Perhaps this is why she had wandered through the base with the mission file in her hands. She had looked it over, twice in fact, the information was there in her head, but it was more like an act of remembering the written words rather than understanding them. She stored the information in her brain for consideration later while a pressing matter kept coming back to her in a soft Italian purr.
Parker had been released from the hospital a week after he was brought back and she never failed to visit him every day. Even if it was to coyly say hi and run. Jill hated that part of her that made her so utterly a woman in front of Parker. She wasn't even this… girlish in front of Chris. Although Chris didn't seem to mind the lack of overt femininity normal women tend to share around attractive men. She was just a normal woman in front of Chris which was enough to keep his attention when he wasn't 'in the zone'. Truth to be told, she was always 'in the zone' too… which means neither one of them ever had a chance to really 'take the next step' to what was plainly there.
Jill was tired of feeling lonely in quiet moments. There weren't very many to speak of. But when they did happen by, she badly wanted… Chris to be with her. But his mind was elsewhere. A well oiled machine made to bring down the next faction who dare threaten the safety of this world and she admired him for it. If things hadn't turned out this way for them, would they have already dated and married? Or would they have dated and found out that they weren't good for one another? Well thanks to Umbrella for fucking that part of their lives up.
Unfortunately, she does have needs that have to be filled. Things that haven't been getting filled and it was getting to be that time again where she felt there was no other option to stem the need but to seek alternative methods, which basically meant, if Chris wouldn't come to her bed and make love to her, she would have to do it herself. Not go to him, his libido never seemed to work in her favor even if he happens to be where she can get at him. No… she had to satisfy herself which just isn't the same.
She wanted the feel of a man against her. A man to make her feel every bit the woman she is. She can get sleazy and just find a random guy to bone her… but she wasn't that type of woman. She was not in the habit of having multiple partners off the field. Her feet, in her casuals, carried her to a familiar area of living quarters for on base soldiers. She still felt the papery weight of the folder in her hand as down the hall she could see Parker's door. A dim light coming from under the door in the semi dark hall.
She paused for a moment. It wasn't too late to go back to her own wing, to her own room, to shut the door and lock it and make herself feel bliss, but it wasn't the same. And quite frankly, if she was mistaken about the motivation and invitation that drove her to Parker, then she will practice abstinence for the rest of her life.
Most of the time, not every time but most, she had been near Parker in the last few weeks; she couldn't help but undress him with her eyes. She was sure that if her back was to him, that he was doing the same to her. She could nearly feel his desire stripping her down to her skin where the fire would scorch her. They never really said as much, she had a feeling that he assumed that she was with Chris. She would be if their lives hadn't turned out the way they had, but it wasn't exactly a secret that they were coupled in a different way. So in essence, she is Chris's and Chris is hers, however… that is the understanding and as far as it has gone.
She never said anything because she thought he still had a thing for Jessica. She thought he still may be hurting over her betrayal. But all things considered, neither one of them could deny that there was much sexual tension between them. The way he looked at her breasts and curve of her hips and thighs, the way he drew breath when they were close; the way her eyes roved over his massive arms and had wandered downward to the gentle swell of his crotch in most everything he wore. It was like they were making love without touching and most of the time, just visiting him to say hello and see how he was doing on his recovery left her leaving his apartment five minutes later needing a cigarette and a cold shower. And she doesn't even smoke.
Let's not misunderstand though. She was not going to Parker to use him for what she knew he'd give her in a second if she asked… She no more wanted to use him or hurt him than he to her. She knew, here in the BSAA that they were soldiers and priorities take precedence. But in moments of humanity… when they are allowed to be people… urges and desires take hold, overflow and tend to burst out where they had been held in for so long.
As she came to his door and knocked on it gently. She looked at her watch. It was 21:32PM. She hoped it wasn't too late to make a visit. And as soon as her knuckles hit the metal door the 3rd time, she heard movement from inside the closed room. She mentally seen him perhaps sleeping in his chair wrapped in a sheet with the television spewing white noise into the room and her knocking sent him rolling out of his chair to throw on the nearest pair of pants he could find. The image of the hair on his chest, him in a daze and rolling around in a sheet made her smile. There was no hiding or denying it now… she wanted him badly.