If you meet someone who looks, acts, and talk like he's mad – trust him

After catching my breath again, I started looking around, searching desperately after some indication to where I was. But after a while, I realized I was now more lost than ever.

"Stupid talking squirrel!", I muttered under my breath, as I began to make my way through the foliage, feeling more than ever like an adventurer discovering an unknown jungle – and not in a good way.

More in the "why didn't I just stay at home"-way.

How lost is it even possible to be in this forest? I don't remember it being this big, I wondered.

Suddenly I heard a noise nearby, maybe a twig snapping, that I knew I hadn't made myself. I immediately froze, listening anxiously after more noises, trying not to imagine what it could possibly be.

Oh no, it's a bear, or even worse – a mountain lion, or a wolf…never mind the fact that they don't live in the wild right here…but they could be escaped from a zoo…or a circus

I was so engrossed in the imaginary dangers, that I almost missed the distant sound of footsteps coming closer.

"Please let it be someone who can help", I muttered, before spinning around to face my new companion. But nothing could have prepared me for the sight.

It was a man – or kind of a man. He didn't look very tall, but maybe it was the enormous stack of hats he wore, that made him seem smaller. I was also slightly distracted by the fact that his clothes were a strange mismatch of red dots and blue stripes, not to mention his eyes had a strange glow that made him seem quite intense, and rather crazy.

"Who are you?" I asked, when I had recovered from the shock.

"Who am I?" he answered, "the real question here is: who are you?"

"I asked you first", I said stubbornly.

"Who I am is of little importance… and by the way I am not sure who I am, but I know what I am and that is the grandest thing in the universe."

"Oookayyy", I said, not sure of what to make of that strange speech.

"And what I am, is what most people wish they were, had they dared to formulate the thought", he continued on, completely unfazed by my lack of response, "and if they did, the world would start partly spinning and falling apart by the sheer amount of acknowledgements."

At about that point I started to zone out of his ramblings, not that he seemed to notice at all.

Okay, this is weird, this is really weird. Is he even for real? How do I know that I am not just hallucinating again? There is only one way to find out…

And then I did the only thing I could think of – I pinched him.

"Ow", he cried, "That was completely uncalled for."

"Sorry", I said, "just checking if you were real."

"And why on earth wouldn't I be real?" he asked indignantly.

"Well, you've got to admit, that you look a little…ehm… mad", I said quietly, trying not to offend him too much.

"Well of course I do", he answered, all cheerful again, "I am as mad as they come. But allow me then to observe that you must be mad as well, as you are the one who is dressed like a boy."

"I am not", I stated, looking down at my T-shirt and jeans, "it is perfectly normal for girls to be dressed like this."

"I would beg to differ, but as I am mad, my opinion would never convince let us not argue. I hate quarrels. As a peace offering let me accompany you to town, I have an important meeting with the king, and I am sure he would be delighted to meet my new mad friend."

"I AM NOT MAD", I yelled at him, "and if you think I am going to trust you to take me anywhere, then you must be even madder than I thought", I finished furiously.

"Well then, a good day to you too", he said, trying to tip his hats, which resulted in him dropping them all to the ground. He frantically placed them all on top of his head again, before walking away from me.

I stood there a while, just staring after him.

Was he even for real? I know he exists because I pinched him, but still…this day just keeps on getting weirder. Maybe I should have gone with him, mad or not. It's not like I can get anymore lost than I am already. Only more confused.

And the strangeness was only just getting started.