(I'm so, so sorry for all the confusion! I got it done yesterday, and uploaded it, but then I realized ff wasn't sending out any alerts so I took it back down. Now tonight apparently it sent ALL the alerts, so a lot of you got an alert for this chapter, but got send to chapter 9 instead, since I took this one back down and ugh... I'm so so sorry! If in the future there's any confusion feel free to pm me or send me a message on tumblr (joycelikestumblr), like a lot of you did. Sorry, again!

Hi, Lovelies!

Sorry, again, no review replies, but at least I got the chapter done! I think you'll all like this one. I know a lot of you have been waiting for this :) so enjoy!

I feel the need to mention my lovely beta again, themuse19 for all her awesome work! You're the best!

SC CH 10

"Kurt? Are you okay?" Blaine cocked his head as he saw Kurt coming back into the living room, shoulder slumped and his lips forced into a tight line.

Kurt shrugged and sat down on the couch next to Blaine. He laid his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. "Lady is sleeping on the foot of Emma's bed."

Blaine raised his eyebrows. "Oh?" He pretended to be annoyed for a moment, but secretly he was pleased their lives where coming together so nicely. "I guess I'll sleep alone then." When Kurt didn't' reply, Blaine turned so he could see Kurt. The man looked like he was on the edge of breaking out in tears. "Kurt?" he asked, concerned. This wasn't the man he'd gotten to know over the last few weeks. He looked… broken. Blaine bit his lip, contemplating what to do. Eventually he put one of his hands on Kurt's knee and squeezed in softly, hoping it'd reassure the other man.

Something inside Kurt gave way at the gesture and he shied away from Blaine's touch, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his head in his hands. His shoulders shook, and a choked-off noise escaped from his throat. "I'm so scared."

"You don't have to be scared." Blaine tried to sooth him. "It's gonna be okay."

"But what if it's not?" Kurt turned his head, staring Blaine straight in the eye. "What if something goes wrong?" He felt his chest tightening, making it difficult to breathe. "What if…." He couldn't even finish the sentence.

"Hey, don't," Blaine said, as he scooted closer to Kurt and wrapped his arms around the man's shoulders, pulling him close, hoping to comfort him. "Everything will be okay. The doctor herself said it's practically a routine operation. They've done hundreds of those."

Kurt shagged against Blaine, burying his head against Blaine's chest, fisting his shirt so he had something to hold onto.

"The worst that can happen is that her body rejects my kidney," Blaine said softly. "And if that happens I promise I'll go search for Rachel and drag her here myself if I have to."

Kurt chuckled through his tears and shook his head. "That's not the worst. What if something goes wrong? What if," Kurt breathed in shakily, "what if I lose her?"

"You won't," Blaine said decisively. "You won't! Don't even think about that option, because it's not going to happen."

Kurt looked up through his tears to see Blaine staring at him intently. He's still going on, almost rambling, but Kurt barely heard the words. Kurt is sure it's a mantra of reassurance, and he loves how this man is trying to comfort him, while it should be the other way around. Kurt should be strong. He should be the strong one, the one comforting Blaine and Emma, but instead he's here, crumbling down in the arms of another man, a man that has quickly crept into his life in a few weeks, and suddenly it hit him. It's not just Emma, it's also Blaine. He could also lose Blaine. A strangled noise escaped from his throat as he sat up straight and clasped a hand in over his mouth.

"Kurt?" Blaine looked even more worried now.

"I could lose you as well," Kurt managed to choke out between pants of breath. "Oh, God, Blaine I don't want to lose you either." Kurt was falling apart. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to stop the doom scenarios from forming in his head. What if something went wrong during the surgery? What if he lost Blaine without even telling him how he felt? What if he never got to kiss the man he loved? Before he consciously realized what he was doing, Kurt was pressing his lips to Blaine's, hard.

If Blaine was surprised by this, he didn't show it. He opened his mouth and coaxed his way into Kurt's by swiping his tongue over Kurt's bottom lip. Kurt groaned in return and opened his mouth obediently, wrapping his hands in Blaine's hair and holding him close. His mind had wandered here the last few weeks, he can't deny that, but he never imagined it to happen like this, desperate and mingled with tears.

Blaine pulled back after a few minutes and rested his forehead against Kurt's. He opened his eyes and was surprised by how intently Kurt was staring at him. "Please, Blaine, please, I need this," Kurt pleaded.

Blaine swallowed and nodded. Getting off the couch and pulling Kurt up with him, he lead Kurt through the living room and into the bedroom and closed the door behind them. He didn't even have time to think about what this meant, because as soon as he closed the door behind them Kurt was all over him. He pressed their mouths back together and tangled his hands in Blaine's hair. He slowly walked backwards to the bed without breaking contact. When he felt the foot of the bed against his legs he sat down and pulled Blaine down with him. Blaine immediately pushed Kurt on his back crawled on top of him, his hands roaming over the man's body, slipping under his shirt and pulling it up, over his head. He broke the contact between their lips with a smack and leaned back, staring down at the man under him. He let one of his hands roam over Kurt, first his cheek, then over his neck to his chest. He softly kneaded a nipple between his thumb and forefinger, and keened as Kurt curved his back to lean into the touch. One of Kurt's hands shot up and wrapped around his curls to pull his face closer again, to press their lips together a few short times between the delicious moans that escaped his throat.

Kurt was gasping for air. He felt like he was dreaming. For a moment he could pretend this was real, that he and Blaine connected through more than just Emma, that Blaine loved him. He keened as Blaine stared sucking just under his earlobe and let his legs fall open so Blaine could settle in between them and roll them together. He could feel Blaine twitching in his pants and he desperately wanted to feel him against his skin. He wanted to feel Blaine inside him, love him, but for now he'd take what he could get, so he wrapped his legs around Blaine's, hooking his feet behind Blaine's knees, and pressed up, rolling their hips together and creating a wonderful friction.

As soon as Kurt started grinding their hips together every coherent thought flew from Blaine's mind. All he knew is that he wanted more - more kisses, more skin, more connection. He pulled back slightly so he could pull his shirt off and threw it away carelessly. He moaned when their bare chests touched, and cupped Kurt's face in his hand. Kurt leaned into the touch and closed his eyes, and Blaine took the liberty of pressing fleeting kisses all over Kurt's face. If this is what Kurt wanted—needed - to forgot, he'd gladly help him.

"Please, Blaine," Kurt gasped. "Please, I need this. I need you."

Blaine moaned against Kurt's lips and nodded. He rolled off Kurt for a moment to shimmy out of his pants and underwear and saw Kurt do the same beside him. He gasped and stared as Kurt turned around to rummage through his bedside drawer. Kurt was leaning away, and he had a prefect view of Kurt's long legs, his ass, slightly bent towards him, and his back, curved up so he could see into the drawer and grab what he was looking for. Blaine couldn't help himself and reached forward to caress Kurt's ass. He softly stroked the skin, his breathing growing heavier. When Kurt turned around, condoms and lube in his hands and he saw Kurt's cock nestled against Kurt's stomach, long and thick, and he could swear he saw it twitch, he couldn't help the moan that escaped his lips. His hand wrapped around it on instinct and he squeezed it gently, before stroking up and down a few times. He could feel it twitch in his hand this time, and he quickly pounced back onto Kurt, pressing their lips together desperately. One of Kurt's hands clawed at his back, pulling him closer, and the other pressed the lube into Blaine's free hand.

He let go of Kurt's cock and pulled back, opening the bottle and generously coating his fingers. He saw Kurt begin to turn around and his lips opened, a desperate protest leaving his throat.

"What?" Kurt asked, looking confused.

"Don't…" Blaine shook his head, panting. "Don't turn around. Want to see you."

Kurt's eyes widened in surprise, but he nodded. He grabbed one of his pillows, and shoved it under his back to he was tilted and Blaine had easy access to his entrance. He breathed heavily and moaned as Blaine softly massaged the puckered skin around his rim. Blaine was sitting on his knees between Kurt's legs and was looking at him with a heavy gaze. Kurt's eyes fell on Blaine's cock, which was hard against Blaine's stomach. He couldn't wait to feel it in him, and he moaned and closed his eyes as Blaine's first finger slipped inside. Everything was a daze after that. He refused to open his eyes again. If he kept them closed, he could imagine this was so much more than it was. He could feel Blaine opening him up, sliding a second and eventually a third finger into him. He could feel Blaine leaning forward to press their lips together, and he imagined Blaine looking at him with love. He groaned in Blaine's mouth as the man twisted his fingers and brushed his prostate, and he could feel Blaine's cock twitch against his hip.

Blaine pulled his fingers out and rolled the condom on, coating himself generously with lube. He frowned as he saw Kurt lying under him. The man was panting heavily, but his eyes were screwed shut as if he were afraid to look at Blaine, and it almost broke Blaine's heart. He positioned his cock at Kurt's hole, and cupped Kurt's face gently. "Kurt," he whispered softly. "Kurt, please, open your eyes." Kurt shook his head and rolled his hips up so the tip of Blaine's cock slipped into him. It took all of Blaine's willpower, but he didn't push in like he wanted to. Instead he pressed his lips against Kurt's and kissed him for a few moments. "Please, Kurt," he pleaded. "I'm here, Love. Look at me."

Kurt's eyes flew open in shock at the endearment Blaine used, and he saw the man staring at him intently. He could feel Blaine stretching his rim, but the man didn't seem to care to push in deeper, because he was looking at Kurt with a heavy gaze. "Love?" Kurt managed to choke out, and Blaine smiled down at him, pressing their lips together as he finally sunk deeper into Kurt. Kurt moaned into Blaine's mouth, wrapping his legs around Blaine to keep him close. He could feel Blaine all around him, in him, with him, and it was the best feeling in the world. "Oh, God," he murmured against Blaine's lips, as the man started moving gently. He could feel Blaine stretching him, and he bucked his hips up so he slid in even deeper at the next thrust. His hands were roaming all over Blaine's body, his back, his neck, his back again, and eventually against his ass, pushing him deeper with every thrust. He mumbled Blaine's name over and over, and he couldn't keep his eyes off the man's face for even a minute. Blaine was looking at him like he was everything, and that was exactly as Kurt needed. Blaine was here, here with him, and that was all that mattered in this moment. He didn't even hold back as Blaine wrapped his hand around Kurt's shaft, and started pumping him in synch with his thrusts. His back curled up, so their chests were pressed flush together. He kept staring in Blaine's eyes as he stared to come, spurting between their bodies and coating them both. He clamped down on Blaine, and he could feel Blaine still his hips not even a minute later and twitch inside him. It was Blaine who broke the eye contact between them to press their lips together desperately.

Kurt's legs fell from around Blaine's hips, but he tightened his arms around Blaine's shoulders, afraid to let go. "Blaine," he whined over and over again. "Blaine."

"I'm here," Blaine assured him. "I'm here, Love."

The word made Kurt's chest tighten. He wasn't sure what it meant, or if Blaine even meant it. Maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing, but he wouldn't let it ruin this moment for him. All he wanted to know was that Blaine was here, with him. He could feel Blaine slipping out of him, and he whined at the loss. He didn't want Blaine to go, so he tightened his grip on the man. He could feel Blaine chuckle against him, and wrap his arms around Kurt's middle, to pull them flush together. He didn't even care that his come was drying and sticking between them, or that the lube was drying up in his hole. He'd deal with that tomorrow. All he wanted now was to have Blaine here with him, and he refused to let him move away.

…

Kurt woke up the next morning alone. The empty space next to him was cold, and a sudden fear washed over him. He hadn't fucked everything up last night, had he? Blaine hadn't run, he wouldn't, right? Kurt sat up and shivered. He grabbed a shirt from the floor- Blaine's he noticed, so the man must still be here- and his boxer shorts and climbed out of the bed. Pulling on a pair of sweatpants and opening the bedroom door, he was hit by the scent of fresh pancakes, so he hurried to the kitchen to find Blaine and Emma sitting at the table, devouring a stack each. Blaine smiled widely as he saw Kurt and patted the empty chair next to him.

"Blaine made pancakes!" Emma exclaimed loudly. "He's the best."

"He did?" Kurt asked as he sat down next to Blaine. He felt nervous; he didn't know what to do. He wanted to look at Blaine, make sure they were okay, but he was afraid that looking at Blaine would make him break down, so he didn't.

"I sure did," Blaine agreed as he grabbed another plate for Kurt. "Since it's the last decent breakfast Emma and I are going to have for a while, I figured we might as well make it count." He poured a generous amount of syrup on Kurt's stack. "I hope they're good."

"Thefy're amaaaaa-aaafing," Emma replied around a mouthful of pancake.

"Don't talk while you're eating," Kurt and Blaine said in unison.

Kurt turned his head at Blaine in surprise and he saw the man staring back at him. Blaine was smiling at him, but not his normal thousand-watt grin. It was softer, almost private, the way he had smiled at Kurt last night when they had drifted off into sleep. Kurt bit his lip and blushed furiously as he turned to his stack of pancakes. He almost choked on his first bite when he felt Blaine squeeze his knee softly under the table. He must have startled Blaine, because the hand was gone as soon as it had appeared, and when he glanced at the man out of the corner of his eyes he saw Blaine frowning. He wanted to grab Blaine and press a kiss to his lips, reassure both himself and Blaine about whatever this was, but he didn't. Emma was sitting right in front of them, and he needed to focus on her now. He needed to get her washed up and dressed, and he needed to get both Emma and Blaine to the hospital so they could get the last examinations and preparations for tomorrow's big operation over with.

…

"I'm so happy they put us in the same room," Blaine said as he tried to get comfortable on the hospital bed, "so I won't be stuck alone with a 70-year old man who wets his bed every night."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't be alone; I would have visited."

"Hmm, maybe." Blaine wiggled. "But I would have insisted that you stay with Emma." He hopped off the bed and walked to the window. "The view could have been better though." He turned to look at Kurt. "Will you bring me flowers tomorrow? To brighten the place up?"

"I… well, sure, if that makes you happy," Kurt said, smiling softly. "You're awfully chipper, considering you're going under the knife tomorrow morning."

Blaine hummed. "I just… I'm positive." Blaine beamed as he looked at Kurt. "I think everything will work out just fine."

"Oh," Kurt smiled. Emma was away for, what he hoped would be, her last dialyses, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone. Blaine was in a hospital gown, getting ready to have his catheter, his hair was ungelled, and he was walking around in his socks, but he still looked beautiful to Kurt, especially since Kurt knew what was under the gown. Blaine had a gorgeous body. You could see his years of dancing paid off. Last night was still fresh on his mind, but he didn't know what to say about it. "Thank you, for doing this," Kurt whispered.

"I promised I would, didn't I? You didn't think I'd suddenly take off?" Blaine frowned as he sat on the edge of his bed. He cocked his head and looked at Kurt. "You did?"

Kurt shrugged.

"I… because of last night?" Blaine asked.

Kurt shrugged again. "I was afraid you'd maybe run off after…"

"But… why?" Blaine looked confused. Last night had been wonderful in his opinion. He had taken a liking to Kurt as he'd laid eyes on him, and his crush had grown into something more the better he gotten to know Kurt. Last night he had assumed Kurt felt the same, but maybe he was wrong.

"I didn't mean to… jump you," Kurt tried to explain. "I just, I was so emotional and I wasn't thinking."

"Sometimes you don't have to think too much," Blaine said. "You just have to feel." And Blaine was pretty sure about what he felt, but he wasn't so sure about what Kurt felt. Last night he thought they had connected. It was so much more; it felt like so much more than just sex. "Kurt…" Blaine was interrupted by the nurse who came in to place his catheter. As he lay down his mind was reeling. Had he really taken Kurt's feelings the wrong way? Didn't Kurt care for him beyond friendship?