April 20th

Dear Alex,

I'd tell you not to push yourself too hard, but you never really listen to me, now do you? Kidding, kidding. You can stop scowling at me as you read this. I've been looking after Amira, for you and for myself. She's a sweet girl. I've told her about you. Not everything, just – what I love about you and your little quirks and habits and all that. I can never tell the other guys about you, at least not the single ones. They don't understand. But the married ones – they get it. They get me missing you, dreaming about you, thinking of how soon I can see you.

As for when I can go on shore leave, I'm not sure. I've only been here close to three months. After six months I'm sure I can get leave to come visit you. If you're worrying, don't. Time will go by fast. Just -… busy yourself like you usually do. I'll try calling you this weekend. One of the guys here has a webcam, I'm sure Nerd over there can manage to hack it and give us some face time.

You should've kept the dog! It's been a long, long time since I've had a dog. Last time was when I was a little kid. I got so attached to Bear that, when we had to put her down, I just – I couldn't get another one. Well, we couldn't because we'd all gotten attached to her. It's so easy to fall in love with animals. They're never just pets. They become family. Maybe when I come back we can get a dog. I can see you as a dog lover. You can have your own little baby. Mommy's girl. I don't know if I'll be willing to compete for attention, though, heh.

Also, there's something I need to forewarn you about. In a couple weeks – well, I can't really go into details, but in a couple weeks and for an indeterminate amount of time I might not be able to reply to your letters. It's nothing to worry about. Just a job. I'll be careful, though, don't worry. I can hear your voice in my head, reproaching me and warning me to be careful. I always am. I want to return to you, see you. Every choice I make is because of you.

I'll talk to you soon.

Love,

Sean

April 25th

Dear Sean,

I'd like to see Amira. See both of you. If you ever get the chance, have one of the other guys take a photo of you. Thank you for looking after her, though I'm sorry if it intervenes with your SEAL work. You're good at multi-tasking, though. It's funny that you confide to Amira about me since I confide to Birkhoff about you. He's not always thrilled to talk about such girly stuff, but I think he senses how much I miss you, so he puts up with me. I'd talk to Nikita, but… well, I don't want to burden you with our problems.

I'm sorry to hear about your dog, but getting one of our own – it sounds pretty nice. I would get a dog if it weren't for Division. Having a canine companion would be nice. And you'd never have to compete for attention between a dog, I promise (winking at you). I'm surprised you guys haven't adopted a dog over there yet. I've read a lot of stories about soldiers who find dogs and adopt them, make them part of the team.

I was really hoping you could come back soon, but I should've known better. If I, we, can survive these three months apart, then we can make it through another three. By the way, if you tell me NOT to worry, I'm going to worry. Try reverse psychology, love. However long it takes… I'll wait. I'll always wait for you. I just might try talking Birkhoff into doing that. He and his magic fingers can do anything if given an incentive. Food is usually his incentive. Or new hardware.

As for this mission of yours… I know it's a stupid thing to say considering your profession – and mine, actually - and you've already told me not to say it, but be careful. We both risk our lives every day. I know you sometimes think I don't care about my life; that I'm asking for death sometimes. Maybe I am. I don't really know anymore. Anger and hatred drove me for a long time and then I met you. In my own twisted way, it's love that drives me, but it's also fear that drives me. I can't really explain it. My thoughts are too jumbled. I don't mean to push, risk my life. But I'd risk my life for you like I know you'd risk your life for me.

I'll write. I'll wait. I'll be here.

Love,

Alex