So… How long has it been since I updated this story? A year? Two years? Anyways, I'm updating now and I'm sorry that I'm so late, but I was out of ideas. This chapter is very short, but it's kind of an introduction to the rest of the story. I'll try to update soon.
Spencer's POV
I finished going downstairs and stopped in the last step to watch the scene in front of me. Toby and Jason were talking to my dad while the girls stood there talking with their boyfriends. They seemed happy which surprised me because –A was still around. Or weren't they? I haven't talked to them or seen them in so long that it feels weird seeing them in my house. It is almost as if we are strangers, not old best friends. I don't know what I am supposed to do, if I should call their attention or just wait until they notice.
Emily suddenly stops talking to Paige and her eyes lock into mine. Her face shows her surprise at seeing me and she notices the many changes I have. It's almost as if she doesn't recognize me. I stand there suddenly feeling uncomfortable and the other girls also look at me. Toby and Jason still talk to my parents and I'm glad that they haven't looked yet, because I don't think that I'm ready to look into the love of my life's eyes and see only hatred or fear.
We stay in silence for a few minutes and I try to avoid their eyes as they keep staring at me. Hanna is the first one to break the awkward silence.
"Spencer? Is that you?" She asks. It's not what I was expecting her to say. I know that I have changed a lot, but I wouldn't expect her not to recognize me. Even though I'm thinner, paler and my eyes have horrible dark circles under them, I am still the same Spencer they have always known.
"Yes." I say weekly and they just keep staring at me. Upon hearing my voice, Toby turns away from my parents and his beautiful ocean eyes lock into mine. His face is full of pain and fear and I feel bad that I have caused this. He has every right to hate me because I'm such a bad person. My parents notice the tension on the room and they try to distract everyone.
"Dinner is ready, so we should come to the kitchen." My mom says and she gives me a comforting smile. This is all the encouragement that I need as I start walking towards the kitchen. I hear footsteps behind me and I can feel their eyes burning into my skull, but I completely ignore them. We sit by the desk and my mother serves us and we start to eat. Dinner goes by slowly and I can't wait for it to finish. I can't stay here anymore with this people that are acting like strangers, they are starting to scare me. My parents try to start a conversation, but nobody talks to them so we just stay in silence. I can't stop but keep glancing at the barn. Its appearance makes me shiver and I turn my eyes away, but I can't shake the feeling that something terrible happened in there.
When at last we finish eating, I feel so sick that I might just throw up in my plate. Toby hasn't stopped sending me worried glances but I ignored all of them. He doesn't seem like the guy I once knew and I guess it's my fault, since I caused him and everyone so much pain. My parents are looking down at their plates and Hanna and Emily are silently talking. Suddenly, I can't take it anymore.
"Look, I'm sorry okay?" I scream at them and they look at me with fear in their eyes. "I'm sorry that I'm such a disappointment to all of you, but I'm suffering too. I had to stay at that… Mental hospital for three months while you were walking freely so the least you could have done is try to act like humans." I feel relief wash over my body as I finally get this out of my chest and I put my napkin on the plate forcefully and run out of the kitchen, closing the door hardly. When I finally reach my room, I lock the door and go to my bed. I pull out the covers and lie in the bed, crying my eyes out. When I'm done crying, I hear steps coming towards my room, but I don't wanna talk to anyone so I just ignore them and grab a nightdress and my favorite teddy bear since I was born. I lie in bed again and pull the covers over me. For the first time in three months, I feel at peace. I close my eyes slowly and try to take all the images of the past three months out of my mind. It works after not even a minute and I'm asleep. I sleep the best I have ever slept since forever.
Toby's POV
When I get to her house, I have butterflies on my stomach and my hands shake with fear. I fear that she's not the same Spencer I know, that's he has become crazy like all the patients at Radley. Luckily, her parents open the door and I step inside with the girls, their boyfriends and Jason following me. Since my relationship with Spencer's parents has improved a lot in the past three months, I start talking to them. I hear movement coming from the stairs, but I'm too afraid to look.
"Spencer? Is that you?" I hear Hanna ask and then I hear her voice. Her beautiful voice that I miss so much.
"Yes." She says weekly and I realize that she's scared too. I also realize that I'm still avoiding her eyes, so I look at her. She is still the most beautiful women I have ever laid my eyes on, but she looks so different. There is no smile on her face or that familiar determination that used to shine on her eyes. She is so much skinnier and paler that I remember. Her eyes avoid mine as soon as I look at her and my heart sinks. She doesn't love anymore, she isn't the same girl I used to know. Her parents notice that everyone is staring at her and they invite us to dinner. I notice the smile that Veronica gives Spencer and how she seems to strengthen after that and walks to the kitchen before any of us.
The dinner starts and Spencer's parents try to make conversation, but no one replies to their questions. Is almost as if no one can hear them and for me that is true. I'm too intrigued by Spencer, how much I wanna talk to her or touch her. But she doesn't seem to notice me, she ignores everyone and I notice how she keeps glancing at the barn. It must be awful to see that place, considering that's where it all happened. But I don't believe for one second that she would do that, I'm sure that –A set her up.
We are almost finishing dinner when Spencer sighs in frustration and she says something that shows that a part of mine Spencer is still in there.
"Look, I'm sorry okay?" I scream at them and they look at me with fear in their eyes. "I'm sorry that I'm such a disappointment to all of you, but I'm suffering too. I had to stay at that… Mental hospital for three months while you were walking freely so the least you could have done is tried to act like humans."Before I even have time to reply, she's already on her way out of the kitchen and then upstairs, probably to her room. I sigh, I have just lost my chance to assure her that I'm still by her side. Her parents look at us with frustration and I suddenly feel guilty, even though it wasn't my fault.
"You should probably go." Her mom says quietly and she stares down at her plate while her father puts a comforting hand on her shoulder.
We decide that we better leave and I take a last look at the house before entering my truck and going home. I feel so frustrated, I was supposed to make things right with Spencer tonight but instead I just screwed it all up. I'm such a jerk, I should have contradicted her before she could go upstairs. But tomorrow is a new day, maybe I can fix this mess.
Sorry this chapter was so short, but I'm out of ideas. I'll try to make next chapter longer, I promise. 3 reviews and I'll update.