Author's note: Here we (finally) are at the end of this lovely couple's chapter. Sorry to everyone who waited (if you're still waiting). Big thanks to everyone who reviewed and commented on this, and to everyone who spent your precious time reading it. I hope I didn't disappoint.
For a while, Bo's mind was blank as she panted, trying to recover from one of the most passionate sex she'd had with Lauren.
It wasn't how she imagined the night would turn out, and as she came to her senses, she felt something dripping on her bare shoulder. She looked for the source and realized that Lauren was shaking, and not from their tumble.
"Hey," Bo tried to halt her harsh breaths and said in the gentlest tone. "Hey, you're crying. Lauren?"
Lauren pushed herself out of Bo's arms quickly and pressed a hand to her mouth, willing herself to stop her sobs. Avoiding any eye contact with the succubus, she mustered the strongest voice she could, "It's nothing, Bo. You should go."
"What? I'm not going to just leave like that." Bo persisted, placing her arms on Lauren's shoulders.
"Just go, Bo!" Lauren yelled as fresh tears welled up in her eyes. She desperately wanted the succubus to leave, hoping to salvage whatever dignity she had. All the doctor heard, however, was a loud "no", followed by the feeling of arms wrapped firmly around her.
"No, Lauren, I won't – not until you tell me what's going on," Bo whispered fervently.
"Damnit, Bo, why can't you just –" Bo never heard the end of the sentence as Lauren started wailing. The apartment was filled with the most heartbreaking sobs Bo has ever heard, and she held Lauren tight and coaxed her to tell her what happened. She envisioned herself going to the perpetuator to making them pay, pay and pay some more.
However, when Lauren finally relented and voiced her reasons in half intelligible sentences, interrupted by sobs, Bo found her revenge scenario broken down word by word. Her heart slowly broke as Lauren told her about her frustration that she wasn't enough for Bo, her guilt for not trusting her and her horror at seeing Bo lose control at the club.
It was her, Bo thought as she closed her eyes. The one she should pummel into the ground was herself.
"I know I should have believed in you, but when you lost control at the club, it was like seeing Nadia again," Lauren said in hiccups. "A-And what happened with Nadia, I…I didn't know if you'd become like her too.
"I can't do it again, taking the knife and…I cou-couldn't help her, and I couldn't help you. You were right – I almost killed Kenzi, that's on me. Just like Nadia, that's on me too."
Bo looked at Lauren in dismay – what frightened her wasn't her lover's hysterics, but the doctor's calm acceptance of what Bo said in the heat of the moment. The succubus knew what she said was wrong, and she knew the doctor should be aware that they were said to guilt, to manipulate, to push her buttons so she'd let Bo out. She just didn't account for how terrified Lauren was at seeing her lose control, and how defeated the doctor was by everything in life, including Bo.
"They're not!" Bo said fiercely and tightened her hold on Lauren. "Nobody – none of this – is on you, Lauren. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry for saying those things to you. I didn't mean any of them, please, I was being stupid and angry and trying to guilt you to let me out.
"You were right – you were the one who discovered that my cells were dying. You're brilliant, and you should never be punished for that. The Ash was a jerk. I'm a jerk too, and I came to apologize for hurting you like that."
"So you didn't come to…break up?" Lauren asked. Bo was shocked for a moment, and she started to laugh. Despite Lauren's bewildered look, she didn't stop until a few minutes later.
"I'm sorry." Bo noticed she seemed to be saying that a lot. "I'm not laughing at you, I'm just laughing at the absurdity of our lives. I mean, less than two weeks ago I came here, thinking that we were…maybe this isn't the best time to bring it up."
She kissed Lauren softly and leaned her forehead on the doctor's, "You need to rest, so right now I'll just quickly say this – we are not over.
"You taught me that your secret to any relationship is trust, understanding and compromise. I came up with my own formula after being with you – it's consideration, forgiveness and a healthy dose of Doctor Lewis."
Lauren snorted, and while Bo knew laughing and crying at the same time wasn't the greatest sight, she found the doctor unbearably cute.
"'Formula'," Lauren said. "Dork."
"Your dork, doctor." Bo grinned. "I know we still have to sort out our issues, but can I take you to bed before we do? Your amazing skills, as always, have worn me out." Without waiting for a response to her teasing, she carried Lauren and headed to the bedroom.
"Well I thought it was…our last, and you know how they go." Lauren's voice was muffled as she laid her head on Bo's shoulder, but Bo caught the hint of pride anyway.
And so the lovers lay on their bed, slowly drifting off to sleep as Bo gently stroke Lauren's back. Before she succumbed, however, a thought came to the succubus.
"Wait. That was breakup sex? It was amazing."
"Hmm. I know we've had make up sex before, but wait till you try post near-breakup sex, succubus," Lauren whispered into Bo's ear, nuzzled her neck softly and went back to sleep.
Bo smiled, glad that they were definitely not over.