I'm late, I know. Exams and college are exhausting.
I take this opportunity to ask for a beta (since English is not my first language), so if you're up to it PM me. If you're in the mood I'd like to read some review, otherwise it's still okay. Here's the new chapter.
Chapter 2
You're finally home. It's been a week since you started teaching at McKinley and you're already tired given that you've been working non-stop since then. Last week you informed all your classes that it was time to have a test, just to know their Spanish skills, so they did it a few days ago and now you're grading them. You have to admit that your predecessor did a pretty good job, since the major part of them answered your questions very well. There's only one person who left it completely blank… Pierce.
She's been giving you angry glances mixed with luxurious glances since your very first day. Well, during your first day she mostly stared at you and you could definitely say she became angry after you talked, when she stormed out of the classroom. You don't get why she's acting like that, you haven't done anything wrong by telling her she was a kid… she is. If you think about it you realize that maybe… maybe you've beena little too hard on her, but you did that for her apart from your own good. You don't want your relationship to be awkward because you have to see her at school everyday and she's your student and you have to keep it all professionally, so you thought that being hard on her was for the best, since she said certain things to you.
'I really liked having sex with you…'
You freeze every time you recall that sentence and it happened a lot since she pronounced it. You freeze because you think you liked it as much as her, you freeze because when you first saw her you thought you haven't ever seen anyone half as beautiful as her, you freeze because she can be extremely sexy and incredibly cute at the same time, you freeze because she's been the first person to make you feel both respected and truthfully desired in years. You definitely need to talk to someone about her.
Quinn's not home yet. She's been talking to you since you cleared everything up, but she's still acting stiffly. At first you were sad, but now you realized you don't have anything to do with it and that she messed her life up all by herself. At least, that's what you're trying to convince yourself of.
You're hungry, so you rise from your chair and walk to the kitchen. You look on the counters and on the shelves, but there's not much left. You grab a bagel and put it in the microwave to warm it up. Simultaneously to the microwave alarm you hear the bell ring, so you walk to your front door in order to see who's trying to bother you. As soon as you open it you're immerse on grocery's bags.
"Umphh…" you breathe when Quinn literally throws three bags on your chest. Quickly, you encircle them with your arms in order to avoid to let them fall on the ground. "Damn it, Fabray. Easy."
"I know you don't like when I go easy on you…" She says, and now you're looking at her with disbelief. "Sorry." She adds, giving you an apologetic look.
"It's fine." You tell her with a smile. You don't want things to be awkward again, not now that they're starting to get better.
The two of you get inside your place, heading to the kitchen.
"So…what have you bought? I'm hungry." You ask her.
"I bet you are, there's nothing left in the kitchen and I know how much you like a snack while you're working." She says smiling.
"How do you know I was working?" You ask her frowning your eyebrows. "We haven't talked about that. Are you stalking me, Fabray?"
"I'm not, Lopez. But someone might or might not be stalking you." She answers, placing everything she bought in the right place. She's so meticulous.
"Who are you talking about?" You ask, astonished.
"Like you don't know yet…"
You're getting nervous. You have some suppositions, but you want to have a validation. Plus, you're afraid Brittany might have talked to Quinn about you and you can predict the tragedy already. God, you don't want to think about it. Presuming she actually talked to Quinn, you don't think she mentioned what happened between the two of you, first of all because you don't think she's stupid and second of all because if she had you'd be fired by now, not mentioning you'd have met "Hurricane Fabray". 'ugh', you think, shuddering at the creeps that idea gives you.
"I do not know. Or else I wouldn't have asked you." You state.
"Calm down Santana. I was kidding. Puckerman told me you run some test, so I figured you were grading them."
"I was. And you're right, I would have loved to eat something and also I should calm down." You smile, relieved.
"But…" She starts, turning around to look at you with a serious look upon her face. "Someone's been asking about you…"
Fuck.
"Who?" You try to ask nonchalantly.
"Pierce." She states. "She's been asking Principal Sylvester, I still find it weird to call her like this, to be removed from your class. What have you done to her, Santana?"
You narrow your eyes, incredulous. Why does it always have to be your fault?
"Me? I haven't done anything! Why are you supposing I did something? Why can't it be her fault?" You ask, with a little too much impetuosity.
"Because she's such a great girl. She might not be very good at studying, but that's because she's involved in a lot of activities. She's a Cheerio, she's class representative and she's a dancer. Also, she's really kind and she's one of the few students paying attention during class. So now I'm asking you why would she want to be removed from your class?"
You lost her at 'dancer'. God, you should've figured it out. I mean, you saw every inch of her body and it is just gorgeous. If you only knew she was a dancer, you would have make her dance for you back then. You can only imagine her dancing, she must be so sexy and captivating and this thought is turning you on so fucking much…
"Santana, are you zoning out as usual?" Quinn asks you snorting.
You shake your head, trying to focus on Quinn instead that on your pupil's damn perfect body.
"What? No!... I mean, yes I did. Sorry, I'm… tired I think?" You stutter out, trying to mentally preserve at least a bit of your dignity.
"Sometimes I wonder why I'm still talking to you after all this time." She grumbles. "I asked you for which reason she w-"
"I got it, Q. And I really don't know what I could have done to her. I haven't even talked to her yet." You tell her, while grabbing a pan in order to fry some eggs and bacon. Forget the bagel, you're really hungry, both you and Quinn love bacon and you haven't had some in weeks which in very unusual for the both of you, especially for Quinn. You know it is not a healthy dinner, but neither you nor Quinn like to cook.
"Well you should talk to her. She's been taking Spanish for 4 years now and if I were you I wouldn't let a student like her change her schedule during her final year, giving the impression that there's something wrong with you, not now that you're barely hired."
She's right. Damn it, she's right. You hate that, but you can't help it. You don't need to create any problem, especially during the very first weeks of your very first job.
While you're thinking, and probably zoning out again, Quinn tears the pan off your hands while eating a raw slice of bacon. Eww.
You realize it's time to set the table, so you do while telling Quinn she's right (even if you would have rather avoided it) and you also promise her you will talk to Brittany. You try not to think about how you would love to talk to her by moans, but you know it is inappropriate. That doesn't stop you from smiling at the thought, though.
You sit on your usual chair, waiting for the food to be cooked. You realize you haven't replied to Quinn's last statement, so you do it now.
"I will."
And you will for sure. You're going to talk to her, but first you need to clear your head and you know that only one person can help you.
Both you and Quinn ate your food in religious silence. To you it seems like you don't have any topic to discuss anymore, maybe because you've been knowing each other for more than ten years and you've been living together since you graduated. You finish your meal and then you get up to wash the dishes, as you always do since Quinn's the one who cooks, but she stops you by grabbing your wrist with her hand.
"I want a puppy." She storms out.
You turn your head to look at her.
"You want a what?" You ask her, unwilling to believe. She hasn't ever loved animals that much, so you don't get why she suddenly wants one.
"A puppy, Santana. I think we might need someone to mediate between us. Plus, if you're going to move out soon – but you know there's no rush - , I would like to have someone to share the place with. You know… I don't really like to be alone. Please, San. I'm going to wash the dishes for you as long as you want me to." She says in one breathe.
You don't know what's wrong with her lately, but her offer is good enough.
"Fine. Even though we already have someone to mediate between us you can get the puppy, as long as it sleeps in the backyard. Oh, I also accept your offer to wash the dishes for as long as I live here."
"Wait, I didn't say I would have washed them for so long, that was a way of saying." She stands up to emphasize her point.
"I don't care, you can't take it back." You tell her while scrolling your shoulders. "Have fun." You smile at her before walking to the door in order to start the always endless search of your cellphone.
"Wait!" She yells. You stop in front of the door and you nod to let her know you're listening to her even if you're not turning around to face her. "Will you come with me to the pet store?" She asks.
"I will."
You're in the living room, trying desperately to find your cellphone. You need to make that call now that Quinn's busy, or else she wouldn't ever let you see him without her.
12 minutes later you find it under the sofa cushions. How did it even get in there? You sit on your couch, you dial the number and you wait for him to answer.
'Hello?'
"Got no time. Breakfast tomorrow?" You ask quickly.
'San-Santana is everything ok? I heard you came back to Lima but I haven't seen-'
"I just told you I don't have time to talk. So is it a yes or a no?" You still don't understand how much he can talk. And people say women talk too much...
'Yes, but-'
'Right. Lima Bean 6.30 a.m. Bye'
'Wait, is Quinn going to be-'
'She doesn't need to know.' You can't believe you forgot to mention that. Must have been the hurry.
'Would you let me talk? We're not playing secret agents.'
'Fine. Speak.' He's so fucking annoying but, on the other hand, he's the only one who can give you a subjective point of view to your problem and make you think straight. It's always been that way between the two of you.
'Is Quinn going to be there? I haven't seen her either yet.'
'She's not and I would like to keep it a secret for now. Would you mind?' You know being gentle is the only 'weapon' you have against him.
'Oh, OK… I'll see you tomorrow then, have a goodnight Santana.' He must have noticed your worried and sincere tone, so he gave the questions up.
'Goodnight. And, by the way, I missed you Porcelaine.' You tell him with a big smile.
You're happy you're going to see him tomorrow and you wonder why you haven't seen him as soon as you moved back to Lima. And then you remember you've had much bigger problems, one of them named Brittany and it still isn't over. You hope it will be by tomorrow.
/
When you walk through the door of the Lima Bean you can see he's already there, sitting at the table you used to sit at when you were kids and he's waiting for you. As soon as he sees you he stands up, showing a large smile on his face, and he approaches you.
"Santana. I can't believe you're here. It's so good to see you." He tells you, encircling you with his arms. Tight.
"Umpf… I can't breathe, princess." You whisper. He's being a little too dramatic, it's not like you haven't seen each other for years. His behavior annoys you a little, yet you're enjoying being held in your bestfriend's arms after what really seemed too long. "It's good to see you too, Kurt." You tell him with a smile, when you're free from his delicate yet strong arms.
"So, how are you and Quinn doing?" He asks, leading the way to the table he's been sitting at.
"Uh… Kurt, would you sit first?"
"Yeah… yeah, sure." He frowns, as if he's worried. And you can't blame him, you'd be worried too if he told you to sit before you speak.
"So…" You start as soon as you both sit. "You must have understood this is something serious and, because of that, we need to set some rules."
"Santana, I don't know what all of this is about, but this 'rule thing' kind of scares me. I need to clarify that I'm gay, so I'm not interested in any friend with benefits thing, nor I will be your donor regardless how kind you ask."
You can't help but laugh. Kurt's never going to change.
"Relax, porcelain. I can say I am as much gay as you are, if not even gayer and, trust me, a donor is the least thing I need."
"Santana, you're starting to worry me… a lot. What's going on?" He asks and he seems sincerely concerned.
"Rules first." You say matter-of-factly, then you take a breath before you start speaking again. "Let's say we're playing a game called 'don't ask, don't tell, don't judge'. Deal?"
"Do I get to do something? These rules seems very restrictive to me." He complains.
"Well… you get to listen." You answer quickly.
When the bartender approaches you, demanding for your orders, you ask for a Cappuccino while Kurt takes a White Chocolate Mocha.
"Fine. I don't think I can have a loophole, so I'm in. Deal."
"Ok, now breathe before I start to speak." Actually, you're one who needs to re-establish your respiratory system. You're scared he might judge you. You judge yourself as well. "I may or may not have had sex with one of my pupils." You spit out in one single breath.
"YOU WHAT?" He yells. You look around to make sure no one noticed his little outburst. Then you place a hand on his forearm and you scoot closer to him.
"Ssssh you idiot. Do you want everyone's attention to be on us? Because I don't." You whisper.
"Then clear yourself out because I'm sure I haven't heard you correctly." He tells you with raised eyebrows. Then he takes his arm away from your hand.
You sigh and you drop your shoulders. It's time to spit it all up, but you need to recollect your thoughts first. Luckily, the bartender comes back with your drinks and he places them in front of the both of you. You use this time to think about how to start it all, but when the guy walks away your mind is still blank. This time it's Kurt's hand which is stroking yours and, when you lift your head, you look at him straight in the eyes and they're looking back at you with worry.
"Come on, Santana. I apologize for my reaction to that, even though I don't think you'd have reacted differently. But I really want to hear you out and I can tell you really need to talk."
"I do. I don't know what to do Kurt. Everything's so messed up, my life is a fucking mess." You move your hand to let it join the other in covering your face while you shake your head. You don't even know how to put in words all you've been through lately.
"San…" Kurt snaps you back from your thoughts. "You need to start from the beginning."
/
You really needed to talk to Kurt. He has his own special way to look at the world and you know he's always going to tell you what's best for you, no matter what. You told him you know you made a mistake with Brittany, but you also told him you really like her, and that was the first time you admitted it even to yourself. He was really shocked at first, but then he told you something that really caught you by surprise. He said 'I knew your life wasn't heading to the right direction. I've been knowing that for years now. I also thought it wasn't my place to tell you this, but now you're asking me for an advice so I'm going to tell you what I think. You need to rebuild your life, to do what you want to do with it and not what somebody else told you to do. I know you don't want to teach Spanish forever, so do something. You've been doing things you don't like for too long now. Be brave Santana.'
You think he would have been the best with you, as per usual, if he had told you to be brave with Brittany as well. Except he didn't. On the contrary, he told you to forget about it. Even when you told him you're overwhelmed by her longing looks, even when you told him that your breath hitches in your throat everytime you catch her staring at you, even when you told him you feel you're about to die when you see her with that Cheerio uniform which perfectly fits her toned body.
But you know he's right and you also know he has good reasons to tell you to back off. You'd have enough for your own actually. So you take a decision: you have to put an end to this and you're going to do it today after class. You're going to ask her why would she leave your class, as Quinn suggested, and then you're going to tell her it's not fair and it could ruin your career, she's going to be reasonable and everything's going to be fine.
"So now give me back your tests before you go to lunch and I'll see you on Thursday." You spent the last period giving the graded tests to each senior, answering their questions. For the whole time you could feel a pair of eyes glued to your body. Every part of it. It was like Brittany was checking up every inch of your body with such intensity, as if she wasn't going to see it ever again.
You come back to reality when you see that the pupils are exiting the classroom and you know you have to stop her before it's too late. You look at her and you don't need to look for her eyes, since her orbs are fixed on you already.
"Uh, Brittany may I talk to you? Your grade was really bad and we need to discuss it." You tell her trying to hide your nervousness at the thought of the two of you being alone in your classroom.
"I can smell deteeeenction…" Sugar sings when passing next to Brittany.
She shrugs at Sugar's behavior and then she pierces her eyes into yours, as if to see if there's something more. You sustain her gaze and you think you did it well since she's nodding with what you think is disappointment.
As soon as the classroom is empty she walks over to your desk, waiting for you to stand up while looking straight at your eyes again. When you stand up and you lean onto the side of your desk she takes a few steps back and you can't figure out what she's doing until you see her hand grab the door handle, pushing it until it's closed while she looks at you with a smirk upon her face.
"You know…" She starts, walking in your direction. "You're not good at hiding what you really mean by 'talking to me about my bad grade'." She places both her hands on your desk, each one of them grazing the side of your thigh while coming down.
She spreads her legs a little, to fit into your position and now you know you haven't had a good idea by leaning on your desk. She's trapping you and she's slowly moving towards you. Her eyes drift from your own to your lips and then back on your eyes and you can see her gorgeous blue orbs darken a little.
You want to say something, you want to tell her to move but you can't. There's a lump in your throat and your legs starts to shake when you smell her scent, which takes you right back to that night at the motel just a couple weeks ago. Oh, than night…
"Stop!" You yell, placing your hands on her shoulder to push her away.
You close your eyes and you cover them with one of your hands to emphasize your discomfort. You realize you've been brought back to reality by a warm breath right on your lips. A breath coming from a pair of lips you've been dreaming of for weeks. Lips that you want to taste, even for one last time. But you know you can't and you have to be the adult here. Gathering up all the strength you need, you lift your butt from the desk and you stand up straight.
"This is about your grades, it's not an excuse. And there's something else…" You tell her.
Confusion is still written all over her face. Did she really think you were lying? That you wanted to be alone with her? That you made this up to kiss her?
"Oh. I see…" She's disappointed and you know that, but you pretend not to see it. "So, is this about the test we took the other day?" She asks. Her body still too close to yours.
"I heard you requested to be removed from my class. Why is that? I mean, I take that things aren't really easy between u… well, you and me. But this might be too much, things doesn't necessarily have to be weird and I just got the job, what would the Principal think about me if you ask her to be removed after not even two weeks?" You look at her and, when she opens her mouth to answer, you speak again. "Just give me some time, ok? Things will get better, we're going to forget about everything that happened and if we're not then we'll get used to it. We can do things right without threatening my career."
You're almost pleading. You hate to do that, but you know you need to. The only thing you hadn't planned was her answer.
"Do you really think it is that simple? Do you really think I haven't tried to forget about you? I did!" You can see how passionate she's being, you can see how much she's suffering. And you feel bad. "But all I can think about is you, Santana, and if we're being honest I know you think about me too." She moves closer to you again and you think you're not able either to move yourself or to push her back again. "I can see how you freeze every time you catch me looking at you, I can see how your legs shook just a second ago, when you almost let me kiss you. I don't know you Santana, but I observed you long enough to see how fierce you are and I'm sure you want to kiss me right now, but you're too proud to admit it."
You can feel the last words right on your lips. She's so close and you get reminded of Kurt's words. 'Be brave, Santana. Do what you want to do.'
So you decide to be brave and you lean over to her, closing the gap between the two of you and placing your hands on her hips. As soon as you do that you move away a little, wanting to see her reaction.
She still has her eyes closed, but there's a smile upon her face.
"So, this is what a bad grade brings you to, huh?" She asks, still with her eyes closed.
You frown and this time you push her away by her hips.
"So you did that on purpose? You failed your test on purpose, in order to have the chance to be alone with me?" You ask with a mix of disbelief and resignation. You should have figured that out. That smart manipulating evil genius…
"I might have or might have not…" She tells you, her eyes fixed on your lips.
When she seems to move closer to you, you speak again and trying to act like the adult on charge.
"And then what? Do you think this is going to end well for you? You're an adult by now. That's not good Brittany, you should try to have good grades in order to be admitted in a good college and-"
"Stop it." She grumbles. "So now I am an adult, aren't I? Wasn't I just a kid a couple weeks ago? Moreover, don't act like you're being fair and all, because you're not. You asked me to stay away from you and the very first time we find ourselves alone you kiss me, so don't try to make me look as the guilty one, because I'm not. I may have done it wrong by trying to be alone with you, but I could say you've done equally wrong by kissing me." She breathes a couple times to calm down, then she adds. "If I didn't like it…"
You sigh and you have to give it all up, because she's right. You're as wrong as she is and blaming it all on her isn't going to help. On the other side though, you feel like you've deceived her by kissing her and you don't want to. So you decide to try a whole different approach on her.
"Listen, let's just try to reset it all, shall we? You're right, we both have done something wrong and I would like for that all not to happen again. Is that ok?" You ask quietly, looking at her with a serious gaze.
She sighs in resignation, then she nods. "I won't ask Principal Sylvester to be removed from your class and I won't stare at you while you teach under one condition." She tells you with no specific expression spreading over her face.
"Tell me." You answer quickly. You really don't want to lose your job and you'd do anything to preserve you from it. Well, almost everything…
"Tutor me."
"You want me to what?" You ask her with shock running all over your body. "As you can see it's not healthy for the both of us to be alone."
"I will act properly, I promise. Besides, I won't feel the need to stare at you if I know I can look at you in private. I'll improve my grades and your career will be safe. Everybody wins." She look at you with a puppy look, smiling in the cutest way.
You take a couple of seconds to think about it, then you realize that this is going to be easier than you thought. If you agree you'd have to tutor her either at your place, where Quinn also lives, or at her place, where there should be her parents. That means you're not going to be completely alone. Agreeing, you could both be freed from the staring and be working at McKinley. You win, you tell yourself grinning internally.
"Fine."