Starting from zero, we got nothing to lose.
*
Naruto let Sasuke take his hand and lead him out to the dance floor while he tried to forget what had just happened, and also tried not to think about how it would feel when the dance would be over, and Sasuke gone.
Time would just have to stay still, this moment was the only thing existing right now.
He let his hand rest lightly on Sasuke's shoulder and involuntarily closed his eyes for a second when the man in question touched his waist. This was another memory to add in his collection of Sasuke-memories, where the most stand out memory was when he had received the most rushed and light kiss on the cheek in the mess when everybody said goodbye to Tenten and her husband after their wedding.
Everybody had kissed the bride and groom, and what could be more natural in the confusion then to accidentally kiss the best man? Sasuke had smirked and let out a small chuckle at him when he blushed, and answered by giving him a kiss on the cheek.
Naruto could still close his eyes and remember the feeling, the smell of his after shave…
"Mr. Uzumaki?"
"Oh, Sorry! I was just thinking and minding my steps." Naruto quickly came up with a white lie to hide his previous thoughts. He just couldn't waste a moment in Sasuke's arms by thinking of the past, for the present right now was important.
The music quickened its pace and they danced. Naruto realized that they danced as if they had practiced together for many years. Uchiha Sasuke was tall, but his length together with his strength and coordination made them really well-matched and they moved effortlessly with a simple elegance that made him breathless.
"You are a very good dancer Mr. Uzumaki," Sasuke looked down in the blondes sparkling aquamarine blue eyes. Naruto was no longer the mischievous and clumsy schoolboy he remembered. He hadn't even remembered him at first, to be honest. But now when the color had returned to his face and his bright eyes glowed with energy, he realized that he had a most charming young man in his arms.
`Who or what had made him so upset?´Sasuke wondered and felt an almost chivalrous desire to put the one responsible to justice.
"Thank you, Colonel, but I believe that it is all thanks to you. Do you often go to proms or parties when you're out in the fields?" Naruto was well aware that he had to small talk as much as possible, as they looked each other in the face as they did so. He tried to memorize every line, every change that took place when he talked or smiled or frowned: His very dark eyes, how his lips quirked when he was amused, the smell of him and his after shave…
Sasuke swept him around and pulled him closer to avoid another couple who sailed ahead across the floor. Naruto was strongly aware of the warmth from Sasuke's body when he was suddenly pressed against him. After the couple had passed them they continued to dance with a respectable distance from each other.
"Parties?" he pondered over the question. "Yes, surprisingly enough. I suppose we take every opportunity we get, and since a lot of officers bring their wife's and husbands when the circumstances allow it, we often arrange spontaneous proms, especially when we stayed over winter in Portugal."
"And the duke encourages such activities?" Naruto asked. When they whirled trough the crowds he was able to catch a glimpse of his mother's astonished face. He felt wonderfully carefree about everything. This was the reality and the music would never end. This was not a dream and Sasuke would never leave.
"Yes. The Duke enjoys parties and proms and says that they could do us good." Sasuke let out one of his small smirks.
"Isn't it true that he consider his officers as his family?"
"Well, you know a lot about the Duke, Mr. Uzumaki. Are you one of his dedicated admirers? I have never known such a man as him, maybe with a few exceptions for y brother Itachi, who has a similar gift to attract peoples admiration. The rest of us never stood a chance to flirt around as soon as the duke was around."
"No, not like that. I have never even met him." It's was better not to think that Sasuke wanted to `flirt around´. "But he is very good in tactics and strategies, isn't he?"
He saw that Sasuke was taken aback, cause he gave him a questioning look as he raised one of his eyebrows.
"Yes indeed, but that is a question I would have expected from your brother Kyuubi, not from you, Mr. Uzumaki."
Naruto was about to ask him why not, but remembered that Sasuke probably only remembered the young and mischievous little brat who would sit in the corner and listen while he told stories and memories to Kyuubi.
"I'm only curious about the matter." He answered lightly and wished that he had the guts to ask Sasuke about his time overseas and everything, but he knew that it would be too personal about the matter, and didn't want to be too obvious about his interest either.
And then the music ended. Sasuke let go of Naruto and they both politely clapped their hands while they left the dance floor. Naruto could still feel a burning sensation where Sasuke had touched him, they felt so sensitive. His hands started to tremble again.
"Mr. Uzumaki, Would you give me the honor of the next dance?" It was Akimichi Chouji who stood there and looked hopeful. "And now when you have changed your mind about dancing the waltz, maybe I can hope for one soon?"
Well, Mr. Uzumaki." Uchiha Sasuke bowed slightly his head at Naruto and then to Chouji. "Akimichi." He gave Naruto a reassuring smile and a look that said that he looked much better now. "Thank you for the dance."
And then he was gone, disappeared among the other guests. He searched for him and saw the back of his head for a second. He slowly realized that all he had lived for for the past three years and all his hopes and dreams were crumbling and grinding into dust.
"Thank you, lord Akimichi." He turned towards Chouji and gave him a big grin. "I would love to have the next waltz with you, but right now I would like to have a glass of champagne."
To his mother's dismay, and to his friends' horrified and envious admiration, Naruto danced all the waltzes and most of the other dances too. He politely declined some, but only to drink another five glasses or so of champagne and then be escorted to the dinner table by lord Kakuzu, a really notorious player and gold digger. The cherry on the top was when Naruto ended the evening by being found standing alone on the balcony with Mr. Hidan.
"I must immediately inform you Kushina," The haughty woman turned to Naruto's mother who anxiously had searcher for her son the past twenty minutes. "At first I didn't believe my eyes," She continued, and you could see that she could barely contain her glee over the fact that she had found such a virtuous young man with one of the town's most notorious player. "But I guess I don't need to remind you, Mrs Uzumaki, that Mr. Hidan is the last person I would want to find one of my children spending time with."
The last remark was pointed to Kushina's back, since Naruto's upset mother didn't hesitate before she hurried towards the doors who led outside to the balcony.
It had not bothered her that Naruto could be out there, but when he stood and leaned against the balcony's rail in the moonlight and laughed up at Mr. Hidan, who stood waay too close, and at the same time Kushina moved towards them she could see how Mr. Hidan leaned his face closer to…
"Naruto!" Her almost deceived son left his attention from the man and turned it to his mother with his customary elegance and without a shred of guilt showing on his face.
Mr. Hidan on the other hand gave Kushina's terrifying face a quick glance before he bowed and almost dashed away from there.
"Naruto!" Kushina repeated with a tone that showed that she couldn't believe her eyes. "What is the meaning of this? You have flirted all around the place, danced all the waltzes and to top it all I find you out here with such a notorious man! And as if that weren't bad enough it was that Gossip lady who told me where I could find you,- and with who."
Naruto just shrugged his shoulders. "I was bored."
"Bored!" Uzumaki Kushina narrowed her eyes. "Do you miss or lack something, Naruto? First your stubbornness earlier this morning and now this…"
"Miss something? Yeah, I guess so, but there is no cure against that." Naruto answered lightly. He felt very strange. The paralyzing pain over the loss of Sasuke was somewhere deep inside of him where he didn't have to deal with it yet, but on top was a slightly nauseating feeling of excitement, the beginning of a terrible headache and a suspicion of that nothing would ever matter again.
His mother took Naruto's arm in a tight grip and started to drag him towards the door. "We are going home this instance."
"Come on, mum, I can't." Naruto protested. "I promised to dance the next waltz with.."
"Nobody. We're going home and are going straight to bed" Kushina said in an almost bitter tone.
****,Naru****,****,****,****Sasu,****,****,****,** **,****,****,****GothLoli**
A terrible headache awaited Naruto the next day when he woke up, following by a hollow feeling where all his hopes and plans had been.
Naruto massaged his aching head and realized that he probably was suffering from a hangover due to too much champagne. How much had he been drinking? He dizzily counted up to eight drinks. Was it possible that he had been drinking that much? He remembered that he had been dragged away from the prom by his mother who had excused them from her friends. He could still hear her excuses ringing in his head: `I'm afraid that the heat has given him a terrible migraine.´ But the ride home was cloudy, he only had vague memories of being scolded, cursed to oblivion and then thrown straight to his bed in his room as soon as they entered their home.
`Oh my god, my head hurts! It feels like its split in two!´ The door opened and his mother came in with a cup of tea in her hands.
"So you're awake now?" she gave Naruto a bitter glance while he struggled up in a sitting position among his pillows. "I brought you some tea." She placed the cup in Naruto's hands and went over to pull away the curtains without taking any notice to her son's anguished groan when the sunrays flooded in and hit him in the face.
"Well, what do you have to say to your defense, Naruto?"
"Have you told anything to father?" Naruto thankfully took a sip of his tea. His mouth felt like a desert and his stomach turned when he caught a whiff of the vague scent of the breakfast downstairs.
"No, I haven't." Kushina said. "Your father is very busy at the moment and I don't want to add more worries on him besides your refusal to accept Lord Sai yesterday. But to do that I need a very clear and satisfying explanation to what happened."
"Champagne." Naruto reluctantly admitted. "I had no idea that it would affect me so." He looked at his angry mother. "It tasted harmless and not strong at all."
"Champagne? No wonder why you behaved like you did. Have I not warned you over and over again to not drink anything other than lemonade or ice water?"
"Yes. I'm sorry." `I'm sorry I drank so much. Next time I know better, Next time I will only take one glass or two to experience that wonderful bubbly feeling…´
"I have considered forbidding you to attend the upcoming parties until we leave town to visit Tenten and lord Neji over the summer," Kushina continued. "But I don't want to start any more gossips by letting you disappear from society, especially since I know the earl will be in town for at least another two more weeks. Luckily there will only be smaller parties for the rest of the month. I hope that the headache I'm sure you have will teach you a lesson."
Lady Kushina rose from the bed and walked to the door.
"I must say, Naruto, That I am very disappointed. I was so proud of you. I hope that this was just a one-time accident. When it comes to Lord Sai I will tell him that you are not feeling well and can't be visited for a day or two."
With those last ominous words his mother left and closed the door after her and Naruto curled himself into a hard ball of misery and let some devastated tears roll silently down his cheeks. After a while he pulled himself together and wiped away his tears with a feeling of guilt after he had been scolded. It was very nice of his mother to not punish him for what had happened and what he'd done, and he appreciated it.
And it seemed as if drinking and too much partying only made a person nauseous and queasy the other day. Maybe he should return to his normal behaviour, if so to only stop his mother from sounding so hurt again.
But of course it was a hopeless situation. He was twenty years old and sat on an ice throne. You usually married at age eighteen. Could he stand to get married to another person when he knew that his heart would always belong to Sasuke?
Even if the world had changed centuries ago and now loved and welcomed marriages with the same gender as much as the opposite, he knew that he wouldn't yearn or love anyone else in the slightest way like he did for Sasuke. In any way, they say an unmarried young person has to behave modest and graceful, so he could just as well continue as he always had done.
SasuNaruSasuNaru SasuNaruSasuNaru SasuNaruSasuNaru
His good behavior only lasted two days, all the way to the party at Lady Inuzuka and Naruto's next meeting with the earl. Mrs. Inuzuka's events was always popular, even if this one,- she even admitted it herself to Mrs. Uzumaki and the other Ladies as the evening went,- fell somewhat flat after the great one at the Duchess. Kushina, who still couldn't think about that night without shuddering, agreed but pointed out that a lot of things must feel disappointing after such a grand party.
Her son could feel it clearly. To behave impeccably at the same time as he know many of the present people had seen him act the exact opposite way was making him feel distressed. He tried not to think that they all whispered behind his back, but couldn't get rid of the feeling completely.
It all became much worse when he found out that Lady Haruno Sakura were among some other ladies in the corner of the big room.
Naruto had never got to know Lady Sakura very well, and now she stood in a group of friends who spoke and giggled among each other. Very aware that he would come to regret this, but unable to resist, Naruto silently walked towards them and seated himself to the group next to them so he could hear what they talked about without them knowing.
He could hear more giggling and chuckling and some surprised gasps before a young man talked.
"Colonel Uchiha? Sakura, you sly fox! What does your father say about this?"
"Well, since it's Sasuke we're talking about he can't say much in the matter. He has always been against it, but Sasuke is a very persuasive man."
"Oh Sakura, you must be so happy! I saw him at the duchess party and he was so handsome and striking!"
Naruto was already walking away from there. Sasuke had Apparently asked lord Haruno, the marquis of Olney, if he could marry Sakura, and the marquis had approved. Now the only thing left was to wait for their announcement. He could barely breathe right now.
Naruto took a glass of champagne from a tray that a waiter walked by with and took a defiant gulp of it before he realized that the earl, lord Sai had entered the room and was welcomed by the hostess. Naruto carefully took a step back and tried to hide behind a large plant, but it was too late. He must have asked for him, because Mrs. Inuzuka scanned the room and nodded to Naruto's direction.
While he muttered about his so-called perfect length, (it wasn't short enough to be shorter than the ladies, but he also was a little shorter than average for men, but apparently he was too tall for the plant.) Naruto put down his empty glass on a table and prepared to make the best out of the situation. After all, he could hardly ask for his hand in marriage in the middle of a party, could he?
He saw him come closer trough the room and compared him critically to Sasuke. Sai was a little taller than average with an elegant figure and a handsome, but slightly fake, face. His hair was dark and he had dark grey eyes, and Naruto suspected that Sai knew himself just how attractive he was. He was also impeccably dressed in a somewhat stiff, but popular fashion.
Sai and Sasuke were a bit similar in their colors, but it ended there.
Compared to Sasuke's tall, muscular figure, confident way and subdued humor, Sai just fell flat in his eyes. Without knowing why he also thought that Sai gave out a cruel impression. His eyes flickered quickly over Naruto as he approached, and he once again got an uncomfortable feeling that Sai maybe was more interested in his body than what was appropriate.
"Milord." He bowed gracefully when Sai arrived by his side.
"Always so formal, Mr. Uzumaki." He took Naruto's hand and leaned down to kiss it. Naruto quickly snatched his hand away from Sai's face and hoped that his unconventional greeting wouldn't attract any attention.
"Milord!"
"Oh come on, Naruto." He joined their arms by grabbing Naruto's elbow and started to slowly walk along the room. "How come you keep the greeting so formal to an old friend, even if we just recently met again?"
"We were hardly friends, milord." He answered in a low tone and wondered if he could break free his elbow, or if it would turn out to an embarrassing struggle. "If I don't remember it correctly you saw me as an annoying brat. And I saw you as an asshole."
"But now you're a beautiful young man and I am only an eager admirer at your feet."
"Please, Lord Sai, don't flirt with me. I'm not in the mood for it." He searched through the room, looking for somewhere to escape. "Ah look, there are lord Kimmimaro. Have you met him? He has an extraordinary collection of different bones and full skeletons from various animals. I'm sure that he really wants to meet you."
"But I don't have the slightest desire to meet him." Sai's hand touched Naruto below his ribs and he could feel it through the fabric of his clothes.
Only a few days ago there had been Sasuke's hand that had rested there.
"Naruto, when will you allow me to speak with you?"
"What do you mean? You are speaking with me right now. Oh, god evening Shino! How is it with your mother?
Sai steered Naruto away from his friend with an irritated sigh. "That's not what I meant, and you know it Naruto. Your parents would love to see you and me in an engagement."
Naruto wondered if he had the courage to turn him down right here and now and risk making a scene, But Sai's Dark eyes sparkled dangerously and Naruto suddenly felt afraid of what Sai was capable of doing.
"I know, But this is going too fast, lord Sai. We barely know each other."
He suddenly smiled, but his attractive smile and features didn't reach his eyes at all.
"What Modesty! I know what I want, Naruto, and I make sure to get what I want. I am very fond of beautiful things, and my collection means a lot to me. And I don't think that I have many rivals to fight against. I've heard the rumors ever since I returned to London. It seems that a Mr. Uzumaki is very picky and turns everyone down, both women and men. Do you think that anyone will continue to court you and risk to get turned down as well?"
"In that case I'm very surprised that you take that risk." Naruto answered dryly and kept the nauseating feeling of people gossiping about him back.
"But I said that I get what I want, and I want you, Naruto. Just think about it, the triumph of being able to get the perfect debutant, the Perfect young man who had turned so many people down. You will be wonderful as my mate at my manor. I will be visiting you soon. But now some gentlemen awaits me for a game of cards. God evening, my dear."
While Naruto watched him saunter back and smile to say goodbye to the hostess, he wanted to scream and smash his glass against the wall and do many other unthinkable things, but only the dark glitter that shone in his eyes revealed his deepest thoughts.
Somewhere deep inside of him a boy woke up. The boy he was before he met Sasuke. Older? Yes. More socially trained and polished? Yes. But still with that rebel fire roaring, his adventurous spirit came to life once more and stared out to a hostile world with new, defiant eyes.
SasuNaruSasuNaru SasuNaruSasuNaru SasuNaruSasuNaru SasuNaruSasuNaru.
The next day while he was taking a walk in Hyde Park with one of his mothers, and sometimes his own, chambermaid he saw a neat wagon come towards them on the road. The one holding the reins was no other than Lady Haruno Sakura, with a delightful hat on her bubblegum pink head and a beautiful midnight blue day dress. She was laughing enthusiastically while she controlled the two horses with flicks and pulls from her hands.
With a jolt Naruto did not only realized that the man next to her was Uchiha Sasuke, but he also had one of his hands over Sakura's on the reins and was also laughing lightly at her joy.
They swept past Naruto and for a moment he thought that they hadn't seen him, but then the horses slowed down abruptly and started togo backwards. Naruto could hear Sasuke's voice.
"You have to hold your hands lower, Sakura, for god's sake! You have to make the two of them walk in harmony backwards, not try to make them jump over the fences!"
The wagon came alongside Naruto just as Sasuke with an unmistakable pride said: "Good girl! I told you that you could do it. Good morning, Mr. Uzumaki. I am sorry, but we passed before I recognized you. I hope that your family is well?" His eyes asked something else and Naruto felt a wave of emotions and warmth over that he did not only remember that he had been upset, but that he was tactful enough to not mention it in front of lady Sakura.
"I couldn't be better, Colonel." He answered and was amazed over his composed self. "We are all doing fine."
"Excellent. Do you and Lady Sakura know each other?"
"Oh yes, we do," Lady Sakura said with a small laugh. "We know each other by our faces and names, isn't that right Mr. Uzumaki? And Of course I have seen you on my Aunts prom" As most of the other from this society has, her facial expression added while her eyes was on Naruto. It was obvious the she didn't like that another debutant attracted the Colonels attention.
"That's right." Naruto could feel how his leather gloves squeaked as he clenched his fists. "And I saw you. What a beautiful dress you have. Have a good day and a pleasant ride, Lady Haruno, Colonel."
He forced himself to smile while he turned his heels around and started to walk back home again. Nothing mattered anymore, the only thing he could do was to embrace every diversion that came his way so that he wouldn't have any time to think about Sasuke.
His mother noticed his sons silence and gloomy appearance with a worried frown when he returned, but in a matter of few days she discovered that her son's unwillingness to communicate was the least of her problems.
When two weeks had passed, the list of scandalous behavior from her charming, delightful, obedient and perfect son included that he had flirted with every man and woman he had met, played card and dice games alone with three other young gentlemen in a private room at a party, galloped down the Rotten Row and eaten Ice cream with lord Akimichi after he said he had "lost" his chambermaid, all this and also happened to conveniently avoid Lord Sai every time he went to visit.
His mother had have enough. Everything together had led to Lord Minato into action. That resulted in a painful conversation. Naruto was forbidden to attend at parties until they left to visit Tenten in two weeks, and also had to endure the humiliation of not being allowed to leave at all if his mother didn't tag along.
"I don't understand what's going on." His father Minato exclaimed with more sadness than anger. "At your age you're mother had already got married, had children and was the ruler of a large household, while you act like a sixteen-year-old child who doesn't know any better. Lord Sai will soon lose his patience with you, and if he knows about your shameful moves and acts he will also lose his interest for you."
All alone in his room he pondered about the lecture he received from his father with little remorse. He was too numb to put any more effort into it, even if his hopes of driving away Sai gave him a small glimpse of joy.
Sadly enough had all his moves and adventures not helped to distract his mind from constantly returning to the thought of Sasuke. But this was at least a bit stimulating instead of dryly fading away and become an old sorrowful man, which seemed to be the only alternative to an unwanted marriage.
Therefore nothing could stop Naruto from his plans for the night. His plans contained the plans of leaving the house through the backdoor after they thought that he had fallen asleep, and meet up with his old friend Yamanaka Ino. Three nights before this one they had met each other at a reception and Ino had announced that she wanted to attend the masquerade ball at Vauxhall Gardens. And she was sure that Naruto would have much fun there as well.
Mrs. Uzumaki didn't like Ino, she saw her as shallow and too easy going, but as far as she knew, Ino and Naruto had never been very close, and therefore it would be unlikely that Lady Ino would mislead her son. And the thought of them going to Vauxhall for a masquerade was far from Mrs. Uzumaki's imagination.
With the mask haning in one of his hands, Naruto snuck out and was picked up by Ino's wagon flawlessly.
No one would know a thing, and he had always wanted to go to a masquerade.