The tense silence in the room was thick, and even the sound of a breath passing from one's lips probably could have shattered it.

Eduard's stare was one of shock and scrutiny as he searched his friend's face for something, anything, to help him make sense of the strange turn of events. He was almost waiting for Tino to tell him that it was all a joke, or maybe for him to at least go on and explain further, but neither of the two happened. So there they sat, staring at one another, Eduard with his head reeling and Tino with some strange sort of shameful-pride.

"It wasn't his fault."

The Finn's voice cut the silence like a knife, and Eduard could only nod slowly to him.

"Okay. Fine. You win. What do you want me to say to that?" He asked, genuinely unsure of how to progress.

"I don't know. I didn't really think about what would happen after that." Tino replied, with a slight shrug of the shoulders.

And then Eduard nodded, and then Tino nodded, and then they both averted their gazes elsewhere, Eduard's to the ceiling and Tino's to his lover's clothing in his lap. There was another lengthy silence until, once again, the Finnish teen spoke.

"Thanks for picking up the phone." He said, now fiddling with the hem of the Swedish man's shirt.

"You're welcome." Eduard replied, finally bringing his gaze back down and too his friend. "So…"

"Yeah?" Tino asked, voice soft and light, not bothering to look up.

"You're planning on getting him back." It was meant to be a question, but both of them knew that really, it couldn't be.

"Yes." The Finn responded softly again.

More silence. This time Eduard took the initiative to speak.

"It's late- ah, early now I guess..." He caught himself. "We should get some sleep."

Tino nodded limply. "Yeah." He agreed. Slowly he laid down, easing himself to the floor, and he curled up on his side and wrapped himself around the clothes that had previously been in his lap.

"Do you want another pillow? Or a blanket?" The Estonian teen asked, and Tino shook his head.

"Only sleep." He replied.

Eduard gave a soft, resigned sigh and nodded. "Alright. Sleep well."

"You too." The Finn replied, before he rolled over so that he didn't face the same direction as the other.

And for some strange reason Tino thought maybe, if he turned away, the Estonian teen couldn't hear him crying himself to sleep.

About two hours later Tino found himself awake again, and then a half an hour after that, and then another half an hour after that. At that point he had given up sleeping and opted to instead try and sort out the mess inside of his head, which seemed increasingly difficult the more that he thought about it.

It started out simple enough. He pushed Berwald too far. Alright. He knew that was why he was in this mess right now. He knew that he needed to find Berwald next. Easier said than done… if he did manage that, then surely he owed the man an explanation. That was where things started to get... messy. Berwald probably already knew what had happened, hence why he left, so the next logical question was why. Oh, how the hell was he supposed to explain that? He was pretty sure that hey baby, I'm sorry that I scared you, I just have a fetish for being choked because that's how I cope wasn't going to go over well. Besides, explaining what he was coping with? He had never told anyone about that yet.

Still though, as unappealing as all of this sounded, he had a sinking feeling that it would have to be done to even have a chance to get Berwald back. He couldn't even bring himself to think about what he would do without the Swedish man- he couldn't lose him. He was already in enough pain merely separated from him, and he didn't even want to think about what it would be like if he could never have him again. He… he loved the Swede. He hadn't meant to fall for him, and he hadn't meant to grow so attached, but he had. And now he needed him. The hole in his chest was proof.

He was restless, now, and he stood up on weak legs, still cradling the pile of cloth in his arms. For the first time in months he supposed that he would have to return to his room, and dejectedly he reached into Berwald's jean pocket where he haphazardly threw his things before he left the room to fish out his key and his phone. Once the two were in his hand he took a breath and made his way over to the door, opening it and sliding out of the room as quietly as possible.

No one was up at this hour, and for that Tino was glad. He couldn't bring himself to interact with anyone right then. He looked like a complete mess, staggering down the hallway with his arms full, but really he could care less how he looked. There were more important things to worry about. He made the turn around the corner and started towards his room, slowly and hesitantly. God, he didn't want to do this. Not alone. Not without Berwald to take his hand, assure him that it was all fine, it was just a room that they would lay together in and everything would be okay just like it always was-

But he wasn't there, and it was certainly not okay.

When he finally arrived he stood still for a moment, hesitating before sliding the key into the hole and listening to it grind against metal as it turned. When he finally pushed the door open, the air inside of the room met the air outside in what sounded like a heavy sigh, and Tino could taste the staleness as he breathed. It was disgusting, and he hated the way it weighed down like lead in his lungs. Still though, he moved forward, towards the bedside table that was now caked with dust and pulled open a drawer.

The clothes that he had left behind looked almost new to him seeing as he hadn't worn them for months. He eventually pulled a loose t-shirt out and dug up a hoodie before pulling on one of the two pairs of jeans that he could find. Once he was dressed he surveyed the rest of the room to see if there was anything else of use to him. The cupboard on his desk was still half open, and he smiled bitterly when he remembered his emergency vodka. Ah. He hadn't drank in a while, not since he had scared Berwald that one night. He had stopped for the most part. That meant he was good, right? He had been good, hadn't he? So then why was Berwald gone? How come Berwald was gone so that it hurt?

He met Berwald when he drank, though. Gliding over the floor he made his way to the bottle and picked it up, walking to sit on the edge of his bed once he had it. When he sat the key in his pocket stabbed his hip angrily, and he winced slightly. It hurt, just not enough for him to move. Not right then, anyway. He fiddled with the phone in his hands, trying to decide what to do.

It was early, yes, about three-thirty in the morning to be exact. No one in their right mind should be awake right now, and he definitely wasn't so that must have been why he sat there right then, thinking such things at such an hour. He wondered, though- was Berwald in his right mind, or was he awake right now, thinking these things, too? He couldn't help himself any longer.

To: Berwald

Hey baby,

I'm really really sorry about scaring you like that. I know that texts are generally frowned upon for this sort of thing, but… fuck baby, I just needed to get in touch with you somehow, I don't know how to find you. I miss you. I'm sorry. What I did there was wrong of me, I know. I'm willing to do whatever you want to make it up to you. Just say the word- I can touch you, and you can call me wife, and we'll do whatever makes you happy. Just please… for god's sake I can't do this without you. Please baby. I love you.

I need you Berwald.

Sent: 3:38 am

His thumb ached slightly after typing what should have been an email (or even better, words) in T-9, but he didn't particularly notice. Sleeplessness was setting in, but he still couldn't sleep. Not yet. He took a quick swig of liquid courage and waited. He waited about five, then ten minutes without a reply before starting another text, and a pattern of waiting and texting and hoping for a reply.

When Berwald woke the next morning Nikolai was already up and dressed, sliding his tea-thermos into his back pack. It confused him slightly as to why he hadn't heard the alarm go off, and vaguely he registered that the Norwegian male was speaking. The sounds were muffled along with his sight, seeing as sleep still had its hold on him, but eventually he began to make out the conversation.

"Yeah, I don't want him here alone." Nikolai said, and Berwald inferred that he was the one being spoken about.

"Course babe, it's no problem. Really, you know I don't mind missing a day." Mathias responded.

"I know- I just feel guilty. I'll take notes for both of you."

At that, Berwald felt a pang of guilt, but still couldn't respond yet.

"Don't over-exert yourself babe- just get the notes for him, I can look off of yours later, ja?"

"Ja- but I'll take care of it."

"You're really good to me, you know that?" Mathias asked. It was a rare, tender moment between the two, and Berwald almost felt like he was intruding by even being there.

"I try."

"You succeed. I love you."

At that Nikolai turned away from his bag and walked over to the other, pressing a kiss to Mathias's lips before responding.

"I love you, too."

And then all of the loneliness and heartbreak and longing shot back into Berwald's consciousness, and his chest tightened.

"So wait for a bit before I go and grab breakfast, right?" Mathias asked, not dispelling any of the pain Berwald felt in his chest but keeping his train of thought from going too much further that very second.

"Yeah. Once everyone's in class just go down and grab something, the guys in the caf don't care if you're late. Anyway, I think he likes eggs and sausage, right?"

Berwald could tell that they were talking about him again.

"Yeah, pretty sure. If not he can have my waffles."

"Alright. Well, stay out of trouble. I'll be back soon."

"We'll be fine babe. Have a good day, see you soon."

There was another brief kiss between the two lovers, and Berwald's chest tightened all over again. After the two parted the Norwegian boy pulled his bag over his shoulder and set off to start his day, leaving his other two companions in the room. Berwald, as much as he knew that he should say something, couldn't figure out what to say- luckily, he didn't have to.

"You know, Waldy, Nikki lets you pretend to sleep because he's a softie, but we both knew you were awake." The Danish teen said, a grin on his face.

Caught, the Swede rolled over to face his cheerful friend.

"M'sorry."

"Don't be, buddy." Mathias shrugged. "I do it too. Hell, if I do it long enough Nikki still lets me stay back from classes." He laughed. "Remember when we used to do that?"

He did.

"Ja." Berwald responded, shaking off sleep and sitting up. "Why're we stayin' back today?" He asked, as though he didn't already have some idea.

"Waldy, you act like you didn't just show up on our doorstep at some ungodly hour of the night." The Dane said. "Look, I know you're not ready for all of that drama and bullshit that always happens here. Let's not pretend that you are."

"Fair enough." The Swedish teen responded.

"Yeah. Nikki thought he'd give you some time to think, compose yourself, stuff like that. And of course I'm here because well, we wouldn't want you to do anything you'll regret later in the heat of the moment."

"Ahm not tha' stupid."

"Didn't say you were stupid. Just crazy. Sex, love, heartbreak- it makes people do crazy shit, man."

At that all Berwald could do was nod in agreement, and after a pregnant pause Mathias stretched, speaking again.

"Once everyone leaves the cafeteria then I'll go and get food. Can I trust you not to do anything too wild?"

"Of all people yer talkin', Mathias?" The Swede asked, softly, with a weak but playful smile, and the other let out a hearty laugh.

"Good point."

In the middle of another text (Tino couldn't even count how many he had sent at this point) his phone rang. He jumped, heart racing, but slowing upon realizing no, it was not Berwald. Just Eduard.

"Hello?" He answered after picking up the call. His voice was hoarse, and he struggled to remember when it had gotten that way. Or maybe it had been all night. Morning. What time was it again?

"Tino, where are you?" Eduard asked, concern evident in his voice. Tino just yawned a little and leaned back before answering.

"In my room…" He finally murmured.

"Don't just run off like that. I was worried about you."

"I'm fine…"

"Tino?"

"Hm?"

"Don't lie."

"Don't say stupid things, then."

"But I was worried about you, really."

"Don't be."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not worth it."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Why?"

"Because I bought this upon myself? Because I'm sick? Because I hurt one of the most sweet, gentle, wonderful people in the world? Take your pick, Eduard." The Finn sounded tired now, weak and on the verge of tears yet again, and the Estonian male worried for him.

"Tino… oh god Tino. Just hang on, I'm going to come and get you now, okay?"

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

"I don't."

"Why not?"

"I have things to do."

"Like?"

"Look for him."

Eduard sighed heavily. "Tino, you still have to eat. And we have class today."

"Not hungry. I can always make up the work later."

"You'd be able to think more clearly with food."

"Eduard I won't just fucking drop this because I ate something! He's way more important than food or anything my god do you think I'm a heartless monster or something-"

"No no no no no," Eduard tried to hush his friend, startled. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant you'd be able to plan better. You might actually remember something, or find someone to talk to that knows something if you had a bit more energy." He rationalized, as obsessive as it all sounded to him. "That's all I meant."

There was silence on the other end of the phone line for a while, and Eduard tentatively waited, wondering if his friend would take the explanation well and calm down. Finally the other spoke, considerably calmer.

"Okay. That makes sense."

Eduard nodded. "Can I come and get you?"

"Sure." Tino responded, subdued. Whatever. There was still no point in dragging the Estonian teen along other than to make him feel like he had done something, but that was alright. Let him think that he was important, like usual. Maybe he could even get him to help out.

"I'll be over in three minutes."

"Okay." Tino replied, knowing really, it would be closer to five, before hanging up the phone and checking the screen again.

Still no replies from Berwald- time for another text.

To: Berwald

I'm getting breakfast now baby. Come and see me? We can talk about this. I love you.

Please.

Sent: 6:48 am

The cafeteria was a bed of land mines.

Word seemed to spread like wild-fire there, and rumours always ran rampant. Even school wide announcements didn't seem to spread between students as quickly as cafeteria news. And thanks to Arthur Kirkland and Francis Bonnefoy, there was almost always news. Well, with the exception of recently.

"Mon dieu. There has just been nothing to talk about for the past few weeks, has there mon ami?" The French teen addressed his long time frenemy, forking at his eggs. "It's been quite a bore, non?"

"You just thrive on drama, don't you frog?" Arthur clipped, tiredly, before yawning slightly. Alfred chuckled.

"Aww, Artie, are you cranky?" His boyfriend teased, earning a chuckle from the rest of the table. Even Matthieu couldn't stifle a grin.

"I'm only 'cranky' because you kept me up all night you inconsiderate git."

"Kesesese, kinky." Gilbert chuckled, before France joined him in sharing a laugh.

"Why you perverted-" Arthur started, before Antonio cut in.

"Hey guys, give it a rest." The Spanish male encouraged. "Come on, you can tell he's tired."

He didn't particularly want Arthur to get too aggravated, but more importantly at that moment he didn't want to wake the sleeping Southern Italian in his lap. Lovino hadn't even made it downstairs on his own this morning. He was only here thanks to a piggy back ride that he had slept through from his boyfriend.

"Thank you Antonio." The British male replied.

"Sure thing." He grinned, moving a hand to stroke his boyfriend's hair. Crisis averted.

"Well anyway," Francis picked up, "we really must find something to do, lest we all die of boredom."

"What if we move Gerhard's office around again?" Gilbert chuckled.

"Ohh that could be fun!" Antonio grinned, and Arthur shook his head.

"I am not going to be your alibi if you do that again. Remember how close a call that was last time?" The British teen asked.

"Oh, but he questioned everyone mon amour, you mustn't worry so much-"

"Don't call me that!" Arthur snapped, and before he could launch into a complete rage something rather strange caught his eye.

Tino. Tino… without Berwald.

It took the British teen a moment to process the entire scene. There was Tino, and there was no Berwald. There was another boy- oh, what the hell was his name… Eduard. Right. There was Eduard walking close behind Tino. And Feliks and Toris hand and hand as usual, but- no, there was still no Berwald. He wasn't behind them, following. Arthur looked around the room and determined that no, he wasn't already in the cafeteria. So where was he?

While it was true that many couples were occasionally seen apart, that very rarely seemed to be the case in Berwald and Tino's relationship anymore. If one was ill, neither of them showed. And yet here Tino was, here, without his other half for some strange reason that the Englishman couldn't understand. But really, that wasn't the strangest part of this situation, though even on its own it could have raised quite a few questions. There was more still.

Though the Finn was usually perky and bright, Tino looked… well, if he was being polite the British teen would say that he looked like a compete wreck. His eyes were red rimmed and hollow, dark circles giving his entire face a rather gaunt look. His bangs were matted to his forehead, and his face was caked with tear tracks. He walked mechanically, and it was almost as though he wasn't awake, or even alive.

It was a god damn sight to see.

"Or what, mon amour?" Francis teased, waiting for a response and frowning as a minute went by without one. "Arthur?"

"Look."

"What?"

"For god's sake just look."

And finally Francis did, earlier boredom completely vanishing in favour of curiosity at the strange sight before him.

"Mon dieu he looks like hell."

The sight of food made Tino want to throw up.

Eduard had urged him to fill his plate, grabbing a few different things for him, but hell even fucking toast looked like it would be enough to make him violently ill. Awkwardly he stared at the sure to be wasted meal, and usually he would be sad but right then he just felt dizzy and tired and sick.

"Tino, you need to eat." Eduard prompted gently.

Though he heard Tino couldn't bring himself to open his lips and make a coherent response, and so he stayed silent. Toris spoke next.

"Tino, if you want we can get something else. I can go out to that little bakery, first period for me really isn't that important anyway and-" The Lithuanian started, but stopped when Tino shook his head.

"I appreciate it, Toris. I just can't eat." The Finn responded, voice barely above a whisper.

"Tino, Berwald would like, totally not want you to starve yourself like this. Eat." Feliks tried. It was a ballsy move and he knew it, lips set in a firm line as he waited for his friend to other scream at him or maybe listen.

With a bitter smile Tino looked up at the Polish teen, eyes looking even more sunken under the shadow from his bangs.

"How do you know?" he mumbled. "Maybe he thinks I deserve it."

"Honey, that is totally not okay." Feliks responded. "I like, don't know what went down between you two but he's totally crazy about you. And he wouldn't want to see you doing this to yourself."

As much as he knew that Feliks meant well, Tino just wanted him to shut up. So to placate him he picked up the piece of dry French toast and took a bite, chewing it until it almost dissolved in his mouth before swallowing. The other three watched him carefully, as though monitoring a child. Really, he didn't want anyone's concern but Berwald's- this was just overbearing. He had to swallow his annoyance so that they didn't press him further. By the time it was time to get to class he hadn't even finished the entire piece, but it was enough to satisfy the others that he had at least eaten something. He was glad that they couldn't follow him to the bathroom during that first period to watch him stick his finger down his throat and vomit the whole thing back up right after.

While he was there he sent a few more texts that he hadn't been able to under the others' breakfast scrutiny.

To: Berwald

I'm supposed to be in first period. I'm not. I don't want to be. I want you.

Sent: 7:41 am

To: Berwald

Do you know how much I love you? It's so much it hurts.

Sent: 7:45 am

To: Berwald

Please say something. Anything is fine. For your wife, sweetie?

Sent: 7:48 am

To: Berwald

I need you.

Sent: 7:52 am

Mathias wasn't gone too long. He really only gave Berwald enough time to sit up and examine the room a bit before he was back with the food.

"Takk." Berwald thanked him, and took a plate. He was exhausted, and he was sure that some food would help him sort things out at least a little more efficiently than before.

"No prob, dude." Mathias responded, biting into a waffle.

The two, though they had been apart for about three years until last evening, hadn't seemed to have lost their ability to understand one another. They ate without any major discussion, Mathias occasionally making some trivial comment and Berwald responding with a nod or a hum.

Eventually, when they finally finished their food, Mathias sat on the head of the bed and gestured for Berwald to sit across at the foot of it.

"Alright Waldy. Let's talk."

"Mmkay. 'Bout what?" The Swede asked. There was actually a lot that they could be talking about at that moment.

"Your situation, obviously. Isn't that the priority here?" The Danish male asked.

"Ja. Ah jus' though' ya' coulda' meant…"

Mathias sighed. "That's important too, but I know right now you're way more concerned about your boy."

"Ah can't stop thinkin' 'bout him." Berwald sighed, quietly.

"I know. Now tell me what happened from your point of view." Mathias prompted.

Berwald struggled to string together a semi-coherent response.

"Well, when he… pushed me, Ah guess Nikolai said-" He started, but was cut off by Mathias.

"No. Look, I love Nikki more than my own life but I'm not blind. I know he's pushy, and he will force his own opinion into things. He means well, but I know it doesn't always help. I'll let you hear his advice later- well, more accurately he won't let you leave without it, but for now let's look at just the situation from the way you saw it, unedited." Mathias redirected.

Berwald took a breath and thought, body still as a statue. What did happen? It all seemed like a blur, really. He wasn't even sure what it was himself, but… well, maybe he hadn't thought about it in depth. It scared him to think about it, really. But he supposed Mathias did have a wise idea to look at the situation. Didn't he have to if he expected to fix anything?

"We were makin' love." Berwald started this time. "Ah… Ah didn't think anythin' was out of the ordinary. It was good… He was good. He was so considerate. Ah tried to be gentle. Ah…" He sighed. "Ah did my best."

"What do you mean he was considerate?" Mathias pressed.

"Do Ah really hafta explain this?" Berwald asked.

"Not if you don't want. But you do need to think about what you mean." The Dane insisted.

He had a point. Truthfully, Berwald did appreciate it. There were some things that Mathias knew how to do right.

"Ah guess Ah mean he focused on me." Berwald sighed. "Went along with what Ah wanted. He let me be in control."

"Alright. What does that mean to you?"

"... Tha' he loved me. Ah thought tha' he loved me."

"So when… uh." Mathias paused, rethinking his wording. "What happened that interrupted that?"

"His and mah hands on his throat." The Swede replied, quietly.

"Why did that stop you?"

"Mathias, why the hell wouldn't it?" He asked, almost exasperated.

"Berwald, I'm asking you to think through this again."

The Swede rubbed his temples in an attempt to calm himself, and then answered. "Ah dun wanna hurt him. Ah never wanna hurt him."

"Did you think you were hurting him?"

"Yes."

"But you did not set out to, and you did stop it." Mathias pointed out.

"But Ah was involved."

"Involved and intending are two different things."

"But mah hands were on him either way."

The Dane nodded. He wasn't sure what else to say. "And so you left."

"Ah didn' have another choice." Berwald said, voice holding remorse. He didn't want to.

Mathias considered arguing the matter at that point, but this was no conversation of could-haves and would-haves. This was strictly observation and dissection of consciousness.

"Is that everything that happened?" The Danish teen asked.

"Essentially."

"Essentially?"

"Ah dunno what else Ah can say. Thought everythin' was fine, then just… tha'." The Swedish teen said, still sounding as though he was trying to cope with the idea.

"Is there anything else that stood out to you? Anything at all?"

Berwald thought for a while longer, and then finally shook his head. "No. Tha's wha' happened."

Mathias nodded. "Did you ever feel forced?"

"Ah…" Berwald sighed. "Ah don't know. Ah mean, he seemed urgent cause we both needed some… but Ah dunno. Ah know Ah didn't wanna put mah hands on his throat. But… but Ah jus can't believe that he put 'em there. Ah know he had to have, but… Ah jus' can't see it."

"So you did not feel forced or threatened?"

"No. Ah felt confused… an' scared." He added the last part, quietly. "Ah didn' wanna think tha' Ah could hurt him like tha'."

"You're most worried about hurting him, not him hurting you?" Mathias asked.

"Physically yes."

"What do you mean by that?"

Berwald paused again, and swallowed. "Ah mean Ah'd be the one ta' hurt him worst physically, 'f we had to compare. But if he left me Ah'd be hurt worst. Ah… Mathias he's so perfect. It'd be easy fer him to pick up an' go. But he's the best thing that's ever happened in mah life, and the best thing that ever will at that. Ah can't let him go."

"So you want to stay with him?"

"Yes. Ah love him, Mathias. Even if it isn't good fer either of us- makes me a bad person, ja?"

"No, you're a normal person. We're only human, we have our needs. Sometimes those needs make us make questionable decisions… I've hurt people because of it." Mathias added, lowly, a bitter smile on his face.

"Yer talkin' abou' tha' now, aren't ya'?" Berwald asked. He knew this was no longer just about himself and Tino any longer.

Mathias chuckled and sighed, scratching his head before responding.

"Well, no reason to beat around the bush now is there? Look, Berwald. There's a lot that I could say about what happened, but… well, I'll try and keep this short, because hell if you let me this could go on for hours. I'm sorry I was a dick. I'm sorry I made it a you-versus-me situation. I'm sorry I successfully pushed away probably the best friend I ever had in my life- you really were, and I was dumb not to see my luck. And I'm sorry the first time we saw each other again was because your douche bag boyfriend landed you crying at the door- shh, don't tell me he is or isn't right now, just let me finish." Mathias said, and surprisingly Berwald listened.

"I'm sorry that over all of the years I pretended that I fucking hated you, and made Nikki go along with it. I'm fucked up Waldy, and you know it. But that's not a good reason or a reason at all, and I'm sorry about that too. Listen- Nikolai misses you. I miss you. The door is always open, whether you actually need a place to crash or not, and even just a visit now and again would be really nice. Whatever the occasion you're always welcome. Just remember that. And I am always reachable, even after we, you know, grow up and leave here and go into the world."

And somehow, Berwald couldn't bring himself to fight Mathias and his rare sincerity. It was true- he had hurt him. He had hurt all of them. Yet here the Dane was, back in that old role of trying to hold all three of their worlds on their shoulders, and even if it didn't undo the years he had spent isolated and essentially hated by most of the school, he had to at least appreciate all he had done in the past not even twenty four hours. He took him back in like nothing ever happened, and really, even with everything that had been left unresolved, it was the best choice he could have made- it was considerate of Berwald's needs.

Even if sometimes Mathias was misguided, the man's heart was mostly in the right place.

"Thank yoo." He answered, dumbly, and Mathias just gave a nod.

"That's an invitation, you know." The Dane clarified.

"Ja. Ah'll take it up."

Mathias seemed satisfied with the answer for the moment, and silence rang of the walls for a few moments.

"What are you going to do now?" The Danish teen finally asked.

"Ah dunno. Ah need ta' think."

The Dane nodded. "Take your time. You know we don't mind."

"Thanks."

It didn't seem right to talk after that. Berwald needed to process everything he had just heard, and Mathias could tell by his friend's far off stare. So they settled into a still silence, Mathias for once patient and Berwald coming to terms with his situation.

Not another word was spoken until Nikolai came back after classes.

Author's Note: Oh my god a reasonably timed update. This is an accomplishment. So there's a lot going on in this chapter, things are advancing. The next will be even jucier ;P Thank you for reading, even through all of the obnoxious scene changes. That's just the way it is, eh heh heh.

Reviews could make me a happy girl.

EDIT: Okay guys, so I promise I'll reply to the reviews soon, but I just need to take care of this anon first because I feel that she or he left me the perfect opportunity to say something that obviously needs to be said, judging from her or his review.

Moral Cookie: There are a lot of ways that I could start this, but they all seem a little too this or that. So, I've decided to just try and reply in semi-chronological order to your review. First off, I am glad that you appreciated Mathias here. Now, onto the rest.

Listen, I'm honestly a little offended by the way you jumped on me. Do you think that I don't know what I'm writing? Come off anon, and I'll give you another account to add to your list of people that have been in bad situations. This story is not some campaign to raise awareness on the dangers of risky sex and love, it's a psychological portrait of things that can- and do- sometimes happen in relationships. It's something meant to make you feel things, and think things, and those things are not always nice. This isn't a nice story. This isn't a beautiful romance. It's all fucked up and raw and as close to the truth as I can possibly make it with the writing skills that I have. And I don't know if you were here a few chapters ago, but I'm done changing for people. Tino shows signs of psychological dependence (as someone else insinuated) and he likes dangerous sex. Berwald went too far one night, and he's in this relationship whether it's healthy or not. If that leaves you with a disgusting aftertaste then just don't expose yourself to it. This is my heart in words, and if you don't like it then please don't read it.

That all being said, I do apologize to you because my warnings could be more frequent. In exchange for any discomfort I caused you, I will try and be better about warnings so that this does not happen again. Hopefully that and my own unease from this whole thing will serve as adequate compensation for you. You do have a good point on the weight of it all, and for that I do think you offered some very valuable insight and I'd like everyone to know that it is a serious matter. However, this story will not paint it in the way you're looking for and I'm aware of that. So I'm sorry, but this note in a margin is the best that I can do. I hope that you're satisfied at least slightly.

End rant. Thanks guys, sorry this happened again. This all being said though, this is another chance to stop reading if it's getting too heavy for you. Goodbye if you're leaving this journey here, and to those of you choosing to stay thank you. I hope that I can continue to keep your interest.