They accepted me as a member of the family, but I still didn't trust them. How could I, I was a rare breed, knowing my existence would not only endanger them, but also give them the possibility of turning me in.
Closing my mind all the time was exhausting – and suspicious. I noticed the looks they gave me and I felt that they didn't trust me either.
The biggest difficulty was when they went hunting. I needed to sneak away from them to get some things I could eat. For the first days it went okay, but then they started to question my vegetarianism.
One day Carlisle talked to me very earnest, saying, that Emmett and especially Jasper didn't believe that I was a vegetarian. I had to promise him to go hunting with the boys for at least once. I wanted to tell him, that I'd rather go hunting with Alice or Rosalie or any other family-member, but I had run out of explanations. How was I supposed to tell him that it freaked me out to see those guys because they reminded me of Pete? It was the age of their appereance, which was similar, that freaked me out, I knew that. I knew that I'd even never be able to love someone again because of him.
But could he really have destroyed my ability to make male friends? I wanted to prove myself.
We went hunting the next day and I couldn't help but notice the weird glances, Jasper and Emmett gave me. Thank God Edward came with us; I really had started liking him because he seemed to be the only one trusting me.
I knew, I didn't deserve trust, but anyhow, it felt good to be trusted.
Sneaking off wasn't possible as we were only four people. Emmett was the first one to catch a something. I can't even remember what animal it was, which he ripped apart with his strength. I just know that I fainted.
I saw Emmett's huge teeth, I saw the animal's look and I heard its horrible last scream – a scream every hunted and dying creature gives. The same scream of Anastacia and Jenny. The last thing I saw was the red glistening in the eyes of the three boys, and then I blacked out.
Vampires don't faint. They simply don't. But I do. And this could have destroyed my whole cover, but I seemed to be lucky that day, I gained consciousness just before they approached me. When they stood next to me, confused, bewildered, I looked up and managed a grin. "Sorry, I tripped" I coaxed.
They didn't believe me, but what else could they have done, than pretending to do. "Your turn" Jasper announced, his mouth full of blood, his eyes still red. I nearly threw up on him, but then I reminded myself to focus. I would just have to capture the animal, pretend to drink some of its blood and then release it without anyone noticing. It was impossible to trick them.
However, I decided to give it a try and flung myself at the next rabbit. My only problem was that I missed it by a few inches. I stood up again, trying to look confident and gave it another try. I had never hunted anything before in my life, how was I supposed to catch a rabbit?
I stopped my horribly embarrassing aims and shrugged. "No luck this time" I said casually and tried to go away. But after a few steps Jasper stood in front of me, cross-armed, annoyed. "What's your problem?" he hissed at me and gave me a little push. It was never intended to hurt me, but I was no vampire, so I flew backwards, right into Emmett's arms.
He looked at me confused and with a small grin he said: "Hey love, I think we need to teach you fighting" He was nice and gentle, but I felt his muscles and I still remembered his teeth, so I struggled to get out of his hold.
He let me go instantly, although he was giving me a funny look, shrugging. "How do you eat?" he asked me bewildered. I shrugged too, mumbling something about "only dead animals", but that was crap. I had never eaten anything that used to be alive. I ate fruits and vegetables, just like humans.
When we got home Carlisle also said, that it was a great idea to teach me fighting. Jasper and Emmett were glowing, they seemed seriously happy to be able to show off with their skills. And how could they have known, that it scared me? They expected me to be just as much vampire as they were.