I do not own Gold Digger and its associated characters. They belong to that marvelous fellow Fred Perry. I do not own Ranma and its associated characters. They belong to the wonderful lady Rumiko Takahashi. This production is strictly for entertainment, and I am not making any money off of the writings. I am just a poor student, so please Don't sue me Please?
Broken Hearts Combined Chapter 3: Mall Wererats
Britanny stretches as she wakes up. Yesterday was incredible. She got to meet a friend she hasn't seen in a decade, basically help him 'live', (bleeding to death would not have been a good thing for him) and She herself feels a bit more at peace with her friend Ranma around. Sure, it still hurts her when she remembers Stripe, but Ranma is a good friend, and is there for her.
A smile then crosses Britanny's face. She remembers what she planned to do with Ranma if he was feeling better
Britanny: Clothes shopping
Britanny then gets out of her nightgown and changes into a new pair of bra and panties, loose fitting jeans, white t-shirt, and black boots. It may be a bit 'tomboy' how she's dressing, but she's always liked dressing like this when she's not done up all fancy She then gets out of the bedroom and heads to the living room. She smiles when she sees Ranma sleeping on the sofa bed. He's out like a light. Britanny then moves up to Ranma and decides to wake him up.
Britanny: Good morning Ranma. Rise and shine.
Ranma doesn't stir
Ranma: SNOOOOOOOOOOOOORE
Britanny: Hmm I wonder if he's okay (Eyes widen). Ah! I know what to do!
Britanny then heads over to the curtains and draws them back, allowing the sunlight to shine through the window-doors that lead to the balcony. The light shines on Ranma, waking him up with a start.
Ranma: GAH! (Looks around): WHO, WHAT, WHERE!? Oh Hi Britchan Yaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwnn (Stretches). Is it time for breakfast?
Britanny can't help but laugh. He's so innocent like that.
Britanny (Nods her head): Yep. But I want to check your bandages. I want to make sure you're all right.
Ranma: Oh, I should be fine about now.
Britanny (Eyes Ranma): What do you mean "about now"?
Ranma takes off the bandages that Britanny put around his chest and back. They are indeed grimy looking, and caked in dried blood But Ranma's body doesn't have a mark on it Britanny's eyes widen in wonder.
Britanny: WOW! That's incredible (Thinks: And I thought I was a fast healer ) How'd you do it?
Ranma (Shrugs his shoulders): Comes from training on the road most of your life I guess I've been beaten up so brutally from time-to-time that I guess my body just got used to it
Britanny: I guess so
Ranma: Hey Britchan?
Britanny: Yes Ranchan?
Ranma: What're we doing for breakfast?
Britanny (Sweat-drops, smiles): Well, we'll get something from room service. Then, we're going out.
Ranma: Oh? Where to?
Britanny: It's a surprise. (Winks).
Ranma: I hope it's one I won't regret
Britanny: You won't, believe me.
Britanny then moves over to the phone, and dials up concierge. She then looks at Ranma.
Britanny: So Ranchan? What you want for breakfast?
Ranma smiles with that.
Meanwhile, in the alleyway between the Emporia Hotel and an office building next to it, three rats are sleeping on top of one of the garbage cans. Well, two are sleeping, the other one actually seems to have used some extra wiring, head-phones, and has tapped into the phone service of the Emporia hotel
Yes, these are no ordinary rats These are WERERATS! Specifically, The brownish-
blonde furred one is Lydia McKraken, the violet-furred on is Moisha Rich, and the blue furred one is Romeo Ellis Lydia cackles to herself.
Lydia: That's it werecheetah Just make yourself slow and fat with all the food you eat Then when we strike, WE WILL DEFEAT YOU!
Moisha: Geez Lydia, can you, like, keep it down or something. Normal rats aren't, like, supposed to talk.
Romeo (Mutters): And especially not like valley-girls
Moisha: You, like, say something Romes?
Romeo (Waves his paws): Nothing!
Lydia: SHH! Will you two f*cking pipe-down!? I'm trying to listen to what the werecheetah is saying!
Romeo: And what is she saying?
Lydia: Something about three dozen scrambled eggs Ten pieces of sliced toast six servings of bacon, sausage, and ham a toasted English muffin Twelve pancakes A bottle of syrup Four pieces of French toast Two bowls of miso soup a dish of rice And one big super tuna melt
Romeo: Ah So they're doing what we should be doing
Lydia: And what's that?
Romeo: Getting breakfast.
Moisha: Yeah! I'm, like, starving! And it's, like, my turn to pick up breakfast!
Lydia (Mutters): Great Just what I f*cking wanted More McDonalds
Moisha: Hey! I was, u' know, going to get Burger King They have those yummy breakfast cinnamon rolls!
Romeo: Yeah! I like those!
Lydia sighs and starts pounding her head onto the garbage can lid.
Moisha: I'll be, like, right back
Moisha jumps off the garbage can she was sitting on, and takes her human form Which is a very busty lady with purple hair Like all wererats, when in human form she has slight buckteeth.
Moisha (Waves): Bye! See you guys later!
Romeo: And don't forget the cinnamon rolls!
Moisha walks down the street.
Passerby: Was that lady talking to rats?
Ranma and Britanny finish up breakfast In a whopping 5 minutes. (Those two can sure pack away food). After breakfast, Britanny what her plans for the day are
Britanny: Hey Ranma Guess what we're going to do today.
Ranma (Thinks for a moment): Um Spar?
Britanny (Smiles): Nope
Ranma: Hmm What else is there that's fun to do besides sparring and training?
Britanny (Eyes shimmer): SHOPPING!
Ranma (Confused): Huh?
Britanny: Trust me on this Ranchan. I plan to pay you back! You've been so nice by agreeing to stay with me while I'm here, and that deserves a reward!
Ranma: But Britchan, you don't have to take me shopping, really you don't! I could just stay up here and just do some katas and such, and we could talk more.
Britanny: Sigh Look Ranchan When I was putting your stuff away last night, I saw you only had three pairs of pants and eight shirts.
Ranma: Yeah Is something wrong with that?
Britanny (Shakes her head): No. There isn't Ranchan. Look, I can tell by your actions that you're the type of person that lives off the bare necessities, but I feel you at least needs a bit of variety to your clothes. I mean all of your clothing is Chinese kung fu styled. And as I said before, I want to pay you back for giving me company while I'm staying here, and I plan to do it!
Ranma tries to voice an argument, but it seems Britanny isn't going to let him. Ranma just resigns himself to defeat, and lets Britanny drag him to the elevator.
Ranma: You know, I never did like shopping much
Britanny: Oh, come on Ranchan, it'll be fun! I have my Uranium 238 Charge Card! (Mutters). Among other cards (Out loud). So we'll be able to buy lots and lots of stuff! Won't that be fun?
Ranma (Tries to sound enthusiastic): Uh Yeah Sure I just hope this goes better than all the other times I was taken out to shop
And the elevator finally reaches the top. Britanny and Ranma get into it, and prepare to ride down to the lobby, so they can begin their day.
Lydia, Romeo, and Moisha are now all in their human forms. Lydia has somewhat tanned skin with brownish-blonde short hair and eyes, Moisha is fair-skinned with violet long hair and eyes, and Romeo is dark skinned with blue short hair and eyes.
Currently, Lydia is keeping a lookout for the werecheetah from the alleyway through a pair of binoculars, while Moisha and Romeo are doing a very 'important' strategic task
Romeo: C-15!
Moisha: ACK! YOU, LIKE, SUNK MY BATTLE SHIP!
Romeo takes another of the cinnamon rolls and chews on it victoriously. Moisha just whimpers at losing another round of Battle Ship to Romeo.
Lydia (Turns around): Will you two get serious!? The werecheetah could walk out at any moment! We have to be ready! Our mission is to either collar her or KILL HER! DO I F*CKING MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?
People on the streets start staring at Lydia.
Lydia: WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU ALL STARING AT!? TAKE A PICTURE! IT'LL LAST LONGER!
Most people the walk away, appalled by Lydia's rude behavior.
Soon, Britanny and Ranma step out of the building, and start walking.
Ranma: But Britchan, I don't want to have to try on clothes.
Britanny: Ranchan, you're going to try them on, and you're going to like it!
Ranma: Sigh Fine, fine
Lydia, Moisha, and Romeo watch Britanny and Ranma
Lydia: THAT'S HER! That's the werecheetah!
Moisha: She's, u' know, not so scary looking
Romeo: Probably because she's in her human form
Lydia: Anyway AFTER HER! THE SOONER WE DO THIS, THE SOONER WE CAN GO HOME!
Moisha Romeo: YAY!
Soon, bystanders are staring at them again.
Lydia: GO AWAY YOU F*CKING PEONS!
The people scatter again
Moisha: Well, can't forget the cinnamon rolls
And so the three wererats are off, and after the last werecheetah
With their cinnamon rolls of course
And so, after an hour of walking through Tokyo, Britanny and Ranma have made it to Britanny's favorite areas of hunt THE MALL
Britanny (Eyes sparkle): It's gorgeous
Ranma: Uh Britchan Are you okay?
Britanny (Nods her head enthusiastically): I'm fine! Tee hee! I LOVE SHOPPING!
Britanny then grabs Ranma by his wrist and runs into the mall, dragging Ranma behind her She knows what she wants to do. She wants to get Ranma a new wardrobe She looks towards one of the maps in the mall and looks it over, seeing what clothing would be good for him
Britanny: Hmm Let's see What's good, what's good? AHA!
Ranma: What's wrong Britchan?
Britanny (Smiles): I know the perfect place to get you something!
Ranma: Where's that?
Britanny (Smiles): The "Guess What's Now" clothing outlet!
Ranma: Huh? I have to guess? Britanny (Shakes her head, smiles): Nope. "Guess What's Now" is the name of the store. It deals with all the latest fashions! We'll definitely be able to find you something in there Ranchan.
Ranma: Do I have to Britchan?
Britanny: Yes Ranchan.
And so, Britanny drags Ranma to the store. Ranma has resigned himself to his fate, like a prisoner on death row. The wererats, upon hearing where Britanny is going, decide to hurry, so they can beat her to the place. There they will spring their trap
Britanny makes it into the store Oddly, there are no other shoppers there Or any clerks
Britanny: Hello? Anyone here?
Ranma: Oh? Too bad! Looks like we'll have to leave!
Suddenly, Lydia comes out from a door behind the front desk. She is dressed in a blue dress, and red vest, with a nametag that says "Sakura". She smiles oh so insincerely at Ranma and Britanny.
Lydia: Hi! Welcome to "Guess What's Now" clothing! I am (Looks at her nametag). Sakura! Pleased to meet you, and how may I help you?
Britanny: Well, Hi! I'm looking to get some new clothes for my friend Ranchan. And I need to think of what would look good on him.
Lydia: Well, I'll see what I can do ROMEO! MOISHA! Help our customers!
Moisha and Romeo then step out from behind the same door that Lydia did. Ranma then notices something odd.
Ranma: Excuse me Your names are "Moisha" and "Romeo", correct?
Moisha Romeo: Yes.
Ranma: Then why do your nametags say "Yoko" and "Daisuke"?
Moisha Romeo: Uh First day in the job?
Ranma: Oh. Okay
Moisha and Romeo let out an inward sigh He actually bought that.
Lydia: Well, what're you waiting for? GET HIM SOME CLOTHES!
Moisha Romeo: YES LYDIA!
Lydia: "Sakura"
Moisha Romeo: EEP! YES SAKURA!
And so Romeo and Lydia help Britanny pick out clothes and hand them to Ranma to try on Twenty minutes later, Ranma steps out of the dressing room Britanny's first outfit to Ranma is a white t-shirt with a Yin-yang on the front, dark blue denim jeans, black leather boots, and a black leather jacket. The wererats whistle as when they see Ranma
Britanny: Wow Ranchan You look gorgeous
Ranma (Blushes): Really?
Britanny: Yeah. Really, really.
Lydia: Well, we aim to please Now how about a little something for the lady?
Britanny: Oh? What do you have in mind? Lydia: Moisha!
Moisha then pulls out the 'collar' they are supposed to put on Britanny.
Britanny: What's that?
Romeo: It's a collAARRRRRRRRGH! MY FOOT! DAMN LYDIA! THAT HURTS!
Lydia (Removes her foot from atop Romeo's foot): Eh heh heh Whoops! Clumsy me. Anyway, this item is a choker!
Britanny: Why does it have a bell on it? It looks more like a collar.
Lydia: Er It's the latest fashion craze
Ranma (Looks it over): Hmm I may not be the most up-to-date on fashion, but that choker kind of looks stupid.
Lydia: Oh come on! It's free with your purchase of the outfit.
Britanny: Okay We'll take the choker
Lydia: GREAT!
And so the wererats ring-up the clothes Britanny bought for Ranma. Britanny and Ranma wave good-bye and walk out of the store. Ranma asks them one last question.
Ranma: Hey, you guys got the same dental plan?
Romeo: Why do you ask?
Ranma: Not that it's my business, but you all got some big buckteeth. You may want to get that checked.
Moisha and Romeo scratch the back of their necks and chuckle slightly. Lydia tries to contain her growing rage. Soon Ranma and Britanny are out of sight, and Lydia breaks out into evil laughter.
Lydia: AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! YES! IT WORKED! WE GOT HER TO TAKE THE COLLAR!
Moisha: But, she, u' know, didn't put it on
Lydia: So? She'll put it on later All we have to do is follow her
Romeo (With the tracking device): Hey They stopped moving
Lydia, Romeo, and Moisha step outside They see the collar hanging out on the side of a garbage bin.
Lydia: AW, #* *#$^!
Romeo (Wide-eyed): DAMN LYDIA! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Moisha (Voice is slightly tense): Uh, guys
Lydia: WHAT TH F*CK IS IT NOW MOISHA!?
Moisha: We're, like, in trouble
Lydia: Huh?
Lydia turns around, and sees the REAL cashiers of "Guess What's Now" clothing, standing there in their underwear, all the while looking pissed The big guy cracks his knuckles. Romeo faints
Lydia (Wide-eyed): F*ck
As they walk away, Ranma talks to Britanny about how he's grateful for the clothing, but Britanny waves it off, saying it's the least she could do. After some more shopping, Ranma and Britanny go back to the hotel, to eat, and rest up for tomorrow. (Ranma just hopes he can get some actual training done).
That is now the middle of the night. Britanny has a nightmare. All her times with Stripe seemed warped, as if she sees and hears what he was most likely thinking all that time while he was with her. The words she hears are harsh, and make her skin crawl. She wakes up screaming.
Britanny (Jolts up in bed): NO! (Starts breathing heavily). Oh God Oh God Oh God Why'd Stripe do such a thing?
Britanny's tail swishes back and forth nervously. Britanny had transformed to her hybrid form during her sleep and never realized it
Ranma comes running into the dark room to check on Britanny. He finds her shaking in her bed, crying to herself. Ranma goes over to Britanny to ask what's wrong.
Ranma (Grabs Britanny by her shoulder): Britchan! Are you okay? What's wrong?
Britanny can't seem to find her voice at the moment. All she can do is break into loud sobbing, and hugs onto Ranma for dear life (Of course, her werecheetah strength kind of puts Ranma in a bind as he feels his rib-cage begin to crack under Britanny's strength).
Ranma (Thinks): Ow I'm gonna feel THAT tomorrow
Britanny: SNIFF! WHY WOULD HE LEAVE ME! WHY WOULD STRIPE DO SUCH A HORRIBLE THING!?
Ranma: "Stripe"? Who's that?
Britanny calms down slightly. When she gets calm enough, she goes into her tale about how she, like Ranma, was almost married as well, and how it turns out her fianc e never did love her, and how the wedding was totally ruined by what had happened with him. Ranma just tries to comfort the sobbing Britanny, by hugging her closely, and making soothing sounds. (He notices that Britanny seem to have a much larger frame now In fact he feels her chest against his, and it feels a lot larger than he thought it was). Ranma just stays in Britanny's room with her for the rest of the night, comforting her, and falling asleep with her in his arms.
Meanwhile, on top a roof of a building, across from Britanny's hotel room. They are all, bruised and in bandages.
Lydia (Swollen lip, bandage across forehead, left arm in cast): Curse you werecheetah! We'll get that collar on you yet!
Moisha (Black eye, bandage over other eyes): I guess Can we go home now? I hurt all over
Romeo (In full body-cast and wheel chair): Thuph, thups (Translation: This sucks )
End Chapter 3
Next Time: Ranma gets to see Britanny other form And Ranma gets to meet some of Britanny's 'friends' from back home
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