Life After Death

It did not get easier. I shortly learned that absolutely no one could see me. Every time someone went through me, it was like getting the wind punched right out of me. I shuddered and my heart raced. It made me want to break down and cry.

I spent the next forty years following Aelia and Domitus. It took a year, but they were finally married. The ceremony was not held in the church where I died. In fact, that building went untouched by man, except for the few brave teenagers who heard it was haunted and went out in search for the ghost of Cupid Valentinus.

One year after I died, Aelia and Domitus came to the church and made a small grave for me. Aelia cried, but Domitus remained strong for his new wife. My best friend spoke fondly of me and I cried, too. It was unbearable not to be able to hold her again. To let her know I was there, I flapped my wings, producing a wind that rustled the trees and their hair. Domitus lifted his head and looked around, and for a moment, I thought he was staring right at me. A painful look crossed his face and he turned away.

I was there for their wedding. It was in a church far from where I died. Just like before, they had doves, and the second Domitus kissed his bride, they were released. Though I could not have been happier for them, I was still forlorn. I wanted to be there. I wanted to congratulate Aelia on marrying the man of her dreams; I wanted to embrace the man who brought her so much happiness.

That night I left the two alone. I sat on their roof, hugging my knees to my chest, watching people walk in the streets below. People that would never know I was there. People who might have heard my name around town, but would never know who I really was. "Cupid Valentinus?" they would say. "Is that the boy who died in the old church or something?"

My father named me Cupid because he desperately wanted a boy. When he saw that I was female, he kept the male name. I had been teased about my name as a child, but over the years, I came to like it because it was different. I did not know, though, that in the years to come, "Cupid" would mean something.

In my melancholy, I lifted my face to the Moon. "Are you still not speaking to me?" I asked him. There was no answer, yet somehow I felt as though someone was finally listening. Swallowing hard, I searched for the words. For a year, he never spoke back to me. Now that I had spent sixteen months in near solitude, was I worthy enough to speak to him? "I…I do not like this," I said, choking back tears. "I feel so alone. You brought me back, did you not? So, why? That is all I want to know: why? Did I do something wrong? Is this what I get for not being able to warn Aelia and Domitus?"

There was a beat. And then a cool wind played with my hair. And the moon spoke to me. He said that I will learn all the answers to my questions in time. He assured me that my life was worth far more than what it was now. If I was patient, I would see exactly what he meant.

The decade passed agonizingly slowly. I stayed with Aelia and Domitus, joining their adventures as a married couple. They had four children: two boys and two girls – the oldest daughter they named Cupid. I made sure to keep an eye out for them. During the day, I busied myself with watching over the family. Pretending that I could speak to them and they could hear me. As infants, I learned that each child could see me, but as they grew older into their toddler years, I became an invisible entity once more. I also found that the only time I can touch somebody is when they are asleep.

At night, when everyone was asleep, I would sit on the roof and talk with the Man in the Moon – who I started to call MiM after a while. I did not need to sleep; nor did I tire or hunger or thirst or anything else. It was weird and different. I was so used to getting tired around midnight, but I quickly found that none of those human qualities mattered anymore. Days meshed together and it was almost hard to keep up with the passing years.

I was not alone in the world, but I undoubtedly felt lonely. During the day, I did not have anyone to talk to. So at night, I relished the time I got to spend with MiM. I told him about my loneliness reluctantly. MiM was a placid and wise man, but I was not sure if he would mistake my desperation for rudeness somehow. Thankfully, when I came out with it, MiM was as understanding as ever. He told me that the time for my loneliness would be over soon. Soon, I would not have to feel lonely.

Of course his definition of "soon" and mine were completely different. What I thought would happen the next day turned out to happen three years later. Cupid was thirteen. The next born, Agrippa, was eleven. Next was Aeliana, who was five. Aelia was combing out her youngest daughter's hair. The woman was pregnant with her last child – Paulus – and was due any week now.

I sat beside Agrippa, reading over his shoulder. Cupid was sewing across the way. Domitus scrambled around, preparing for the snow. Outside the February snow had ceased. There was news about a grand meeting with the pope that day and everyone that could would attend. Aelia could not attend because she could not stress the baby, so she agreed to stay home with the children while Domitus and Agrippa went to see what the news was about. Agrippa was already ready, waiting on his father.

"Father, I want to go with you," Cupid whined, setting down her needle and thread.

"No," Domitus replied briskly. "It is far too cold. You need to stay here with your mother."

There was no use arguing with Domitus, so Cupid let it drop. Once the man was ready, Agrippa looked up from his book. "Are you ready to go, Father?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, let us go," Domitus said. "We will be late."

He kissed his wife and youngest daughter and headed out the door. Agrippa hugged his mother and ruffled Aeliana's hair. Because I could tell nothing particularly exciting was going to happen here, I slipped out the door quickly. Domitus and Agrippa jogged through the streets, treading through deep snow. I paused at the door, taking the time to marvel at the beautiful snow. Winter was my favorite season. When I was alive, I loved to play in the snow. Hunting in the snow was especially my favorite thing to do.

I snapped back into reality when I realized that Domitus and Agrippa were far down the street from me. "Hey, wait for me!" I called. Extending my wings, I crouched down and then propelled myself into the air. I flew in the air above Domitus and Agrippa, not losing sight of them. As they jogged, I kept up, trying not to go too far ahead of them.

It was not long before I saw the great cathedral in the distance. Arching upward, I flew as high as I could. It surprised me to see how many people had come to hear the pope's message. Swooping down to the ground, I landed beside Domitus and walked beside him. The snow beneath my sandals made no sound; Domitus showed no signs of acknowledging me.

"It is not far from here," I said to him, keeping up with his pace. Looking up, I pointed at the steeple above the buildings. "See? There it is now! Come on, before he starts without us!" Though I wanted to grab Agrippa's arm and drag him along, I knew that was impossible. Instead, I flew up and circled the crowd.

Domitus and Agrippa took their places in the rapidly multiplying crowd. In fear of standing through a person, I sat on top of a building, keeping my eyes on Domitus. Once the pope came out to the balcony, the crowd was silenced. You could hear a pin drop. And then he began to speak. His announcement?

A holiday.

A holiday taking place February 14th. It would be called Saint Valentine's Day. It would celebrate love. As he spoke about the reason behind this holiday, something amazing happened. I began to glow. At first I did not notice because it was my wings that began glowing first. Then the glowing intensified. And my bracelets started to glow – a soft and bright pink. The quiver on my back did the same, as did my belt.

The bright light glowed brighter and brighter throughout his speech. At his last word, the light engulfed me. My world went white for a few moments.

The first thing to come back was sound. The roar of the crowd was deafening. Soon the light cleared and I was in the same position I was before. I exhaled deeply as if it was my first breath. Furrowing my brow, I stood on the ledge, examining my body for anything new. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, so what just…

A name and location popped into my head. I had never heard of this place before, nor had I ever met this person, but I knew I was needed. Taking one last look at Domitus and Agrippa, I took off in a frenzied fight, farther than I had ever been in my life. My destination: my first client.