Animal I Have Become
As David set things up for the next song, Sherlock thought about the day he left.
It was not a day he liked to remember, but occasionally his mind wound wander. Maybe if he could just delete it.
He thought back to his parents faces when he was about to walk out the door. He was prepared to see regret, or a bit of sadness; he saw blank, carefully constructed faces. His father was smirking. Glad his disappointment of a son was finally leaving. Sherlock had walked out the door, and didn't look back.
He was shaken out of his thoughts by a low bass, strumming in a deep, slow beat. He came in on the guitar, and sang.
I can't escape this hell
So many times I've tried
But I'm still caged inside.
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself.
So what if you can see
the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become.
I can't escape myself
So many times I've lied
But there's still rage inside.
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself.
So what if you can see
the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself.
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this hell
So what if you can see
the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
So what if you can see
the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
No one will ever change this animal.
Sherlock took a deep breath. Christ, he really needed a hit. Just a small one. Just enough for him to get through this performance. He was noticing so many things. Too many things. Why is that girl even trying to hide that she is uncomfortable? Being polite? No, people are not polite. Why is that guy getting a drink? What did the bartender give him? Why? Why not? Too many questions running through his head. Sherlock ran off the stage, leaving his guitar behind.
When Sherlock slowed down, he could see David running after him. David stopped running and sat down next to where Sherlock was standing.
"So," David started. "What's oll this about, then, eh? Got yourself stage fright? Don't 'orry about it. You're doing good."
Well, Sherlock mind corrected. "I'm not stage frightened. I need a hit before I go insane."
David laughed. "Well you're far past insanity, mate. Going bonkers like the rest of us," he said, and smiled.
"No!" Sherlock shouted. "It's like people make it their life goal to irritate me with their stupidity. I am not going insane, I am not going bonkers, and I am not going to sing any more bloody songs!" Sherlock huffed. "Where is Sam? I'm taking my bit then leaving."
"Hey, wait! Look, if I can get you a small hit right now, will it calm you enough to stay?" David asked hopefully.
Sherlock sighed but nodded minutely. "Hey," David began. "you know, one thing I don't get abou' you, is that you calm down whenever you use. And, I mean you're using coke, so it shouldn't do that, right? Like, I'm not sure, cause I only use pot, but…"
Sherlock sighed. "My brain, without cocaine, is a dangerous weapon. I see things, I notice things, things that people don't want me to know. I haven't the faintest idea why; wouldn't you want to know if your girlfriend was cheating on you? Don't answer that.
"Now, with cocaine, I can use my mind and knowledge for things that matter, like science. I can hold my tongue and keep from getting beat up. The chemicals are devastatingly simple, but you wouldn't understand; then again nobody would.
"That answer your question?"
David just nodded.
Author's notes:
Hello, and welcome to chapter four!
Please send me lots of virtual carrots for my plot bunny. (It's name is Bluebell)