"Why are you calling me?" Blaine answered the phone.

"Hello to you, too," Eli replied. "I don't know, because we're friends?"

"We're not friends anymore."

"Why not, too much sexual tension?"

"Because you're the reason my life is ruined, and I could never not think about that when I think about you. And because it would kill Kurt to know I'm even speaking to you."

"Whipped," Eli breathed to himself. "What are you up to?"

"I'm at an audition. Are you listening to me? We are never speaking again. Stop calling me."

"Fine. What audition?"

Blaine frowned. "I'm going to be Sandy in Grease." He hung up.

—

"Blaine! Blaine!" someone yelled from down the hall. It turned out to be Finn. "I'm a couple days late, but congratulations on Teen Angel. I'm glad you're going to be in the musical. I think the part will be good for you, I mean, you're totally angelic. But not in a weird way. Just in a regular way. Artie and I wish you would have been Danny, but it's cool."

Blaine was only half listening him. Somewhere in his mind he heard Rachel's voice in New York, telling him to talk to Finn. To be friends with him. To help him. "Yeah," he said. "I probably can't come to any rehearsals outside of school, though. I'm still grounded for going to New York without permission, and my parents still don't consider glee club academically… necessary."

"You don't need to practice," Finn waved him off. "Anyway, I have a confession to make."

Blaine gave him a wary sideways glance.

"I was sitting there with Artie during your audition, watching you do 'Hopelessly Devoted to You,' and Artie said, 'He's totally singing this about Kurt.' And I realized you were. And you were doing such a good job, and you were so passionate… and sad…" He trailed off.

Blaine turned from his locker to face Finn, and waited for him to start making sense.

"So, anyway," Finn snapped out of it, "I… filmed it?"

Blaine frowned harder, which somehow turned out to be possible. "What?"

"Just on my cellphone, not with a professional camera, or anything. And I sent it to Kurt."

Blaine's heart almost thumped out of his chest. "What? What did he say?"

Finn took his phone from his pocket and read a text from Kurt in monotone. "Devotion is a strange way of putting it. I had just stopped crying and now I'm crying myself to sleep every night to that video, thanks. Don't tell Blaine I said this." Finn looked up and blinked confusedly, only then realizing he'd broken the rule.

"Oh my god," Blaine said, and tried to collapse into his locker. He got one arm and his head in.

"But that's a good thing!" Finn said. "If he didn't care, he wouldn't be crying. We want him to cry, I guess. It means he cares."

"No, we don't want him to cry," Blaine said from inside his locker. "We want him to be happy."

"Well, he's never gonna be happy if he's not with you."

"That's not necessarily true," Blaine said, sinking lower and lower.

"He loves you, and you're totally going to get back together soon. I just wanted you to know I'm on your side."

Blaine couldn't move or respond. He figured after a minute Finn had probably ambled away, so he pulled himself out and went looking for him, guiltily. He found him down an adjoining hallway. "Finn…"

Finn looked at him.

"Thank you."

He smiled. "No problem."

"I'm on your side, too."

He nodded. "Um, okay. Thanks."

Blaine sighed. "Do you want to, like, hang out, or something? Some day?" He did not know how to ask faux straight people to hang out without it sounding like he was asking him out on a date. Which he definitely wasn't. He had promised Rachel he'd help him. And he was Kurt's brother. Maybe someday, if Blaine allowed himself to consider it for even a second, Finn would be his brother in law. They should be friends.

"Sure," Finn agreed, not freaked out at all.

Something clicked into place in Blaine's brain suddenly. He practically had an epiphany. "My brother and I are meeting tomorrow for lunch at Breadstix. You should come."

"I should? With your brother?" Okay, now Finn thought it was weird. But Blaine didn't care at that point. He had a plan.

"Yeah. Noon. Cool?"

"Cool," Finn said, but he was still trying to figure it out. "See you."

—

That night Blaine called Kurt for probably the five millionth time since they broke up and left him a message. "This is probably the five millionth time I've called you," he said, "and I know you're purposefully not answering. It's okay. I know you're not ready to talk to me, and I know I don't deserve to ever talk to you again. But I don't want you to think I've forgotten you, or that I'm giving up on you, or that I've gotten over you. I've sent you a hundred little gifts and I've said I'm sorry so many times I know it sounds meaningless now. I don't know at what point I become desperate or tacky or a stalker, but it was probably a long time ago. So I'm calling to say I'm giving it a break. Not because I'm giving up, but because I know you need to breathe and think and live without me bothering you all the time. If you ever want to talk, you know how to get ahold of me. I'll listen any day, any time. For the last time, for now, I'm sorry and I still love you."

He hung up. Somewhere downstairs the front door was thrown open and Cooper announced to the whole house that he was home.

—

"I've never been here in the daytime before," Finn said, looking wide eyed around Breadstix the next day. He sat next to Cooper, and Blaine sat across from them both. He had insisted. He had something to tell them. He needed to see them clearly. "I always thought it was just a place to bring your dates."

"Aren't you Kurt's brother?" Cooper asked, and raised an eyebrow at Blaine. He mouthed, "A little weird?"

"Shut up," Blaine frowned at him.

Finn smiled and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Blaine was polite enough to wait until their food arrived before making his announcement. "So," he smiled at them. "I brought you two here for a reason."

Cooper rolled his eyes. Finn froze, pasta halfway to his mouth.

"I am completely miserable," Blaine said, still smiling, but a little sadder now.

"Congratulations," Cooper deadpanned.

"And then I realized something, yesterday. There are some people in the world who are even more miserable than I am. And maybe that's what I should focus my attention on. If I can't make myself happy, maybe I can help other miserable people feel better about themselves."

"Like starving kids in Africa?" Finn asked.

"No," Blaine shook his head. "I mean the two of you."

They stared at him.

"For the sake of privacy, I could have talked to you both separately, but it occurred to me you're both miserable for the same reason. And to be efficient, I can fix you both at once."

"Fix us?" they asked in unison.

"You're both unhappy because you're both hiding your sexuality."

Finn blinked at him and the pasta fell off his fork, but he still didn't move. Cooper put his hands on the table, obviously angry. "This is bullshit, Blaine."

"No, you're bullshit," Blaine yelled, a little too loudly for Breadstix. He dropped the smiling pretense. "I've known my whole life that you're gay, or at the very least bi, and you've never told anyone."

Cooper tried to say something, but Blaine wouldn't let him.

"You've never told our parents, anyway, and—"

"Our parents? Why would I? I'd be lying."

"You would not, you'd be telling the truth for once in your life, and you would have protected me. You could have saved me from all the suffering I've gone through if you would have come out to them first. They would have accepted it from you, because they think you're perfect no matter what you do, and then they wouldn't have even noticed me. We both would have been happier."

"Blaine, this is exactly what you always do. This is exactly how you pushed Kurt away."

"You just refuse to be a good brother."

"You're making this up, Blaine!" Cooper yelled at him. "You invent problems and then resent people for not seeing them, too. But it's all in your head."

"Are you telling me I'm crazy?" Blaine asked and looked at Finn to back him up, but Finn was still frozen and had recently turned white.

"No, you're not crazy. You're just unhappy and you want to make everyone else as unhappy as you are. But it's just going to make you feel even worse when you realize you've finally pushed everyone away. When you realize you're really alone," Cooper replied. He stood and gave Blaine a moment to come up with a good retort, which Blaine couldn't do, so he walked away and left the restaurant without another word.

Blaine glowered at the front doors of Breadstix for a while, after Cooper had disappeared through them. Eventually he remembered Finn. Finn was frowning, and pushing his pasta around his plate with his fork, and might have been blushing.

"I'm sorry," Blaine said to him, hoping he sounded as sincere as he felt. "I didn't bring you here to yell at you, just my brother. I'm not mad at you. And I didn't mean to out you in front of a stranger, but Cooper doesn't know anyone we know, and he wouldn't tell a soul. He probably wasn't even entirely aware you were sitting there. Most of his brain capacity is occupied thinking about himself."

"Did Kurt tell you? About my soulmate?" Finn asked after a while.

"Kurt used to tell me everything, because I used to be trustworthy," Blaine said. "I could have found a more delicate way to tell you I knew, but it was never going to be easy for me to just… tap you on the shoulder and say, 'hey, by the way, I know all about your darkest secret and I think you should talk to me about it.'"

Finn shrugged. "What do you want me to say?"

Blaine faltered. "Nothing, if you don't want to. But now that Kurt's not here, I just thought you should know you can talk to me about it. If you wanted to." He wanted to point out this was all Rachel's idea, but he decided not to throw her under the bus, just then. He'd already upset and betrayed enough people for one day. Or one lifetime.

"Kurt's not dead, I can still talk to him on the phone," Finn said. "Just because he won't talk to you anymore doesn't mean I can't talk to him."

Blaine dropped his gaze to the table and tried not to show how much Finn's words stung him. "Fine."

"Plus, he's my brother. You're just…" Finn stopped.

Blaine deduced whatever word Finn could have used couldn't have been a positive one. He nodded. "Point taken. Sorry, again." He started to slide out of the booth, to leave the same way his brother had gone, angry and in the middle of the meal.

But Finn stopped him. "Blaine," he said, and waited until Blaine sat again and looked at him. "You really are going about everything the wrong way."

Blaine didn't respond.

"So, do you have any advice for me? What should I do?" Finn asked.

"Whatever you want to do," Blaine said.

Finn blinked at him. "That's it?"

"I mean it's up to you," Blaine tried again. "You have control of your own life. You don't have to let a stranger's name on a stupid piece of paper dictate your life. It's your life. You should be with people who make you happy. Not hiding from someone because he's a boy. Not looking for someone forever because you don't know where or who they are, and maybe never finding them. Not letting go of good people who love you because the stupid piece of paper says they're not the right ones. You know who's right for you. Not a piece of paper."

Finn thought about it. "Do you wish you never met Kurt?"

"No. Of course not."

"It would have saved you a lot of pain, wouldn't it?"

"It would have kept me from a lot of happiness."

Finn sighed. "As long as you don't do anything like this… ever again… I guess it'd be cool to have you to talk to. You know… about everything."

Blaine nodded. "I'll try not to."

—

"I heard through the grapevine you're not doing so well," Sam said on the phone that night.

Blaine leaned his head against the wall and shut his eyes. "I threw a fit at Breadstix and offended my brother, Finn, and everyone sitting within earshot of the yelling."

"Well, what's going on? Have you talked to Kurt?"

"No," Blaine swallowed a lump in his throat. "I haven't."

"Then what happened?"

"Nothing really happened with Finn, he was just a witness," Blaine said, not really lying, just slightly altering the truth. "And I blamed my brother for every problem I've ever had, starting from birth. He didn't seem to appreciate it."

"Is he really the reason?"

"No. Yes, kind of. He's just an asshole."

"He seemed nice that day in school. I could tell you were mad at him then, too. But I thought you made up?"

"We make up all the time, and then he's an asshole again."

"You have to get to the root of the problem," Sam said wisely.

Blaine laughed, annoyed at even having to think about Cooper, and tried to think of when he started to basically hate him. "He moved out when I was in junior high. When I was just starting to be bullied. And I remember this guy was shoving me around, and I told him to just wait until my brother found out, that he'd come and kick his ass. And I felt really empowered, because I said 'ass' pretty convincingly. And then I went home and found Cooper all packed up. And before I knew it, he was in L.A., and my parents were never around, and I had to learn how to stick up for myself. Which was a good thing, I guess, but I would have preferred it if someone else did it for me."

"Did he get up and leave today while you were yelling at him?" Sam asked.

"Yes!" Blaine kind of yelled, glad that Sam could see the pattern. "He always leaves when I need him to be there. To yell at and… berate."

"He probably doesn't realize that it hurt you when he moved away. You should just try to be nicer to him. You can't change the past, you can only try to do better starting now. Think about Kurt. You want Kurt to forgive you, to see that you're not the same person you were before. So you should forgive Cooper. Maybe it'll set off a chain of forgiving and lead to widespread world peace."

Blaine shook his head in mild awe. "You're like a philosopher and a psychologist at the same time."

Sam laughed. "Here's my last piece of advice. Um, don't look at Kurt's Facebook. At least not tonight."

"Why?!" Blaine asked, and nearly fell off the bed trying to open his laptop.

"Don't do it, man," Sam said. "Tonight you're starting over. You're going to forgive your brother, and be calmer, and nicer to everyone, and… just… peace. Remember the peace."

Blaine stared slack jawed at the screen of his computer. "Kurt Hummel changed his relationship status to Single," it said. And Kurt had added, "No commentary necessary." But there were about a dozen comments, from Rachel, to Mercedes, to Carole Hudson-Hummel, to people at McKinley Blaine was pretty sure had never even spoken to Kurt before, saying things like, "I'll hold my tongue, then," and, "Blaine, Blaine, Blaine, tsk, tsk," and "Poor Kurtie. I'll buy you a piece of cheesecake next time you're in town. You deserve one. Or two." There was a gangly looking preteen with the last name Hummel who lived in Florida, who must have been some kind of third cousin Blaine never knew existed, who said, "Heard about what happened. Sucks, dude."

"What the hell is this?" Blaine asked Sam, practically hysterical.

Sam sighed. "I told you not to look at it. Take a deep breath."

"Did Kurt send everyone he's ever met handwritten updates on our relationship? Who are these people? How does everyone know?"

"I'm sure he didn't say anything. News just travels fast. Hang on, I'll call you back in like five minutes."

They hung up. While Blaine waited he stared at the screen, watching as new comments full of gossip and spite toward him popped up in real time.

He answered wordlessly when Sam called back.

"I did an experiment," Sam said. "I called Kurt and told him I saw his Facebook, and asked what happened between you guys. He asked if I've talked to you about it, and I said no. He said nothing happened and that you're just taking a break. I asked what was up with all the anti-Blaine comments on his wall and he said he didn't know about it, and said he's going to delete them when he gets home. He sounded actually pissed that people were leaving shitty comments about you. So he's not telling anyone. You know he's not like that."

"I didn't even know we were taking a break." Blaine sighed and thumped his head against the desk and closed his eyes again. "I'm going to have to leave McKinley."

"No, you're not."

"I can never go to glee club again."

"Yes, you can."

"They loved Kurt. Everybody loves Kurt. I'm like some terrible… monster—" He stopped when his voice cracked.

"Blaine," Sam said.

"Who swooped in and kidnapped him and hurt him…"

"You're not a monster. You're just human. You made a mistake, and you're sorry for it. That's the thing, everyone in glee club can see how sorry you are. They understand. They aren't mad at you."

Blaine didn't know what to say.

"Remember," Sam said. "You're starting over. You're going to be okay. You're going to be happy. You just have to try."

Blaine nodded. "Thanks, Sam."

"Don't beat yourself up over what happened with Kurt. He knows you're sorry, too. You don't have to be miserable forever because you think he'd want you to be. If you want him back, you should be the Blaine he'd want to get back together with. Not a sobbing mess, but a happy and confident you."

Blaine thought about it. "But what if I never see him again?"

Blaine could practically hear Sam rolling his eyes. "Of course you will."

—

He took Sam's words to heart, but didn't have much time to practice being happy and nice and peaceful before Kurt, rather suddenly and without warning, showed up in his life again.

Finn had been giving him a pep talk before Grease's opening night, something about how to be more angelic. And Blaine was grateful for the musical, finally, even though he'd spent weeks hating the idea because it was full of love and romance, and he was sure his heart couldn't handle it. But being a part of it meant he could think about acting, and singing, remembering lines and the right places to stand. It took his mind off of things. Well, it took his mind off of Kurt.

And then the conversation with Finn was over, and he turned and walked away, and looked up and saw Kurt. Standing there. Like he belonged there, or like it was normal. Blaine tried to remember what Sam had told him to do, but it was just a jumbled mess that only boiled down to, 'be happy.' And he couldn't be happy. If he smiled, Kurt would know it was fake, and he couldn't smile when Kurt looked so sad himself.

So they just alternately stared at each other and avoided eye contact. All he could say was Kurt's name (to be sure Kurt was actually there and he wasn't hallucinating,) and that he didn't expect to see him, because he didn't. And that was it. Finn showed up, thankfully, to shoulder half the awkwardness between himself and Rachel. Blaine let Finn talk. He nodded sometimes when Finn said something good. He wasn't really listening. And when Finn walked away, he followed him. It was strange. It was like there was a line dividing he and Finn from Rachel and Kurt, and no one could cross it. It was like they lived in different worlds, and Blaine belonged in Finn's; a world where it was more logical to follow Finn than to stay with Kurt.

And with that in mind, he went to sing his solo. He couldn't find Kurt in the audience at first, which was a good thing. Of course he didn't want to make eye contact with him from the stage. He'd probably forget his lines instantaneously if that happened. But he couldn't stop himself from looking.

He made his way down the stairs and tried just to stare at Sugar, and if his eyes wandered he tried to keep them on Kitty and the girls around him, or if need be, on the black hole in the back of the auditorium. But he was careless. He had it half in his head that maybe Kurt didn't even stay for the performance. Maybe all he wanted to do was stand awkwardly in the vicinity of Blaine and consider it closure. Maybe he left. So Blaine slid into the booth with Sugar, overconfident, and it was then that he saw Kurt. It seemed like he was about two feet away, and of course he and Rachel ended up being at the end of the row directly in front of the part of the booth Blaine was supposed to sit at. He almost forgot his lines. For one second. But he didn't. He faltered, and probably everyone noticed, but the performance wasn't ruined. He finished. As soon as the curtain closed and everyone rushed to change the set he ran to the bathroom and tried not to hyperventilate.

He knew he had to talk to him, and he knew he couldn't do it in front of Finn and Rachel, and the entire cast and crew of Grease. Kurt would at least stay the night at his parents' house. He couldn't stand it if he knew Kurt was so close, for so long, and they never said anything to each other.

He went backstage and listened to the rest of the show from behind. And when it was over he walked the halls of McKinley, determinedly looking for Kurt.

The first confrontation happened. Blaine tried to talk and Kurt apparently didn't want to listen. He told Blaine he didn't trust him anymore, and that he didn't feel like he was home anymore, which wasn't exactly shocking but was still painful to hear. It made Blaine shut up for a moment, and Kurt used the opportunity to walk away. But that wasn't the end. Blaine wouldn't let it be the end.

He followed Kurt and Rachel to the parking lot. "Kurt," Blaine called out to his back. "You have to talk to me."

Rachel stopped and tugged on Kurt's sleeve. "He's right," she said. "You're the one who wanted to come back so badly, you're the one who said you had to talk to him. You said you couldn't stand it anymore."

Blaine waited, but Kurt wouldn't even turn around. He just stood, frozen and silent, thinking.

"We can talk in my car," Blaine offered. "Or back inside, all of the classrooms are empty."

Kurt put a hand to his face. Blaine wondered if he was crying, but when he spoke his voice was strong and unwavering. "I can't, Blaine. I thought I could, but now that I see you, I can't. I can't even look at you."

He began walking again. Rachel looked back at Blaine helplessly, and followed him.

Blaine trailed them. "How can you sleep tonight, knowing that I'm a few minutes away, waiting for you, and missing you, and needing you to talk—"

But Kurt was climbing into Rachel's car fast, and he shut the door in the middle of Blaine's speech. He seemed to argue for a moment with Rachel, and finally she pulled out of the parking spot and drove them away, leaving Blaine standing there alone.

That might have been the end, but it still wasn't. Blaine settled into bed that night fully knowing he was never going to be able to sleep. His mind raced. He tried to text friends, but they all stopped responding eventually as they went to bed. At three or four in the morning he started to play mind numbing games on his phone, waiting for the sun to rise, waiting for another day to hurry up and arrive so he could try to start over again. And that was when he got a text from Kurt.

"Come to my dad's house if you're up," it said. "If you don't see this until morning, don't bother."

Blaine practically tripped over himself getting out of bed, rushing downstairs and climbing into his car. He didn't care if he'd woken up his parents and faced another grounding.

He sped to Kurt's house, or the house Kurt used to live in. He pulled up to the curb and saw Kurt standing on the porch in his coat and boots, like he'd been standing out in the cold for a while. Blaine moved to get out of the car, but Kurt held up a hand, indicating he should stay where he was, and began walking toward the car.

Blaine thought he'd get in the passenger seat. Maybe they'd finally talk, maybe they'd just drive around in silence. Maybe Kurt would tell him to drive to someplace neither of them had ever been before, a place where they could forget the past and start all over.

But Kurt passed around the front of the car and came up to Blaine's door. Blaine moved to pull the latch but Kurt opened the door himself. In the glint of streetlight that passed over Kurt's face before he climbed in onto Blaine's lap, he could see Kurt had been crying.

Half stunned, Blaine let Kurt sob into his shoulder for a while without moving or saying anything. The first thought that eventually came to him was that Kurt felt very cold. He gently shut the car door so their sides were snug against it and turned up the heat. Then he very tentatively put his arms around Kurt and held him close.

"I hate you," Kurt finally whispered in between sniffles. But he held on to Blaine as tight as he could. He even had his fingers curled in his hair.

"I know," Blaine said. He hated to hear it, but he wasn't sure if it would be better or worse if Kurt hadn't contacted him that night at all. If he was still sitting on his bed, wide awake, wondering what Kurt was doing or thinking, knowing how close he was. "Why were you standing outside for so long?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"I was thinking. I was trying to decide if I should call you. And waiting for you to get here."

"What if I was asleep and didn't come?"

"I knew you weren't asleep," Kurt cried, and his shoulders shook.

Blaine couldn't stand not doing something to comfort him, so without contemplating it for long, he pressed his lips to Kurt's throat and left kisses there, trailing up to his jaw. They weren't lust driven, and he had no intention except to try to calm Kurt down and get him to stop crying. Blaine wondered for a moment if Kurt might pull away and punch him, but instead he leaned into it. Blaine knew Kurt felt the same as he did, just then. They felt better, like the world made more sense, in each other's arms.

Finally Kurt pulled back a little, to look into Blaine's eyes. His own were red and small and sad. "Rachel said we shouldn't let you or Finn see us cry."

"I know I broke your heart, you don't have to try to hide it from me," Blaine told him. "If you acted like you were fine all the time, I'd know you were lying."

"I came back for closure," Kurt said. "So say something good. A finale. You're the one who tried to end it, so end it."

Blaine shook his head. "I don't think we can end it."

Kurt nodded. "But I am going to be fine." He looked Blaine straight in the eyes and said without hesitation, "I'm going to get over you."

Blaine didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to convincingly beg Kurt to change his mind, so he couldn't say anything.

"I just needed you for a second," Kurt said, wiping his tears with his hands. "I don't need you anymore."

He opened the door and unsteadily climbed off of Blaine's lap and back onto the pavement of the street.

"Wait," Blaine said. Kurt turned to look at him. "If… if we're going to try to be apart for a while, if that means you're going to try to be with someone else, you need to know something."

Kurt waited, his arms crossed over his chest.

"None of this was your fault. I didn't… I didn't cheat on you—" Blaine hated to keep saying the words, but they were true, weren't they? "—Because you weren't good enough. You were more than good enough, as a person, as a boyfriend, as a partner. It was entirely my fault. I just missed you so much that I thought I could try to replace you, just for a minute. It's because of how wonderful you are that I missed you so much. Not because you were inadequate. I spent so much time trying to convince you to believe in yourself, to be confident and stand up for yourself, and you need to stay that way. Don't let people walk all over you. Don't let anyone treat you like I treated you. And if anyone tries, you have to kick them out of your life. Immediately. Completely. And never look back. You're too good for… people like me."

Kurt gave no response to this except to start crying again. He shook his head and started walking back toward the house, hiding his mouth behind his hand.

"If you need me for a second… any time in the future… let me know," Blaine said, half climbing out of the car so Kurt could hear him better. "We both know we shouldn't see each other again, but we're not regular people. You're my soulmate. I think we're always going to need each other."

But Kurt was already climbing up the porch steps.

"I'll always be there for you," Blaine said finally.

Without turning around, Kurt called back, "Like you always have been."

And Blaine knew he was being sarcastic.