Broken Hearts Combined
(-)
I do not own Gold Digger and its associated characters. They belong to that marvelous fellow Fred Perry. I do not own Ranma ½ and its associated characters. They belong to the wonderful lady Rumiko Takahashi. This production is strictly for entertainment, and I am not making any money off of the writings. I am just a poor student, so please… Don't sue me… Please?
(-)
Broken Hearts Combined Chapter 18: Karia Doesn't Like Being Called a 'Ho'.
Pain… It's an incredible sensation… An overall soreness is in this man's body… This man happens to be Ranma Saotome…
Ranma (Thinks): Oh man… Where am I? Shit it hurts…
Ranma opens his eyes. He stares at the ceiling and notices that he's in a very familiar room. This is one of the guest rooms in Nali's home/clinic. Ranma tries to sit up, but he feels a sharp stinging pain in his lower back, so he settles back down.
Ranma (To himself): Okay… That hurts… Shit… Why am I in so much pain?
Ranma moves his eyes to look around the room. He sees Britanny asleep in another bed to his left, and Sheila asleep in a chair to the right of the bed. Ranma contemplates waking them up, and decides against it. They both look so peaceful sleeping.
Ranma (Thinks): Sigh… It's never easy…
Ranma just lays his head back and closes his eyes as he tries to rest.
(-)
Twenty minutes go by in almost utter silence. The only thing Ranma has heard is Britanny and Sheila's steady breathing.
Finally, Ranma hears some footsteps coming towards the room and opens his eyes. The door opens slowly and Nali peeks through the door. Ranma tries to wave at her.
Ranma: Hey Nali.
Nali, seeing Ranma is awake, opens the door, and moves over to him.
Nali: Hello Ranma… How're you feeling?
Ranma: … Sore…
Nali: Well… That's to be expected… You know, you caused a lot of damage with your fight with Karia…
Ranma would shrug his shoulders, but he's in a bit too much pain at the moment.
Ranma: Nali… Can you help the pain in any way?
Nali: Of course I can. I am a Healing Mage after all… I'm just surprised that you're still in pain after all the time you had resting.
Ranma: Huh? What do you mean?
Nali: You were unconscious for a week…
Ranma's eyes widen in shock. He can't believe that HE of all people was out of action for a week!
Ranma (Wide-eyed): A WEEK!?
Ranma, out of instinct clasps his right hand over his mouth, putting his body in even more pain. Britanny is shocked by the noise, made fully awake. She sits straight up in bed, looking around. Sheila is shocked awake as well, except she loses her balance somewhat, and causes the chair to fall over backwards, landing with a loud thud.
Both Britanny and Sheila then look towards the source of the loud sound. The expressions on their faces change from shock to joy as they see Ranma is finally awake.
Britanny & Sheila: RANCHAN!
The two werecats literally jump towards Ranma and grab him in a hug, relieved to see he's okay. Ranma's eyes widen, from the pain he feels at having two people crush him for dear life…
Go to a pan-shot of the outside of Nali's home.
Ranma (Voice): RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
IT HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSS!
Birds take of flying from the trees.
(-)
Sheila and Britanny stand in the corner, blushing like crazy. Nali is standing by the bed as she casts a healing spell on Ranma who is sitting on the bed; his body in a somewhat caved-in contortion of what it was before being crushed in by two werecats.
Nali keeps casting her healing spell, enveloping Ranma in a magical aura of yellowish white colored light. After a good half-hour of the constant healing spell, Ranma's body begins to form back to the way it was before. After another two minutes, the initial soreness that Ranma woke up with is gone. He flexes slightly, and smiles upon feeling no pain at all.
Nali: Better now?
Ranma: Yes. Thank you Nali.
Nali stops the healing spell, and the aura or light dissipates into nothingness. Britanny and Sheila look at Ranma.
Britanny: Feel better Ranchan?
Ranma: Yeah Britchan…
Britanny and Sheila then glomp onto either side of Ranma with Britanny to Ranma's right side and Sheila to his left side. Britanny then narrows her eyes and stares at Sheila.
Britanny: What are you doing!?
Sheila: Well, I'm showing Ranma that I'm glad he's okay, and congratulating him for beating Karia…
Britanny (Narrows eye further): … By glomping onto him?
Sheila (Smiles): Yeah! It's fun! You got a problem with that?
Britanny: Yes!
Britanny and Sheila start to growl slightly as they glare at each other. Ranma begins to sweat and slightly tremble as their grasp on him tightens and they get angrier… The Neko-Ken induced fear beginning to take over…
Ranma (Thinks): N, n, n, no like angry c, c, c, c, cats… Cats bad! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Ranma is 'saved' when a voice calls out and breaks the tension.
Female voice: Heh… The way you two are acting, Ranma must be the real 'lady-killer' to have you two wrapped around his pinky finger…
Ranma, Britanny, Sheila, and Nali look towards the entryway to the room. They see Karia standing against the door, her right arm in a sling, and a few bandages on her face and neck. Karia then walks up to Ranma as Britanny and Sheila get up from Ranma and place themselves between him and Karia.
Britanny: Listen you; if you want to hurt Ranchan, you'll have to go through me first!
Sheila: And that goes double for me!
Karia smirks and ignores the two werecats. She focuses her eyes on Ranma.
Karia (Waves with left hand): Hey Ranma…
Ranma: Um… Hi? Listen, I am sorry about your place… I didn't think my move would destroy it, honestly I didn't. I hope you're not mad…
Karia stares at Ranma for a second. She then breaks out into laughter. Ranma, Britanny, Sheila, and Nali stare at Karia in confusion.
Ranma: Um… Are you okay Karia?
After a minute, Karia gets control of herself.
Karia: Yeah. I'm fine. Look, I'm not upset or anything. I just came here to congratulate you on your victory if you were finally awake. (Mutters). Which you are… (Out loud). Anyway, it's been a long while since I've had such a good workout like that. You have my gratitude…
Ranma blinks in surprise. He then smiles in relief that Karia isn't angry at all.
Ranma: You're welcome Karia.
(-)
Ranma and Britanny begin packing their stuff, ready to head out. They've accomplished what they needed to do in Seer's Hamlet, and have to get a move on. Britanny asks a question as they begin getting everything together.
Britanny: Hey Ranchan…
Ranma: Yeah Britchan?
Britanny: Can we go to see the Edge Guard before we leave? I think we should say good-bye. They did help us with training after all…
Ranma thinks about it for a moment, and nods his head.
Ranma: Yeah… I think we could do that… Besides, I think they'll be glad to see us go… They will finally have a bit of peace to their lives again.
Britanny: Yeah… Well Ranchan, you can make my life chaotic anytime you want… (Seductive smile, winks). Puuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…
Ranma stares at Britanny, then blushes. He then puts all his concentration on packing. Britanny pouts slightly at this.
Britanny: Ranchan…
Ranma: Yeah Britchan?
Britanny: Do you find me sexy?
Ranma blanches with the question. Ranma's hair standing on end, and he seems to go into shock. Britanny gets slightly nervous.
Britanny: Ranchan?
Ranma calms himself down. He then turns to Britanny, with a sheepish smile on his face.
Ranma: Well Britchan… I think you're quite beautiful…
Britanny smiles. She begins to purr as she moves over to him…
Ranma: Um… Britchan…
Britanny moves her head over to Ranma, their faces just millimeters from each other…
Then Nali walks in…
Nali: Hey you two, there was something I wanted to ask…
Nali stops in mid-sentence. Ranma and Britanny turn to Nali. Ranma seems relieved, while Britanny frowns slightly.
Ranma: Um… What is it Nali?
Britanny: Yes, what is it you want to ask?
Nali then gathers her wits and begins to speak.
Nali: Well you two, Karia had an idea that would be beneficial to the both of you. It will make your journey on the East continent easier.
Ranma: Oh? What does she want us to do?
Nali: All I know is she wanted to have you meet her at the Edge Guard base in Seer's Hamlet. She wants to speak to you and the Edge Guard.
Ranma (Nods his head): We can do that. Britchan and I were going to go there anyways to give the Edge Guard our good-byes.
Nali: Okay. I'll give you some time to finish packing up first. Then you two can follow me, and we'll go to the Edge Guard base.
Ranma: Sounds fair.
Britanny: Hey, Nali.
Nali: Yes Britanny?
Britanny: Thanks for letting us stay here when we needed to.
Nali (Smiles): You two are welcome. It was fun having the company.
Ranma and Britanny then take a few moments to finish packing their stuff. Nali, seeing they're done begins to walk out, and Ranma and Britanny follow here
(-)
Karia sits outside the Edge Guard building, tapping her foot impatiently.
Karia (mutters): How long does it take to pack some back for Ares' sake!?
Karia's ear perks up as she hears a familiar set of footsteps in the distance. She turns around and sees Nali walking towards her with Ranma and Britanny following her.
Karia (Mutters): About damn time…
After a minute, Nali, Ranma and Britanny stop in front of Karia. Karia looks them over for a few seconds, ten shrugs her shoulders.
Karia: Follow me. I have something important to say to all of you.
Karia turns away from the group and walks into the Edge Guard base. Ranma and Britanny look to each other then walk in. Nali follows them in calmly.
(-)
Thropan sits quietly in the receiving room, playing his guitar. His new song he's currently writing is coming along quite nicely. He turns his head towards the doors of the entryway as the open. He looks on with curiosity as Karia walks in, her right arm still in a sling… At least the bandages on her face are now gone…
Thropan: Waves. Hey Karia.
Karia (Waves with left hand): Hey Thropan.
Thropan: What brings you here today Karia?
As if to answer his question, Ranma and Britanny then walk in through the doors, followed by Nali. Thropan smiles upon seeing them all.
Thropan: Hello Ranma. How are you feeling today?
Ranma: Much better than I was. Thanks for asking Thropan.
Thropan: Don't mention it. Say, you want to listen to a new song I'm writing?
Ranma: Um… Okay…
Thropan plucks his guitar strings, then start playing a charming melody. He sings with the music…
Thropan (Sings): Once there was a warrior, with splashes of water was both him and her…
Ranma blushes…
Thropan (Sings): He traveled with his lady fair, who was energetic she got in his hair…
Britanny (Blushes): I'm not that bad…
Thropan (Sings): He fought the man named master Leep, and took the pervert down that was a creep, he would travel the land by-and-by, on a quest he started though he doesn't know why. Oh, oh, the merriment… Oh, oh, the predicament… Oh, oh, Anything Goes, it certainly has it woes. He fought the huge troll-giant Brod, but easily beat him for the troll was a clod, he then one that heart of another so fair, who happens to be a jagwere… (Thinks: Sheila better appreciate me putting that in for her…)
Ranma blushes, Britanny grits her teeth, Nali blinks, and Karia starts to laugh. Thropan continues playing and singing.
Thropan (Sings): Oh, oh, the merriment… Oh, oh, the predicament… Oh, oh, Anything Goes, it certainly has it woes. Ranma he fought with our man Gar, who wanted dear Britanny but never got far, he fought with us all, and damn did we fall, but that is his way, he'll fight all the day. Oh, oh, the merriment… Oh, oh, the predicament… Oh, oh, Anything Goes, it certainly has it woes. The warrior then met with the Dark Elf, it was a battle between her and himself, she casted at him a bunch of her spells, but he beat her ass to the nine hells…
Karia: HEY!
Thropan (Sing): Oh, oh, the merriment… Oh, oh, the predicament… Oh, oh, Anything Goes, it certainly has it woes. The dark elf was truly beat, and boy the sight was neat, he had beaten up the Drow, and made her his personal ho, for the battle was quite a bloody mess, and the warrior with her would want rest, for the Dark Elf was dressed like quite a slut, and had such a nice shapely butt. Oh, oh, the merriment… Oh, oh, the predicament… Oh, oh, Anything Goes, it certainly has it woes…
Thropan stops playing, and looks up at them.
Thropan: What do you think?
Nali: It was nice Thropan.
Ranma: I think it was good…
Britanny: Could you please add a part of me getting it on with Ranchan? Please?
Ranma stares at Britanny.
Britanny: … Is anything wrong with wanting to do that?
Ranma mutters something unintelligible. Britanny smiles and kisses him on the nose, making Ranma blush a deep red coloring.
Karia grits her teeth and she glares murderously at Thropan.
Karia: Oh Thropan…
Thropan gulps as Karia takes a few steps forward.
Thropan (Trembles slightly): Y, y, yes?
Karia grabs Thropan's guitar, and smashes it over his head, making a loud 'ka-bong' sound as it impacts. Karia then leaves the frame of the guitar to hang around his neck like a necklace.
Karia: NOW STOP WASTING TIME AND GET THE OTHERS!
Thropan (Scared): Y, Y, Y, Y, YES MA'AM!
Thropan runs off into the building like a chicken with its head cut off, to go find the others.
Karia turns around and sees Ranma, Britanny, and Nali staring at her in shock.
Karia: … What? Do I have something on my face?
(-)
Finally, all the Edge Guard; Onoli, Thropan, (With guitar frame still around head) Tirga, Gar, and Sheila are gathered on one side of the Receiving room, while Karia, Ranma, Britanny, and Sheila stand on the other. Karia then moves between the two groups and begins to speak.
Karia: After doing a bit of investigation into what Ranma Saotome is doing here, and what he has done so far in Jade, I have come to a conclusion.
Tirga (Interrupts): NO! I WON'T LET YOU BECOME ONE OF HIS LADIES! I WANT TO HAVE FUN WITH YOU FIRST!
Everyone stares at Tirga for a moment. Karia narrows her eyes and gathers energy from the Etheral Stream.
Karia: LIGHTNING BOLT!
Karia then aims her right hand at Tirga and zaps him with a couple of thousand volts of electricity for about a minute. Tirga's charred body the slumps to the ground, smoke rising from his fur.
Onoli: Hey Tirga, are you all right?
Tirga (Charred, smoking): COUGH, HACK! I'm fine… Hey, Sheila…
Sheila: Yeah Tirga?
Tirga: Will you kiss my boo boo?
Sheila (Sweat-drops): Maybe later…
Tirga: Aw…
Gar then takes a step forward and 'accidentally' crushes Tirga's manhood under the heel of his foot.
Tirga: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETYOURFOOTOFFOFLITTLETIRGA!
All the others blink at Tirga's (luckily) unintelligible speech. Getting the 'gist' of it though, Gar takes his foot off of Tirga's burnt 'hotdog'…
Karia: Well, if I may continue?
Karia looks around, and sees that the others are now keeping quiet. She continues speaking.
Karia: Well, seeing as how Ranma and Britanny are going to continue their quest to be better fighters, and defeat all of the Weaponsmasters, I think they're going to need help. After all, Neither Ranma, nor Britanny really knows how to get around Jade. So I suggest that they make a request to the Edge Guard…
Onoli: You mean us?
Karia (Sarcastic): No! I meant the other Edge Guard that's comprised of five other werecats… OF COURSE I MEANT YOU GUYS!
Onoli (Raises hands defensively): Okay, okay… No reason to get all angry…
Karia (Mutters): Stupid werelion… (Out loud). Anyway, you guys, (points to Ranma and Britanny), should make a request to those idiots, (points to the Edge Guard) to use one of the soldiers as a guide.
Ranma: A guide?
Karia: Yeah. These guys were forced to learn all of the East Continent of jade like the back of their hands. They could easily lead you around… At least the East Continent anyway…
Ranma: True…
Britanny: Well, I guess we could do that. What do you think Ranchan?
Ranma: Sure, why not. (Looks at Onoli). Hey, can we use one of your guys?
Onoli: Sure… I do not see why not… With you out of town, things should go a bit more peacefully…
Ranma: … Ha ha… Very funny…
Gar, not wanting to miss having a chance to spend time with Britanny, raises his hand and waves it around frantically.
Gar: ME! PICK ME TO GO WITH THEM ONOLI! I'LL DO IT! I'LL BE THE BEST DAMN GUIDE THEY EVER HAD!
Onoli (Thinks for a moment before speaking): That's not that bad of a suggestion… You do have a lot of experience, like the time you were the torch bearer for Julia when she went to the Mior Swamp…
Karia (Interrupts): NO! I suggest they get to take along Sheila.
Ranma, Britanny, Nali, Sheila, Gar, Onoli, Tirga, & Thropan: HUH!?
Karia: Yeah. After all, Ranma still needs more practice with his weapons usage, and he has been practicing with Sheila all this while… And the fact that Sheila has been practicing a lot with Ranma and Britanny has been poking around in my mind as well… It makes me most certain that she should travel with Ranma and Britanny.
Sheila: Me?
Britanny: HER!?
Tirga: NO! WHY MUST SHE GO!? I WAS ALMOST READY TO GET HER IN THE SACK!
All of the others stare at Tirga for a minute. Gar frowns then smacks Tirga in the back of the head. Hard!
Tirga: OW! Dammit Gar, that really hurt!
Karia: Thank you.
Gar: Don't mention it.
Ranma: Please continue Karia… I want to hear what you have to say…
Karia: Well… Ranma, Sheila… I want you two do exactly as I say. The rest of you, give them room…
The others move away from Ranma and Sheila.
Karia: Okay, I want the rest of you to watch them. Ranma, Sheila… Throw a right punch!
Ranma and Sheila throw right punch.
Karia: Left cross!
Ranma and Sheila throw a left cross.
Karia: Right roundhouse kick!
Ranma and Sheila do a right roundhouse kick
Karia: Flip-kick!
Ranma and Sheila do a flip kick.
Karia: Roll backwards!
Ranma and Sheila tuck into a roll and roll back.
Karia: There… Now did any of you notice anything odd?
Nali: No.
Onoli: Not at all.
Gar: My sister's a tomboy?
Sheila: HEY!
Gar: Well, you are…
Thropan: Not really…
Tirga: That Sheila's got a nice, firm ass…
All the other stare at Tirga.
Tirga: … What?
Gar smacks Tirga in the back of the head again. Much harder this time too…
Tirga: OW! DAMMIT GAR! THAT REALLT HURTS!
Gar: Then I'm getting my point across…
Britanny: Well… If anything, Sheila's form was almost exactly like Ranchan and me… (Eyes widen). Uh oh…
Karia: Well I guess you notice it Britanny…
Ranma: Notice what?
Sheila: Yeah. What gives?
Karia (Smirks): Well, from all your sparring sessions… It looks as though Sheila has started to unintentionally pick up on the Anything Goes style…
Sheila: HUH!? But, I never even tried…
Karia: That's why I say unintentional… I'm willing to bet it came from watching your brother Gar, who is a student of Anything Goes fight for years, and sparring with Ranma, who, by the mark on the back of his gi top is Grandmaster of Anything Goes…
Onoli, Tirga, Sheila, Gar, Thropan, & Nali: GRANDMASTER!?
Ranma: Yeah… Didn't I ever tell you guys?
Onoli, Tirga, Sheila, Gar, Thropan, & Nali: NO!
The force behind their words pushes Ranma onto his back. Karia chuckles slightly…
Karia: Anyway, to my point. You've been teaching her the Anything Goes style Ranma… You may not have meant to, but you have… And I really think you should continue teaching her… She has some great potential, and it would be a shame to see it wasted here… So, what do you say? Want to take Sheila on as your first 'official' student now that you're the Grandmaster?
Ranma: Um… I guess I should…
Britanny: WHAT!?
Ranma: Well Britchan, It's kind of the reason you came along on my quest with me… I had started teaching you what I knew of Anything Goes when I wasn't supposed to… And now, it seems I've done it with Sheila… So I should do as Master Julia says… I should keep on training Sheila, since it's not right for a teacher to stop teaching the student half-way through the study…
Britanny: Shoot… The one time you listen to mom…
All the others start laughing at Britanny. Karia then moves over to Onoli.
Karia: So, Onoli. Will you let her go on this training journey or what?
Onoli: I would, but Edge Guard aren't supposed to be on break for extended periods of time… (Eyes widen). Wait… I have an idea… (Turns to Sheila). Sheila!
Sheila: Yes Onoli?
Onoli: I'm giving you a mission! I want you to act as a bodyguard and guide for the daughter of our Armsmaster Julia Brigand-Diggers! Do I make myself clear?
Sheila (Smiles): YESSIR!
Onoli: Good. I suggest you take some time and start packing your stuff. You're going on a journey!
Sheila: YEAH!
Sheila runs up stairs, and in record time, comes back down with a huge backpack filled with clothing, a tent, cooking utensils, survival gear, first-aid kit, and foodstuffs.
Sheila (Smile): Ready! (Thinks: YES! I'M GONNA BE WITH RANCHAN!)
Ranma (Blinks): That was fast… (Thinks: Why am I getting a sinking feeling about this?)
Britanny: Well, welcome to the club Sheila… (Thinks: But don't try making a move on my Ranchan! I love him and won't let you take him!)
Tirga: Hey Sheila! Before you go…
Sheila: What is it?
Tirga kneels down in front of Sheila, and takes her hand in his.
Tirga: I want you to come back to me when you're done training. I love you with all my heart. And each passing day will feel like an eternity to me without you… So please… Come back soon to me, my dear, sweet love-f-my-life…
Sheila (Misty-eyed): Aw Tirga… I love you too…
Sheila hugs Tirga as the other's stare. Some however, are not fooled by Tirga's performance.
Karia, Gar, Thropan, & Onoli (Making coughing motions): Cough, cough, BULLSHIT, cough, cough, BULLSHIT, cough, cough, BULLSHIT, cough, cough, cough, cough…
Tirga (Sweat-drops, mutters): Jerks…
(-)
So Ranma and Britanny continue their adventure with Sheila leading the way. Karia stands by the construction site of her new home (which will be on ground level).
Karia: heh… I can't help but laugh… It's like a pride of cats with those three… A pride of cats that consists of a werecheetah, a werejaguar, and a Neko-Ken fighter, but a pride nonetheless. And if my friend Julia has taken Ranma as her student for the reason I think she has… (Smiles wickedly). Ranma is going to have his hands full… Especially if one certain aspect of 'that' legend is true…
So the next bit of travel takes Ranma, Britanny, and Sheila to the North. After all, Sheila knows the last two Weaponsmasters of the East Continent are in the northern section, but… Their specific locations are unknown. One is always traveling around in the North and the other's village is a secret in its location.
However, from the shadows the great Sabbo watches.
Sabbo: Yes… Soon… Soon my children… Soon all will come full-circle… Hey… Is it raining?
Sabbo looks up, but sees not a cloud in the sky. He then, looks down to see a dog whizzing on his leg.
Sabbo: … Damn dogs…
(-)
End Chapter 18
Next Time: Ranma, Britanny, and Sheila continue their journey… But what's this with an old man watching Ranma from the Shadows? … AND BRITANNY KNOWS THE FOURTH WEAPONSMASTER!?
-This is RedPriest17, signing off.
Send your questions and comments to Ryutsurugi
Note: Flames will be read and then used as lining for Charlotte's birdcage.