A/N: I want to tell everyone some things that I think need to be said.

One, this story isn't meant to be taken too seriously. There are serious moments in the story, but the things that are irrelevant are meant for a laugh, or just to make you understand that this came from an anime/manga. The main reason I add humor to this story, is because I've read really great stories, but they're a bit too serious to say that they're just stories. We, as people, no matter when and where, have always had our moments of daily hilarity; both inside and outside the heat of battle. I, for one, will never give that up, so no matter how battle hardened I become, I'll always be a lazy, sarcastic, lewd master of the art of comedy.

Two, the Omake are meant as a joke, but some of them are what have actually happened in the story. They were just moments that I didn't feel like putting in. Some of them will be more serious than others, but all of them will involve comedy.

Three, Not all characters are as black and white as you want them to be. Some are just nice on screen, while plotting off it. Like Tobi… wait no, he's a good boy. I meant to say Madara. Yeah, he's an evil bastard! He wants to control people with the moon! That's so evil, especially since I love Tsuki-hime! I look at her each night and tell her I love her, and now he wants to turn her against me! T_T Not cool, man! Not cool!

Four, I've said it before, but I'll say it again. This story is basically on a track all its own. Naruto became Hokage before the Tsunade Arc, so I'm sure many of you can understand how much just that one little fact can change a world. Do you people see it now?

Five, I want to thank everyone who just rolls with the punches and goes with the flow. I don't mean these rants of sort to be about those who don't question things until they're revealed, but I must say to those who do that you are very much appreciated. If it weren't for those who ask me things, then I probably wouldn't update as quick as I do.

Six, well… it was supposed to still be five, but yeah… I had gotten sidetracked. Anyways, thanks to all those that have been with me, and stayed with me since Chapter One. I know I don't update as much as I could, but I'm working on other stories, challenges, and even a few song-fics. I'll be posting challenges for Naruto fan-fics, so be on the look-out.

Seven, OVER 700 REVIEWS! YES! I'M ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING RIGHT IF I HAVE THAT MANY AND NONE OF THEM HAVE BEEN FLAMES OR JUST HURTFUL COMMENTS! I'm actually proud to say that all of them have been positive and constructive. I think I'm gonna go do the celebratory booty-dance now…

Eight, I'm a little dishearten to continue this story. I mean, I get that it's apparently good due to the people who say so, but if it's only this story that receives this much attention while my other stories are left to nothing it makes me thing that I'm not as god as some of you claim. I get that my other stories don't strike the interest of you guys like this one does, but it makes me think that they should all just be taken down. I know most of you who read this aren't interested in some of them since they're mostly Boondocks and South Park, but I would have thought that at least three or four of the one thousand people who read this story (I counted the people who favorite this story) would have been interested in reading a Boondocks crossover! It's a bit discouraging because I came across a forum on the internet with people who said that they would love to see a story with Boondocks and Bleach mixed.

*Sigh* oh well… on with the show…

Chapter 14: Reaction Attraction, the Big Finale!

Jiraiya walked through the halls of the hospital looking for one person. His intend on finding her was about as strong as she was. The reason he wanted to see her is because of the hospital policy, which he wanted to talk about. He was intent on finding Tsunade Senju, the Head Medic Ninja and Chief of Medicine and Surgery.

Normally he'd wait a few days more to see her about this kind of thing, but this time it was of the upmost importance to him. She was now a part of the medical staff, and not just any part, but the head of it. Naruto had commissioned her just the other day during that meeting where the civilian council had finally said why they were always so pissy.

Now that he thought about it they did have a bit of a point, but he had to side with the ninja view of things on this. He was bias and he didn't care. If there weren't any ninja then no training, protecting, or spying could be done, which meant that this village wouldn't be around anymore. And while on that fact, if it weren't for two ninja clans coming together, then the village wouldn't even exist. So there!

Jiraiya sighed as he walked further into the hospital. He hate always had these things. They were like just saying, "Don't worry, you're just in a giant place where people are slowly dying around you, so get comfortable, because your ass is gonna be here awhile", and if that wasn't bad enough, these places had… the n-words. No not that, you racist bastards! We love people from Kumo! He was talking about n-n-needles… Those disgusting things with their impaling and penetrating; he'd be sure to make a lewd comment about that later, but right now he was needle-hating.

"So Tsunade-sama, what is your diagnosis?" a voice was heard behind the door Jiraiya had just walked by. Did it say Tsunade?

"I've never seen a case like that kid's before. There's just so much emo in him that's it's ridiculous. He doesn't show any emotions except for anger and contempt. I'd smack him if I thought it'd help." He heard Tsunade's voice. He turned around and looked at the door. On it was a plague that read, "Tsunade Senju, Head of Staff, and Chief Medic Ninja". He smacked himself for not having noticed that at all.

"Tsunade-sama, what's with that smile? Why are you so happy?" Jiraiya raised a brow to that. Was that Shizune's voice and Tonton's oink of agreement?

"I don't know… I just feel like some idiot I know has finally had a realization about just how stupid they are." Tsunade's voice drifted out as Jiraiya grew an annoyed look, but then remembered why he was there. He pressed his ear to the door.

"So what about this boy, Tsunade-sama?' Shizune asked as Tsunade hmm-ed it over, meaning she was in thought.

"I'll name it, and from there we'll have to find a cure." Tsunade said as Jiraiya shook his head. The poor sap was being made a test monkey for Tsunade.

"What will we call it?"

"…hmm… I got it! Little Fag Bitch Pansy Ass Sissy Syndrome!" Tsunade said as Jiraiya had to use a silencing seal on himself just to laugh. The two others who were in the room with Tsunade laughed loud and long just as Jiraiya did, but then their laughs died down in a sort of awkward silence.

"… you're not… You're not serious are you, Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked as Jiraiya could just imagine the look Tsunade was giving her.

"Yup, I sure am" Tsunade said in her mock southern Fire country drawl.

"Umm… okay… Sasuke Uchiha is now diagnosed with Little Fag… Bitch… Pansy Ass… Sissy Syndrome. Oh, god why are you doing this, Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked after she had tortured herself through the name. Jiraiya could tell Shizune's face was red and that Tsunade was probably smirking up a storm.

"Two reasons. One, cause it'll probably get the kid to be a damn kid instead of an emo avenger. In fact I'll diagnose the Hyuga and the Aburame with it next to get them to stop being some strict and creepy."

"The other reason?"

"Cause I'm the top cock around here finally! Finally, I get to rub it in the faces of those old fossils! Finally, my plans to have a team of medic ninja and one medic ninja on every team will be in effect! I'm head bitch now! Mwhahahahaha!" Tsunade said as Jiraiya backed away from the door, hearing thunder and lightning as she laughed manically.

"um… Tsunade-sama, you still have to have it approved by Naruto-sama first. Plus, if he shoots it down-"

"Don't rain on my parade, Shizune. I'm having a good day, and I don't need your cynicism. Besides, he can be… persuaded by the right forces." Tsunade said as Jiraiya pressed his ear closer to the door, whipping out his notepad and pen and writing feverishly. This would make the perfect scene he had been having trouble writing; two medic ninjas seducing their younger superior to win his favor… and his children. Hehe, hehe… Perfect!

Suddenly he was on the floor due to the door not being his support any longer. He looked up and was greeted with a sight that he loved to see; the panties of a pure and innocent nurse. Oh yeah, that one scene was going in the book. Kakashi was gonna bow down and pray to him for this one.

"Pervert!" The nurse cried out as she stomped his kunai and smoke bombs… though those weren't really the… items she had stomped, she still crushed them as well. Oh well, it was worth it.

"I thought I smelt a toad nearby." Tsunade said as she moved to look at Jiraiya. He was up in a flash as he stared at her. The very skimpy nurse outfit and lab coat making her look far more sexy than annoyed.

"Thank the heavens for this sight!" Jiraiya screamed as he bowed down and started chanting that he wasn't worthy of what was before him. Tsunade gave him a look as she looked over to the mirror in her office. She struck a pose as she thought about just how sexy she looked, but then started glaring at Jiraiya.

"You can look all you want, but don't touch, you perverted old tadpole." Tsunade said as she walked back around to her desk and sat behind it, "I must admit though, at first I was against this thing when Naruto told me it was hospital policy and I was to follow, but now I think that I've become the wet dream of every male, and even some females, in this place when I walk around." Tsunade said with a smirk as Jiraiya thought to treat Naruto to as much ramen as the boy could eat for this one heavenly act.

Though he was elated on the outfit, it wasn't the only part of the hospital's policy he had come to see her for. Sighing and putting away his notes he gave Tsunade a serious look. Tsunade, seeing the serious face motioned Shizune to shut the door as Jiraiya sat in the chair in front her desk.

"What is it Jiraiya? Normally if you see me like this you're a perv for a bit longer. Something the matter?" Tsunade asked as Jiraiya nodded.

"You sensed it too, didn't you? That strange chakra that entered the village an hour ago. It feel like Old Man Onoki's doesn't it?" Jiraiya said, his serious tone making Shizune uneasy as she stood by the door, Tonton clutched in her arms while Tsunade nodded.

"Yeah, it does, but you don't think the old fart is hopping around do you? From my sensory abilities it felt like it's in the air. Plus, last I heard the old man was still Tsuchikage." Tsunade said as she produced some sake from behind her desk.

"I know, my spies just sent me a message and fast too. The old man is planning something big from the looks of it. It involves a bunch of Genin from his village. And really, Tsunade? Having and drinking sake while in a hospital? Naruto will surely chew your ear off for that." Jiraiya said with a small smirk as Tsunade narrowed her eyes, but then sat back sipping her sake with a smirk of her own.

"If you don't rat me out, then I'll share with you, especially when you're stuck in here yourself." Tsunade offered as she gave him a saucer and poured some into it.

"Then my lips are sealed. Ha!" Jiraiya said at his unintended joke. Him a sealing master…

"Me, a sealing master… I bet the Sarutobi-sensei still didn't see that one coming." Jiraiya said as Tsunade nodded.

"Yeah, you were the deadlast in the Academy, but you had talent. Just not the type that blossomed in a classroom. So, what are we gonna do about this weird chakra?" Tsunade said as Jiraiya sighed.

"Not sure, but I know that Naruto will need to be made aware of it if he isn't already. I'll call for an Anbu team to come with me, but I have another question." Jiraiya said as Tsunade looked at him.

"Did you sense that other chakra as well? It wasn't as flashy as the one that's circling the village, but it's hidden itself other another chakra." Jiraiya said with narrowed eyes as Tsunade crossed her hands and nodded.

"Yeah, I know. It feels almost like that Old Bat from the Suna, Chiyo. It's not as powerful as hers, but still as deadly and well controlled. If I hadn't been seeking out chakras to find that Lee boy I wouldn't have noticed it or the one like the Old Fence-sitter. Though, this one is hidden within another body. It's almost like that abomination of a jutsu Orochimaru used to use back in our days as Jonin." Tsunade said as Jiraiya got up and walked toward the door.

"Can you fight?" Jiraiya asked, not bothering to turn to Tsunade as he rested his hand on the doorknob.

"Which will you take on if I can?" Tsunade asked, not looking up from her saucer as she toyed with it by making the contents swirl around.

"The puppet one. Naruto and the others can switch when we draw them close. Just like old times." Jiraiya said, and though he wasn't facing her their mirrored grin said everything.

"Just like old times. You engage first, and I knock 'em down. If only Orochimaru wasn't a pedophile and a demented asshole then he could knock 'em back up and we could start the process all over again." Tsunade said as Jiraiya let out a bark of laughter.

"Yeah, just like old times…" He said as he walked out of the office, deep in thought over what would come next.

With Naruto:

In his office the Jonin and high ranking ninja of the village lined the walls. All of them had come not three minutes after they were called, except for Kakashi who had arrived the very second they were called. Naruto had to snicker at that; fear got a lot of things done…

"So we're gathered here today to join this Nara and this Aburame in holy-" Naruto began, but was interrupted by Kurenai who had stepped forward to address him. Anko and the others were snickering, except Guy who was muttering about the powers of springtime youth.

"Hokage-sama, that's not why we're here…" Kurenai said with a sigh as Naruto looked at her.

"Then why are we here again?" Naruto said as Shino and Shikamaru stood in front of his desk.

"I don't know, Hokage-sama, but that's not the reason." Kurenai replied as she stepped back into line.

Naruto looked down at his desk and then he remembered why he had called both of them into his office after chatting with the mutt- he meant Kiba, not that loveable dog Akamaru.

"Oh, right! We're here today to honor one of the wishes of the Old Man- I mean the Third Hokage." Naruto said as he got serious. He sighed as he continued on, "Now to be quite honest with you guys; I don't know what to do. As you know with that Invasion, and the final exam being suspended it was the opinion of many that none of the students should past this time around; and that includes you two." Naruto said, his left elbow resting on the desk and his chin resting on the palm of his left hand. Shino and Shikamaru fidgeted slightly under the lazy yet steel gaze of the ruler they had grown up with.

"However, I know for a fact that the Third held both of you in high regard, and I hear that he had nothing but the highest praise for your match, Shikamaru." Naruto said as he grabbed the ink brush that was in the ink tray at the corner of his desk and began writing in a blank scroll, "He meant to recommend both of you for Chunin; mainly you, Shika."

"In fact all those that observed the fights and your proctors felt the same as the Old Man did. Both in and out of the exam, the two of you have done well, and so in this case my opinion of the two of you, being lazy and weird, doesn't really matter." Naruto said as he looked up at them, a small grin on his face as they looked annoyed, yet were grinning back at him.

"From this day forth, I hope that you will strive to achieve a level of excellence worth of those headbands. Congratulations, as of this moment the both of you stand Chunin." Naruto said as the room was filled with light applause.

"Now, I hereby award the both of you with an immensely practical and sexy jacket." Naruto said as Asuma and Kurenai had the two their Chunin vest. Anko snickered as the two bowed and walked out of the room. The other's stared in shook at what was written on the back of the two jackets as the boys walked out.

"Naruto-sama, you can't just do that." Kurenai said as Naruto gave her a look and snickered as he went back to looking at the words painted in bright neon pink on the back of the jackets.

"What does that say?" Genma asked Ado as they read the backs.

"The Nara's says, I'm a lazy ass, so wait until I'm asleep to rape me. And the Aburame's says, I have a bug fetish, want to see my earthworm? Damn I love our Hokage's work." Ado said as Genma nodded with a chuckle.

"Ahh, you can't beat the classics…" Naruto said as he wiped away a tear.

"Hokage-sama, that was highly inappropriate. You can't just do things like-" Kurenai began until Naruto gave her a look.

"Kurenai, would you like to spend a year with Anko and Ibiki as a guest in their lovely little department?" Naruto asked lazily as she looked at him fearfully.

"N-no, Naruto-sama, I wouldn't."

"Then don't ever tell me anything like that again, or else. Now all of you, get out. I have work to do, and just because all of you got a day off by accident doesn't mean you'll get another for a while." Naruto said as he waved his hand, dismissing all of them back to wherever. He then summoned three clones and had them deal with his tasks for the day while he ate ramen.

"It's good to be the Hokage…" Naruto said with a comfortable sigh as he suddenly cut his vision toward a corner, "Don't you agree, Pervy Sage?" Naruto asked as said man came from the shadows with a grin on his face.

"I was hoping you won't have noticed me. How did you?" Jiraiya asked as he came to sit in front of Naruto's desk. Naruto simply shrugged as he continued to eat his noodles.

"I've been around you for a few months, so I know your chakra, suppressed or not, like the back of my hand. I know Orochi-teme's because it's so dark and foul, it's like smoke in the clean air. I know Granny's due to the fact that it's so controlled and suppressed most of the time, it's the most controlled chakra I've ever felt." Naruto explained as Jiraiya nodded and reached into his shirt, tossing a yellow folder onto Naruto desk. Naruto sighed as he sat aside his ramen and opened the folder.

"What is this?" Naruto asked as he pulled out documents, and files.

"It's basically what my spies have collected over the week. If I'm not here then the ANBU will come to you with this stuff, so I want you to be familiar with it." Jiraiya said as Naruto scanned the papers with critical eyes, looking over every word with extreme care.

"Is this true? It can't be right?" Naruto asked, not looking up from the papers as he handed one back to Jiraiya.

"Yup, Iwa is planning some form of attack in the next two months. I'll be small-scaled compared to most of the things they've tried in the past. They won't try anything large due to the agreement Minato and Old Man Onoki had back in the Third War." Jiraiya said as Naruto sighed and leaned back into his chair.

"So what'll they do? What's this agreement? And who's Old Man Onoki?" Naruto asked as he rubbed his temples. Why were everyone and their Aunt Susan attacking his village?

"Well Old Man Onoki is the Third Tsuchikage and one heck of a powerhouse. He maybe a stubborn old midget, but he's got the power to back up his flappin' gums. He's the legendary Fence-Sitter or Onoki of Both Scales, and holder of the legendary Dust-release Bloodline."

"As for the agreement, it was when your dad was destroying Rock-ninja left and right with that jutsu of his. The Old Man had to call off the war on Konoha, but Minato didn't want just that. No, Minato went all the way to Iwagakure and stuck his seals all over the village. He then got in front of Old Man Onoki and told him point blank that if he ever attacked Konoha again that he'd slaughter the old man's entire village; save the civilians. That's basically the real reason that Iwa hates Konoha so much. They despise the fact that some of Minato's seals may still be there, and that we'll train another ninja to use that jutsu." Jiraiya said as he leaned back. Naruto raised a brow, which Jiraiya knew to be a basic sign of the kid gaping like a fish.

"Would my dad have really done something so… barbaric?" Naruto asked as Jiraiya shrugged.

"Times were much different 20 years ago. Now-a-days you kids can go around with honor, dignity, and fight in the middle of daylight, but back when I and your dad were your age or older we had to take every advantage there was. Those were the days that we were true ninja instead of day brawling fighters." Jiraiya said as Naruto stifled a chuckle.

"So, what are they gonna do to my village?" Naruto asked as he summoned an ANBU. Tora bowed as he waited for his orders.

"Don't worry about that now, there are more immediate threats." Jiraiya said, his face growing serious as Naruto nodded solemnly.

"So you sensed it too, aye, Sensei." Naruto asked as he leaned forward while Jiraiya nodded.

"Not just me, but Tsunade as well. I'm not sure how many others have sensed it as well, but it's safe to say that only a handful of us can take on these opponents." Jiraiya said with a serious look on his face while Naruto nodded.

"I sensed two chakras that were far stronger than any in this village, aside from ours." Naruto stated as Jiraiya and he looked toward Tora.

"Ahh, it's good to see ya, Tenzo. How you been holding up?" Jiraiya asked as the Tora-masked Anbu scratched the back of his head nervously.

"I've been fine, Jiraiya-sama." Tenzo said as Naruto raised a brow.

"You two know each other? And your name is Tenzo? You look more like a Yamato." Naruto said as he gazed back and forth between the two.

"Yeah, we know each other. He was one of the kids that Orochimaru experimented on when he found that criminals and prisoners were… unvarying." Jiraiya said, showing only the slightest bit of sadness in his voice.

"As for the Tenzo part, that's his codename. You didn't know? What kind of Hokage are you, brat?" Jiraiya said only to receive a paper-weight to the face.

"I'm new at this, you shameless perv! Excuse me for not knowing every single thing right now while I've been trying to deal with all these happenings in my village!" Naruto said as Jiraiya clutched at his nose.

"Anyways, these two chakra signatures in the village… I'm sure their Akatsuki." Jiraiya said suddenly as Tenzo's head shot up and Naruto remained calm.

"I figured as much, but what bothers me is that they showed up as if they knew I was Hokage or something." Naruto said calmly as Jiraiya nodded.

"We can only assume that they do. We can also assume that the other Great Ninja Villages do as well. It would stand to reason with Iwa's sudden want to attack and why the Sand is moving so quickly to meet with you."

"Really now?" Naruto asked with a raised brow as Jiraiya nodded.

"Yeah, they plan to setup another alliance between our two villages. They'll be here by the end of the month."

"Okay, so about this Akatsuki threat that invaded my village."

"Actually I'm a bit surprised that they made it past the Konoha Sensory Barrier. They couldn't have known how to move past it like Itachi did, because only elite Anbu for our village know how to do that." Jiraiya said in thought as Naruto's left eye twitched.

"Konoha… Barrier…?" Naruto asked as Jiraiya blinked at him.

"Yeah… you know the barrier sphere that covers the entire village, above and below the ground in a complete barrier. It's really difficult to get past, because the thing senses anything and everything that moves past it that has chakra in any form. Itachi got past it by using information on it; which was the fact that the barrier stops to which out at high noon. These two Akatsuki however couldn't have possible known that, especially since Itachi attacked they start switching out at midnight instead." Jiraiya said as a vein in the high right corner of Naruto's forehead began to pulse and throb intensely.

"They are so fired… literally…" Naruto muttered as he stood up.

"I'm sure you and Granny have some form of plan to deal with them, so just tell me." Naruto said as he placed his Kage hat on the desk.

"Yeah, we do. Listen, me and Tsunade can't fight the one above the village, but you might be able to with your dad's jutsu and the others you learned while we were tracking Tsunade. Do you think you can?" Jiraiya said as Naruto nodded.

"Yeah, but they don't seem to be moving in just yet. They'll probably wait until nightfall. I'll take Tenzo with me, while you and Granny handle the one that's on the North Wall." Naruto said as Jiraiya nodded and disappeared in a plume of smoke. Naruto turned to Tenzo with a thoughtful look on his face as the Anbu fidgeted a bit.

"Tenzo's a codename, right?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama"

"And I, as Hokage, can change it anytime I want, right?"

"Yes, Naruto-sama"

"Then from this moment on your name is Yamato." Naruto said as he pointed dramatically at the man, while the latter sweat-dropped at him.

"Y-yes, Hokage-sama…"

"Let's go, Yamato, and switch into a Jonin uniform. I need to go see Iruka-sensei." Naruto said, turning on heel and walking away as the ANBU that were still in the shadows snickered at Ten- Yamato.

"Better get going, Ya-ma-to." A female ANBU snickered out as Yamato glared directly at her position.

"Shut up…" he muttered as he hung his head and followed after his Hokage.

With Sasuke:

He sat at the table of his home in complete silence. He didn't really know what to do. What could he do? He could go to Orochimaru for the power that he was promised, but if he did that then he'd end up just like Naruto's vision. He could still remember Naruto doing his impression of Itachi.

"To unlock the Mangekyo Sharingan, you must experience major emotional trauma. Like killing the person who is most precious to you; your best friend or brother."

Naruto had explained that by him having killed Itachi he got the Mangekyo, but at what cost? His brother had been the "good guy" all along, and his clan was the "bad guys". To have revolted and planned against the village was something that would have caused so much trouble that no one would have survived. Was Itachi really the "good guy" instead of the evil asshole he had been made to believe? Of course he was, but should that stop him from killing Itachi; the only family he had left besides this Madara character?

Speaking of Madara, everything was this bastards fault apparently! This bastard had left the clan, only to come back and kill it. But, he didn't and helped train Itachi to do it for him. Then Itachi had to leave, with his only wish being that his little brother never being told the truth.

Well… that was stupid.

"I'm gonna murder Itachi…" Sasuke muttered to himself as he glared at the table, "I have a right to the truth. I should have been told from the beginning!"

"And if you had?" A voice said as Sasuke didn't even bother with it since he knew Naruto had ANBU watching him. Hell, if he were Naruto and Kami how bad did that sound, he'd have ANBU watching him too.

"Things could have been different from what Naruto said of the future." Sasuke said, still glaring at the table while the Boar-masked NBU dropped to his side and sat on his table.

"Why can't they be different now, Uchiha?"

"They will be, but I'm saying that the future that Naruto saw could have been different as well."

"So what are you gonna do? Kill your brother? Go to Orochimaru for power? Or are you gonna stay and make things right?"

"I don't know! I still hate Itachi for killing our clan, but I also hate our clan for wanting to revolt! Loyalty is key, yet loyalty was put over family life! Everything I knew to be true is falling around me as lies! I hate the Council for ordering my clans death, but they did it after the peaceful way was disbarred by my father! My own father wanted to revolt against the village, even after he would tell me to be loyal to it no matter what! What the hell is true anymore?" Sasuke screamed out as he clutched at his head and rived out on the floor, slowly going out of his mind as it shattered and rebuilt itself.

"Your friends for one, and don't give me that bullshit about how they aren't your friends because I know they are. Did you know that after your clan was eliminated I was assigned to watch over you daily alongside the previous Boar?" Boar said conversationally as Sasuke sat up.

"No, I didn't." Sasuke said, stating it as if he wanted her to get straight to the point.

"Well, it's just that while I watched over you I saw everything; even that which you didn't show others. I know more about you than most people. I know that you hate when women and girls either try to mother you or get you on a date. I know Naruto was your first ever true friend, because he didn't care that your clan was killed or that you were the last Uchiha, but still treated you like a real person and not some kind of fairytale. I know that you and him, as kids, used to play with the Nara boy and the Aburame boy. I know that as you grew older you thought more and more about the death of your family and how you came to hate Itachi." She said as she crossed her legs while Sasuke simply stared at her.

"I know that you secretly cried at night because you'd wake up from nightmares about Itachi coming back and killing Naruto. I know that you started to act cold and indifferent toward Naruto to drive him away so Itachi wouldn't come back and kill him. I know that you started do this to everyone to shut them out because of the same fear. I know that it didn't work on Naruto and you started thinking him an idiot for still being around you."

"I know that when the Academy started that you put every waking moment into training so that you could kill Itachi and one day have friends and family. I know that at the end your first year of the Academy you came home and wrote down your life plan. I know that it consisted of killing Itachi, adopting Naruto as your new "cooler" brother, having an average wife who wouldn't fawn over you, having two kids, and becoming an ANBU captain. I know that-"

"I get it! You know my entire public and private life story! Is there a point!" Sasuke shouted as Boar didn't even move at his shout.

"The point is that I know you, and the true Sasuke has already made-up his mind about what he's gone do. So what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know! And you don't know me!"

"Oh, but I do. I know that your very first crush was on Naruto, because you thought he was a tomboy the first few weeks you knew him, due to him having uncut hair and a thin figure." She stated cheekily as Sasuke glared at her, his cheeks slightly red.

"That will never leave this room." He growled out as she chuckled lightly.

"Sure thing, kid. Now again I ask what are you going to do?"

"… First, I'm gonna kick Itachi's ass, get this Curse Mark off of me, then I'm gonna make that family I always wanted, and get some goddam rice-balls with dried tuna and tomatoes!"

"Good, brat…" Boar said as she sweat-dropped and got off the table. She began walking toward the shadowed corner of the room, "And remember; if you ever need someone to talk to; I'm always here." She finished as she walked into the shadows, but right before she stepped into them he called out to her.

"Wait! What's your name?" Sasuke asked as she tapped the bottom of her mask as if it were her chin.

"Hmm… you can call me… Inoshi. See ya later, kid. And remember what I said…" She said, finally disappearing as if she were never there. She knew she'd have to answer to her Naruto about her actions, but maybe it was worth it…

"Yeah, I'll remember… stalker…" Sasuke said knowing now that he had an ear to always hear his cries…

She giggled to herself as she resumed her position of watching him. Should she have mentioned that she also knew that he still had the small crush on Naruto…? Naw, she could use that for blackmail material…

With the Anko, Kurenai, Asuma, and their Genin:

They had all gone to Yakiniku Q, the favorite Korean, Gyū-Kaku-style yakiniku restaurant of Team Asuma. The restaurant is large with wide windows, multiple green-seated booths, though some tables allow customers to sit down on the floor with green cushions as their seats, menus plastered on the walls, and due to their Gyū-Kaku-style, each table has a charcoal brazier built in the center and is equipped with tongs for cooking, since the Gyū-Kaku form of dining is when the customers cooked their own food after they ordered the food raw.

Anko, Ino, and Choji were laughing aloud. Kurenai, Asuma, and Hinata were chuckling as they sat back while Kiba crossed his arms and grumbled underneath his breath. Shikamaru was getting annoyed while Shino took it in strived as they both had finally got the pink messages off their backs.

"Dammit, don't laugh…" Shikamaru groaned out as he placed his head in his hand, refusing to meet the eyes of ours.

"What's wrong? Finding it too troublesome to be raped in your sleep?" Anko said a Kurenai smacked her arm playfully.

"Anko…" Kurenai admonished as Anko continued to snicker.

"I'm just glad it wasn't permanent. " Shino stated blankly with a slight blush as everyone laughed at the mere thought.

"I'm just glad those old ladies stopped hitting you two, and calling you perverts and freaks." Hinata said quietly, yet they heard her and laughed more as Kiba slammed his hand on the table in annoyance.

"Man, it's not fair! How come you two got promoted and not any of us?" Kiba shouted as Kurenai groaned.

"Kiba you lost to Hokage-sama, in the Preliminaries. Be glad to can say that a Kage beat you…" Kurenai said as Anko snickered at the dog boy.

"Yeah, besides; these two helped out in the Invasion and went beyond what they had. Shino defeated that puppet kid, and Shikamaru helped stall an entire squad of Sound ninja from killing Naruto-sama and his teammates." Anko said cheekily as Kiba banged his head on the table. Ino and the other Genin looked at Shikamaru and Shino in awe as the two looked away slightly. Ino broke out into giggles with Choji chuckling heartily.

"Dammit… don't laugh…" Shikamaru said half-heartedly under his breath.

"We can't help it! Now all of a sudden even you seem respectable, Shika." Ino said as Hinata blushed and hide her own giggles at Ino's statement.

"Alright, that's enough picking on them. Anyways, let's celebrate their promotions like we came here to do." Asuma said as he raised his glass. The others did the same… well except for Choji, Anko, and Kiba who took over half the meat from the grill.

"Choji, Kiba! Don't eat now, we're about to make a toast!" Ino scolded as the two had already stuffed their mouths while Hinata and Kurenai nodded to her words. Kurenai rounded on Anko, who was stuffing the last piece into hers.

"You as well, Anko. You should set a better example for these kids." Kurenai chastised as Anko swallowed her food and gave a grin.

"Why don't you do so by sticking your tongue down Asuma-kun's throat, Kurenai-chan? After all, these two are gonna need lessons to bag Hokage-sama." Anko said as she gestured to Ino and Hinata. Asuma, who was drinking anyway, spit it out all over Kurenai, who had been sitting across from him. Kurenai gave a deadpan look as she wiped the drink from herself while she, Hinata, and Ino were blushing.

"Umm… cheers…?" Asuma offered weakly as he held up his glass and everyone toasted.

"Cheers…" They all said just as weakly as they toasted glasses while Anko sat back and snickered.

Her work there had been done…

Later, With Iruka and Naruto:

"That seems like a lot of scrolls, Naruto. Are you sure you'll need them all now?" Iruka asked as Naruto's clones were walking out of the Konoha Ninja Archive with a scroll each. Naruto glanced at Iruka, who was beside him, as he nodded and continued to direct his clones.

"Yeah, Iruka-sensei. I've only got the bare basics down for my elemental charkas and just about everything else. The only things I have mastered are seals. I still need a lot of help with everything else. Jiraiya-sensei told me about a private training ground reserved for the Hokage only, so tomorrow I'll be there while a clone is helping you hand out missions." Naruto said as Iruka nodded in understanding.

"Right, and that reminds me; why weren't you at the Mission Hall today? I waited over an hour for you to show up and unlock it. Then an Anbu comes out of nowhere telling me you won't be showing up. What happened?"

"Oh, I was dealing with meetings all day today, but don't worry, things will calm down after today. At least, I hope…" Naruto said as the last of his clones left the building, him and Iruka right after them.

"Oh, what else is gonna happen today, Naruto?" Iruka asked as Naruto frowned in deep thought. Iruka was almost taken back by the sudden action. Naruto had very rarely frowned and when he did it so openly… All hell was gonna break loose!

"Iruka-sensei, I want you to tell the Head of the Academy to send all the students and staff home for early today. Understood?" Naruto said with a serious edge in his voice.

"Y-Yes, Hokage-sama." Iruka said as Naruto waved his hand, dismissing immediately. Iruka nodded quickly and disappeared to do the task. Whatever was about to happen was enough to worry Naruto, and that was more than enough to worry him.

"Genma, Ado!" Naruto shouted into the air as he walked down the street, the two named ninjas suddenly appearing at his sides.

"Send out the message to every ninja of every rank to get the civilians off the streets. I want all those who are not of ninja rank in their homes in less than twenty minutes."

"Yes, Hokage-sama!" The two said as they saluted and jumped off to do as they were told.

"Izumo, Kotetsu!"

"Hokage-sama!" The two said as they appeared before him.

"I want an alert to every Jonin and Anbu within the village. Tell them that they are to safe guard the villagers and take up defensive points to do so. I don't care how they get it done, but if I hear of even one civilian causality…" Naruto said, leaving the threat hanging. Kotetsu and Izumo nodded as they leapt off to spread the word.

They were getting tired of being errand boys…

"Yamato!" Naruto shouted as the aforementioned man leapt behind him.

"Hokage-sama?" Yamato asked, dressed in full Jonin garb aside from his Konoha headband that was more like a face guard.

"You're with me for this one. I had a clone in my office read your file. I'm impressed. If things get too out-of-hand then I'll need you." Naruto said as Yamato blushed from the praise and faith Naruto had in him.

"Yes, Hokage-sama. I await your orders."

"Let's get going, the night is already upon us." Naruto said as he walked toward the Hokage Mansion, Yamato trailing right behind him. Naruto glanced at the nighttime sky with narrowed eyes. He could already see an unusual bird in the sky, circling over the village.

With Sasori:

He slinked out of an alley with practiced stealth. Glancing around, he could see that no one was on the streets or in their businesses. It seemed as if everyone had curfew.

"Of course they would. They did just have an invasion a short time ago." Sasori said aloud to him from inside Hiruko. He continued to slink away toward Training Ground Seven, completely unaware of the two figures watching him.

"Now, or later?" Tsunade asked from atop the building Jiraiya was standing on the side of.

"Later, he's going to one of the Training Grounds, so we'll fight him there so we don't endanger anyone. You heard what Izumo said." Jiraiya replied with a slight grin.

"Yeah, that kid seems like he'll enjoy punishing people. It's like a big prank that he can get away with, without question." Tsunade said as she and Jiraiya jumped into the night sky and continued to trail Sasori.

Though all of them were unaware of the girl who had spotted all of them. Sakura watched as Tsunade and Jiraiya leapt after the hunched-over figure. Whatever was going on she was gonna find out.

With Deidara:

He had his bird high over the village as he used his scope to watch the Hokage in his office. It seemed as though the guy was pretty busy. He was stuck behind his desk doing paperwork like any other Kage would. Deidara almost felt sorry for the kid; being 13 years-old and having to deal with that kind of enemy was inhuman.

"Oh well, perhaps if Kakuzu wasn't going to kill you I could have brightened up your day by showing you some true art, yeah."

Deidara saw the boy yawn and leave his desk. He saw the lights of the office go off as the kid was obviously going to bed like the rest of his village. Apparently the village was on curfew…

"But, that's to be expected. Orochimaru did invade them just about two months ago. It looks like they've recovered well, but they probably still have a ways to go. Oh well…" Deidara said as he formed a hand sign.

"Take me down" he said as his bird followed his command. He jumped off and landed on the roof of the Hokage's Mansion, no one in sight. If he was gonna spy on the Kyuubi boy, then why not get some Konoha secrets in the meantime?

"Infiltration complete, and successful, yeah." Deidara said, but ten his eyes widen as he dropped to his knees, a heavy pressure in the air as if some kind of weight was in the air itself.

"I think not…" came a cold, yet firm voice. Deidara lifted his head, the voice sounding much younger than it should for someone with so much charka that they could affect the very air around them.

Deidara looked up and saw that it was a boy like the one in the office, yet this one was dressed like a noble-samurai. He even had a sword at his side! Right behind the boy was a Konoha Jonin that wore a face guard instead of a headband.

"I'm not getting out of here easy, am I?" Deidara asked with a grin working on his face. Perhaps he would get the chance to show this kid, and all of Konoha his art.

"You're not getting out of here alive." Naruto stated as he slowly began to draw his sword.

With Sasori:

He was faced with a problem, and not just any problem; two of the legendary Sannin. Now he may have killed a Kage, but these two would be…

"… Trouble… I don't suppose you'll let me go?" Sasori said. After all their job was spying not combat.

"Sorry, but you've crashed our party…" Jiraiya started as he gathered his charka.

"So we're gonna crash your face." Tsunade finished as she punched her open palm, charka already prepared.

Sasori gazed at the two of them from within Hiruko. He sighed, as he readied his puppet's weapons. If there was no way out of it…

"Then prepare to be added to my collection, Toad Sage, Slug Princess." Sasori said as he made Hiruko's tail come forth.

All opponents locked eyes and they began. The battles were on, but who would be the victors?

Omake:

Naruto, Behind the Scenes:

(Directly After the End of the Chapter)

"… and cut! Good job everybody, great work today!" Traban said as Naruto and the others dropped their stances and battle ready faces. Deidara rose to full height while rolling his shoulders.

"Man, oh man, this next episode is gonna be murder. Sasori, how are you holdin' up?" Deidara as Sasori fell out of the puppet gasping for air and sweating.

"I've been stuck inside a puppet that has no air-conditioning or ventilation. How do you think?" Sasori snapped back as Deidara back up a few steps.

Kakashi was with Naruto, Hinata, Sakura, and Sasuke as they sat on a couch.

"Wow, those last two chapters went off well don't you think?" Kakashi said as Naruto nodded.

"Yeah, people really like the scenes with Ino-chan, Tenten-chan and Hinata-chan." Naruto said as Hinata hid her blushing face behind her script.

"R-really?" Hinata asked as Sasuke smirked, coming up with an evil plan already.

"Yeah, Hinata, they did; especially when you yelled at Naruto. Isn't that right, Sakura? I mean you must have had plenty of time to observe, seeing as you only had three whole scenes in the last two." Sasuke said as Naruto turned to Sakura with a smile, but backed away as he saw the dark aura she was emitting.

"Um… S-Sakura-chan?" Naruto said hesitantly.

"I don't get it!" Sakura screamed as she threw her script to the floor, "I'm closer to Naruto's character than Ino and Tenten. Hinata I can understand because she's always had a crush on Naruto, but those two? Why the difference in treatment of heroines?"

"Because, your character is pretty much useless right now. You have to go train with Tsunade or something before you get any attention." Sasuke said bluntly as Sakura turned angry eyes on him.

"What's got you so high and mighty, Sasuke? Your character barely has any lines that aren't emo or angst in the last two." Sakura asked as Sasuke smirked.

"Because I'm probably gonna have a super battle with Itachi." Sasuke said with a shrug as Kakashi nodded.

"Yeah, you know how much the fans love to see two emo geniuses go at it, Sakura." Naruto said as he put an arm over Hinata's shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, but when do we get a chance to shine. I mean, I only appeared once in this one." Sakura complained as Orochimaru, Madara, Itachi, and Minato walked up and sat down.

"Well at least you appeared. I haven't since Episode 9. I know my character is in recover or something, but still." Orochimaru said as Madara nodded.

"Yes, I mean my only so far was five minutes of evil scheming. Can't I at least get in on the Omake?" Madara said as he crossed his arms childishly.

"Yeah, well at least your characters aren't dead. Kushina and me won't even get a part until Naruto deals with Kyuubi or until someone does a flashback about us. Do you have any clue how rare that is? We're practically letting Naruto pay the bills at home cuz he's the only one getting paid regularly." Minato said as Itachi patted his back.

"Don't worry, it's the same with me and Sasuke. He's the only one who gets regular pay right now, so he's had to pay a few bills; though I got a job on the side." Itachi said as Minato sighed.

"Kushina's working at that new ramen place, but we're actors not waiters. If it weren't for the fact that my name appeared in this episode I won't be getting paid today." Minato stated as Naruto and Hinata began to comfort him.

"… so, what's the next episode about?" Sasuke asked as all the other members of the cast joined around with their scripts.

".. um, okay… let's see here… Ah! It's mainly about battle between Jiraiya, Tsunade and Sasori. There'll be bits of Yamato battling Deidara with Naruto, and a little Sakura." Orochimaru said as Temari, Tenten and Ino joined Hinata around Naruto.

"So who's all gonna be in it?" Tenten asked as Sakura sat in Lee's lap.

"Oh, um… let's see… Tsunade, Jiraiya, Sasori, Sakura, Kakashi, Naruto, Deidara, Orochimaru, Kakuzu, Hidan, Sarutobi in a flashback, Minato in flashback, Shizune, and me." Kabuto said as Minato looked a bit happier.

"Okay let's practice a bit. Um.. how about the scene where Sakura runs onto the battlefield-" Naruto was saying until Traban skidded to a stop in front of everyone.

"Stop! We're still rolling! Damn guy kept going!" Traban shouted out as everyone looked shocked.

"What?" They all screamed as Traban pulled out a sign and stuck it to the screen, blocking your view of everyone.

"That's all for today folks, see you in a week or so with the next one! Bye-bye!" is what the sign read.