Imsorryimsorryimsorrydontkillmepleaseallimdoingisw ritinghorriblethings

It's been about a month since Cry and I started dating. More co-ops were being done, more fan mail was being sent, Everything was great. We even went on a few little dates here and there. Our lives were perfect. The only out-of-place thing was that Cry's friend Russ wasn't in the past 4 livestreams they did. Cry said it was because he was sick with something, I didn't really pay attention. (Adventure Time was on how could I?)

Cry and I were sitting on the couch, cuddling and watching something on TV. I think he started to fall asleep on me so turned it off and picked him up bridal style and carried him to our bedroom. I had just started to crawl in bed with him when I heard the phone ring in the living room. I walked down the hallway to where the phone sat and picked it up. I was definitely not expecting this.

'-Felix?'

My heart almost stopped dead in my chest as I instantly recognized the voice. It was Marzia. I didn't even know how she got this number. It was then that I realized that I should probably respond to her so I replied with a small sounding 'yeah.' She took a moment to say something afterwards and I was about to hang up when she decided to play a little game.

'I still love you, Felix. What I did that night was the biggest mistake of my life and I want you back. Please, please come back to me.'

I felt a lump form in my throat at her words. I didn't know what to say, I wasn't even sure if I still loved her or not. Honestly, she had been the farthest from my mind lately.

"Marzia... I'm dating Cry now. You messed up and you need to accept that some things can't be fixed. Now I'm going to hang up. Goodbye." I took the phone from my ear as she started screaming at me for no reason and hung up. I felt really guilty all of a sudden and I couldn't figure out why. I then sighed and went back to Cry and I's bedroom.

I saw Cry illuminated by the hallway light, he was curled up almost into a little ball and cuddling the blankets. I resisted the urge to squee a little and crawled into bed with him. He opened his eyes half way and gave me a quick peck on the lips before he put his arms around me.

"Wha's wrong?" He asked me, half asleep. I kissed his forehead and told him not to worry about it before we both fell asleep.

I woke up the next day later than I normally would. Cry had already gotten up and made breakfast by the time I dragged myself out of bed. He made me eggs and bacon and kissed me on the cheek before he left to go to the store. I had a good hour of alone time to play some video games before he got back home. I set up a random game that i picked off the living room coffee table and sat on the couch.

He returned a little sooner than intended, I heard him laughing at me because of my excessive swearing at Call of Duty. I picked up a pillow that was on the couch and threw it at him, unfortunately he caught it and threw it back at me. It hit me in the face and the next thing I know CoD has been abandoned and we're throwing pillows at each other.

That lasted for a while until we were both tired. We made up/made out-what's the difference?- and went to bed, seeing as how it was late.

Things were normal for three more days until both Cry and I got the shock of our lives. The doorbell rang and Cry was in the bathroom, so I decided to answer it. There was Marzia, standing at the door, with tears streaming down her face. I felt myself pale at seeing her here, I had almost forgotten about the night that she called. We just kind of stood there, staring at the other.

I was saved from my thoughts when Cry came over and pulled me inside. He closed the door in her face and looked at me with unbridled fear and anger. I suddenly felt scared and guilty just looking at him, even though it didn't seem like I did anything wrong.

"What is she doing here? How did she even get our address?" I actually had no idea, but I was starting to get worried. I told Cry to calm down, which he tried to do but failed, and walked over to the door with him. I looked through the window and saw that she was still there, just standing and staring at the door.

"I don't know why she's here, I never gave her the address when she ca- oh. I forgot to tell you that..." I looked away and rubbed the back of my neck as Cry continued to look at me.

"Tell me what? Did you invite her over here?" He put his hand on his hips and stared me down like a pissed off housewife.

"Well, she called here three days ago... But I forgot about it and I never told her the address! I have no idea why or how she got here I swear."

His gaze got slightly less angry but was replaced by worry. The look in his eyes made me want to go to him and hug him and tell him it'll be okay. But I honestly don't know if it will. I glanced out the window again to see her leaving the property and sighed in relief. I turned back to Cry but saw that he had gone down the hallway to our bedroom and closed the door.

Cry POV

I couldn't even think straight anymore. My head was too full of horrible thoughts that mostly consisted of Pewdiepie leaving me for her. How could he not tell me that she called? How the hell did she even get the phone number and address? I groaned a little and sat on the bed, trying to think clearly.

If he still loves her, I wouldn't blame him. If he wants to go back to her after all she's done-even though it'll kill me inside-then he should. I won't stop him from being happy. I smiled sadly and felt a few tears trickle down my cheeks as I thought of how much happier he seemed when they were together.

I let out a little sob at that and flopped onto my side. I heard a thump from outside the door and got up and opened it a little to see what it was. Pewds was there sitting with his back to the wall next to the door. His knees were drawn up and arms curled around them, his head on his knees. I sighed a little and went to sit next to him. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and tried not to cry anymore.

He looked up at me with wet eyes and smiled sadly. Even in this kind of situation he could still smile, even if it was small. I kissed the tip of his nose and held my forehead against his. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around me in a hug so tight I thought he was trying to suffocate me. I hugged him back, almost as if I were to let go he would disappear forever.

We stayed like that for a while, silent tears streaming down our faces in a desperate embrace. Eventually we let go and just sat against the wall until I asked probably the dumbest question of my life.

"Do you still love her?" I heard him sniff and saw him cringe slightly before he answered.

"... Yeah." My tears got worse at this and I felt a small part of me die inside.

"... Do you love me?" He instantly responded with a definite 'yes' and I smiled sadly. "Do you want to go back to her?" I heard him sigh and get up to walk to the bathroom a little ways down the hall. I waited for him for a while until I felt myself get tired, so I went to our-maybe just mine now-bedroom.

I turned on the light and shut the door before I started to get into my pajamas. As I crawled into bed I saw one of Pewdie's shirts on the floor and decided to pick it up so it wouldn't get floor dirties on it. I looked at the design on the front; it was his brofist shirt. His favorite one.

I felt tears prick my eyes once again and lied down with the shirt in my arms. I brought it to my nose to sniff it a little, it was day worn and smelled just like him. I smiled a little as I thought of how much of a stalker that made me sound but honestly, I don't give a shit anymore. I sighed into the shirt and felt myself fall into a dreamless sleep.

Pewds pov

'/Do you want to go back to her?/' I heard Cry's words echo in my head as I stared myself down in the mirror. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved him, but I also knew that I loved her-even after all she's done to me. I sighed and got my pathetic self out of the bathroom and walked over to our-Cry's- bedroom.

I didn't bother turning off the light since I would need it to change. I was halfway through taking off my shirt when I looked over at the bed and saw a small lump right in the middle of it. I walked over and saw Cry laying there with my famous brofist shirt in his arms. I smiled sadly and got under the blankets with him without bothering to change. I held him tightly, but not so tight as to wake him up.

I must've failed because I felt him stir and hug me back. He glanced up at me with such sadness in his uncovered, blue eyes. Just seeing that made me want to kick my own ass for putting that look there. I kissed him softly and started to pet his hair, hearing his little sniffles every now and then.

"... If you want me to, I can help you pack your things for when you go back to Sweden with her..." I looked down at the top of his head and frowned. Then again I never did answer his earlier question so I guess his assumption that I was leaving him was justified. I sighed against his oak brown hair and told him that I was sorry.

"For what?"

"For making you so sad just because I can't get over her. You deserve better." I sniffled a little and kissed his forehead.

"It's okay, Pewds. Really." He looked up at me and smiled as genuinely as he could and I felt like punching myself in the face. How could I do this to him? I thought. He took me in when I had nowhere to go, treated me almost like a prince, loved me so much-so very much- and there's still a question in my mind of who I love more. I sighed at the frustration and unfairness of this situation. If I leave Cry and go back to Marzia, she might cheat on me again. But if I say no to Marzia and stay with Cry, I might end up regretting it. The more I thought about the situation, the more exhausted I felt. I hugged Cry a little tighter and let my eyes fall shut as I fell into a restless sleep.