hello :) thank you all again for the wonderful reviews, they really mean alot to me. thank you all again for sticking with this story, it really took on a life of its own, but dont worry, we are getting into the home-stretch and there will be plenty of action soon enough.
enjoy:)
ps: go! eagles!!
D: Sam and Dean are on my christmas list, but i think it may be easier to get a tickle me elmo. hehehe. this is still all just for fun.
SOMETHING LOST
Chapter 18
Sam scowled deeply as the car sped down the road, his white knuckle grip tightening as he pushed harder and harder on the accelerator. He could feel the impala growling beneath him, her engine whining as he continued to push her past the limit. He was angry, scared, and lost, all his emotions boiling inside of him, fighting for dominance. And he wanted nothing more then for this hunt to be over. A little over a week ago there had been nothing in Wyoming other then a simple salt and burn, an angry young child searching revenge.
But now, well, now there just wasn't any way to really describe what he was going through. Ten days ago he had lost Dean, watched him disappear from his side, vanish into the unforgiving night. Eight days ago he had sat, alone, in a motel room, a broken man, the fear of losing his brother running through his veins like hot wax. Four days ago he had found Dean, battered and bruised but alive and with him, and he felt a pressure lift. Two days ago he had met Kerri, learned of a past he had somehow managed to forget, the normal he had craved as an adult erased from his mind. And a few hours ago, he had remembered why.
And, though no longer catatonic, his mind was still a mess, still trying to cope with the horror and the terror he had somehow suppressed for twelve years, and he needed a release or he was going to explode.
"You're hurting my baby."
"I don't care."
"Yeah, well, I do."
"Tough."
"What!"
"I said tough."
"Pull over, let me drive."
"Not a chance." Sam growled out as he tightened his grip, the wheel molding to his hands.
"Sam!" Dean replied, his voice dangerous and low. "Knock it off."
"No."
"What the hell's your problem?"
"My brother's a jackass, that's my problem."
"Yeah, well, we all know that, so don't take it out on the car!"
"Dean, you're dying and you're worried about the car!"
"I'm not dying."
"Yes, you are. You heard what Kerri said."
"She's just guessing, Sam. She's not a doctor."
"So, you're just gonna go there and hope to hell that she's wrong?"
"Pretty much."
"Dean!"
"What, Sam? What else can I do?"
"You can stay back, stay safe, let Kerri and me handle it."
"Are you nuts! Sam, this thing is dangerous."
"Yeah, and it's after you."
"I'm not gonna let you two walk in there alone."
"Why not?"
"Because, I can't lose either of you again!"
"What?"
"Sam, I just, I can't lose either of you. I just got you both back." Dean's voice broke as he spoke, his tired body slumping further into the seat, mind trying to drift away. He couldn't lose them, couldn't watch them walk into the dark knowing that they may never return, that just wasn't an option. They were everything he had in the world, everything he would ever have. His heart was so shattered, soul so drained, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to keep it all together if he lost one of them.
They were like lifelines in an ever darkening world, their voices pulling him back from the brink, guiding him back to sanity. He didn't know how everything had become so screwed up, when he had become so dependent on Sam and Kerri, all he knew was that they were his purpose. He was Sammy's big brother and Kerri's best friend, and he didn't want to be anything else, wouldn't let himself be anything less.
"What makes you think we can lose you?" Sam answered quietly, the impala slowing as he loosened his death grip. There it was plain and simple, Dean wouldn't, couldn't lose him, but he did think anything of losing himself, and that was like ice in the younger man's heart. He knew his brother thought he was strong, thought he would be ok without him, that life would be all sunshine and daisies for his little brother, but the truth of the matter was that, without Dean, Sam wasn't sure what his life would be.
Even when he was at school, thousands of miles from his brother, he still thought of him, still wondered if he would ever find Dean, standing on his doorstep. It was a thought that had helped him survive college, helped him grow, helped him live, and Sam didn't think he would be strong enough to carry on if his big brother was ever really gone for good.
"That doesn't matter."
"Yes, it does."
"You don't understand, Sammy. When Kerri went missing in the woods, I couldn't breath I was so afraid. And when... When that demon got you, Sam, I wanted it to take me, too. I can't let anything happen to you, I wont."
"Dean--." Whatever else Sam wanted to say was lost as his brother's cell phone began to ring, Dean's eyes still dark and distant and he dug it out, clearing his throat before answering.
"Yeah?"
"I'm here." Sam heard Kerri answer, her voice a bit hesitant. "How far out are you?"
"Ten minutes, don't go in till we get there."
"I'm not an idiot. And, Dean--."
"Save your breath, I'm going." And with that Dean hung up, the brothers driving the last ten minutes in silence.
6666666666666666666
The entrance to the old mines stood there before her, mocking her, like a void, a darkness that would again swallow her whole. She had lost so much in her life, had so much taken away that she knew not to get attached to things, not to hold out hope. But the Winchesters were different. They made her want to believe, made her want to hold on to the light. They were something in her life that she never wanted to lose, something in her life that she never wanted to see walk away. And that scared her more then anything. She had barely managed to survive losing her father and sister, and she knew that losing one of the brothers would destroy her.
The low growl of the impala ripped through the still air around her, calling to her as it had her entire life, signaling the boys arrival like a trumpet. For years after they had left she would awaken, ears trained to the quiet night, listening, hoping, praying for that deep growl, that soft rumble, for any sign of Sam and Dean. She would hold her breath, sure that she had heard them laughing, sure that she had heard them arrive, that when she went downstairs, they would be there. But they never were, and after her familys' deaths she found their absence even harder to bear.
The black car pulled up beside her, Kerri still leaning against the hood of her firebird, staring deeply into the mouth of the mines, willing something to stare back. She had finally gotten them back, finally had Sam and Dean by her side, and she would be damned if she was going to let some spirit take them away from her.
"Trying to think it to death?" Dean chided as he pulled himself from his car, his slow strides and labored breaths not going unnoticed by either Sam or Kerri as he leaned against the hood of the firebird.
"Wouldn't that be nice."
"Yeah, Sammy'd be like a super hero."
"You could be his sidekick."
"Nah, neither of us would look good in tights."
"Wow, you've thought this through."
"Yeah well." Dean winced as he pulled at his stitches, his hand unconsciously rubbing his chest as he waited for the pain to subside.
"Dean--."
"I'm fine."
"Oh, yeah, that's not a lie."
"Look, I already got the evil eye from Sammy, can you just cut me a break?"
Sam shot Dean a look from the trunk as Kerri continued. "Why can't you just stay here?"
"Do you even have to ask?"
"Dean, we'll be fine."
"Oh, yeah, and what if you're not?"
"Who's to say that we won't still be hurt with you in there."
"At least I'll be in there."
"What you mean." Sam stated angrily as he slammed the trunk. "Is that at least you'll be trapped with us."
"Drop it, Sam."
"Look." Kerri broke in, knowing that arguing with Dean was useless. "Let's just get this over with. The school's about four miles from here, once we get there we're gonna have to search all seven tunnels."
"Were you able to narrow it down?" Dean asked, laying back on the hood of Kerri's car, his vision suddenly swimming. He knew he was fighting a losing battle, knew that he should be in the motel, resting, but he also knew that that wasn't an option. He had to fight, had to keep Sam safe, no matter what.
"No." Kerri began quietly, trading worried looks with Sam. "That's the best I could do. As far as I've been able to find the townspeople chased the woman and her son into the back of the mine then set fires on their way back out. They never had a chance."
"Sickos."
"We should get going. The longer we stay here, the more chance there is that something will attack you again."
"Yeah, just give me a minute."
"Dean--."
"Shut it, Sam."
"Here." Sam pulled Dean up by the arm, taking on as much of his brother's weight as he could before turning to the opening of the mine, his mind racing. "We have to get this done."
"I can walk, Sam."
"Yeah, well, if your stubborn ass gets to go in, then my stubborn ass gets to help you."
"Oh, Sam, that was beautiful."
"Shut up and focus, and Dean."
"Yeah."
"The second something starts to attack you, tell us."
"Yeah, yeah."
"I'm serious."
"You always are."
Dean leaned heavily on his brother as they made their way through the abandoned mines, the wood struts creaking and moaning as the three continued down the darkened paths, Kerri leading the way. They were in over their heads, and all three of them knew it. But, like most things in their young lives, they had no control over it.
6666666666666666
The hike was slow, the trio having to stop ever few minutes so Dean could rest, his tired body finally reaching its limits in the black abyss. Sam could feel the fever beating off of him, his brother's face coated with sweat, eyes unfocused and dull in the dim light, but he knew they couldn't stop. He and Kerri took turns leading Dean as they made their way through the maze, marking their path with chalk as they moved, their eyes searching every shadow, ears perking at every noise.
It took them a little over three hours to get to the catacombs under the school, all three exhausted. Sam eased Dean down against the wall, his older brother's eyes glassy and distant as he stared around the space, his breathing coming out in short shaky gasps. Sam wanted to kick himself, knowing his brother was in no condition to be wandering through the caves. Why did he have to be so stubborn?
"Dean?"
"It's ok, Sam."
"What's ok?"
"Nothin's in the dark. I checked." Dean mumbled as his eyes drifted closed.
"Dean? Damn it." Sam cursed as he felt his brother's forehead, Dean's skin radiating heat.
"What?" Kerri asked, moving over to the brothers.
"His fever. We gotta get him out of here, Kerri."
"I know, but we gotta burn the bones first."
"We don't have time." Sam began, trying in vain to wake his brother.
"Sam, he's just gonna get attacked again. We have to burn the bones while we're here, we may not get another chance."
"Damn it."
"We can put him in a salt circle and check the caves ourselves."
"And what if he comes to and tries to find us? What if something attacks him again and we're not here?"
"We won't be able to stop it."
"Still, we should stay with him."
"All right, you stay, I'm gonna search the tunnels."
"What! Are you nuts?"
"Sam, we're running out of options here."
"Ok, ok. I'll stay, you search the first two and then come back, then I'll do the next two."
"Ok. I brought some radios. Call me if anything happens to him."
"Yeah, and Kerri."
"Yeah?"
"Be careful."
"You too." Kerri smiled before heading down the first of the seven shafts, her flashlight trained on the ground before her, hoping against hope that life would be kind and let the bones be in the first cavern. But, then again, when was her life ever easy.