I'm a total lying liar-pants, there is actually one more chapter after this.
Steve grunts a greeting to his partially assembled team as he takes a seat at the lunch room table. He purposefully ignores the looks that pass between them in favor of taking a bite of his lackluster sandwich.
"You know what?!" Clint announces, "I'm sick of this! Steve just tell us what the hell happened on the mission with Stark and quit moping around!"
Steve glares at him and looks around to make sure no one else was listening. He doesn't know what Directory Fury would do if he found out about his little foray into vigilantism but he knows he doesn't want to find out.
"There's no one listening, we're the only ones here," Clint assures gesturing to Natasha and Bucky beside him.
"Just tell us Stevie, this is starting to get ridiculous. It's been like five months and you're still acting weird," Buck says leaning forward.
Steve rolls his eyes at the nick name, "Can you not call me that, please?"
"I'll stop calling you that when you stop acting like the same ninety pound kid I knew from S.H.I.E.L.D basic training," Bucky challenges, poking Steve in the chest.
Steve rests his face in his hands with a sigh, "There's nothing to tell ok? It went fine, I got the money, gave it to the shelter, and came back to base. Can we just drop it?"
"He likes Stark," the redhead beside him states bluntly.
Steve lifts his head to stare at her with open mouthed shock.
"No he doesn't, right Stevie? Cap? Oh God you do!" Bucky exclaims taking in Steve's shocked expression.
"How the hell did that happen? The guy's an asshole!" Clint finally recovers enough to ask.
Steve hates this, talking about his personal life with his team always makes him feel uncomfortable. He's supposed to be The Captain: Leader of a special group of spies, code named The Avengers, he can't let weakness show. And maybe possibly, kinda falling for some billionaire, playboy is definitely a weakness.
"He was different that I thought OK it… threw me off," he admits, hoping that that'll be enough to get them off his back.
It isn't.
"Of course he was different than you thought, you were in character, he was probably all over the dumb-drunk you were pretending to be, then he gave up the money easily when you played up the whole scary badass Captain thing," Bucky says waving his hand dismissively.
Steve sighs and scrubs his hands over his face. "That's not what I did ok?" he says with frustration, "that was the plan but I was waiting at the party completely out of character and he comes up to me anyway, so I changed the plan-"
"Wait," Natasha interrupts, "I've seen you at parties, you're telling me The Tony Stark approached the shyest, most awkward, out of place looking person?" she asks skeptically.
"That's what I thought!" Steve exclaims throwing his hands up, "He starts talking to me, and I have no idea how I'm supposed to act so I just… acted like myself."
He knows it sounds so pathetic, but he has been a spy with S.H.I.E.L.D for years and he's never engaged a target as himself. Heck, he hasn't talked anyone besides his team as just himself in a long time, he was always 'Captain.' It was different talking to someone that simply liked him for himself. It was nice.
"It wasn't real Steve. Even if you liked him when you first met, after that he was drugged. You can't actually believe that was him." Bucky says in a sympathetic voice, and Steve hates it.
He knows that everyone on the team is happy, they're all in stable relationships, and as their jobs entail, they are aware that he hasn't been able to find his happiness with anyone, much less through a steady and dependable relationship.
At least, a few years ago he could have said he liked his job, but now he doesn't even have that. He used to think he was making a difference, but all his work now is just bureaucratic pencil pushing.
His team tries to set him up almost weekly, always a different agent or some other S.H.I.E.L.D employee, but he doesn't want that. He doesn't know exactly what it is that he wants, but he knows he got a glimpse of it in the time he spent with Tony.
"You don't think I know that? I just, I found him interesting. You know the first thing he did was tell me he wasn't giving me anything? Usually these rich guys offer to give me whatever I want, but not him. And then he tries to fight me! I'm twice his size and he still tries to take me. Even with all the drugs he just kept fighting, until we-," Steve cuts himself off, he's not willing to tell them what he did with Tony.
He didn't even really mean to use sex to keep Tony calm but it worked, he was already giving him a higher dosage of the drugs than he was comfortable with, but Tony still wasn't cooperating. So when he saw how much calmer Tony was after their groping session against the wall he just…went with it. And if he liked it too then that's just a happy accident.
"He had sex with Stark," Natasha cuts in again drily.
"What!?" Clint gasps, almost falling out of his seat.
"You really need to stop reading my mind," Steve says shooting her a glare. "Look, I really don't want to talk about this. I thought he was interesting and nice so we, uh, did stuff. But he didn't find me so it's over." Steve purposefully leaves out the part where he gave Tony hints to keep him looking, but they don't need to know that. He likes the idea of Tony thinking about him and Steve wanted to keep Tony engaged even though he's sure that if Tony does find him, it probably wouldn't be to give him a hug.
Natasha looks surprised, "I was put on Stark awhile back. I've seen him in every stage of consciousness, and I've never seen him act remotely 'nice'. Self-sacrificing for the purpose of making amends? Yes, but never nice."
Steve swallows down his excitement, he wants to be happy about that, he wants to believe that maybe he saw a side of Tony that no one else had, but he can't. He's not a child, he knows that people are who they are and there's no changing that, there's no changing them. Steve just needs a little more time to get over this stupid crush and he'll be back to normal.
"I'm gonna be in my room, I'll see you guys later," he excuses himself and makes his way to his room.
He rushes in and closes the door to his quarters behind him, he doesn't expect them to follow him but he locks it behind him quickly anyway, just in case.
He's sitting on his bed with his head in his hands when he hears a high pitched sound, he only has time to sit up straight before his body goes rigid and motionless.
"You're a hard man to find, Steven Grant Rogers," says a familiar sounding voice. But it can't be… S.H.I.E.L.D is the most well hidden organization on the planet, Tony might have been able to find him, but there's no way he would be able get into the base.
Tony moves to stand directly in his line of sight wearing a devious grin, "I know what you're thinking," he says pacing the length of the room, " 'How did he find me?' or no, 'How did he get in here?' The answer is simple really, I'm a genius."
Steve tries to discern Tony's feelings, recalling all of S.H.I.E.L.D's instructional classes on Body Language and Assessing the Psyche of Your Captor, but he doesn't think that Tony will hurt him…not really.
Although he's heard about Tony's last escape, where he didn't exactly stop and ask the guys if they wanted to surrender before setting them on fire, and Steve can see the thinly veiled rage in Tony's eyes.
"I searched for you, I looked, and I looked, and I couldn't find shit! Not a thing! Then one fateful day I get this folder on my desk. It's a contract to upgrade the tech for this 'security company' named 'Shield' and what do you know? They had a very similar logo to the one on your suit. Not the same, but close enough that I thought it wouldn't hurt to take a look."
Tony pauses his story to look over Steve's tight S.H.I.E.L.D uniform, "You look great in that by the way. If you weren't an asshole I'd definitely consider hitting that again," he says with a smirk.
"Wow, a blush, you're really sticking to this whole 'boy next door' thing, huh?" Tony says bitterly before continuing to pace.
Steve, still unable to move, is only able to glare holes into Tony's face, but he itches to do more. He really hates his stupid blush sometimes, it's unfortunately one of the few things he kept from his days as a shy skinny kid.
"Anyway, so I tell Pep that I'll be handling the upgrades personally and I get access to S.H.I.E.L.D's computers. And after a solid week of hacking, the rest, as they say, is history." He finishes with a wide, triumphant grin. "Now, I thought about killing you, but that was back when I thought you were some goon working for an evil terrorist organization. I went through your file and saw that kidnapping rich people and taking their money isn't actually part of your job description. You're supposed to be one of the good guy. In fact, I bet if Director Fury heard about what you do he'd be very unhappy."
Stark leans in inches away from Steve's face, placing his hand on Steve's knees. "I was just going to tell Fury, but then I checked your bank account, and when I saw that you didn't put the money in there, curiosity got the better of me and I had to know what you did with it. I'm still going to tell Fury, but I wanna know why you took it. So here's the deal," Tony says sitting beside Steve on the bed, "I'm going to release you long enough for you to tell me what you did with it, then I'm going to go along on my merry way knowing that in a few minutes Fury is going to rain hell down on you for putting his whole organization in jeopardy. Easy as pie."
Steve can't see Tony's face from here but he can hear the grin in his voice, so he starts planning all the ways he can take Stark down when he releases him, but all of them are shot when Stark comments, "Oh and if you do anything to me the message still goes to Fury."
Steve deflates, he should have known playing with this man would have led to nothing good but he's unhappy and bored with his life, he supposes this was his extreme way of giving up.
He started this job because he wanted to help his country but he never does anything, all he does is train new agents, create strategies for battles he doesn't get to fight, and sleep.
The reason he started taking money from rich people, was because he saw how much they had and how little others had, and he thought that it would be a way for him to feel useful again.
He feels the stiffness leave his body and allows himself to sag, letting the silence in the room to wash over him.
Steve sits with his head bowed thinking about what Fury will do. He did want excitement, and he's sure whatever Fury has in mind wouldn't be boring, so he supposes, in some way, he asked for this.
He feels Tony flick him on the ear and turns to look at him. Steve suddenly realizes just how close they're sitting, but the second their eyes meet Tony hurriedly looks away. "Hurry up Blondie, I don't have all day," he says putting distance between them.
Steve sighs and looks down at his shoes, "I made an anonymous donation to a shelter for battered women and children," he mumbles.
He doesn't know why Tony would care, if Natasha is right this guy only does good when it makes him look like a better person. He only bothers to make grand gestures like shutting down his weapons production, or huge charity balls when he knows it'll raise his reputation in the tabloids, the great billionaire philanthropist, Tony Stark. Steve thinks he'll probably be mad that he gave his money away without giving him credit.
Stark doesn't say anything for a long moment then he suddenly stands and exclaims, "Fuck!"
He crowds into Steve's space, "I swear to god if you're lying to me I'm gonna to do something much worse than just tell Fury," he threatens, pointing an accusing finger in Steve's face.
Steve stands and pushes the finger away. "Why the hell would I lie? If you want your money back then too bad, it's gone!" Steve yells taking a step into Tony's space. He was telling the truth when he said he doesn't make a habit of lying outside of work, and hates being called a liar.
They stand inches apart trying to glare each other into submission.
Tony breaks first by turning away to swipe all of the contents on Steve's shelf onto the ground.
"What the hell is your problem?!" Steve asks. Tony's already going to get him fired, and probably much worse, does he really need to destroy his stuff too?
"You're my problem! You and your stupid face and fucking hair! Who steals a million dollars then just gives it away! Who the hell just wakes up one morning and decides to be Robin Hood? You're so… so…" At a loss for words, Tony settles for pushing Steve onto the bed with a frustrated yell.
Steve lands on his back looking up at Tony. He understands why someone would be mad about being robbed, but he has no idea why Tony is suddenly more angry when he found out about the charity.
Tony leans over the length of Steve's body putting his hands on either side of the blonde's head, "Was it real!?" he demands through clenched teeth.
Steve just narrows his eyes at him, searching for understanding. "Was what real?" he says trying to convey his utter confusion at the sudden change in mood.
Tony slams his right hand on the bed beside Steve's face, Steve doesn't flinch, he's way too experienced for that, but his eyes widen with shock, "All of it! What you said, how you acted! I wanna know! Was it real for you too?!"
Steve examines Tony's face again, the anger is obvious, but under it there's genuine hurt clouding his eyes.
"It was," Steve says honestly, hoping to convey the truth of his statement. If felt real to him, but he convinced himself that it was all in his head, Tony couldn't feel anything for him unless he was doped out of his mind.
Tony searches Steve's eyes for something, but whatever he finds makes him huff out a humourless laugh and shake his head lightly.
Steve doesn't know if that means Tony believes him or not, but before he can ask Tony is gone. Lying motionless on the bed, Steve stares up at the place Tony just was with bewilderment. Did Tony not believe him or did he just not care?
When Steve finally comes back to himself Stark is completely gone.
Two weeks pass, with nothing out of the ordinary occurring. Tony doesn't visit again, and if Fury knows about his second job, he doesn't act like it. Steve tries to just continue the previous and familiar monotony of his life, but he can't get Tony's words out of his head.
'Was it real for you too?'
Now there's only one chapter left.
Preview:
Steve looks up and says, "You kept the painting."
Those words make him want to punch Steve in stupid puppy face, "You looked through my stuff," Tony spits venomously.
"I did," Steve says taking a step toward him. "You kept the note and my clothes too. I wanted to see if you really cared as much as I did," Steve pauses, only inches away from Tony. Tony silently curses himself for letting his eyes momentarily flash down to Steve's lips, which are still absolutely perfect.