Thank you for the feedback! I really appreciate it and I'm happy you're interested in this story. I'm not good at writing break ups, but I hope I did them justice :)

Enjoy!

Two weeks ago…

"Unless you can give me a reason not to."

Jackson stared intensely at April, who tried her hardest to fight back her tears. She hoped he would give her an answer. It had taken a while for her to fully realize who her heart belonged to. Matthew was kind, caring and he loved her, but she knew she would be lying to him and to herself if she said the feeling was mutual.

Sure, she reacted quite aggressively with the plastic surgeon, but she wore her heart on her sleeve. A bus exploded in front of her and she thought Jackson hadn't made it out in time! How could she not freak out?

It was quiet and tense between them, making her uncomfortable. Was she speaking another language to him? Did he need more time for her confession to sink in? Did she make a mistake in telling him everything in the midst of a chaotic storm?

"Jackson," she murmured, fidgeting with the hem of her navy blue scrubs. "Say something. Please."

He slightly shifted on his hospital bed and sighed. "April, I'm not entirely convinced you know what you just told me. It wasn't too long ago that you accepted a proposal – a very extravagant proposal from Matthew," he started. "I saw your face. You were happy and we all saw how much he made you happy."

April furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "W-what are you saying?"

"I get it, alright? You were worried that I died in that explosion. I would have reacted the same way as you if it were the other way around except I wouldn't have started beating on you like you did earlier," he responded. "But I know you, April. Sometimes you don't think rationally before you open your mouth. Tomorrow morning… who knows what you'll tell me? Right now, you're emotional and tired-"

"I have every right to be emotional!" the trauma surgeon retorted. She couldn't believe he thought she was talking out of her ass. "I mean, I just told you how I felt. And- and you almost died-"

"Exactly. I almost died and near death experiences make people crazy." Jackson grimaced at the hurt reaction on April's face. He immediately regretted his words because it wasn't the first time he referred to her as crazy and she took offense to it. "I'm sorry. What I meant was you're reacting in the now. What about tomorrow? Listen, I don't know Matthew very well, but from what I can tell he cares about you. A lot."

"I know he does, but he's not you," April argued. She briefly wiped away a tear that had trickled down her cheek. "Jackson, you know me better than anybody else. Things didn't go well the first time we were together because we were never on the same page, but I know what I want. Don't tell me how I'm supposed to feel."

He took a deep breath and exhaled. "I'm with Stephanie. I've moved on. Some people were never meant to be together. No matter how hard they fight to make things work, they just can't. You and Matthew-"

"Don't bother," she cut him off and backed away from his bed. April choked back a sob as her eyes swelled with tears. She understood and didn't need to hear the rest of his explanation. Pulling open the curtain behind her, she refused to make eye contact with him. "Goodbye, Jackson."

She left him alone without looking back.

April sauntered down the dimly lit hallway as she failed to control the tears streaming down her face. She had been rejected by Jackson, whom she considered to be her best friend, at least in the past before their friendship turned into something more. He didn't want her and her heart stung thinking about it. Maybe she was being too selfish, she thought. Matthew was willing to give her another chance after she had lied to him about her virginity, but she found herself more emotional for a man who rejected her feelings.

She couldn't continue her relationship with the paramedic knowing her true feelings were for someone else.

Rounding the corner, she found Matthew sitting on the floor. He had his arms resting on his knees and he stared at the wall as if he were lost in thought. Slowly approaching him, her shoe squeaked against the floor, which caught his attention. He quickly pushed himself up when he noticed her, but he didn't appear to be very pleased to see her.

"We need to talk," she said in a serious tone, though her voice was shaky from crying earlier. He simply nodded his head and followed her into an on-call room. April dried her eyes with her scrub top before she spoke again. "I umm… th-there's something I have to tell you."

"I saw… what happened between you and Avery," Matthew admitted, placing his hands on his hips and shaking his head. "I just don't understand why you- was he the man you slept with? Because the way you reacted… are you in love with him?"

April nervously bit her lower lip and frowned at him. "I am," she softly whispered. The guilt caused the waterworks to start up again. "I-I I don't want to hurt you, Matthew. You're an amazing man, but I can't marry you."

"If you're in love with somebody else, then why would you accept my proposal?" he angrily questioned.

"I thought I had everything I wanted!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms up in frustration. "You organized this flash mob with my friends, in front of my coworkers and I was flattered. But I've been so messed up and confused for a long time now. I'm not good at this, being in relationships. It took me a long time to find somebody who could tolerate me for being neurotic and anal retentive and annoying to most people. I'm glad you didn't care about any of that, I really do… but you don't get me. You think you know me, but you don't."

Matthew stepped forward and gently grabbed April's shoulders. "Then let me get to know you. A major part of a successful relationship is honesty. You were honest with me once-"

"Yeah, and you dumped me!" she reminded him, pulling away from him. "We can share every detail about ourselves, but that won't change anything. It's not going to change how I feel about Jackson."

"I don't understand what you see in him. Sure, he's this good looking guy-"

"He's more than a good looking guy to me! Jackson and I go all the way back to our Mercy West days. We met as interns and he became my best friend. I gave my virginity to him because I trusted him and now…" April covered her mouth with her hand as she sobbed. "But I'm not breaking up with you for him. He… he doesn't love me back. I-I I'm doing this for me. And you deserve someone who is all in and loves you too. That person isn't me."

Before Matthew could respond, the door swung open and Alex walked inside. He appeared to be accompanying a woman, who couldn't be seen from their view. The pediatric surgeon stepped back when he realized it was occupied. "Oh, sorry," he muttered and flipped on the light switch. "Uhh, just wanted to let you know the electricity's working again or whatever."

His eyes switched back and forth between the dorky redhead and her dorky companion. It was clear to him he had interrupted some sort of drama based on how puffy April's eyes were. And Matthew just looked pissed.

"We're just about done here, Karev," she insisted, flipping open the inside of her scrub top. She fumbled with the safety pin that kept her engagement ring in place, an idea Callie had given her, so she wouldn't keep running it into things. After removing it from her scrub top, she forcefully shoved the diamond ring into Matthew's hand and ran out of the on-call room, ignoring the fact that Jo had also witnessed the end of the break up.

Alex watched April run down the hallway, furrowing his eyebrows. He glared at Matthew, who sadly stared at the ring in his hand. "Dude, what'd you do to her?" he accusingly asked.

Prior to walking in on the twosome, he had been looking forward to finally being alone with Jo, but seeing how upset the trauma surgeon was changed his priorities. He and April weren't necessarily close friends, though he felt compelled to protect her.

Matthew ignored the pediatric surgeon, bumping his shoulder into his as he walked out. Alex responded the Karev way by grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and slamming him against the wall. "Hey, I asked you a question, so you better give me a freaking answer before my fist becomes your new best friend," he threatened him.

"Alex, stop! Whatever it is, it's none of our business," Jo intervened, pulling him away from the paramedic. "We don't need to go through this again. Leave him alone."

He released Matthew from his grip and walked past him. "I'm gonna go look for Kepner."

The taller man fled the other direction, clenching his fist as he headed for the pit. He was a man who believed he could never actually hate a person, but he absolutely loathed Jackson Avery. He whipped open the curtain to Jackson's bed and stopped in his tracks when he found the plastic surgeon being comforted by Stephanie.

"What?" Jackson irritably acknowledged him.

Matthew shook his head. "You really have no idea, do you?" he scoffed before he walked away without bothering to close the curtain. It was the last time both men encountered each other.

Five days later…

"Did you hear? Stanford's trying to lure Kepner away from here," Cristina half-heartedly mentioned as she took the empty seat beside Jackson's at Joe's. Already sitting at the bar with them was Alex, who was seated on the opposite side of the plastics fellow. "She might be better off. I doubt she'll blow up or get impaled by an icicle or cheat death every year in Palo Alto."

"Since when was Stanford interested in her?" Jackson, whose left arm was in a sling while his shoulder sprain continued to heal, curiously asked. He hadn't seen or spoken to April since their confrontation in the pit. She was definitely avoiding him.

Alex sipped his beer before he answered, "Since she became board certified."

"What?" he responded with a puzzled expression on his face. "When did she take her boards?"

"Dude, where the hell have you been? She came back from Chicago last night after passing her boards," his drinking buddy replied, smirking back at him. "Everyone else knew about it. I was even nice enough to congratulate her. She needed this after Paramedic Doofus and her broke up."

Both Cristina and Jackson stared at Alex with raised eyebrows. He didn't quite know anything other than what he had seen. Searching for April after she ran off was a fail and he figured the gossip would spread from someone else since everybody knew each other's business within a day or two.

"They broke up and you didn't tell me? When?" Jackson inquired.

"Uhh, that night during the storm. I just happened to walk in on those two arguing and…" Alex rolled his eyes. "I didn't see a whole lot of it. April gave back the ring and ran off. I was gonna kick the guy's ass, but went after her instead. Couldn't find her, though. I'm willing to bet my life on it that those two are finito. Was I seriously the only person other than Jo to know this?"

The cardiothoracic surgeon chuckled. "Apparently," she replied in amusement. "I guess we won't be forced to line dance at their wedding after all."

Jackson's mind flashed back to what Matthew had said to him that night. If he hadn't been so annoyed to see the paramedic in the first place, he might have figured it out sooner. And Stephanie had been by his side, so he was also distracted by her presence. He closed his eyes and sighed in disappointment. April meant every word she had said to him.

"It wasn't bullshit," he mumbled to himself, drawing curious looks from his coworkers.

"What wasn't bullshit?" Cristina asked.

He opened his eyes and groaned. "She told me she wanted me that same night, but I took it the wrong way."

"How the hell can you take that the wrong way? Sounds pretty obvious to me that she wanted you," she ridiculed him. "Clearly, she missed her Jackson Action. She wasn't getting any from Matthew, that's for sure. Did you know he's a virgin? I mean, I'm not surprised. He seemed very virgin-y with his awkwardness and that goofy dance sequence, but Mer confirmed it with me. I guess April told her he was a virgin. Oh, and didn't you have to deal with burns on his ass? That means you got to see his ass before she did-"

"Yang, shut up," Jackson interrupted her rambling, resting his right elbow on the counter and covering his face with his hand. He was mentally cursing at himself for rejecting April's advances. She had come to the realization that he was her guy and instead, he pushed her towards the other guy, only for her to dump him that same night. "Son of a bitch."

"Oh my God, are you crying? Because if you are, I'd rather you lean on Karev's shoulder to dry your bitch baby tears," Cristina teased.

He dropped his arm onto the counter. "Fucking A. I want her too," he finally admitted. "I didn't think she was serious. I mean, c'mon. I almost died, so I thought she was acting out because of that."

Cristina unexpectedly slapped him upside the head. "Sorry, I'm not sorry. You deserved that," she bluntly said, while Jackson rubbed the back of his head and glared back at her. "Stop being a pussy and tell April how you feel. I knew from the second I heard you two were sleeping together that you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off of each other. Quit acting like you and Grumpy have this undeniable love for each other. You and I both know she's just a distraction for you, so you won't think about who you actually care about."

Alex snickered beside him. "I'm with Yang. Look, I don't think I'll ever get you and Kepner, but you can't help who you freaking fall for," he chimed in. "Dude, I'm telling you this as nicely as possible – don't be an idiot."

"And also admit that you two would be so lost without my words of wisdom," she arrogantly added, drawing eye rolls from both men. "Don't hate me because I'm right."

"Whatever," the pediatric surgeon muttered as Cristina left them alone. He turned around at the sound of the small bell that rung whenever customers arrived or left the bar. Their respective interns turned girlfriends appeared for their sort of double date after their shifts. "Like I said, I'm with Yang."

Jackson spun around in his seat as Alex ditched him to greet Jo. He emptied his glass of whiskey as Stephanie approached him, smiling and eager to see him after a long day. "Hey," he unenthusiastically greeted her.

"Ugh, today was the worst. I had two patients throw up on me and I was on Hunt's service. He's been in a mood since he and Yang called it quits," the intern whined before she leaned forward to kiss him. However, he moved his head and she caught his cheek instead. "Something wrong?"

"I… uhh…" He barely made eye contact with her, feeling guilty for what he was about to do. "I can't do this anymore."

"Do what exactly?" Stephanie slowly asked, folding her arms.

Jackson gestured his hand towards her and back to himself. "This. I've been lying to you… and myself. You're great. And fun. We were having fun, but you and me – it's not what I want," he confessed, running his hand over his shaved head. He was in between buzzed and drunk, so he wasn't in the best condition for a long speech, but she needed to know the truth. "I thought I could move on. I was fooling myself to think my feelings could fade away-"

"What the hell are you trying to tell me?" she furiously questioned. "Have you been seeing another woman behind my back the entire time?"

"No, that's not what I meant. But there is someone else," he confirmed. "And I'm in love with her. I'm sorry for leading you on-"

He couldn't finish what he wanted to say because Stephanie slapped his cheek hard. She stormed off to the women's restroom. Alex and Jo had witnessed it from across the room, so the latter chased after her friend. Karev offered a sympathetic shoulder shrug, while Jackson gently rubbed his cheek. Humiliating? Yes, but he couldn't deny that he deserved that as well. He had played mind games with Stephanie and he knew he should have stopped it when he hadn't called her for eleven freaking days.

But he was a coward. His feelings for April resurfaced every now and then, yet he fought hard to keep them buried. He didn't want to hide anymore. Jackson rushed out of the bar to talk to April.

Operation Reconcile with April was a bust. Jackson arrived at her apartment the previous night and he was prepared to knock on her door, but he had stopped himself. He wasn't sober and if he wanted her to believe he was sincere about his feelings, he needed to do it without the drunken mannerisms and bad breath. He decided to catch her at the hospital the following day.

He wasn't on call, but he had physical therapy for his shoulder. On his way to the PT clinic, Jackson bumped into Owen in the hallway. "Dr. Hunt," he greeted him. "Uhh, do you know if April's here today?"

"You just missed her, Avery. She's gone for the week, going on a cruise with her sisters. Bahamas, I think," the Chief of Surgery answered. "Stopped by a few hours ago, then she got on a plane to Orlando."

"Dammit," he mumbled under his breath, shoving his right hand into his pocket. "I heard she passed her boards and uhh, other hospitals were requesting for her service again. Any updates on that?"

"Well, she had some high class hospitals going after her. I told her to take her time, but she surprised me this morning when she came by my office to tell me that she was staying here," Owen informed the plastics fellow. "Turns out I can do something right. She's going to be a fine trauma surgeon. I'm glad I'll have her around for longer."

Jackson slowly nodded his head. He was angry at himself for blowing his opportunity to talk to her. Now he was forced to wait a whole week before he could see her face again. "Yeah," he sighed. "Me too."

Jackson couldn't feel more embarrassed as he watched the mystery man and April stand by one of the luggage carousels waiting for their belongings to arrive. He almost completely forgot about the bouquet of roses in his hand. There was no freaking way he wanted her to see him holding flowers, while some guy he already despised accompanied her.

Shit, shit, shit. Do something with the roses, you fucking moron!

He spotted a young couple nearby and literally shoved the bouquet into the man's hand. "Here, take this. You two look like a very happy couple," he ordered.

"Couple? She's my sister," the man retorted.

"Just take it, you douche!" Jackson assertively responded, then he quickly walked away from the siblings before they could return the roses to him. He took a deep breath and decided to make his presence known. Slowly approaching April and the blonde man, his stomach felt like it was in knots as he tapped her on the shoulder. "Hi, April."

The redhead was taken aback when she finally noticed him. "Jackson," she timidly replied. "Umm, what are you doing here? I thought Callie was supposed to be here."

He half-smiled at her. "Actually, she asked me to pick you up. She's got… things to deal with. You know, with Robbins and stuff," he lied. Glancing over the top of her head, he eyed the blonde man staring back at him. His arms were built similarly to his, though he convinced himself he could totally out bench the guy. "Is this a friend of yours?"

"Oh!" she gasped, turning towards the man. "This is Ryan Abbott. He's the new ortho attending at Grey Sloan Memorial – which is why I was expecting Callie to pick us up, so she could meet him. But he is a friend of mine, actually. Well, an old friend. We grew up together in Moline before he moved away when we were twelve. Small world, huh?"

"And an even smaller world, April and I ran into each other in Chicago. She was on a connecting flight to Seattle, which also happened to be my flight as well. I had no clue she worked at the same hospital I recently decided to move to," Ryan explained, then he extended his hand out to Jackson. "Sorry, I didn't catch your name, man."

"Jackson Avery," the pretty boy answered, firmly shaking his new coworker's hand. "I'm a plastic surgeon there."

"Cool shit. How do you and April know each other? I mean, besides working together."

April opened her mouth and hesitated to answer. She cleared her throat as she looked back at Jackson. "We go back… all the way to our intern year when Mercy West was still a hospital. Yeah, we've known each other for a while now."

Jackson slightly winced at her response. She couldn't even call him a friend. Then again, he partly blamed himself for that. Also, Ryan's name sounded familiar to him. He was certain April had talked about him in the past when she used to tell him stories about her childhood. "So, uhh… are you the same Ryan who dared himself to eat paint and almost died?" He softly chuckled. "Pretty stupid, if you ask me."

Ryan laughed and playfully nudged April's shoulder. "You told him about that story? But yeah, in retrospect, it was pretty damn stupid," he recalled as she awkwardly smiled at him. "It's fine, though. I'm alive, aren't I? Thanks for bringing up that memory, man."

Stop calling me man, ya fucker, Jackson internally cursed him out. They weren't acquaintances and he most definitely didn't want to be his friend. He knew April couldn't have hooked up with another man so quickly. That wasn't her, but just seeing her with any other man who wasn't him made him insanely jealous.

And she wasn't entirely thrilled to see him at the airport. She could hardly look him in the eye.

He noticed her suitcase rounding the carousel and he only recognized it because of the bright purple name tag with the Grey Sloan Memorial logo attached to it. "Oh, there's your luggage. I got it."

"No, you don't have t-" April pursed her lips when he ignored her and retrieved her suitcase for her. She inhaled sharply as he set it beside her, but he kept his hand on the handle. "Thank you."

Jackson smirked after she forcefully removed his hand from her luggage. "How was the Bahamas?" he asked, trying to spark a friendly conversation with her.

"It was relaxing. I enjoyed seeing all of my sisters in one place again," she politely answered.

"So… where's this package I'm supposed to bring back to Torres?"

"You just met him," April said, nodding her head at Ryan, who retrieved one of two suitcases. After he found the other one, she pointed towards the exit. "Okay, we're all set."

They followed Jackson to the parking garage. Ryan was already trying to get to know him better by asking him questions about the hospital, while April trailed behind them. He answered the orthopedic surgeon as nicely as possible, but he preferred running him over with his car. While his conscience was telling him that he was being way too harsh with his opinions of the new guy, he just really wanted to be alone with his best friend.

April was fairly quiet during the drive to her apartment. She let Ryan and Jackson talk for the most part and only spoke when either men asked her a question. When they arrived at her place she willingly carried her suitcase up the stairs, refusing help from Jackson.

He waited outside as she and Ryan entered her apartment. Normally, he could simply walk inside without being invited, but he hesitated. "Do you have any plans later?" he asked, slipping his hands into his pockets.

She turned around and stood in the doorway. "Probably going to take a nap before I take Ryan to his apartment. Then after he's settled in, we'll get some dinner or something. That's about it. Gotta fight the jet lag."

"Can I stop by-"

"Anyway, thanks for picking us up. I'll see you at work tomorrow," she cut him off, stepping back to close the front door.

Jackson was stunned that April shut the door in his face before he could say anything else. And he was slightly hurt that she hadn't invited him inside or to have dinner with her, which used to be automatic between the two of them. Her face may not have shown it, but he came to the conclusion that she was still very much pissed at him for breaking her heart.

I hope this chapter cleared some things up for you. Next up - first day back at work, the docs meet Ryan and awkwardness for J&A :)