thank you again for all the great reviews, i am glad you are enjoying the story. for anyone wondering what is happening to Dean, well, the mystery unfolds.

D: i am just doing this for fun, please dont sue me :)

SOMETHING LOST

Chapter 11

Dean descended the stairs as quietly as he could, the sound of metal against metal rising up to meet him. He knew he had to somehow make this right, somehow make up for his little brother's comments. He wanted to take care of her, to protect her, to make everything bad in her life go away, but he knew that that was impossible. He had promised her once, along time ago, that he would never let anything bad happen to her, that he would never let the darkness have her, let evil touch her again. And he had failed, he had left her, and look what happened. Her family was dead, and that broke the stoic hunter's heart.

He knew Evelyn and Tom, remembered them fondly, admirably. They were like another family, something he had been craving ever since his mother had been taken from him. He could still remember his life before the fire, remember sitting on the plush rug of their living room, learning to count, learning to read, and declaring solemnly one day the cookie monster was his hero. And life with Kerri, though still a far cry from life with his mother, reminded him of those peaceful days. It was a little bit of normal in his tumultuous life, and it was something that he sorely missed.

It was just another thing that had been ripped away from him, another tease. He had been shown happiness, been aloud to partake in joy, and he had then been told that it was beyond his reach, outside of his limited choices. He wasn't Dean the family man, he was Dean the hunter, and fate would not allow him to be anything else. He had always been so jealous of his little brother, so reluctant to dream of the normal life Sam strived to live. After all, every time he thought, even for a moment, that there was something good in his life it was ripped away, stolen from his impoverished heart. So he decided one day, at the age of sixteen, that his wishes weren't worth praying for anymore.

"Are you sure you wanna leave Sam up there all alone?" Kerri asked quietly as Dean descended the last stair, her back to the hunter once more. She was cleaning up her station, replacing everything she had left out when her friends returned. The room was just as Dean had remembered it, shards of brightly colored glass sparkling in the weak light stood out starkly against the black bars of iron.

It reminded him so much of his lost friend, the fiery young girl that had given him a run for his money as a child. She could keep up with every prank he pulled, and spar with him for hours on end, and then quietly retreat into her artwork, transforming herself from a scruffy tomboy to a soulful woman in a matter of minutes. And, suddenly, he found himself missing her all over again.

"He's fine. He's still in the library, behind the salt."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know."

"It's ok, Dean."

"No, it's not. He shouldn't have spoken to you like that."

"He doesn't know me." The words were spoken softly but Dean could still feel the power behind them, still feel the loss lacing through her athletic frame. The last bit of her past, the last thing she had left, didn't remember her, didn't feel anything for her. It was like that last bit of water finally draining from cupped hands, the last bit of a dream finally fading in the breaking day. She had held on to the Winchesters, relied on the memory of them, on the idea that they may one day come back. And now they had, and it just seemed so very wrong. Kerri had remembered them as children, and now she had to get to know them as adults, and she didn't think she was up to the task.

"Yes he does."

"No, Dean, he doesn't. What was he, twelve, the last time I saw him?"

"It doesn't matter. He grew up with you."

"That doesn't mean anything. Sometimes life gets in the way of our memories."

"That still doesn't make what he said to you right."

"Are you angry at Sam or yourself?"

Dean never knew how she did it, maybe it was woman's intuition, but she always seemed to know exactly what was bothering him, and exactly what to say to make him open up. When he was about ten he had actually gone so far as to perform a binding spell on her, explaining innocently to his enraged father that it was ok, that she must be putting spells on him. Even now, he still smiled when he thought about it, she always did seem to get him into trouble.

"I promised I would keep you safe."

"You were eleven."

"I still promised."

"This isn't your fault. Things happened that were out of our control, none of us could have known how things would turn out."

"How can you just roll over and accept it like that? I mean, your sister is dead. Feel something!" Kerri's stoic demeanor had Dean unnerved, it was unnatural for someone to be so calm, so collected when his world was tail spinning completely out of control. He needed her to confined in him, needed her to know she could trust him, needed life to be the way it was before, even if it were only a facade.

"What do you want me to say, that it killed me? That apart of me died that day? Because it did, but there's nothing I can do to change it. The past is the past, Dean, I can't just hop in a time machine and fix it. What good is it gonna do me to sit around and think about what a failure I am, how badly I screwed up? Yeah, my family is dead and it's my fault. I've felt something, Dean, I've felt something everyday for two and a half years, but I can't dwell on it, I can't let the guilt kill me. I wont."

A light knocking silenced Dean before he had a chance to answer, before he could tell Kerri that she was wrong, that her family's death was not her fault. Sam slid sluggishly down the last few steps, his shoulders stooped, large brown eyes downcast as he entered the room, looking so much like a wounded puppy, that neither Kerri nor Dean could remain mad at him.

"Uh, I think I found something."

"Any day now." Dean chided with raised eyebrows, he could already feel his energy draining, goose bumps beginning to cover his trembling body as the air around him grew cold. Another attack was coming, and he didn't know how much time they had.

"Back in the 1870s a mother and her eight year old son were accused of witchcraft. Four babies in the household next door all died within a month of each other. The town accused the widowed woman of cursing them and they attacked, chased them to the mine and then set fires all through it. They never came out again."

"God damn witchcraft fanatics." Kerri sighed, scrubbing her hands across her face. "Always seem to make the job harder. None of them ever found real witches either."

"Yeah, group hysteria really has a way of making people... You know... Hysterical." Dean finished slowly, obviously losing control of his thoughts somewhere between the beginning and end of his statement.

"Seems that way." Sam answered sheepishly, shuffling farther into the room, still refusing to make eye contact with Kerri. He couldn't express how bad he felt about what he had said to her, couldn't begin to tell her that he wished he could remember, wished his mind would stop blocking whatever it was that he had suppressed all those years ago. But two years on the road with Dean had somehow effected his ability to induce chick flick moments.

"Do you know where the bodies are buried?" Dean asked, sinking slowly onto a near by stool. His sweaty and pale skin was not lost on either Sam or Kerri as his breathing began to come in short, uncontrollable gasps. They knew what was happening. Dean's mind was swimming, vision falling into darkness as the air around him grew frighteningly still, his body sinking softly to the ground as Kerri and Sam lowered him gently to the floor.

"That's the thing. They weren't buried. The mines were barren by the time they were set on fire. No one ever went in to look." Sam spoke quickly as he lifted his brother's shirt, Dean's head resting in Kerri's lap, the girl brushing his hair back as she checked over the bruises that were again forming on his tense body. She was so professional yet still so caring, and Sam immediately felt safer, calmer, knowing that she was there with them.

"That's just great. So why attack me, I wasn't bugging anyone."

"Jeremy Swan." Kerri chimed in as he took Dean's hand, the older hunter's face twisted in pain as the burns began to start again. "The mother's spirit must have been protecting him as well as her son. She probably got confused when you burned his bones, though the townspeople were burning her kid again."

"This just sucks." Dean bit out as his eyes began to dip closed, unconsciousness calling him away.

"Don't worry, Dean. I'll take care of you, I promise." Kerri whispered as the older Winchester's world finally fell to darkness.

"Kerri, we don't have time to search all the caves." Sam began tiredly, worried eyes locked onto his brother's unconscious face.

"Well, if Jeremy latched onto them then they have to be somewhere near the school."

"I know, but that's still a lot of ground, I can't search it all myself, and Dean's in no condition to go hiking through mines."

"What am I, chopped liver?"

"You'll come?"

"Of course I'll come, Sam. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one."

"You sound like you're channeling my brother."

"Don't say mean things." Kerri smiled as Dean's body began to relax against her. The attack had been bad, much worse then the last. The gashes across his chest and abdomen were very deep, too deep and the burns, they were third degree at least. Both Kerri and Sam knew that if the attacks got any stronger, Dean's injured body would not be able to survive them. "Can you help me move him upstairs?"

"Yeah." Sam answered quietly as he scooped his brother up in his arms, Kerri guiding him up the narrow staircase.

"Can you get me the kit above the kitchen sink?" Kerri asked after Sam had laid his brother on the sofa in the back room once more, Dean's lips turning a slight shade of blue as Kerri began to cut away his bloody T-shirt. "I'm gonna need to stitch up some of these cuts. And don't worry." She said after a beat, blue eyes meeting Sam's troubled brown ones. "I have Lidocaine and all the proper supplies. It will be like a real doctor doing it."

"Hey, Kerri." Sam began handing her the supplies she had requested. "Thanks for everything you've done for us. I didn't mean to snap earlier, it's just, so much has been happening over the last few years. I just feel so out of control."

"It's ok, Sam. No offense taken. I know how hard this life can be and I know how thick headed your brother can be, but you can trust me, I'm one of the good guys."

"I know, its just that we've been double crossed by a lot of the good guys lately."

"There's a war coming, Sam, and desperate times make people do desperate things. But Dean made a promise to me once, he told me that he would keep me safe no matter what. And I swore then that I would do the same, for both of you."