I just want to apologise for how long an update took me, I've been on 2 holidays and still writing but it was all on my phone that temporarily died so I've had to do it all again alongside a job and dissertation! Hopefully no updates will have a gap as long as that now.

Thank you again for your continued support and reading and reviewing, but please don't stop! I love to hear what people think!

Enjoy!

P.S I don't own glee or the characters.

Ch 8. I don't want anymore heartbreak, I'm Tired of the Sound it Makes

Finn's eyes widened as he heard Blaine say it. His heart began to beat faster. Did he mean it? Finn had been so sure of his feelings but now, now there was this big word being thrown into the mix. Finn panicked a little. It felt good hearing it, and he willed the same words to fall from his mouth but they wouldn't. Blaine knew what the silence meant. He knew Finn's eyes would be wide, and his tongue would feel knotted, so he interrupted.
"Blaine...I…" Before Finn could continue, Blaine interjected.
"Sorry, Finn. I have to go." Blaine said quietly but the tone in his voice had changed. Even without the response he wanted, he felt light as a feather. The line went silent and Finn pulled his phone away from his ear. His eyebrows were knitted together but the corner of his mouth was curled up into a smile. He liked hearing Blaine say that.

Blaine woke when the sun was coming up and beginning to stream through the windows of the common room. He was still curled into a ball on the sofa, wearing his Dalton uniform. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust and realise he wasn't in his own bed.
"Shit." He breathed, stretching his body as he stood up and stumbled to his own bedroom. When he gently opened the door and went inside, he was surprised to find Sebastian was awake, sitting at his laptop.
"Why are you awake?" Blaine yawned as he toe-ed his shoes off, unbuttoned his shirt, took his trousers off and slipped into bed in his white t-shirt and checked boxers.
"I have a paper due, so instead of staying up late, I decided to get up early." Sebastian spun around in his chair.
"And you? Where have you been?" Sebastian rolled the chair over to the side of Blaine's bed and kicked his feet up, resting them on Blaine's butt, whose head was nestled firmly in his pillow to stop the light creeping into his eyes.
"I fell asleep in the common room." His voice muffled.
"I thought you might have gone back to Lima with lover-boy."
Blaine groaned, he wanted nothing more than to sleep. As comfy as those couches were for sitting on, they were not a great place to get a good night's rest.
"Nope. I couldn't sleep last night, so I went to the common room for a while, but fell asleep."
Sebastian smiled wickedly and nodded. "Of course." He said. He removed his feet from Blaine's bed and went back to tapping away at his laptop.

Finn opened his eyes slowly and turned over. "Morning." A quiet familiar voice from next to him said. Finn looked over at the boy snuggled up in the duvet, his eyes were shut, and his mouth curled upwards into a smile, his hair a curly mess. Blaine shifted his body towards Finn and curled his small frame into Finn's much bigger body. It felt like a perfect fit. Finn rested his head on the top of Blaine's and breathed steadily, contentment flooding over him. Blaine smelt like sleep and the remnants of yesterday's aftershave and he looked incredible in the morning. Finn squeezed his arms tighter around him humming gently into his hair. Slowly, Finn fell back to sleep, a smile still on his face.
He woke up again half an hour later and sat up quickly, looking around the room. He let out a heavy sigh as he realised it had been a cruel dream. He checked his phone for the time and suddenly remembered speaking to Blaine last night. Blaine had dropped the L bomb. Blaine had said it and Finn hadn't said it back. Does he text him or ignore him now or what? He flicked through his phone to his texts and noticed one he hadn't read, well not whilst in a conscious state anyway. Finn had a tendency to read texts whilst half asleep and forget they exist, it had gotten him in trouble a few times.
"Hi. I'm sorry I dropped that on you last night but I meant it and I can't take it back now. I'll give you time to think. Call or text me whenever you want. Bx"
Finn threw his body backwards into the mattress and lay there staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, until he had to push his body up and get ready for school.

Finn arrived at school with Kurt, who he hadn't been able to look in the eye all morning. The first strange thing he noticed was how people weren't staring at him when he walked down the hall to his locker. He wasn't pushed into anything, and he had managed to keep his shirt clean and dry all day. Karofsky had thrown a few slurs at him, along with his meathead friends, but when Finn had responded and told them to back off, they had. He'd spent lunchtime in the library studying and avoiding Kurt and Quinn. His day was just like it had been a week ago, before Blaine had showed up. He knew high school moved fast but he wasn't expecting to be forgotten about that quickly. When he walked into the choir room that afternoon, Artie called him over. He had his phone out and was showing Tina and Mercedes a Youtube video. It was of a guy Finn recognised from around the school. He looked dead serious and was talking to the camera about mythic creatures and looking for a mate, and then from underneath a desk he pulled out a wolf mask, put it on and began howling. Artie and Tina began laughing, clutching their sides and almost falling over. Mercedes looked at the screen, her face just a picture of confusion. Then it hit Finn. This poor guy, who had some sort of thing for wolves, was now the one who everyone wanted to shove into lockers and waste their ice cold drinks on. It also explained why Finn had heard people howling every now and then. He felt a guilty sense of relief wash over him. He slowly shook his head and walked to a seat at the back. Mercedes looked at him pointedly from her seat nearer the front. She shook her head slowly and turned around, and Finn suddenly recalled the conversation they had before he'd gotten in Quinn's car. He made a mental note to speak to Mercedes or avoid her totally, he wasn't sure yet. Slowly members began to filter in. Kurt bounded in, waved at Finn and then sat in the front row, next to his competition. Quinn came in with Santana and Brittany flagging her sides, she briefly made eye-contact with him, and then sat in her seat. Rachel entered just in front of Mr Schue flipping her hair and grinning with confidence, until she looked at Finn and a sombre look spread across her face. He should probably get around to talking to her and clearing things up a little too. He nodded to himself as Mr Schuester began to speak.

"Okay guys. I've had a real hard think." Mr Schue bounced on the balls of his feet and clapped his hands. Finn watched as everyone who cared leaned further forward in their seats, willing Mr Schuester to spit out what he was going to say. Instead of saying anymore, he grabbed a pile of papers off of the top of the piano and began to hand them round. Rachel's face fell as she read it.

"Mr S. There's a typo here. I only have one duet? Where's my solo? Should that say Rachel instead of Mercedes?" She shook her head in disbelief and Mercedes and Kurt squealed and flew at each other to hug. Quinn and Santana sat with smug looks on their faces. Finally the paper got round to Finn and he looked at it.
Order:
1st. Duet- Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel: Tammi Terrell and Marvin Gaye- You're all I need to get by.

2nd. Group-Leads: Santana Lopez and Quinn Fabray: Dionne Warwick/ Burt Bacharach Medley.

3rd. Solo- Mercedes Jones: Aretha Franklin- Ain't no way.

Finn smiled at the list. He was glad his name was nowhere on it, and that for once everyone who wanted to was being allowed to showcase their talent. Maybe it was because he had taken a step back this competition? He didn't care anyway, and he took pleasure in seeing how happy his friends were.

Finn was so used to being one of the ones rushing around, being choreographed and practicing that he felt like a total spare wheel. He watched Mike and Brittany begin choreographing the second number with most of the group then wandered into the opposite classroom with Tina, who was measuring them all for their outfits, and listened to Kurt and Rachel begin practicing their song for a while. Mercedes opened the door gently as Kurt and Rachel were beginning to argue about a few notes and waved at Finn. He looked at her in confusion then pointed to himself. She nodded, so he hopped off the table and followed her. She began to walk quickly down the hallway and talk over her shoulder as Finn jogged to catch up.
"I want you to come listen to me. I need some advice about the sound in the auditorium."
"Okay…" Finn said. He had no idea how she walked so quickly, it was like they were flying through the halls. Suddenly Mercedes stopped. They were outside the boys locker room.
"In." She said, pushing him towards the door and inside. It was empty and quiet, only the sound of a dripping tap interrupted the silence. Finn stumbled into a bench and steadied himself before turning to look at Mercedes who was now standing with her hands on her hips looking at him.
"You have 30 seconds to explain yourself." She said sternly. Finn began to stammer, he had no idea what to say. She was obviously not going to let this go, so what does he do?
He took a deep breath.
"Okay." He said slowly. "What do you want to know?"
"Everything." She said, folding her arms.
Finn sat down heavily and began to spill his guts about all of it. He told her about the party and then about the months following and then about how it was nothing but then it accidently became something but nothing like physical or cheating, it was just a friendship and feelings for a dude he had never had before and then he told her about why Blaine was at the school and how he wasn't going to end it with Finn but thought it was going to come out so it was time to come clean and then he told her they hadn't spoken since and they wouldn't again. When he had finished, his body was shaking and his head was in his hands. Mercedes looked at him in disbelief.
"How could you do that to your brother?" She said a little louder than either of them had expected.
"I don't know." Finn shook his head which was still firmly planted in his hands. "But you can't say anything about this to him. Please Mercedes." He looked up at her with pleading eyes.
"You can't tell him, he's moving on. I'm moving on. Quinn and I are dating. I just want all of this to go away." Mercedes slowly shook her head and was silent for a few moments, chewing her bottom lip.
"I won't say anything, Finn. But Kurt has a right to know. One day soon you'll have to tell him and I hope all of these lies were worth it."
Finn nodded gratefully and stood up Mercedes touched his arm gently and pulled him towards the door. "Come on."

"We're going to the Lima Bean. Join us?" Kurt said as he swung his bag over his shoulder and put his right arm through Mercedes' left arm. He looked around the room at everyone putting their bags over their shoulders and nodding. They all slowly filtered out and began the short walk to the coffee shop. Finn was walking with Puck, talking about their latest kills on Call of Duty, when Quinn sidled up alongside him.
"Thought about it?" She said, looking up at him as she walked.
"Yeah…" He said, looking down at her with a worried look on his face. He sighed. He had told Blaine that this wouldn't happen, but he'd told Mercedes it was happening and now he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He would do it, but somehow he would have to explain to Blaine before he found out and thought it was for real. He could reassure him it was only a cover-up to get everyone off of his back, and that he really only had eyes for him. Not that it should matter because Blaine was with Kurt anyway, and that wasn't changing in the foreseeable future, and even if it did…'Oh God' he thought as he tried to tame some of his racing thoughts from running away from him.

"I'm in." He said, somewhat questioningly. Quinn smiled wider and took his hand that was swinging by his side.
"Good." Quinn said, squeezing his hand tighter as he made a mental note to text or call Blaine before anyone else could tell him.

As they arrived at the coffee shop, Quinn and Finn were the last of them to enter. Mercedes and Tina were already ordering their drinks and Mike and Sam were holding a group of tables they could all fit around. Quinn pulled him towards the table and dumped her bag on it.
"You're buying." She said and poked Finn playfully in the chest. He nodded at her and walked over to join the queue. He glanced around lazily at the menu board, the glass case full of sandwiches and cakes and then towards the barista, who had finished giving Tina and Mercedes their drinks. The next customers stepped forward and Finn's eyes widened as he looked at who it was, Kurt was there with his arm gently resting around a figure in a Dalton Uniform. Finn's heart began to pound and his stomach flipped over. 'He's here. Oh shit he's here.' Finn thought. 'why is he here? I'm going to blow chunks.'
He tried to steady his breathing and concentrate on his order. Finally after a few minutes of staring at the ceiling and ignoring his surroundings, and Blaine's laugh 'Oh god that laugh.' Finn was at the front staring at the young guy asking what he wanted. He blurted out his order quickly and looked embarrassed as the server nodded slowly and moved away to get it ready. He didn't look at where Blaine and Kurt had gone, but he assumed it was their table, where they could sit with everybody else and talk. He tapped his fingers nervously on the counter and waited. He mentally urged the man the take his sweet time, but before he knew it the coffee cups were in his hands, he'd paid up and he was being nudged from the queue by Puck and Rachel. He could see Mercedes eyes following him as he walked around the table and sat at the other end opposite Quinn, as far away from Kurt and Blaine as he could be. But he had to do something or it would get awkward and suspicious. He got back up from his chair and began to walk over to the table with the sugar and milk on it, on his way he diverted, stood behind Kurt who was talking to Mike and squeezed his shoulder gently to say hi. Kurt looked up briefly, smiled at his tall brother and went back to his conversation. Blaine looked up at him, with those huge perfect eyes and smiled in a friendly way. The rest of the table were talking amongst themselves loudly, they probably hadn't even noticed when Finn opened his mouth to speak to Blaine.
"Hey man. How's it going?" Finn asked, smiling, but not too broadly, just enough to be friendly but not make anyone think anything otherwise.
"Great. How are you?" Blaine made the same effort to keep it casual.
"Yeah, I'm cool." Finn nodded. Blaine was looking up at him. His face looked beautiful and bright. He couldn't believe that the guy who had told him he might love him over the phone last night was right in front of him. It felt surreal. Finn studied his face, forcing himself to remember it exactly how it was then, gentle and smiling.
"Great." Blaine said. He nodded enthusiastically and slowly turned his attention back to Artie who was telling him and Sam about his ideas for a short film he wanted to work on. Finn slunk away, picked up some sugar that he didn't really want then returned to his seat next to Quinn.

Blaine's heart was pounding against his rib cage and he could hear the blood rushing around in his ears. Being this close to Finn felt exciting and dangerous. He kept trying to subtly catch his eye, but it was impossible, Finn was being stubborn and not even glancing towards his end of the table. He talked happily to Kurt's friends; they had all really warmed to him, especially Sam and Artie, with whom he could excitedly talk about comics and movies with. Blaine began to feel more relaxed, his heart slowed down until he began to notice Quinn leaning over Finn, touching his arms and lacing her fingers through his. He watched with his stomach in a knot as she ran her index finger down his jawline and pulled his face gently in to kiss his cheek and then his mouth. Blaine stood up from his seat, his head was spinning and he could hear the blood pumping again, but now it was for different reasons. He walked away from the table and towards the men's room where he had to try to collect himself. He was glad Kurt's friends were all so loud and too pre-occupied with each other to even notice him leave. Finn probably didn't even notice. He was too busy having his face sucked off by Quinn. Blaine found himself clenching his fists against the bathroom wall, his face pulled into a tight grimace. 10 minutes ago he had been so happy, just to be in the same room as that asshole, but now, and after last night, Finn must know he has the upper hand, he has Blaine around his little finger and he's playing with him. He's shoving it all back in his face, toying with his feelings and making him suffer. He pulled his phone from his blazer hastily, found Finn's number and began to punch words into a text message.
"You're a liar." He pressed send and shoved the phone back into the inside pocket of his blazer and bent over the sink. He splashed water over his face, and gazed in the mirror at himself, watching the water drip from his nose and chin. He shook his head gently and looked back down into the water swirling down the plug hole. He picked up a few paper towels and rubbed them over his face to dry it. He was glad he was going back to his parents tonight, he could let out some of this anger and frustration on his punch bag, maybe he'd even go for a run. But first he had to make his excuses and leave. He wished there was a window he could just crawl through. Just as he was walking towards the door, it swung open just before he could get a grasp on the door handle. Finn fell through it, looking flustered and anxious.
"Liar?" He asked, grabbing Blaine's arms and pushing him back into the bathroom. His physical force frightened Blaine a little, who moved backwards and took on a more protective stance, shying his face away and crossing his arms over his torso. Finn stepped towards him, but less aggressively now and holding his arms out pleadingly.
"I'm sorry." He spoke quietly. "I didn't mean to…"

Blaine turned his face towards him and blinked quickly. "You are a liar." He said in a low tone. "You told me you weren't seeing Quinn. You lied to me. You said all of these things and now you're just watching me squirm."
"What? No, Blaine, it isn't like that." Finn looked confused, his eyebrows knitted and his arms thrown out in frustration. Blaine was the one squaring up to him now. He unfolded his arms and walked towards Finn, pointing a finger at his chest.
"You know exactly what you're doing. You're playing with me. You let me say all that dumb stuff last night just so you could throw it back at me today when I see you with her."
"What the hell?" Finn said, getting angry at the accusations being thrown at him. He couldn't look at him as he spoke. "You have no idea do you? No idea what this whole thing has put me through. I've barely slept or eaten or even spoken in the last week. I'm covered in bruises from being shoved into lockers, my face is bruised from fights. I was the laughing stock of the school up until today when everyone was howling at this one guy. And I'm the one playing games? I told you over and over…" Finn paused to lower his voice as he realised it was growing progressively louder. "I told you over and over how much you mean to me, and you told me over and over that you wanted to be with me, but you couldn't do it. You weren't strong enough to be honest with yourself and now I'm the one paying for it." Finn took a deep breath and finally made eye contact with Blaine.
"Ok." Blaine said quickly, his voice shaking with anger and the tears forming in his eyes. "Okay then. That's how you feel then we end this now. No contact, don't even look at me again. I'll delete your cell number. I won't even say hi when I'm with Kurt. And you better stop checking my facebook and blog, because I'll know." He took huge strides towards the door. "I hope you're happy with Quinn and good luck at Regionals next week." He swung the door open, causing it to crash into the wall. "Bye, Finn."

Blaine stopped outside the bathroom door and straightened himself up, plastering his usual grin across his face and dabbing the heat away from his cheeks. He felt dizzy and tired, life and all the drama that comes with it was just exhausting. He walked over to the table happily and sat down next to Kurt, planting a kiss on his cheek as he did so. After a few moments he heard Finn's footsteps behind him. He watched from the corner of his eye as he walked back to his seat, Finn wasn't as good at pretending as Blaine was. His body looked tense and angry and his eyes were withdrawn and defeated. Blaine turned to kurt and placed a hand gently on his knee.
"I should go. Walk me to my car?" Kurt looked surprised but nodded. They both stood up.
"Are you guys going?" Tina asked.
"I'll be back, I'm just walking Blaine to his car." Blaine said goodbye to everyone and walked from the coffee shop, holding Kurt's hand. They reached his car and Blaine stood by the driver's side door, looking at his boyfriend. He realised what a mess his life was. He loved Kurt, so much. Kurt had been the one who brought all of Blaine's best qualities out. Their relationship felt one sided a lot, but Blaine hadn't cared because Kurt was so grateful for all of the support and love Blaine offered. He was good looking, and sexy, but when he touched his hand, he didn't feel that bolt anymore. He didn't feel that 'so this is love, da da dee dum..' thing that Cinderella felt. But Finn, even when Finn was angry at him, or not even there, just thinking about touching him made his bones tingle and his stomach ache and the butterflies and the feelings.
Kurt leant down and planted a kiss on his lips. His kisses were beautifully soft, but they also felt rehearsed and mechanic. He broke the kiss and Kurt looked at him confused.
"Are you okay?" He asked and stood back a little.
"I don't feel great. I don't want to give you anything."
Kurt's smile returned to his face and he ushered him into his car.
"Get plenty of rest, can't have you sick for regionals, can we."

Title is from Jukebox the Ghost- Somebody