If you're under eighteen please don't read this chapter.
This is unbeta'd and not pre-read by anyone. All mistakes are my own.
MA: This story has explicit and lemony scenes. If boy x boy relations offend you please don't read any further.
Characters belong to S. Meyer.
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[previous chapter]
I risked taking a peak at him and I was overwhelmed by the look of interest in his eyes. My pulse raced, sweat formed on my temple, and I started to feel an odd flutter in my chest.
"I…uh…fuck…I wasn't tryin' to tell ya anythin'"
What a fuckin' chickenshit you are Jasper Whitlock – you might as well be a fuckin' chick.
Yeah, but if he is gay and he does want more – what would make that situation acceptable?
Nothing. Nothing was the only answer I could come up with. Nothing would make it okay.
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[year: 2003 – Jasper age 16]
"Oh God James," I breathed, as he flexed his second finger in. The burn is stronger this time, but there is no way I would put the brakes on this. I'd be fucking crazy to give up this opportunity - it's my favorite fantasy come to life.
"Jasper, you're so fucking tight man," James whispered in my ear, his breathing is harsh and I can feel every push and pull of his digits. "I can't wait to feel this heat around my cock."
My own erection had withered when he started prepping me but to my relief it was now gaining a healthy resurgence.
I guess I fuckin' like dirty talk.
"Please," I groaned out. "More."
It was four months after James had confronted me about the drinking episode at my apartment. I hadn't had the bravery to admit my feelings at that time and I continued on the road of denial for a few months more.
The day after he left my apartment James followed through with his threat and I was brought before Marchetti for being drunk during school hours. There wasn't any proof, but when James offered to bring in other students from my economics class to bear witness to my 'drunken' behavior I caved. The only part of the whole debacle that I could take pride in was the fact that I never gave away Shannan's involvement. A fact that seemed to particularly irk James to no end.
I was kicked off the track team and much to Momma's disappointment I had my first three-day suspension in more than a year.
I thought the adults had it all backward.
Didn't they see that removing a student from athletics might only push someone to do more fucked up stuff with all that extra time?
At one point Momma even blamed herself for my behavior and promised to spend more time at home with me. There wasn't one part of the whole episode where the blame could be placed with her, so I resolved to stay out of any more trouble, at least for her own piece of mind.
Running soon became a thing of the past. It was off season for cross country and I didn't run with the track team anymore. With no sports to participate in I couldn't find the motivation to do anything physical. And, since I no longer worried about running times I went back to smoking, probably too much. I contemplated getting a part-time job, but I lacked motivation and never ended up looking. Robert still sent me money on a regular basis so it wasn't like I needed it for the money.
School was still tolerable, but I'd let most of my new friends go. The atmosphere around the lunch table had become incredibly uncomfortable, and I took to spending my free hour in the library. The idea of inviting friends over had lost its appeal and I'd spent more and more of my time alone. I soon had a routine of going straight home from school, finishing my homework and then spending the rest of the night online playing Warcraft. It was the one place where I felt comfortable in my own skin.
In the six weeks after I quit the team I lost about ten pounds. You'd think with all the sitting on my ass I'd have gotten fat, but I hadn't had an appetite and the smoking helped curb the impulse to snack. A lot of my muscle mass was disappearing and I found it depressing to look in the mirror.
It was on a typical Tuesday afternoon that James stopped by the apartment again.
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"What are ya doin' here?" I asked him, surprised as all fuck at the man standing in my doorway. I hadn't spoken to James since I'd been kicked off the team except to answer questions in his class. The way he'd turned me in to Marchetti felt like a betrayal, especially considering I'd confided more in him than I had in anyone else. Most days I was angrier at myself for trusting him; I should never have forgotten he was a teacher. I'd even stopped going to the weekly trivia team practices. The Miltons had been pissed at first, but then they'd replaced me with a sophomore who probably was a better fit anyway.
"Go get some shorts on and get back out here," James ordered.
I looked him up and down and realized he looked dressed to run. I resisted the urge to lick my lips while I eyed his strong, tanned thighs.
"Go away," I protested. "In case ya hadn't realized, I don't run anymore. Someone kicked me offa the team."
"No one kicked you off," James scoffed. "You brought it on yourself. Stop with the emo moping, I'm surprised you haven't gone all black again. Go and get some shorts on, we're going on a run."
"Fuck off," I responded, moving to slam the door in his face.
He pushed back before I could get the door shut completely and since he was stronger than me he was inside without much of a struggle.
"You need a kick in the butt and I'm making it my mission to get you back into shape. We need you on the team next year. That means you have to start running now," he explained.
I stared at him in amazement. He really fuckin' expected me to run with him?
"Get the fuck out!" I yelled, no longer caring if Mrs. C. even called the cops for the ruckus we were causing.
"Get out! Get out!" I shouted as I pushed at him to move. James was too muscular for me and he didn't budge.
"Calm down Jasper, I'm only trying to help you."
"You're a stupid, fuckin', asshole of a teacher," I shouted and then I don't what I thought would happen but I swung.
It was pure instinct and my adrenaline was soaring.
Before my fist could connect James had his arms around me, removing any opportunity to hurt him. I struggled against his embrace but he was way too strong and I huffed in anger as I tried a final time to twist away.
"Why won't ya leave me alone?" I panted.
"Jasper, you're letting yourself go and I can't let you do that without a fight. You're worth too much to give up."
"I'm worth fuckin' zilch. You'd fuckin' vomit if ya knew the way I used to think of ya," I confessed.
James took a sharp breath and I could feel his arms loosen around me. It took me several seconds to realize what I'd possibly revealed.
"How did you think of me?"
"Oh fuck," I groaned. "Ya don't want to go there…Mr. Shulman."
"Uh oh, that bad huh?"
I shook my head but resisted from looking at him. "Let go of me," I asked quietly.
He let his hands drop from me and stepped back. I instantly missed the feel of his skin against my body, but I knew it was going to get infinitely colder in a moment.
"I'm gay," I declared solemnly.
"I know," James snorted.
I looked over at him and noticed his eyes now held a hint of amusement. Feeling somewhat bolder I continued.
"I find you attractive."
James frowned a little, just the smallest crease between his eyes. Then by some miracle his mouth broke out into a grin. He was so fucking cocky and I wanted to lean in and kiss him – just to make him sweat.
"Ah, I see. You like me. Well I'd be disappointed if you didn't. I'm irresistible you know. Haven't you heard, I'm a t.i.l.f." he smirked even further, his eyes dancing.
What the fuck?
"It doesn't bother you?" I asked in disbelief.
"Not in the least," he answered quickly. "Now go get your shorts on, you have some miles to catch up on."
I turned to walk to my room and obey his latest command, but then I turned with one last question.
"Are you gay?"
James tsked at me before answering. "You know better than that Jasper. I'm a teacher, we need to keep my private life out of our conversations."
More confused than ever, I stumbled to my room to change.
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Months of running together three times a week and I wasn't any closer to discovering the mystery of James' sexual orientation, but we'd grown closer in other ways. After every run we'd stop at my empty apartment and take turns showering. More often than not I had to jerk off to wind myself down enough to be around him. Then we'd relax and watch some television. Sometimes I even cooked us some dinner. It was a strange relationship to have with a teacher, but I wasn't about to question it because I didn't want it to ever end. I never breathed a word to anyone; no one had a fucking clue.
Our relationship tipped toward something more than friendship on the day I walked in on James undressing for his shower. Embarrassed and contrite for having invaded his privacy I stammered out an apology and started to back out, but I couldn't help but give a quick, extremely brief, flitting of my eyes across his naked body before I left. Two things stuck with me, he was hard, like full blown erection pointed right the fuck at me hard, and his eyes didn't look upset, they looked…lustful.
I shut the door behind me and shuffled back to my room, my thoughts cloudy with the images I couldn't erase and my heart pounding with the possibilities.
Was James gay? Could it be that he felt an attraction to me?
My own dick was as hard a rock and I moaned as I ran my hand across the front of my gym shorts. I'd never had the experience of feeling anyone else's hand on me and I suddenly felt wanton with desire. I wanted to go back to him and see what could happen.
Would he get angry with me?
I didn't have to make the decision. As I stroked myself through my shorts, my door opened quietly and James slipped in. There was no time to stop or be embarrassed by what I was doing because it was only a matter of seconds before his hand joined mine causing me to almost fucking cum instantly.
I didn't, no couldn't think about the consequences of what we were doing. I mean fuck, James, James, had his hand on my erection.
Who in their right mind could ever complain about this situation?
I moaned with a mix of delight and leaned in to kiss him. When he returned my kiss with a fevered pitch our relationship soared to a whole new fucking level.
Probably a level it never should have reached.
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"I'm ready, please," I whimpered into James' mouth. He had my legs pulled up on his shoulders and he'd curled his third finger up to stroke that wonderful spot inside that was making it a motherfucking bitch to keep from cumming all over.
"Okay," he whispered, his voice sounding as if he were almost out of breath.
He gave me a quick final peck on the mouth and let my legs slip down off his shoulders. Reaching for the condom on the bed beside us, I ripped it open and passed it to him, anxious that he was going to change his mind.
It was two weeks since the fateful day I walked in on him naked and we'd fooled around a lot. James was a master at getting me off. I knew he must have acquired those skills firsthand, but I didn't care. He was with me now and that's all that mattered.
"Are you sure Jasper?" James questioned as he stared into my eyes with an intensity that made me squirm.
"Ab-so-fuckin'-lutely," I responded forcing his fist to close around the condom. "Come on James, fuck me already."
He rolled it on quickly and he squirted more lube into his hand and pumped it over his condom covered erection. He then flipped me over and pulled me up on all fours.
I was so fucking turned on I didn't know if I would last more through more than a few pushes. He lined up his cock with my stretched hole and slowly pushed in as I held my breath. He was big, but he'd prepared me well and I hardly felt the burn. Once he'd pushed past the first ring of muscle he paused and waited for me to adjust to his size.
Oh fuck he's inside me.
The way he'd taken the care to make sure my first time wasn't any more painful than it had to be left me with an indescribable feeling of warmth in my chest. He always took care of me.
I love you James. I didn't dare tell him.
"I love feeling you inside me," I declared. It was the closest I'd come to confessing my true feelings and even though he'd never said those three words I knew in this moment that he felt it too.
As soon as I felt ready I began to push my ass back toward him and he set a moderate pace.
I'd never felt so full and wanted.
"So tight, God Jasper."
His words turned me on more and I could feel my heart racing in response.
He was so fucking popular with students and teachers alike that I still couldn't believe he wanted me, the outcast of the school. I wasn't about to question the gift horse I was receiving.
Is it wrong to thank God for this man? Yeah, maybe a little bit inappropriate.
His hands gripped my hips and I hissed in pain when his fingers dug in.
"Sorry," he panted as he loosened them a little.
I could feel, no really feel the satisfaction of each push inward. But it wasn't enough. I wanted more. I wanted him to leave me walking funny tomorrow.
"No, move faster," I grunted. "Really fuck me," I urged him on.
I dropped my arms and tilted forward so I could grasp my own cock and relieve the need for some friction of my own. The change in position caused James' cock to hit my prostate and after only a few pumps with my fist I was unloading all over my sheets.
"Holy fuck James!" I declared.
His pace picked up furiously and my ass finally started to hurt. He slowed down for a moment as he ran one hand down my back and over my ass causing me to shiver with want.
"I really shouldn't be doing this with you Jasper, but you are so fucking beautiful, inside and out."
I felt a twitch in my chest and I couldn't help but smile. I raised myself up higher and turned my head so I could reach his lips. He groaned as my tongue quickly sought his and he stopped moving to kiss me hard and fast.
Satisfied that we'd reconnected, I turned back and assumed my position. James gripped me harder at the hips again and this time he really started to pound into me. His skin slapped loudly against mine and I could hear myself making obscene noises that I could do nothing to stop. It didn't take him long at that pace to reach his climax and I reveled in the ability to feel his dick pulsing inside me, filling up the condom.
I literally fell down on the bed as his erection slid out and I rolled to my side. James collapsed on top of me in exhaustion, his sweat rubbing off on my shoulder and part of my back.
"Are you okay?" James asked after moving off me and propping himself up on one elbow.
"Fuckin' fantastic," I replied with a stupid smile on my face. "You?"
"The same," he answered back as he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling in my bedroom. He pulled off the condom, tied up the end and then flicked it in my trash can.
"What time will your mom be home?"
"Probably not for another couple of hours."
Without having absolute knowledge of exactly when Momma would be home, we'd always taken precautions so we wouldn't get caught. We only fooled around in my bedroom with the door locked and a chair propped under the doorknob, just in case. James always brought his shoes and coat into my room and never left anything of his around the apartment.
If we were hanging out and watching television, I always made sure the deadbolt was locked, giving us the extra time we'd need for him to make it back to my bedroom unobserved. We couldn't take any chances since the age of consent in Texas was seventeen, which I wouldn't be for another four months, and even when I reached that age, it was illegal for a primary or secondary school teacher to have a sexual relationship with a student.
Stupid fuckin' rules if you asked me.
From the locked bedroom, James could sneak out my window. We were in a ground level apartment and he could be away and out of sight in mere minutes. So far Momma had only come home early once when James was present and his escape had worked like a charm.
I sometimes wished we had somewhere to meet that didn't have the stress of a possible interruption, but James lived with a roommate and with the law being against us we couldn't take the chance with his roommate knowing about our relationship.
At one point I was worried Momma might figure out I was in a relationship or find some evidence. Condoms in the waste basket might start an interesting conversation. So I'd decided to be proactive and made up a more 'suitable' boyfriend. "Jesse" was seventeen, a senior, and buried deeply in the closet. She expressed concern with the fact he was still in the closet and gave me the typical safe sex spiel, but I think she was equally glad I had someone who was making me happy. I wished I could tell her the truth, but I couldn't tell anyone. I think she would have liked James, he was a good influence for me and he treated me very well.
"Good, I don't want to leave yet," he said as he gathered me into his arms.
I buried my face into his neck and inhaled his musky, manly scent. The smile on my face couldn't be repressed and I realized just how much he must love me. James was constantly harping on about my future and he wouldn't be the type to risk being fired if he didn't think I was worth it.
I couldn't help but start to dream about a time when we wouldn't have to hide what we meant to each other.
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Thanks for reading!
I'm a little nervous writing lemons, I haven't had much success. Usually my reviews take a dive!