A/N - Disclaimer, i dont own SB! of course...

Chapter 7 - Nightmares

The next morning Ren awoke with Kyoko still nestled in his arms, her body stretched long and pressed close to his as if searching for something unknown. The tears had stopped, but she clung to Ren subconsciously, as if grasping for something solid in what he assumed was a black abyss. He continued to hold her against him, kissing her head as her continuing whimpers rose in insistency, then started finally started to quiet, replaced by her ragged and still labored breathing. The nightmares that haunted the girl seemed to be keeping her trapped in a state of terror.

Ren smoothed her hair and kissed her forehead, then gently placed his lips on hers. He wished that he could do something for her. Seeing Kyoko like this made his heart hurt terribly. He closed his eyes and held her close to him, trying to comfort her with his own sturdy certainty.

He wasn't sure how long the two of them lay like that; it could have been hours, or mere minutes. Kyoko's nightmares seemed to fluctuate in a chilling manner. Sometimes she whimpered and shivered uncontrollably, grasping at his shirt as if for dear life. At other points she would just huddle into him with an unwavering strength, breathing fast and labored. At some other points she would relax against him, exhausted from the dreams that plagued her.

Ren heard many footsteps enter the room, and opened his eyes, not moving his head from where it rested on Kyoko's. The three men entered and stood on the opposite side of the bed, so that Ren could see them clearly. Lory and Yashiro looked at Ren, worry etched deep in their eyes. He gave a weak smile in answer to their unasked question. He knew they were worried about him, for he had not left Kyoko's side since she was brought into the hospital three days earlier, but he didn't care. He could tell that Kyoko was fighting her way back to him, and she needed all the support he could give her, even if she didn't know he was there. She had started breathing on her own again, and now it was only a matter of time until she woke up.

The director silently held up a newspaper so that he could read the headline. It was the front page of the paper from the day before. "Actress Attacked by Angry Fans" the headlines said. The subheading read "popular actress from the show 'Dark Moon'; Kyoko, still in a coma from an attack outside a studio yesterday." Ren looked down sadly at the girl in his arms. Tears fell on her hair when he caught the headline of a smaller article. "Director for show "Box 'R'" declared it to do be postponed indefinitely following attack of one of the lead actors."

Ren looked up at the director, grateful for his understanding and flexibility for Kyoko's recovery. He didn't know what to say, which was a first for him as Ren Tsuruga. He felt Kyoko start to tremble in his arms again and looked down at the petite girl, crying against him. He held her close against him once more, looking up at Yashiro and Lory as if to tell them that this was the reason he wouldn't leave her side. All three looked confused and concerned.

"It started last night" He said tenderly watching her. "At around the same time she started to breath on her own." He looked at her lovingly. "I can't leave her to fight this battle alone. No, I won't leave her. She has faced enough alone, she doesn't need to do this alone too." Yashiro looked at Ren gently with something close to pity in his eyes.

"She doesn't even know you are there, Ren." He said softly watching the girl tremble in Ren's arms.

"I think she does." Said Lory also watching her. "She just may not know it is Ren, or how to reach him, but she definitely knows that he is there." Lory seemed less perturbed, and more interested in what he was seeing. There was some concern behind his eyes, but it was fascination and curiosity that was the main focus of his gaze. "Yashiro, look how she grasps at Ren's chest. She clutches him as if she is afraid to let go. She definitely knows something or someone is there. I believe that she is using the strength Ren is providing to help guide her through whatever labyrinth she is currently trapped in within her mind." Yashiro and Shinozuke looked at Lory in amazement. "I was a psychology major in university." He explained easily with a shrug. Ren seemed the least surprised by this news of Kyoko's plight. It was a fact he had been sensing from her since the night before.

"Is there any way to help her wake up?" Ren asked watching the trembling girl in his arms. Lory shook his head sadly.

"There is nothing more you can do" Lory said gently. "All you can do is support her, this is a fight she has to finish herself." Lory knew it wasn't what Ren wanted to hear, but it was the truth.

Yashiro reached down and put a hand on Ren's shoulder. "You can't help her if you pass out from malnutrition" he said, slightly gingerly. He spotted the bag of uneaten onigiri he bought for Ren the day before. "When was the last time you ate?" Ren shrugged his free shoulder. He didn't want to eat anything that Kyoko hadn't made for him. "You need to eat." Yashiro said with a stern edge to his soft voice. Yashiro left to go back to the convenience store down the street from the hospital. He returned ten minutes later to find Ren in the same position holding a now motionless Kyoko, but the president and director had left. He sat down in a chair looking at Ren's horizontal figure, unwrapped one of the fresh rice balls he bought, and passed it to his charge. Begrudgingly Ren took the snack, glad Yashiro didn't get him anything that needed to be eaten sitting up. Ren assumed that his manager knew that Ren would just refuse the food if it caused him to have to leave Kyoko. "I am not leaving until you eat at least two of the onigiri I bought you." Yashiro said to the young man. "I know you don't care about your own health, but I do, and Kyoko does too."

Ren glared at Yashiro for a moment, resenting the man for bringing the one he loved, who was currently in his arms, into the conversation. But then he looked at her, and nodded. He knew that Yashiro was right, of course. And at least Yashiro hadn't suggested he go back home again. He had slept the night before, so that wasn't an issue, but he wouldn't leave to go eat. Just as Ren finished the first onigiri, Kyoko started to quake once more. Her sobs were harder than they had been since the night before and her whole body was shaking violently.

Yashiro watched as Ren held the clearly terrified girl to him, hugging her tenderly, but firmly in his strong arms. He put one large hand on her head as she buried it in his chest. Yashiro saw her legs curl up under her, clearly trying to make herself as small as possible. "shh, its ok Kyoko" Ren whispered in her ear softly and with more tenderness in his voice than Yashiro had ever heard before. "Everything is ok, I am here, Shhh, I'm here." The agent could hardly believe what he was seeing. Kyoko's quivers gradually stopped, and her body relaxed, even more slowly. Her breathing still sounded choked with sobs, but it too was starting to ease. Ren did seem to have some sort of soothing effect on the girl. When Kyoko's sobs finally ceased completely Ren looked at Yashiro. Yashiro understood now why the young man wouldn't leave her. He did seem to have a soothing effect on her nightmares. Yashiro sighed and unwrapped the other rice ball. Ren ate what the older man offered him but the two onigiri didn't fill the whole that had been growing within him each moment that Kyoko stayed asleep. He wasn't sure what he would do if she slipped so deep into the web within her mind that she never awoke.

Yashiro got up and went to the door, looking back at the pair. "She loves me, Yashiro," Ren said to the retreating figure, looking at the older man with silent tears running down his cheeks. "How can I leave her like this now that I know that she loves me too?" Ren went back to the girl he loved who remained pressed against him. Yashiro hung his head in defeat, and left the room.

/\

Kyoko didn't know how long she lay static in the midst of the warm blankets atop the bed. She opened her eyes and felt a comforting pressure around her. She clutched at it, trying to pull it closer, find whatever it was she was using for such comfort. She looked around and found that she was still in the sterile white room where she started. She got up and looked around, after a moment's hesitation, she realized that she had no idea where she was. The place that she thought was a room, didn't seem to be anything at all. It was a sterile white, but instead of walls, there was just more white, going on forever.

Kyoko ran. She needed to find an escape. She kept running for as long as she could. She didn't know how long she continued to move. There were no clocks, no sun, nothing in which to tell the passage of time. There wasn't anything anywhere to tell the passage of distance either. She was running within a white abyss that didn't change no matter where she looked.

If she had to guess she would say it had been two hours since she started running when she finally saw something. A familiar figure was walking away from her. As she grew closer she noticed that she was gaining fewer and fewer feet on the figure in front of her. She looked down to see that she had small chubby legs. The figure in front of her seemed more menacing now. "Mother?" Kyoko asked quietly. The figure didn't turn, but there was a pause, which told Kyoko that her hunch had been right. "MOTHER" she yelled in a small child's voice. She was five again, and her mother was abandoning her without an explanation. She whimpered slightly before breaking out into full sobs. She curled up and trembled, wanting her mother. Strong invisible arms held her to something she could not see.

Her sobs waned in the grip of the invisible arms, and finally she relaxed enough where she could stand and continue on her way. However, when she stood, the abyss she was in was different. She found herself in black. The only thing she could see was a small light that looked far, far away. She walked towards it slowly, cautiously, afraid of what could possibly be lit.

The worst moments of her life were being highlighted to her, one after another, and she didn't know how much more she would be able to take. She decided that it would be a terrible idea to go into the light. She started to look around, searching for another way out. She was determined not to go into the light. She turned her back on it and ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction. Soon a light started growing clearer in the distance. She shook her head; no, she wasn't going to let it catch her. She turned around again and started running again. When all she could see was black, she turned ninety degrees to the left, and ran that way. Her breathing became ragged as she continued to run. The light came into the distance, just able to be seen through the all consuming black, she turned around completely once more and ran again, as fast as she could. She kept running, and nothing came into sight. She grinned happily and ran faster into the black. As soon as she picked up her pace she saw a light coming out of the black around her. She cried out in frustration and fell to the ground in a heap. Tears were flowing freely again and she didn't try to stop them. She was trapped. She knew it. She had nowhere left to go, there was no way out. She let her frustration flow out of her with her tears. She didn't know where to turn.

The grip that had loosened around her tightened once more and she clutched gratefully at the fabric she felt against her cheek, grabbing it and not letting go. Whatever this comforting force was around her, she didn't want to leave it. She wanted to hole up here forever, not face her memories, or the aches that her body was still feeling, and she definitely could not face the torture she had endured again, for the fourth time since entering this place. Every time it was the same, she saw things happen to her body as if disconnected to it, but still felt everything.

She kept calling for Ren but he hadn't come for her. He left her to be raped and tortured, over, and over again. Even if she did see him again she didn't know how she would face him. After everything that had happened, would he ever look at her the same way?

Her sobs subsided, and she sat up. She found herself in Ren's apartment. "Ren?" she looked around large and familiar home. She heard someone giggle. "Ren?" she said again, making her way into the kitchen. Ren was sitting at the table, smiling, there was a woman in his kitchen. She had long light brown hair, she was tall, thin and lovely. The woman set down a plate in front of the actor. "Here you go, darling" she said, giving Ren a swift kiss on the lips. She set her own plate next to his and sat down next to him.

He took a bite and looked at the woman with joy in his eyes. "It's delicious, love." He said to her, "The best I have ever eaten". Kyoko felt like her heart was being pulled from her chest.

"Ren?" she asked quietly, not wanting to believe what she saw. Ren didn't look at her.

The woman took Ren's hand and led him over to the couch. She was much taller than Kyoko was, Kyoko thought dully. The woman looked good with Ren, she had to admit to herself. She looked older than Kyoko was, and looked much more sophisticated.

The woman sat Ren on the couch and straddled his hips, her skirt bunching up by her thighs. Kyoko hated to see the smile on Ren's features as the strange woman unbuttoned her blouse, and then started to unbutton Ren's shirt kissing his chest at every button. She reached his belt and Ren let out a groan. "I bet she never did this for you" the woman said sweetly, unzipping his trousers and pulling his hardened member from his boxers. She took him in her mouth and started evoking moans of pleasure from the man Kyoko loved.

"No…" Ren said in a strangled voice. Then he stared straight at the still watching Kyoko, "She wasn't worth someone like me," He said without a waver in his voice.

"Ren?" Kyoko said in a small voice. The woman finished with her mouth and continued stroking Ren with one hand while with the other she reached under her skirt to do something Kyoko couldn't see. "What about me?" the woman said, moving up his hips to a specific spot and lowering herself down slowly. They both let out a moan of pleasure and she started raising and lowering her hips, while pressing her bare chest against his.

"Oh, yes. Yes. Yes!" he panted, his hips coming to meet hers. "Kyoko is nothing to you." He pressed his lips against the woman's in a deep sensual kiss.

There were tears flowing down Kyoko's cheeks now. "NO, NO, NO!" she yelled running out of the room where Ren and the unknown woman were having sex. She ran out of the apartment door and found herself face to face with Ren. "Why?" she asked, shaking violently with sobs. "Why her? Why not me?" Ren gave her the cool look she knew so well. He was angry.

"Why not YOU?" he asked with the cold smile still in place. "You, are worthless, you are just a third rate actress, doing third rate jobs. You will never measure up to the likes of me. Your parents didn't even want you, why would I?" Kyoko fell against him, sobbing her heart out. He pushed her off of him and she fell to the ground, still crying. He was saying everything she most feared. Her mother didn't love her, Sho only used her, and now Ren had only been playing with her. "Who do you have to wake up to?" his voice turned into Sho's "Ren ditched you, and I never wanted you, why even wake up? Why stay alive?"

The voices in hear head made her tremble and quake on the ground, tears soaked her skin through her clothes. The arms around her, which had momentarily let her go, gripped her fiercely again. "Shh," a familiar voice said from nowhere, "It's ok Kyoko." She felt her head against something soft, and buried her head in it. "Everything is ok, I am here. Shhh, I am here," said the voice.

"Wake up, Kyoko. It's time to wake up now." It took Kyoko quite some time to calm down this time, but almost as soon as she started to relax and was about to get up again she heard the disembodied voice once more. Wake up? This confused her. She was awake wasn't she? Then she remembered Sho saying that no one wanted her to wake up. Was she asleep?

She looked around. The place she was in was a colorless gray abyss once more. She turned to her right. There was a white door with bright blue light coming from the cracks around the door. She looked to her left there was another white door with a deep red light coming from it's cracks. She didn't know which door to choose. She sat down on the floor and put her head in her hands.

She didn't know what to do. Should she go back? Or should she stay? Should she try the other door? Was Sho right? Did anyone want her to wake up? She thought of Alice, and Moko, and Sagawara, and Shinozuke, and Rumi, and Honomi, and Yuka, and Chiori, and Lory, and Yashiro, and Ren. She thought of Ren. Even if he didn't want to see her again, she wanted to see him again, that was for sure. Even if he wanted to have nothing to do with her, even if she had to find a different way to die when realizing Ren does not, in fact, love her. She didn't care. She had to see him once more. She got up, turned to her right and opened the white door. She stepped through the blue light.

She opened heavy eyes and saw a figure lying beside her. "Ren?"

A/N - so? ok, so super depressing one this time, i know, but we are getting closer!

Thank you to everyone who as reviewed, and to everyone who has followed and/or Favorited! and thank you to everyone who has read this far! you guys are all awesome.

Translations -

Onigiri - A riceball often triangular. normally have some sort of filling - super nummy

i think that is it for translations for today