With just two more weeks of school left Professor McGonagall had put up the signup sheet for those who were going to stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas Holiday Break. Harry once more felt depressed at the thought of spending Christmas away from his family. It was true that they'd managed to send him presents and movies for him to watch but it wasn't the same.
He wanted nothing more than to transform into his animagus form and fly home, or well part of the way home and be flown by helicopter the rest of the way. Maybe he could catch a ride on the train in animagus form or under his cloak, then fly home. It should only take a few hours to get there from the Train Station.
By now Harry was certain about his Animagus form, the Western Eurasian Jackdaw, Coloeus monedula spermologus, a member of the crow family. He was currently in the stage of reading everything that had ever been written about Crows and specifically the Western Eurasian Jackdaw. It was interesting material, he told himself.
It may have been a lie.
Reading about ancient hunting habits of pests, or animals thought to be pests, could be rather dull.
He was pulled from his fantasies of flying by Ron informing them that Malfoy and his goons were staying for the holidays which they all agreed was suspicious. Hermione immediately signed her name on the sheet, then Ron, then finally, reluctantly, Harry did as well.
They all agreed that, since the potion would be ready by then they would question them over break. Luckily that very morning the last of the ingredients had arrived and Hermione could be put off her frankly disturbing desire to rob Professor Snape.
He didn't tell them that the employee, he didn't know for a fact that they were a researcher, had had to go down Knockturn Alley and had almost been eaten by a hag. The woman who had been chosen had extensive experience with knife combat, which was why she had been chosen. Luckily it wasn't against the law to kill a hag trying to eat you and the Aurors had sent her on her way, not even questioning why they never saw her wand. Mercifully after showing she meant business she hadn't been waylaid by anyone, or anything, else.
Before they left to go work on the potion Harry noticed a group of kids hanging around a new sign on the corkboard.
"Ron," he prompted the one who was both the tallest and had the pointiest elbows.
Sighing good-naturedly the boy waded into the fray and soon came back to announce that there was a Dueling Club that was starting up.
"Sounds like a good idea," Harry said thoughtfully.
"What," he asked, "you think the monster in the chamber will be willing to duel you?"
Harry laughed, "It'll be good to know new spells in any case."
Ron laughingly agreed as Harry mourned the fact that he was going to lose out on even more time to study his animagus form.
That night they arrived at the Great Hall to find all of the tables gone and in the middle was a great dueling platform.
"Who do you reckon will be teaching it," Ron asked.
"I don't know," Harry said, "so long as it's not-"
A sigh of happiness went around the girls of the room as Professor Lockhart entered.
The man was an unearthly shade of pale, so pale in fact that you could tell he was wearing blush, not that this seemed to deter any of the women in the room.
Despite his sickly complexion, he strutted into the room followed closely by Professor Snape.
Harry groaned and Hermione swatted him, not even taking her eyes off of them.
Lockhart waved for silence and began to speak, but it was so soft that he had to cast a sonorous spell to be heard.
"Gather round! Gather round!" his soft voice boomed across the room. "Can everyone see me? Hear me? Excellent."
"Headmaster Dumbledore has given me permission to start this club to teach you to defend yourselves if you ever need to, as I have done countless times – see my published works."
He gestured to Professor Snape, "Allow me to introduce my humble assistant. He says he knows a tiny bit about dueling and he's agreed to assist me by showing off a mock duel."
With that, the two turned to face one another. Lockhart gave a large bow with a tip of his hat while Snape only inclined his head. They drew their wands and pointed them at one another, Lockhart in a slightly complicated fashion that made it look like he was going to drop his wand and Snape with no fanfare.
"Note that we are holding our wands in the approved combat positions and on three we will cast at each other. We will not be aiming to kill." He joked weakly.
With that, he counted back from three.
On one Snape loudly said, "Expelliarmus," shooting off a brilliant crimson jet at Lockhart who was thrown backward to slam against the wall.
"Do you think he's all right?" Hermione asked.
"Who cares?" Ron asked, Harry, nodding in agreement.
He lay there unmoving for several silent moments before someone moved closer and nudged him.
Frowning Professor Snape cast another spell, this time saying "Rennervate," and shooting off a blue beam. Despite hitting Professor Lockhart and causing him to jerk he didn't stir. Snape took a few steps towards him, looking concerned, but suddenly the Professor jerked and Snape stopped.
It took a nearby student helping him to his feet to get Professor Lockhart up and moving again and even once he waved the fifth-year Hufflepuff away he still looked unsteady on his feet.
Harry felt a bit bad acting like he didn't care about his well-being. It was clear that Professor Lockhart was ill.
Now that he thought about it this was the second ill defense professor they'd had. Maybe the position really was cursed.
The horrifying thought occurred to him that perhaps Lockhart was possessed by Voldemort too.
No, surely not.
Lockhart went to speak but the Sonorous Charm had worn off and he had to recast before announcing that they could all pair up and try to disarm each other. "Disarm only," the man muttered faintly.
"We'll be pairing you up," Snape added, a touch of concern still evident in his voice.
Lockhart paired Neville with Justin Finch-Fletchley but Snape got to Harry and Ron first.
"Time to split up the dream team, I think," he sneered. "Weasley you can partner with Finnigan. Potter-"
Harry automatically moved towards Hermione.
"I don't think so," said Snape, smiling coldly. "Mr. Malfoy, come over here. Let's see what you can make of the famous Potter. And you Miss. Granger – you can partner with Miss. Bulstrode."
Malfoy strutted over, smirking, clearly thinking he was going to win. Behind him walked a Slytherin girl who reminded Harry of a picture he'd seen in Holiday with Hags. She was large and square and her heavy jaw jutted aggressively. Hermione gave a weak smile that she did not return.
"Face your partners," said Lockhart once more on the platform with a sonorous charm up. "And bow."
Harry bowed slightly but Malfoy only inclined his head, not willing to take his eyes off of Harry.
"Wands at the ready! When I count to three, cast your charms to Disarm your opponents – only to disarm them – we don't want any accidents."
On one Harry swung his wand high but Malfoy had already cast at two. His spell hit so hard he stumbled backward, but everything still seemed to be working, and, wasting no more time, Harry pointed his wand straight at Malfoy and shouted, "Expelliarmus!"
Malfoy's wand was yanked from his hand and Harry fumbled as he caught it.
"I said Disarm only!" Lockhart exclaimed and Harry glanced around to see both Neville and Justin lying on the floor, panting.
Before he could take any more in Malfoy was practically on top of him, "Give me my wand back Potter."
Harry awkwardly did as he was told only to immediately regret it as Malfoy cast "Taratallegra!" and a moment later Harry's legs began to jerk around out of his control in a quickstep.
"Stop! Stop!" Lockhart exclaimed weakly but Snape took control and shouted, "Finite Incantatem!"
A greenish smoke was hovering over the scene; Harry's legs stopped moving, Ron was holding up an ashen-faced Seamus but Hermione and Millicent were still moving. Millicent had Hermione in a headlock and Hermione was whimpering in pain, both their wands lay forgotten on the floor. Harry leaped forward and pulled Millicent off of her. It was difficult, she was a lot bigger than he was.
"Dear, dear," Lockhart said softly, wringing his hands and he walked around helping people up.
"I think we'd better teach you how to block unfriendly spells," Lockhart almost whimpered. He looked flustered standing amid the hall. He glanced at Snape, whose eyes glinted with malice, then quickly looked away. "Let's have a volunteer pair – Longbottom and Finch-Fletchley, how about you-"
"A bad idea," Professor Snape interrupted, "Longbottom causes devastation with the simplest of spells. We'll be left sending Finch-Fletchley up in a matchbox." Neville's face went pink. "How about Malfoy and Potter?" asked Snape with a twisted smile.
"Excellent idea," Lockhart agreed and gestured for them to join him.
"Now, Harry," said Lockhart, "When Draco points his wand at you, you do this." He raised his own wand, attempted a complicated twirling action, and dropped it. "Oh dear," he muttered.
Snape moved closer to Malfoy, bent down, and whispered something in his ear. Malfoy smirked too. Harry looked nervously back up at Lockhart and said, "Professor, could you show me that blocking spell again?"
Lockhart just cuffed him on the arm and said, "Just do what I did!"
"What, drop my wand?"
But Lockhart wasn't listening.
He counted down from three and Malfoy raised his wand quickly, bellowing, "Serpensortia!"
The end of his wand exploded. Harry watched, aghast, as a long black snake shot out of it, fell heavily onto the floor between them, then raised itself, ready to strike. There were screams as the crowd backed away swiftly, clearing the floor.
"Don't move Potter," said Snape lazily, clearly enjoying the sight of Harry standing motionless, eye to eye with the angry snake. "I'll get rid of it…"
"Allow me," Lockhart interrupted.
He brandished his wand at the snake and there was a loud bang. The snake, instead of vanishing, flew ten feet into the air and fell back to the floor with a loud smack. Enraged and hissing furiously, it slithered straight toward Justin Finch-Fletchley and raised itself again, fangs exposed, poised to strike.
Harry wasn't sure what made him do it. He wasn't even aware of deciding to do it. All he knew was that his legs were carrying him forward as though he was on casters and that he shouted stupidly at the snake, "Leave him alone!" And miraculously, inexplicably, the snake slumped to the floor, docile as a thick, black garden hose, its eyes now on Harry. Harry felt the fear drain out of him. He knew the snake wouldn't attack him now.