Hey everyone! Sorry for the long update. Two things were happening – Assassin's Creed 3 and the prospect of my first serious relationship. I'll try to update sooner, but my lady comes first ;) !

Chapter 5 – The Nightmares of Hollows

By the time I had returned to The Caretaker's world, Grimmjow, Starrk, and Lillynette had already left. Almost unconsciously, I checked my body to see if I was still in my final release state. Thankfully, I had returned to my original form, which in this case was what I looked like when I was an Espada.

The Caretaker was watching the Eyes of the Kingdom, her eyes flicking from one mirror to the next. Without even glancing at me, she said, "Well done, Ulquiorra. I watched your progress the whole time. I think you would have even given Sora a run for his money."

This has been bugging me for a long time. "Caretaker," I began, choosing my words carefully, "just who is this Sora you keep talking about? Did he wield a Keyblade as well?"

The Caretaker did turn to me. For the first time since we've met two months ago, she looked… sad. "Well, I suppose you've earned the right to know," she said.

"Sora was a boy from a world called Destiny Islands. He acted a lot like the Orihime you knew – trusting to the point of being naive, easily made happy, and eager to make friends. His two friends, Riku and Kairi, made a raft with him to sail beyond their island."

"That's when the Heartless happened. They kidnapped Kairi, turned Riku towards the forces of darkness, and plunged Destiny Islands into darkness. Throughout all this, Sora found a way to wield the Keyblade."

"Waking up on another world, he gradually gained more knowledge about the Keyblade and the rules concerning the other worlds. He gradually set off to those worlds to find his friends alongside some help from King Mickey's court. Do you remember me telling you about them?"

"I do," I replied. "King Mickey is one of the strongest Keyblade wielders to ever have existed. His friends who make up the royal court are no less impressive."

"Very good," the Caretaker praised. "Sora continued traveling other worlds, fighting the Heartless and the people who controlled them. He eventually stopped the most powerful Heartless of all – Xehanort's Heartless."

"I couldn't help noticing that you refer to Sora in the past tense," I noted. "What happened to him?"

"Organization XIII happened," she said with disgust laced into her voice. "First they stripped Sora of his memories in a place called Castle Oblivion. Then they placed him into a deep slumber. Sora's friends suffered the same fate."

She looked at one mirror in particular on the Eyes of the Kingdom. This one, unlike all the other ones, stayed blank. It showed nothing except a gray color similar to fog. "Sora was – is – powerful, because he received his strength the way that I intended the other wielders to. He gained it through experience and through the experiences of the heart."

I could tell, without a doubt, that the Caretaker was telling me the truth. However, I could tell that she was holding something back. What was it?

However, I had no desire to repeat the argument we had before I left for Halloween Town. Instead, I bowed and said, "Thank you for trusting me with this. Do you wish Grimmjow and the others to know?"

"No," the Caretaker replied immediately. "Word of Sora going to sleep cannot be allowed to spread. It would empower the villains he stopped to try again. And while I have no doubt in your abilities, Ulquiorra, I doubt you can be everywhere at once."

"I understand," I said. "I'll take my leave now, if you don't mind."

"Of course," she replied offhandedly. She walked back to the Eyes of the Kingdom and proceeded to scan the screens. She was searching for something, but for what? Well, I can't worry about it now. I'm going to rest.

I was in my final form, only this time I had access to my powers associated with this form as well. I was charging at Ichigo Kurosaki, who was in his fully Hollowfied form. Bringing my Lanza Del Relampago attack to bear, I was about to run him through at full speed. Instead, he disappeared using Sonido and reappeared in front of me, grabbing my blade in his free hand.

"You really think you can do it, don't you, Ulquiorra?" He asked. Clenching his hand, he shattered my Lanza. "You think you can simply get a heart? After everything you've done?"

I backed away from him. That's when I noticed the Hollow hole on Kurosaki's body seal up and the black lines on his body shift. Soon, he had the symbol of the Heartless in place of a Hollow hole. "What I did wasn't because I wanted to," I said desperately. This… thing before me is one of the few creatures that actually scares me. "I was only following orders."

Kurosaki laughed, taking off his Hollow mask. He looked normal, except he still retained his long hair and his Hollow eyes. "That's not an excuse, and you know it. I could kill you right now, but I have something better in mind for you."

His hair whipped towards me, growing black as they got closer. Soon I was wrapped in a cocoon of hair, which was rapidly becoming one of darkness. Kurosaki made a move as if to head-butt me, but stopped millimeters in front of my face.

"I'm going to turn you into a Heartless, Ulquiorra Schiffer," he whispered. "You'll invade worlds with others like you, stealing hearts and making them into more of us, Hollows and Nobodies and Heartless. You'll be the same thing you were when you served Aizen, the same thing I am – a monster."

"No… NNNOOOOO!" I screamed. I continued screaming until the darkness covered my head.

I woke up in a cold sweat. Thank Spirit King that it was only a dream. Just to check, I fumbled my hands over my chest until I found my Hollow hole. I'm not a Heartless.

Looking around my room, I couldn't shake what Kurosaki told me in my dreams. The truth of the matter is, he's right. My actions, though I believed they were just at the time, caused harm to a great many people. Kurosaki only knew of the pain that I caused Orihime and his other friends. What he didn't know is that I've been hurting people for far longer than that. For seven hundred years, I've devoured countless spirits and humans, all for the matter of power and superiority.

I was so lost in my thoughts, my eyes didn't even process my room. It was very simple, with a drawer that contained various uniforms, a mirror in the shape of triangle, and one window. Anybody would have complained (I bet half my spiritual pressure that Grimmjow threw a fit), but I really needed very little. My room in Aizen's fortress contained less than this.

Getting up, I walked towards the window. Was Ichigo right? Was it really impossible to get a heart? Of course it isn't, I scolded myself. The question is, do I deserve one?

A knock on the door made me jump a bit. Who would be knocking at this time of night? Getting up, I walked over and opened the door.

Lillynette was there, dressed in loose fitting pajamas. I wonder if the Caretaker knows she hates the color pink? I don't think so, because Lillynette's pajamas were colored an overwhelming pink. What stood out to me, though, was that she was crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my racing through a bunch of possibilities. Was it Starrk? If so, the Caretaker needs to be alerted immediately. Was it the Heartless?

"I had a nightmare," she sobbed.

The idea was so mundane, I mentally slapped myself for not thinking of it. "Then talk to Starrk," I replied, perhaps a bit too sharply. "He's bound to you, after all."

"He's asleep," Lillynette sobbed. "No one else is awake. Even the Caretaker turned in."

I was very tempted to order her to go away. Why should I concern myself with her nightmares? Just as my hand was about to push on the door, though, I remembered something from Halloween Town. When I thanked Jack Skellington, a most unusual feeling coursed through my body. It was strange, to say the least, and certainly not something I had felt during my entire existence as a Hollow. I felt a weight in my chest, right where the heart should be. I didn't feel the need to remove it – rather, I welcomed the weight, like I knew it would define my being alive. With that weight, I felt the need to do something… emotional. That's why I smiled. Right now, I was feeling that weight once again. It was telling me to help Lillynette.

"Come on in," I said. I had Lillynette sit on the bed while I pulled up a chair. Looking her in the eyes, I asked, "What was your nightmare about?" Damn. Shouldn't have asked that – the last thing Lillynette wants right now is to relive that nightmare.

Lillynette stopped sobbing by taking a few steady breathes. "Do you remember when Aizen told us about the Thirteen Court Guard Companies?" She asked.

How could I forget? Aizen lectured us on every Company until we knew when they would be using the restroom. I was especially interested in Sixth Company and their captain, Byakuya Kuchiki. He sounded like he was the most powerful Soul Reaper after Head Captain Yamamoto, and I was eager to test my abilities against him. No, eager is the wrong word for that situation – I was convinced that he was one of the few Soul Reapers who weren't trash.

"Of course," I replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Well," Lillynette began, "when Aizen took me and Starrk to the World of the Living, we ended up fighting the Captain of Eighth Company, Shunsui Kyoraku. He ended up killing us."

The Caretaker brought back Lillynette and Starrk from the dead? Just how powerful is she?

"In my nightmare, Starrk and I were fighting that Captain. That's when things… Kyoraku tore off the part of his uniform covering his chest. Ulquiorra, he had a Heartless symbol."

Now she had my attention. This was sounding a lot like my own nightmare.

"He… he separated me and Starrk. He plunged his fist into my Hollow hole, and I… I…" she broke into tears again, covering her face with her hands.

I'm not sure who was more surprised by my next action – me, or Lillynette. I got up, and I wrapped my arms around her in a hug. I didn't tell her that everything was going to be alright, that nightmares stopped once you woke up. I just held her, stroking her head. Sometimes, silence is a better cure than any amount of words can ever be.

"I was turned into a Heartless," Lillynette whispered. "You don't know what it's like, Ulquiorra. Only one thought was running through my head – collect more hearts. Do you know what it feels like? To be a monster whose only goal, whose only purpose, in life is to hurt others?"

"Yes. I do."

Lillynette looked up at me, surprised. I continued, saying, "Even before I met Lord Aizen, I was different from the other Hollows. For some reason, when I became a Hollow, I lost the ability to feel any emotion. I couldn't get angry. I couldn't cry. Smiling was an impossible task. Perhaps worst of all, I didn't feel the need to regain the emotions I lost."

I looked into the distance, my mind flashing back to every act I committed before getting my Keyblade. "I killed people and ate their souls. Perhaps that's not so different from any other Hollow. Starrk and Grimmjow certainly did that. However, I did it without any moral code. I did things that even would have made that crazy Octavo Espada horrified. And now, I'm left with those memories. Perhaps it's a good thing that I lost my emotions – I don't think I would have been able to live with myself I did."

I turned to Lillynette, my gaze holding an equal mix of hope and determination. "If there's one thing I'm certain of, though, it's this. If a monster like me can wield a weapon meant for those with pure hearts…" I summoned my Keyblade to my hand to emphasize my point, "then redemption is possible for anyone. You are not the monster from your nightmare, Lillynette, any more than I am the same man I was when I was trying to become a Vasto Lorde."

I must have made Lillynette feel better, because she threw her arms around me in a bear hug. "You're right, Ulquiorra!" she beamed. "I'm a new woman! Time for me to decide my own destiny!"

She bounced towards the door. Right before she was about to leave, she turned back to me. "Before I forget – thank you, Ulquiorra!" She then closed the door, leaving me alone once again.

This time, though, I didn't feel nearly as bad. I turned over my words in my head. If a monster like me can wield a weapon meant for those with pure hearts, then redemption is possible for anyone. While I was saying that, I couldn't control what I was saying. Was it a lie I fabricated, just to make Lillynette feel better? Or was it my heart, trying to tell me and Lillynette a simple truth? I think – no, I believe – that the latter is what happened.

"You're wrong, Ichigo Kurosaki," I said out loud. "I am not who I was all those centuries ago. I am a new man, ready to defend the forces of light and every innocent being. Not because I was ordered to, but because my heart desires it." Satisfied, I went back to sleep.