Chapter 4 - Coil discovers that he is NOT "THE KING. OF FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS!"

Alex Tian/Pokedex

Have I told you my house is awesome yet?

Yes? Well, my house is still awesome. Thanks again ROB!

A familiar urge to fish in my pocket appears. I oblige and find a note.

You're welcome, but do you mind… doing something? This is getting kinda boring.

Uh-oh. That's not good. I was going to just prepare for future events… but…

I mean, if there was one person I wouldn't mind getting rid of… Coil would be one of them. I mean, seriously, in all the fanfiction I've read, it somehow never failed to be satisfying when that snake bit the dust.

Kidnapping a 12-year-old girl, and drugging her to the gills? Fuck you too!

But how to make it satisfying…

I look at my base. I get a ping from my phone, which was connected to my old Earth's data. Oh, Game Theory uploaded their new timeline vi-.

I transform into a Gurrdurr, and the possibilities of construction opened up to me. I had a fabricator in my house that could give me the materials to do this, and because Pokemon are fuck-you levels of overpowered, I could finish the building in a few hours.

"Hey ROB? What are your opinions on FNAF?"

… I like you.

That's a good omen!

Thomas Calvert/Coil

5 hours later

I blink.

What the hell? What happened to the timeline where I was at home? I split the timeline again, and was about to call for help-

And the power went out. In both timelines. As I was bathed in darkness, I inhaled dust- no, they were spores and passed out.

Alex

Two facts.

One: Coil's public address is on the internet.

*Laughs in Porygon-2

Two: Did you know the majority of ground types have something similar to Earthbending's seismic sense?

*Laughs in Dugtrio

…

Coil

I woke up. I'm in a chair, in an office. In front of me was a desk that was filled with messy paperwork, posters, and an old computer. There was a fan on the desk; it was annoyingly loud. Also on the desk, is an old landline.

I try to stand. It doesn't work. I'm stuck in the chair.

Then the phone starts playing.

Alex

Ah, shit. As fun as it would be to watch Coil shit himself, I needed to disarm all of Coil's contingencies, and I had wanted to explore the house. So far, I'd only seen the entrance hall and the kitchen.

I feel inside my pocket, and pull out a note.

Eh, this is enough entertainment. Have fun!

Great!

Coil

I inhale and exhale, repeatedly, trying to calm myself down.

Let me review what is going on.

There are violent, animatronic mascots that will kill me on sight.

I am unable to move from this chair. How? I suppose it is some sort of tinkertech.

Both my timelines are stuck in this, "Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria".

The only to prevent the animatronics from killing me is to manage my power well enough, to the point where I can survive until 6 am.

For some god-forsaken reason, it requires power to keep the doors closed. The security camera and lights, I get, but how does it make any sense that it takes energy to keep the giant metal doors, which are being pulled on by the force of gravity, closed?!

A piece of paper flies into my mouth. I spit it out and freeze at the text on it.

It doesn't, lol.

,,, shit. A mind reader.

Well, looks like I'd have to play hi-

The lights start to flicker. My computer screen flares to life, and the words, IT'S ME appear.

A giant golden bear appears in the hallway. The lights completely short out.

I feel a flash of pain and as the lights resume working… then I notice that my right arm is gone.

ROBp

"Piece of shit, how DARE he assume my gender?"

I turn to the dear readers.

"Hi, guys and gals! No, I am not making an excuse to fuck with Coil more!"

Alex

I think that even James Bond would be shocked over the amount of crazy bullshit that Coil had stored in the base, not including the contingencies.

I made it a personal challenge of mine to take out all the mooks in the base undetected. With a combination of Rotom and Porygon-2 to traverse the base, Sleep Powder for most of the guards, and Thunder Wave for the rest of them, I had the base cleaned up in about 10 minutes.

While traversing the base as Porygon-2, I glanced at Coil's contingency plans.

And I thought I was petty. This guy had professional hitmen, suicide bombers, squads of mercenaries, and villain groups at this beck and call if someone managed to off him! You really couldn't have spent that money on… I don't know, something productive, or helpful? Orphanages, charities, funds to kill Endbringers, I dunno, something?

Well doesn't matter anymore. Thanks to the "Rich" perk, I get Batman's real superpower and dump half of Coil's money into my account.

The other half goes into the bank account of one Daniel Hebert. It's a win-win; Taylor's dad is a good guy, and doing his best to plug a sinking ship (oof, bad pun) and can finally be compensated for doing the impossible, the family now has the resources to make the unholy trinity (Emma, Madison, Sophia) eat shit, and I get to see Taylor's jaw hit the floor when I tell her how much money her dad has now!

Everybody wins! Except for Coil, but who gives a shit about him?

Coil

Oh god, oh god, oh god, I'm almost out of power, I need both doors closed, I will tear apart that godforsaken rabbit if it's the last thing I do!

Alex

That's right; absolutely no one!

So let's recap about how cool my house is.

This house has:

A basketball court; full-sized.

An ice rink; miniaturized.

A health and wellness wing, complete with saunas, hot tubs, salt water baths, fresh water baths (no chlorine!) and regular pools (with chlorine!)

Said pool runs throughout the outside of the house, and is connected to a nightclub section with a fully loaded bar, full of alcohols I don't even know how to pronounce.

The backyard is a large grass plain where you could probably host an offence-only pre-season American football practice.

In the corner of the backyard? A decorative stand holding up a lit Olympic torch, the same one on display in the Grouse Mountain cabin. I got to get a photo of it with a cool pose.

The kitchen is stocked with whatever the hell anybody could want. Besides poutine, my personal favourite of sushi, pizza, burgers, hot dogs, regular fries, oh shit, curry from Leblanc! I've never been a curry guy, but full SP in the metaverse (not the CYOA lol) has gotta mean something!

There's a theatre that has every streaming service, and whatever's playing at the box office at present. The individual chairs could probably fit three people on them! AND they recline!

There's also a lab. Infinite resources, the IQ of an Alakazam, Ultimate Hope, and the elite multitasking of Porygon-2 made creating the fake pizzeria easier than counting from 1-5.

Wonder how a tinker would react to this place… oh, isn't Bakuda going to trigger soon? Where is Cornell University again…

Man, AI has everything great. It's so easy to… well anything onli- oh, there it is!

Ithaca, New York!... Where is Ithaca? Oh, there it is!

Deja vu!

Okay, turn your ADHD brain off, Alex.

There's a barbecue kitchen on the rooftop, along with a putting green and a sunbathing area.

And most importantly, the mountain. Snowboarding is fun!

Speaking of fun, I head back to the theatre and pick up my bowl of half-eaten popcorn. Let's see, Coil just got to Night 4! Not bad!

… wait, why does he only have one ar-

I duck under another dodgeball.

… oh, that's why.

Coil

How long have I been trapped here?

Bombarded by animatronic monsters, the constant terror of losing the world's most limited power source, and the fan that I have to keep on (the heat rises far too high without it), I feel-

thumpthumpthumpthump-

Shit, the fox!

I slam the left door button, just as the fox materializes in the side. The banging of the door saps another 10% of my power, and my sanity.

Wait- I had 5% power left.

It was 4:30.

I rapidly breathe trying to contain my heart rate. I elect to stop using the cameras; the fox won't be a large problem from now on.

I turn on the light to my left. Nothing.

I turn it off and turn to my right, leaning over with my left arm to turn on the light.

A robotic chicken looms in the corridor.

FUCK.

SLAM goes the door.

I hold my breath… and the lights go out. The doors go up—0% power.

"Oh no."

I look to my left… and freeze.

Glowing eyes appeared in the hallway. I couldn't move

Then, as if mocking me, the second half of Toredor's March starts to play from what sounds like a wind-up music box.

The song goes on for 20, long painful seconds.

I still can't move, as I hear laughing, and footsteps. Ones that are getting progressively louder.

Then, the bear, the one that hasn't moved at all during this crucible, steps into my vision.

It stares at me… before jumping at me while screaming a distorted roar.

I feel no more.

Alex

Go fuck yourself, you Kevin Durant wannabe.

Alright, time to freak out the PRT over power-testing!

Author's Note: Did I just spend an entire chapter shitting on Coil? Yes. Don't tell me y'all wouldn't do the same thing if you were actually in Earth-Bet, and had the means to do so.

Sorry for the somewhat dull start; there will be more action… idk lol.