A/N - you all know of course, that i do not own skip beat! if i did Ren and Kyoko would have gotten together by now...

Chapter 8 - Guilt

Ren heard his name said in a voice he longed to hear and woke up instantly. He looked down to the girl in his arms and saw her stirring in a different manner than she had before. He released her to get a better view of her and saw that her eyes were blinking slowly with sleep, and her head was attempting to look up to his. He could also tell that every move she made caused her great pain. He smiled fully for the first time since the morning they had parted, and felt relief wash over him.

"Don't try to speak," he said, forestalling the questions he knew she was about to ask. "There will be time for questions, but not now." He held her head with one hand and kissed her tenderly on the lips. "I love you, Kyoko" he said as he pulled away and settled back against the pillow, "and I will be here when you wake up again. So why don't you get some more rest." She smiled and nodded at him, eyes already closing again. Her head rested against his chest and she slipped back into a sleep that was more restful and peaceful than any she had experienced in the past four days.

When she awoke again she found that she was slightly more alert this time. She blinked a few times and looked up, seeing Ren's sleeping face beside her, hair covering his face. She reached up with one arm to brush hair back from his face and saw a tube going into her arm. She leaned up and kissed his thin relaxed lips, closing her eyes, and running one thin hand down his cheek. She felt the arms around her hug her tighter and felt the lips she was kissing return the kiss passionately. She felt him pull away and opened her eyes. He was looking at her, smiling. "Not too much right now love," he said gently. "I don't want to get carried away while you are in no condition." She nodded and rested her head against his chest again, listening to his breathing. She felt a rumble in the large chest and looked up to see that he was chuckling. "Comfortable?" he asked her, meeting her eyes. She nodded into his chest. She lay there with her head on his chest, closing her eyes and relaxing into the rhythm of his breathing.

The next thing she knew Ren was hushing someone who apparently had entered the room. "She is sleeping." He said so softly that she could barely hear him. She heard another familiar voice who wasn't keeping the volume of his words. "Ren, she has been sleeping for five days, that doesn't mean you shouldn't eat."

"Yashiro?" she said quietly into Ren's chest. She felt Ren sigh. She looked up to see Ren's eyes glare at someone she couldn't see. She tried to turn her head, but found it painful. She tried to roll onto her back but let out a small gasp of pain.

"Kyoko?" Ren looked at her worried. He watched her struggle to move. "What are you trying to do?"

"Yashiro," She said again, voice raspy from disuse, and tears in her eyes from frustration and pain. Ren sighed and helped Kyoko onto her back. When he was done her eyes closed by themselves. She seemed to be exhausted from exertion of the small movement. Her breathing was still rather shallow and labored. She fell into a light sleep, her head trying desperately to reach Ren's chest again, which was now too painful to reach. Noticing this, Ren rearranged himself so that his arm was under her head instead, his free arm still holding her close to him.

"She is awake." Yashiro said quietly now, almost completely dumfounded. Ren nodded, trying not to wake the sleeping girl.

"She woke up last night after you left. She nearly immediately fell asleep again. This is the second time she has woken up since then." Ren explained. He kissed her lips gently, smiling "She is starting to recover." He said happily.

Kyoko's eyes fluttered open and she looked around as best as she could. She was lying nearly completely flat so it was difficult to see anything around her. Especially since her head still wouldn't move very well. "Yashiro," she said again hoarsely.

Yashiro came into her field of vision, looking extraordinarily relieved. "How are you feeling, Kyoko?" he asked her gently. She moaned in response and started to say something else.

"Now is not the time," Ren said, forestalling her questions again. "You will know what happened, but not yet" He shot Yashiro a look that clearly said 'she doesn't need to know now, don't you dare tell her' and then looked back at Kyoko, with a loving look in his eyes.

Yashiro got the hint. "That's right, Kyoko," He said "Let your body heal some more before taking on the burden of the truth." His tone was light, but there was a stern and gentle look in his gaze that clearly told her not to push. She nodded and tried to curl up into the position she had been in before, tucked against Ren. The man tried to help as gently as he could and when she was back in her original position, she was so exhausted again that she immediately fell back asleep.

A few hours later a nurse came by. She told Ren that she didn't mind the two sharing the bed, in fact she was watching and he seemed to help her out a lot, but every so often they needed to change positions. When Ren switched to the other side of Kyoko she awakened, and gave a cry of protest when they tried to turn her to her other side. When they finally managed to get her up against Ren on the opposite side, she slithered closer to him, whimpering from pain. He stroked her head and tenderly caressed her back until the cries stopped and she fell into a deep sleep.

She slept the entire next day, scenes of her dream replaying in her mind; Ren having sex with the unknown woman. Ren telling her that she would never be good enough for him. Ren, telling her that she was worthless. Sho, telling her that it would be better if she never woke up at all. She awoke with a start, her mind clearer than it had been since the accident. She knew what had happened and she felt dirty and violated. She still had her head pressed up against something warm. She looked up to see Ren's sleeping face and felt a stabbing pain in her heart. She pushed him away, ignoring the pain and turning over so her back was to him. She curled up into a ball again, resting her head on her drawn-up knees.

Ren woke up to small hands pushing him away. Kyoko was in a ball, hugging her knees to her chest as if for dear life, her body quaking with sobs. "Kyoko?" he asked quietly, placing a large hand gently on one of her shivering shoulders. "What happened?" she flinched away from him, trying to make herself as small as she could, and get as far away from him as she could. Ren pulled his hand away from the quivering girl. "Kyoko, did I do something?" he asked cautiously, wondering what on earth he could have done.

He heard a small voice whispering "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, " to herself over and over. At that moment Yashiro came in for his daily visit. He was a little later than usual because no one told him that Kyoko had been moved out of the ICU. He had to go back to the front desk and ask where she happened to be.

Yashiro looked at the terrified girl in surprise. "Did you do something, Ren?" he asked bewildered. Ren sat up and shrugged, equally nonplussed. Yashiro knelt down beside the bed and put his hand on her shoulder. "What happened, Kyoko?" he asked her gently, "What's wrong?" Kyoko's red watery eyes met his eyes for a moment, then she shook her head still muttering her two word mantra. 'I'm sorry'.

Kanae entered at then, having heard that Kyoko had woken up. She looked at the sobbing girl for a moment, then glared at Ren, who was still sitting up in bed next to her. "What did you do to her?!" she said storming over to the broad-chested man and grabbing his shirt. "Why is she crying like this."

Ren glared at Kanae in reproach. "I didn't do anything, ok?" he said defensively. "I was holding her, like I had been since her nightmares started, when suddenly she woke up and pushed me away." He looked at Lory, who had appeared in the doorway behind Kanae.

"Hmm," the president said pensively watching the girl for a moment. "She doesn't seem to be angry at you." The other three looked at him in surprise. "Listen to what she is saying. 'I'm sorry'. " They all paused for a moment, listening to the weeping girl's repeated apologies. "I think she may feel ashamed of something. You said she woke up initially two days ago, right?" Ren nodded. "It is possible that she remembers what happened. She could also have been having nightmares relating to you, Ren." Ren and Yashiro exchanged horrified looks.

"What do you mean, nightmares relating to me?" He asked Lory reproachfully.

Lory addressed Ren. "You are her most important person, Ren" he said, calmly, "Given what I know of her personality, it may be that her subconscious gave her reason to believe that you would not want to be with her now that this happened and gave her a nightmare to that effect."

Kanae still didn't seem to understand.

"But why would the attack make her ashamed?" Kanae asked angrily. " Or make Ren think less of her? She didn't do anything wrong!" Ren looked at the president in surprise.

"Didn't you tell her?" Ren asked the older man in disbelief.

"Given the fragility of the situation," Lory replied without emotion "I thought it would better not to, previously that is"

Kanae was getting angry again. "Tell me WHAT?" she said, nearly yelling the last word.

Ren looked squarely at Kanae for a moment before looking back at Kyoko with a tender expression in his eyes. "Kyoko was raped during that attack" He said softly, with sorrow evident in his voice. "Multiple times"

Kanae looked down at her friend who was still sobbing in distress with a new expression on her face. It seemed like a mix between pity, sorrow, and fury. "How could someone do something like that to someone so innocent?" She asked angrily.

'RINNGG!' Kanae, Ren and Yashiro all looked around at Lory. He looked at them in confusion for a moment 'RINNGG!' "Oh," he said, realizing why they were staring at him. He took out his custom cell phone and flipped it open. "Moshi, Moshi" he said. "un….uuhn…un…." he hung up the phone. Everyone continued to stare at him. He turned on the TV to a news channel for celebrities.

"This just in," said the news woman cheerfully, "A group of women of all ages admitted to the attack of actress Kyoko" the shot switched to a random selection of about two dozen women, the youngest looked like they were in their mid teens, and the oldest well into middle age. The woman in front who was speaking looked in her early twenties and she wore a contemptuous look on her face.

"Yes, that is correct." She said proudly "We are responsible for the attack and murder of that slut of an actress." The smirk she wore was echoed throughout the group of women. "Why?" She asked to the reporter's unheard question. "Do you see the characters she plays? No one can play those types of roles if they weren't that way already, and no one like that deserves to be with someone as good as Tsuruga-san. Besides, she is a slut, if you don't believe me, look at her." The reporter said something indistinct once more. "Well, she let six guys have their way with her that day alone, knowing we were all watching. She just stripped and fucked them each individually. It was only after that we attacked her. We couldn't let some slut like that take our Ren-chan away." The girl's smirk became more prominent with every lie she told. "There is also the delightful fact that she says explicitly that she is a slut. I mean, it is written on her!" She and her friends howled with laughter.

Lory turned off the TV with a growl. "Lies," said Ren from the bed. "All of them."

Kyoko shook her head and tried to sit up. She gasped in pain, and tears started falling faster than before. Ren, who had decided not to try touching her again, still wanted to help, so he raised the head of the bed so she was lying on the bed, but still raised enough to see everyone. "Its true." She said sobbing. "But I didn't want to! They tied me down and put a bag over my head. I didn't even know what was happening, just that it was really painful." She was wailing now. "Please don't hate me Ren!" She said, not looking at him. "I… I know I am not… not worth it, I…I know you would ha…ve been happier if I di…didn't wake up b…ut-" Kyoko's stammers cut off when Ren pressed his lips to hers.

"There is nothing for you to be sorry for," he said, pressing his forehead to hers. "You are not to blame, I know you didn't do anything wrong." He kissed her again, "I was overjoyed when you woke up, I cannot imagine being without you." He kissed each tear stained cheek in turn. "I would have been a mess if you had died." He kissed her forehead. "I love you, Kyoko." He said, kissing her on the lips once more.

A/N - so you asked for it, Happy! but is it the end? wait and see. (i am considering doing something incredibly evil...)

Thank you everyone for your support, and your reviews and your favorites! i get warm and fuzzy inside every time i get one ^^

Translations -

Moshi Moshi - used when you answer the telephone

un - its the super informal way of saying yes - just kind of a grunt. used often on the phone

uuhn - no - also super informal. see above for more details.

ummm... i think that is it

tata for now!