't know what to think of it. "I'm gonna call the doctor and get an appointment. I'm gonna drive Emma to school and stop by work for a little while. I already mailed my articles yesterday, but I like to go over them with the editor, see if any changes are needed. I work for a local newspaper, by the way, I don't think I've mentioned that."

"Oh, okay, what uhm… what do you want me to do?"

Kurt shrugged. "Whatever you want. You can stay here, or you can come with me."

Blaine nodded. "I… is it okay if I stay here? I want to read those letters first."

"Okay," Kurt hesitated for a moment. "I have a few photo albums, if you want to see them."

"I, yes, I would." Blaine smiled softly. "Is it okay I use your shower again?"

"Of course, Blaine. Feel free to use whatever you need for as long as you stay with us, okay?" Kurt answered.

…

"…so, if your blood type matches Emma, we'll have to test your kidneys to see if they're functioning properly, and if they are we'll schedule the operation," Dr. Jane explained as she drew a tube of blood from Blaine's vein. "I hope to get the results by Monday."

Blaine nodded as he looked the other way.

"Not a fan of needles?" the doctor asked.

"Nope," Blaine answered. "Hate them, but it's for a good cause."

"It is," Dr. Jane answered. "I think you're doing a very selfless deed, willing to donate a kidney to a child you don't even know. I'm sure Kurt and Emma will be forever grateful."

"We are," Kurt agreed.

"I can't even imagine not doing this," Blaine replies, as he shook his arm to get rid of the numb feeling.

"Not everyone would think like this," the doctor said. "Well, that's it so far. I'll call Kurt when I get the results, and if all goes well, we'll schedule our next meeting then, to discuss the details."

Kurt and Blaine each shook the doctor's hand before leaving. Blaine followed Kurt, who swiftly walked through the hospital halls, as he was used to them. He shook his head as they got back to the car. "It's a maze in there. I would be so lost if it weren't for you."

"You get used to it." Kurt shrugged.

Blaine was silent for a moment. "Yeah, I guess."

Kurt bit his lip. He didn't want to make it awkward for Blaine, but he didn't want to hide the truth either. He loved his daughter with all his heart, but it wasn't easy. He probably knew the hospital better than some people who worked there. "It's almost time to pick Emma up from school. Do you want to come?"

Blaine nodded as Kurt backed out of the parking lot. "How hard is it?"

"What?"

Doing what you do, taking care of Emma on your own."

Kurt sighed. "It's not easy, but my parents help me a lot, and I'm lucky I have a job that allows me to work from home a lot."

A heavy silence fell between them.

"It's worth it," Kurt suddenly said. "Whenever I see her laugh or play with her friends, whenever she smiles at me, it makes it all worth it."

"I'm glad you adopted her," Blaine said softly. "I can't imagine a lot of people doing what you do."

Kurt hummed. "Yes… well."

Another silence fell between them, but it was slightly more comfortable this time, until Kurt spoke up. "It's Friday, and we have a whole free weekend to fill. I think we should do some fun stuff, so you can get to know her."

Blaine nodded. "Sounds good."

...

Love, Joyce