Chapter Four:

When I got home, I went straight to my room, grabbed a notebook and started sing, a song that a friend showed me.

I'm just a girl who
kissed a boy who
is in love with someone else
I didn't mean to
feel the way I do
it just happened by itself

and now I'm sick inside
yeah, it makes me wanna cry
I'm so sorry about last night
yeah, it happened so fast
I wanted it to last
in the moment it felt so right
but now I'm sick inside

now I'm stuck with this feeling in the pit of my soul
guess I should of had a little self control
I knew that it was wrong, I admit it
I wish there was a way that I could make it alright
I really wanna tell you that I put up a fight
but that would be a lie

and now I'm sick inside
yeah, it makes me wanna cry
I'm so sorry about last night
yeah, it happened so fast
I wanted it to last
in the moment it felt so right
but now I'm sick inside

now I'm sick inside
yeah, it makes me wanna cry
in the moment it felt so right

It really did make me cry. I truly felt for Ryan, but I blew it. I really did blow it.

(Next day)

"Emily, I didn't see you after school. What happened?" Asked Erika. I had totally forgotten that I was going to study with her at the public library.

"I got busy, sorry," I turned on my heals and walked over to my locker. I opened it on the first try, and got my algebra book out.

"Are you alright Emily? You seem, upset?" I just closed my locker and walked past her. "Emily? What is wrong with you?" She yelled.

"Why would you care?" I yelled back. "You don't understand." Before she could say anything, I walked away, and into my first period class, Algebra.

(First Period)

"Hey Emily," Said a delicate voice. The source came from my partner, Emma.

"Morning Emma," I replied dully, slamming my books on the table.

"Something wrong?" She asked. Looking at me, with her big blue eyes.

"Just, didn't have a good week that's all," I said, trying to send a smile across my face. I started to think about that song again. "And now I'm sick inside, and it makes me want to cry, in the moment it felt so right, and it happened it happened so fast, I wanted it to last, in the moment it felt so right, and now I'm sick inside.."

"I didn't know that you could sing," I heard Emma say. I must have been singing.

"Well, kind of, I'm not that good," I took some notes of what our Algebra teacher was writing on the board.

"You should sing a song for the Seahome presentation today. I can get you an appointment with Mrs. Wresting, so that you can try-out," She smiled at me. "It would be a good show," She laughed. And I thought, it would be a good show, to see, me, Emily Connell, a singer. I would get laughed at. But I know the perfect song, and if I did, then maybe Ryan would forgive me. Maybe, just maybe, this is what I need.

"Ill do it," She clapped her hands and giggled.

"Perfect, Ill have an appointment ready for you during lunch," She clapped her hands and jumped around some more, and then settled into her chair, listening to what our teacher was saying. I was going to be a Star! "I'm just a girl who kissed a boy, who is in love, with, you."

(Lunch)

"Ok, Emily, I normally don't take additions this late, but Emma insisted that I have you in the presentation. Just start by telling me the name of the song that you want to do," She grabbed a clip board, and pen.

"It is called, 'Sick Inside' by Hope Partlow," She nodded, scribbling down notes on her paper.

"Ok, go ahead, and sing the song," I sang the song for her, with my eyes closed so that I couldn't see her face as I sang with my terrible voice.

"You're in," She said, when I was finished. "Be sure to warm up back stage, I will tell you when you are on." She stuck out her hand for me to shake it.

"Thanks," I said as I took her hand shook it, and then left the room. I smiled, at myself. I had done it. I was going to sing my feelings, because that song said what I was feeling. "I'm in love, with you."

(The presentation)

I heard the different grades called down. I walked separate from my class, and snaked to backstage. Mrs. Wresting was there chatting, and running around, like some Broadway show was just about to start.

"Emily! Glad that you made it on time!" she looked at me like, I was some alien. "Where is your costume?"

"What costume? You didn't say anything about a costume."

"Marcey! Where is this girl's costume?" A girl ran up to us, and looked me over, with one hand on her chin and the other holding it up, like she was thinking, seriously.

"I've got it!" She yelled while running away. She came back holding onto a red dress. If you don't know this, but I never wear dresses. They are for prissy girls that just want attention. The girl shoved it into my face. "Wear this," she then turned me around and pushed me towards the bathroom. Well, I have to confess it was a cute dress. So I put it on and looked into the mirror. I looked gorges. When I came out to show them what I looked like there jaws literally dropped to the floor.

"You look stunning!" yelled Mrs. Wresting.

"Really?" I asked, turning in the mirror to see myself from every angle.

"Girl, that dress was made for you!" Mrs. Wresting called, as she walked toward the stage.

(Next Day)

Ooh, god! Yesterday was the best day of my life! I mean, my heart pounding, and people shouting, my emotions gone wild, and the felling was so incredible. Right now, you probably are wondering what I am talking about. Well, why don't I tell you?

After Mrs. Wresting had left to start the show, Marcey was just standing there, looking envious about how the dress looked on me.

"You know what?" She asked me a min before I had to get on. "You are soo lucky." I looked at her like she was totally crazy.

"What are you talking about?" I asked angrily. I mean, what would I have that Marcey didn't. She is one of the most popular people in school, and is captain of the Drama club, and gets the lead role in every play of musical that our school has ever had at our school. She also had two loving parents that give her any resource that she would ever wish for. She doesn't have any siblings, or a messed up family history. Her family is a picture perfect family that families want to have, and would give anything to be where they are. "You are the person that has a family and life that people like me would die for. The lower classmen, and the so called geeks that all they want is to be accepted, but get the cold shoulder, and rejected."

"I'm not saying that I don't like my family and life, I just want to not care what other people think about me. I don't want the attention all the time. I just want to finish school, and then live the rest of my life, as a house wife, totally not caring what people think about me. Where I am in school, makes me care about what I say, and what I dress, the friends that I have, and the extra curricular activities that I do. I just want, to be me."

"And now, a last minuet addition to the show. Emily Connell, singing Sick Inside from Hope Partlow!" Called Mrs. Wresting.

"Then just be you," I said as I walked onto the stage. And when I got to the mike, I looked over the audience, for Ryan. He was sitting next to Michelle, and her posse. He had just whispered something in her ear, and she was giggling. Her giggling stopped when I walked on stage. Her jaw dropped, and I swear I saw Ryan's eyes widen. I waved and he waved, but he looked like he was in a trance. "Um," I crooked. I turned towards Marcey and quid her to start the music. It started, and I started to sing. Once I got to the bridge, Michelle stood up very slowly as I sang the words.

"Now I'm stuck with this feeling in the pit of my soul
guess I should of had a little self control
I knew that it was wrong, I admit it
I wish there was a way that I could make it alright
I really wanna tell you that I put up a fight
but that would be a lie!"

When I was finished, she looked at me, with disbelief. I just walked off the stage, and right past everyone standing there clapping, and yelling for me to do an encore! I walked straight to the girl's bathroom and stood in front of the mirror, watching my tears ruin my mascara. The door popped open, and Michelle walked into the room.

"Hey," she said, as she walked over to where I was standing. I eminently tried to wipe away the tears. "Thank you."

"What? I asked. "Thank you for what?"

"Well, I know that that song, was saying that you were sorry for kissing my boyfriend," she emphasized my. "And I think that that was really brave of you to do that in front of the whole student body, so I thank you." I smiled.

"Michelle, you know that sometimes you can be a total bitch," I paused. "But other times, you can be the nicest person I have ever met." We hugged. I mean. Me, Emily Connell friends with Michelle Colman, the most popular girl in school! That is when my life changed, and the day I will never forget.

A/N: Wow that was so fun to write. I am truly sorry for not writing this sooner, but I just haven't had that much time to write it, and I think that over the summer I am going to put this, and 'Happily Ever After?' on hold. I know, I know, sad, but my summer is going to be busy and I just won't have time to write. Hope that you liked this chapter, and I hope that the song fit, as well as I thought it dose. Well, tell me what you think, and tell me that I can't put the story on hold! Go and review!

Megmae