Change

It felt like a year. Maybe two. It really did. That, it turned out, was not the case. It was ten years, in fact. Ten long years for mortals. Ten long, grueling years for Cupid. I could not be there for her wedding or for the first years of her married life. I had missed so much. One would think I would become used to that. In those ten years, I had been everywhere, it seemed. I had seen the wonders of the world. Met people that became famous for their works. The only thing I had not done was meet a spirit like myself. When I found the time, I began to wonder.

I cannot be the only one out there, I thought one day as I took a break in a field beside a man with odd eyes and dark hair. He wrote poems for the woman he had recently fallen in love with. It was truly romantic. There are other holidays out there, such as Christmas and Easter. Are the people I had only dreamt of as a child real too? Leprechauns, Saint Nicholas, the Easter Bunny. Have they been hiding all these years? Do they know I exist, if in fact they exist? I wanted to know these answers, but I had not found the time. I asked MiM when I remembered and I found the chance, but he remained as cryptic as ever.

In time, he said, I will know.

I was tired of waiting! I was tired of not knowing the truth. All I wanted was some company. To know that MiM would not be the only one to realize I am here, that I am real. Sure, years passed right under my nose and I did not know it, but it did not feel that way to me. Would I have to endure a millennia before I received the answers I desired?

In the ten years I brooded about this, my heart became darker. Although I found it hard to actually hate him, I did my best to feel despisement. It was his fault I had returned from the grave when I did not want to. It was his fault I found myself further and further away from my friends. It was his fault I could not have the answers I longed for. And it was his fault I hardly ever caught a break! The last time I spoke to him, we argued. MiM, of course, was calm and did not raise his voice, but I could not contain my ire.

"Just a few days – a week at most – to rid myself of this curse," I begged, fists clenched at my sides. "This keeper of Valentine's Day occupation is beginning to sicken me."

MiM apologized, but I did not feel that he meant it. He gently told me that there was no getting out of my destiny. He brought me back for a reason. All I had to do was be Cupid and everything would get easier in time.

"That is what you have always said!" I shouted. "How long must I suffer? You do not understand the pain I endure, MiM. I am lonely; I am exhausted; I am despondent with such a great responsibility." I felt like crying, but I did not want to.

The Man in the Moon remained silent, as if he had left me. Whether he was mulling over our conversation or simply weary of speaking to me, I did not know. My heart clenched and I began to cry. I had not spoken to him again for decades.

It was a mistake, though. After a while, my anger soothed and I felt chipper again. But undoubtedly, I felt more alone than I had before. Now I had no one to speak to, even though I was not angry anymore. That is what I found out about myself when I was reborn. Hatred was not a feeling I knew of. I grew upset, yes, and no doubt I knew sadness, but the most of my emotions were joy and love.

This instance was the only period of time in my life that I felt genuinely angry at the world. Because of the low I had fallen into, I became interested in tragic romances. It was my favorite kind of love to produce. Though I could only occasionally glance from the sidelines, I knew the drama that came from tragic romances. It was more entertaining than seeing a happily ever after like in the stories I read. Somehow, a darker part of me could not turn away from a heroic death in the arms of your lover. I suppose it was ironic: the fact that I enjoyed situations like this when I lived it, too. Had I not died for love?

Perhaps that realization is what ameliorated my abhor for MiM. I promised myself we would speak again someday, but for the time being, I just wanted my time for peace before I actually thought about my life again.

So, love and tragedy were my routine for a long time. The only time I was able to see the family was when Aeliana had a crush. From what I saw, she was getting so big. I wondered what the rest of the family was like. Ten years for mortals was just a year and a half for me. Which is why when I finally decided it was time for a break and I had to visit them, I was shocked at all the change.

Aelia and Domitus had aged a lot and it showed. Paulus was just a baby when I last saw him. It was baffling to see how much he had grown. He was not yet a teenager, but he was taller for a boy his age. Aeliana was older than him, though, and I knew it would not be long before Domitus chose a husband for her, too. She was beautiful, just like her mother and sister. Whatever man Domitus chose would kill to have a bride like her.

The older children were harder to find. Agrippa had moved out shortly after Cupid did. He moved to the other side of town, closer to his job. There was a woman who lived just next door whom I had shot not long ago. She was in love with Agrippa, but he was too focused on his career to notice women. Cupid moved even further than Agrippa. I learned that it was not her will to leave her family, but Julius had complete control over her life. I visited her for a short time and already I learned much about their relationship.

She had two children and they were trying for more. Julius was abusive to both his wife and his lovely daughters. This was one tragic romance I was not interested in. Seeing Julius hurt Cupid infuriated me. I wished I could take him down a notch. Cupid was just a defenseless girl; she did not even know how to fight. With my father bringing me up much like a boy, I was sure I was tougher than Julius thought he was. But, as a spirit, I was powerless over Cupid's life.

Or so I thought.

I visited again and again over the following years until I hatched up a plan. It took a while for me to catch Julius at the right time, but I caught him. He was taking his daughters to play in a meadow with other children. It was there that I decided to test if I could play with people – if I could stray from destiny and make my own. A woman was also there. A widow who enjoyed watching children she could not have. I thought she deserved to be happy again, like Cupid.

I waited for just the right time to strike. Calculate when they would cross paths. And fire! I shot the woman and I shot Julius, hoping my plan would work. When Feelings began to emanate from both their bodies and they held each other's stare, I leapt into the air.

"Yes!" I shouted, doing a flip and then landing on my feet beside Julius. Crossed my arms and smirked. "Well, Julius, it was nice knowing you," I said mockingly, collecting his Feelings. "I suppose I will not have to worry about Cupid anymore, hm? Considering you will not be around to bother her any longer!"

After collecting the woman's Feelings, I stored them away in my pouch. I had been ignoring the calls of duty all day, so bidding adieu to Julius forever, I flew off to continue my work.

It was a mistake. It was a mistake and I should have known it. But I thought it would help Cupid! I was so sure Julius would leave her, and everyone would be happy. That was not the case at all. In fact, it was the opposite. Julius and the widow were not meant to be in love, so their relationship was complicated. They felt so much attraction for one another, but did not know why. So now, not only was Julius beating Cupid, he was also cheating on her.

He made it obvious, but Cupid could not do anything. She did not want to tell her father because she felt that he would not do anything about it. It was not like they could stop being married. So Cupid lived out her days, even more miserable than ever. Julius was confused about his feelings, but he would never leave her alone. Cupid's pain was because of me.

Domitus chose Aeliana's husband for her, and thankfully she fell in love with him. I was so relieved for that because after the incident with Cupid, I was terrified. I did not want what happened to Cupid to happen to Aeliana. I might be tempted to interfere again, and that, I learned, only led to trouble.

After Aeliana fell in love with her new husband, I stayed away from the family. I could not face them again after what I did. And though I did not want to, I forced myself to stay away for as long as I could. Eventually I lost track of time again. With no one to keep me company, I began to feel small and insignificant, despite my importance. I hoped my quarrel with MiM did not last much longer. But, like with the family, I was afraid. I did not want MiM to be upset with me anymore, but I did not know how to get him to be on my side again. How could I just start up a conversation after all these years?

I did not know how many years it had been for humans, but for me, it felt like five years. Five long years with not much to highlight. There were a few beautiful romances I witness. And I even heard my name murmured different places. Most who mentioned me were poets. But hope as I might, no one saw me. I pondered for a long time why that was. In the end, I chalked it up to the fact that they called me he. So when people talk about me, they must be thinking about Cupid, the god of desire for whom I was named after.

Wonderful.

After all these years, I made my through Rome once more. It was the first time in a long time I had used my legs to get anywhere. Though my legs felt like jelly at first, I quickly got used to it and reveled in walking. I avoided going through people when I could, but the first time I did, I promised myself I would just fly. Thankfully, that did not happen, so the walk to Aelia's was enjoyable.

Because I did not want to startle anyone by opening the front door, I hurried around to the back. Someone was back there, preparing the dirt for seeds to be harvested. It was a man, but he was not familiar. He was exceptionally handsome and muscular. The man stood straight and tall, wiped his brow. His hair was dark and his eyes were light. I swear, I thought I might have been producing Feelings!

"Uncle! Uncle!" a small voice came from inside the house. Blinking, I turned just in time for a small boy to run right through me. I winced and watched him jump into the sweaty man's arms. The man laughed and held the child tightly. "Uncle Paulus, we have come to visit you!" the boy exclaimed.

I nearly fell in surprise. Paulus?! But this man – he-he was grown! He was handsome! Paulus was just a young boy! My head was spinning as an older man came through the door, smiling. Paulus called the man Agrippa and they began talking to each other. I had missed so many years. So many more years than before.

My heart jumped into my throat when a thought came to my mind. I rushed inside, into Aelia and Domitus's room. Sure enough, all their belongings were gone. I checked every room and it was like they were never there. All that remained of them was a beautiful portrait that hung in the living room. I felt as though I was going to collapse.

How could I miss it? Aelia, Domitus, they…they were gone. They were gone and I missed it. Their last moments. The final years of their lives. Tears brimmed my eyes and I sank to the floor. What had I done? I let my shame take over me. I let it keep me away from the only people who mattered the most to me.

I sat there and cried for an hour. Life resumed around me, but Aelia and Domitus were not a part of it.

…That night, I sat in the graveyard where my best friends were buried. Once again, I ignored the world that needed me. At the moment, I could only think of the two who had fallen without me. Honestly, I had had forgotten that they were only mortal and would die. While here I sat, forever young. Immortal. Lost in time.

A voice called my name and I looked up to the sky. There the full moon sat, watching me as he had been all these years. I swallowed hard and wiped my tears. Clutching my arms, I stood and searched for the words to say to him.

"MiM," I started, "I want to apologize. I let myself stray from Domitus and Aelia and now look where they are." I hiccupped. "I do not wish for that to happen to you, too. I should have never disrespected you in such a way. I…I do not want to be alone anymore!"

I began crying again. A breeze played with my hair and dried my tears. I felt MiM's smile shining down upon me. Bringing my eyes up to the sky, I saw a familiar sight. Golden sand filled the sky. It stretched in all directions, into people's homes. Often, as I flew through the night air, I witnessed this majestic sight. I never knew where it came from or how long it had been going on, but the sand was always there. Then MiM said…that I was never alone. I have never been alone. I will never be alone again.

The voices that sang in my head, telling me the names of those who needed me, suddenly ceased. MiM told me to find the Sandman. Follow the waves of gold and I will never be alone again.

Outstretching my wings, I cautiously flew up to the sky. In the distance, there was a mass of gold. Doing as MiM instructed, I followed the path of the sand. Excitement was bubbling in my stomach. Where could this lead? MiM said that if I followed the sand, I would not be alone anymore. My wings flapped harder, bringing me closer to my target. Feeling daring, I let my hand sift through the sand. From my touch, the sand sparkled brighter. An image of two people rose from the sand. The man and woman danced hand in hand. They were made of the same substance!

It sparkled, was brighter than the morning sun. It made me feel…safe. All my worries and woes of Domitus and Aelia were far behind me as I finally came to a stop atop a cloud of sand. At the center, a small man stood, waving his hands, sending out the sand to different homes. He was stout and his hair spiked in different directions. His clothes seemed to be made of the same sandy material. When he noticed there was a stranger on the cloud, he turned and gave me a great smile, waving. His eyes were the color of sap. Warmth emanated from him. I felt at home.

Tears sprang to my eyes. Tears of happiness, of relief. He could see me. This man that I had only heard of as a child, could see me! He was the Sandman, bringer of good dreams to all the children of the world. He was an immortal just like me.

A/N: Hello, all! :D Man, I love this story. I also love all you who have favorited/followed, and especially my only reviewer so far, Xaeria! But even if you haven't reviewed, favorited, followed, or anything, I keep track of how many people actually read this and that's what keeps me going. I say that as long as there's one person out there reading, I won't stop. :3

So! I'm sorry it took so long to get to the actual characters that take up the majority of the story. I just really didn't want to rush into anything. I wanted to take things slow and show you more about her first years and how she coped with being a new spirit. I feel you get to know her better now. If that is what is putting off a lot of you – that it took five friggin' chapters to meet an important character – I apologize!

Anyway, the next chapter is on its way! So stay tuned and stay shiny. Thank you for reading! n w n