** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1
Cruise Control 2/?
"Come on we've still got an hour's drive ahead of us what's wrong with some travel songs to get the atmosphere going?" Brian grumbled as Esther groaned quietly resisting the urge to reach for one of Jack's golf clubs and accidently on purpose hit her husband on the head with it while she did. She didn't have any desire to kill him altogether and spoil everyone's trip but surely no one could blame her for knocking him out just long enough for them to get him onto the ship and into a cabin without them having to listen to another single verse of "99 bottles of beer on the wall" she was sure she'd actually be doing everyone a favour.
"Brain if you want to see Southampton at all tonight I suggest you shut up because right now if we stopped the minibus and left you on side of the road to hitch home no one would blame us." Gerry replied not even opening his eyes as he spoke. They'd all been in the bus for less than half an hour and already he was being driven mad. Jack was sitting on the seat beside him grumbling every few minutes about everything from the temperature in the bus to the traffic that the rest of them couldn't seem to see but he was convinced was making them have to drive too slowly. Brian was determined to make them all feel like they were 15 again and stuck on a school trip he didn't want to be on singing crap songs to make it all more bearable. Esther looked ready to kill him and them for dragging her on the trip in the first place and Sandra and Emily in the front of the bus seemed to be finding it far too easy to completely ignore the rest of them and carry on with their own conversation that he was sure was more interesting than what was happening in the back of the bus.
"Yeah Brian if we have to all be stuck in the bud for an hour and a half you need to shut up or I might have to gag you." Jack grumbled glaring at Brian as he went to open his mouth to argue with them and shut it again swiftly when Esther dug her elbow swiftly into his ribs.
"Boy come on stop arguing once we get this bit over and get on the bus the real holiday starts stop acting like a pack of teenagers!" Sandra shouted from the front of the bus turning and staring at them all for a second until she heard all three men mutter "yes Sandra" and smiled at Esther and Emily as she tried not to laugh. The concern she'd been feeling before they left the house and which Gerry had done such a good job of ending was completely gone and she was starting to actually feel a surge or excitement about the trip one she wasn't prepared to have quashed by their bickering.
"Mr Lane why don't you make me jealous by telling me all the stops you have on your trip?" Emily smiled winking at Sandra as she mouthed a silent thank you to her for giving Brian something to do that would occupy him without driving the others crazy.
"Well we start in Southampton tonight….."
"I think she could have worked that bit out for herself Brian since she's driving us there." Esther sighed resting her head back on the head rest on her seat and closing her eyes as Gerry laughed at her comment.
"Yeah, yeah of course she can, well then we go from Southampton to Gibraltar and the ship docks there over night and we're going to see the monkeys…"
"Make sure they don't mistake Dad as one of them and attack him for being an interloper." Emily interrupted the ripple of laughter through the bus making Sandra smile, at last it seemed like people were starting to relax and get into the same relaxed mood she was in.
"Hey leave your old man alone!" Gerry laughed "If they mistake anyone for a monkey it'll be Jacko he's got the same grumpy scowl you see on those old monkeys on postcards with all the young virile males like me running circles round them!"
"You? Virile? Yeah right." Jack jibed back shaking his head as Sandra scoffed.
"Now Jack don't demean Gerry's virility I can testify that it's just fine." She smiled the collection of groans and wrinkled noses her comment cause making her laugh again.
"God Sandra talk about TMI!" Emily groaned "Please Mr Lane save me where are you going from there?"
"Round the Spanish island, Majorca, Minorca then on to mainland Spain where were going on a trip to Barcelona it's the only night on the two weeks we spend off the ship we drive from the ship to the city one day see the sights stay over and then back to the ship for dinner then next night. That's when we're going to see the bull fights."
"No! We're not seeing any bull fights!" Sandra and Esther chorused
"I already reminded him of that Sandra." Esther said with a firm shake of her head, "I told him we had already put a ban on bull fights that poor bull did nothing to anyone and it gets chanced round a ring I mean he calls himself an animal lover!"
"For the last time it's nor cruel it's cultural and the bull isn't harmed they revere the bull no true bull fighter would wilfully hurt a bull not in this day and age it's a stage show and the bull is in on the act." Brian snapped holding up two sheets of printed A4 paper with internet information on it. "See I even printed the details for you to see!"
"I call Bull of the shit variety on that!" Sandra replied watching as Brian's eyes widened and Jack and Gerry burst into fully riotous laughter. "You've already been told no bull fighting there's plenty of other cultural things you can do watching a poor bull run around being chased by a bloke in a costume two sizes too small for him that looks like a reject from Elton John's 80's wardrobe can carry on without us!"
"You're fighting a losing battle there I'd give up if I was you mate." Gerry smiled the way Brian tucked the sheets of paper into the file he had on his knee telling them all that they were unlikely to have heard the last of the end of his desire to see the traditional Spanish event.
"We'll see, anyway Emily then we have 4 days of cruising around the med without getting off the ship and then sail home I've been checking the weather and it's supposed to be perfect for the next two weeks its going to be great," Brian concluded closing the file again and smiling triumphantly at them all before starting to quietly hum "There were four in the bed" as everyone else groaned.