I do not own Gold Digger and its associated characters. They belong to that marvelous fellow Fred Perry. I do not own Ranma and its associated characters. They belong to the wonderful lady Rumiko Takahashi. This production is strictly for entertainment, and I am not making any money off of the writings. I am just a poor student, so please Don't sue me Please?
Broken Hearts Combined Chapter 48: Schemes and Dreams of Gods and Demons
It is late at night in Japan, around 11 pm. The waning half moon floats in the clear night sky, surrounded by stars. The airport is bustling with life as there are still planes coming in and leaving late.
Intercom: Non-stop Flight 157 from Atlanta, Georgia arriving at Gate B-92.
At one of the Flight Gates of the Airport, a group can be seen coming out of it and into the terminal. They are quite a sight to behold. They are the Diggers family and friends.
Ranma Saotome leads the group. He is wearing a pair of black denim jeans with a black leather belt around his waist, black leather boots, a white t-shirt with a yin-yang design on the front, black leather fingerless gloves, and a black denim jacket. He has a black backpack slung over his right shoulder.
Ranma: Japan Home again
Britanny steps out of the Gate shortly after Ranma and in her human form. She wears a pair of tight-fitting black leather pants, a pair of white running-sneakers, a white t-shirt with "I Love Horses" written on the front in red lettering, and a black leather vest. She has a bit of trouble carrying in large bag.
Britanny (Lugging her bag): Damn this is heavy Why can't I be in my hybrid form again?
Ranma: Because it will attract too much attention Britchan.
Britanny: Damn it!
Sheila steps out of the Gate. She is in her human form as well, and it is one that can make a lot of heads turn! Sheila wears a pair of beige pants, a tight-fitting white shirt, an olive vest, and white high-heel pumps. She carried a large bag with little effort thanks to the strength she has in her human form.
Sheila: Hey, need help Britanny?
Britanny: Yes please.
Sheila picks up Brit's bag with her free hand.
Sheila: This isn't that heavy Brit.
Britanny: Well, I don't have the strength you do in human form.
Gina comes out from the Gate shortly after Sheila. She wears a pair of khaki pants, brown leather hiking-boots, a black t-shirt, light khaki vest with the "GD" symbol on the back, and her usual 'adventurer's hat'. She has a bit of trouble carrying her back.
Gina: Wow Japan. I haven't been here in years!
Brianna then steps out of the Gate. She is wearing a pair of sunglasses, a pair of blue jeans, black leather boots, a black t-shirt with "Yum, Yum Bumblebee, Bumblebee Tuna" written on the front in yellow lettering, and a black leather vest. She carries a suitcase that has all sorts of stickers on it, including, "Danger, High Explosives".
Brianna: YAY! In Japan again! Now I can finish what I started! Those Nerimian jerks won't know what hit 'em! Heheheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeh!
Julia steps out of the Gate. She is wearing a pair of light blue jeans, a pair of white sneakers, and a pale violet blouse. She places her hand on Brianna's shoulder and shakes her head.
Julia: You do that Brianna, and you'll be grounded.
Brianna: But Mooooooooom
Julia: No buts young lady!
Brianna (Pouts): Phooey.
Theodore then steps out from the Gate. He is wearing his usual Mage suit, and a brown trench coat over it.
Theo: Listen to your mother Brianna.
Brianna: Double phooey!
Gar then walks out from the Gate, he is also in human form, which has red-hair, a decent build, stands 5'11", and has freckles on both his cheeks. He wears a pair of dark blue jeans, a pair of white sneakers, a green shirt, and a pair of black wristbands. He carries a bag slung over his shoulder like Ranma.
Gar: So This is Japan huh? Doesn't look that special
Ranma: That's because we're only in an airport.
Gar: Oh
Finally, Genn steps off the plane. He is in his masculine form, so he is very muscular. He wears a tight-fitting orange Hawaiian shirt, a pair of sandals, white shorts, and he carries two of the bags.
Ranma: Hey Genn, what brings you here with us?
Genn: Two reasons First, Dr. Diggers wanted someone to Er 'Entertain' Brianna and make sure she doesn't blow anything up
Ranma: Okay That I can understand Well, what's the second reason?
Genn: S ance won the coin-toss. So I went.
Ranma: Poor guy, I know how you feel.
Britanny Sheila: HEY!
Ranma (Cringes): I'm kidding, I'm kidding!
Britanny (Smirks): Just for that, we'll have to teach you a lesson tonight!
Sheila (Smirks): Yep! Just you wait Ranchan
Ranma (Teary-eyed): No fair
Gar (Chuckles): Heh Armsmaster my foot! Those two got you whipped.
Genn: I must thoroughly agree
Brianna (Places her hand on Genn's shoulders): Speaking of being 'whipped'
Genn (Sweat-drops): Um
Brianna: Puuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Genn: Oh crap-a-doodle
Ranma: Sigh I was hoping to get some sleep tonight
Theo (Demon-Head Technique): Yes You had better.
Ranma:
Julia: Theodore Pisqual Diggers
Theo reverts back to normal.
Theo: Very well
Gar: Hey, anyone have a clue as to where we're staying at?
Britanny: Yep! We got the entire 51st floor, the last floor before the top Honeymoon Suite!
Theo (Sweat-drops): Did we REALLY need an entire floor? You realize how much that's going to cost, don't you?
Julia: Yes Theo. We don't want anyone seeing werecats or other such things running around, do we?
Theo: Sigh I guess not
And so, the Diggers crew heads down to the Luggage Area, where they can pick up their suitcases. From there they shall head to the Emporia and retire for the night After all, everyone needs their rest
Of course, for some Sleep can be the worst of hells
Genma: NO, NO, NOOO! AAAAHHHHH! When will the hurting stoooopp!? Not the eyes! Keep away from my eyes!
Thus did Genma scream and wail as the cats tore into him. Kittens and adults of all shapes and colors, old and young alike, and even some of the larger varieties of cats are present as Genma suffers. A couple of ocelots and wildcats, a panthress, and a lioness are also present; occasionally taking swipes at the obese martial artist. And all through the night do they keep Genma screaming in fear and in pain, allowing him to suffer a hundred-thousand-fold what he inflicted upon his son those oh-so-many years ago.
This is what you the intrepid reader witness as we enter this Omake. Wondering you must be. (1)
To this point, transpired the events, how?
Let us rewind time for a moment to see how this came to be.
A short time ago
Gendo: Well, well, Genma? What shall I do with you tonight?
Gendo Saotome chuckled with disturbing glee. He had the fat and balding martial artist tied up on the floor behind him. A twisted, wicked looking rack stood near the pair.
Gendo: Let me see here We've covered all the basics of Drow torture. We've done most of the moderate level of techniques, including my personal favorites, too. Ancient Chinese practices. Check. Your own worst fears. Double check. Akane's cooking (Shudders). That was almost so bad that we wouldn't have forced it upon for you, panda man. (Gendo perks up a bit). Thankfully someone remembered all the times you forced it on Ranma.
Gendo was checking things off as he paced the space in the dreamscape that was Genma's nightmare. Turning to face the bound and gagged martial artist and generally sorry excuse for a human being. Gendo's gleeful smile became a statement of curiosity.
Gendo: Huh? Where did my rack go? (Looking about as he starts to notice the dimming of the ambient light). Hey I don't remember this area being a pit I wonder what's going on here
From out of the surrounding darkness a voice resounds. A voice that is serious and menacing.
Female Voice: There will be no torturing of Genma this night by you, Mazouku.
For a brief moment, Genma looks hopeful.
Gendo: Who's there?
Female Voice: Do not worry, Gendo. You may continue your 'ministrations' tomorrow night.
Genma looks downcast again.
Gendo: You didn't answer my question? Besides who says I can't torture the fat panda. He more than deserves it.
Female Voice: I didn't say you couldn't. But unless you wish to become a victim of tonight's torture, you best leave.
Gendo: What the heck are you talking about? What do you Whoa! Hey! Stop! Let me goooooo
Before Gendo could argue further. A hand reaches out from the darkness behind him, grabbing him by the collar. It pulls him within the engulfing darkness, cutting off his questioning and screaming with sudden silence.
Genma looks about suddenly quite relieved. Looks like he would finally get a good nights rest, to sleep peacefully for once in many months. (2)
Female Voice: Puuurrrrfect. Now that the nuisance is gone, we can get to business.
Genma (Blinks): Huh?
From the darkness a sultry voice purred menacingly. Female Voice: Now, furrrrball, you shall suffer as your 'son' had all those years ago. For I Bastet, Goddess of Pleasure AND Patron of Cats, among other things, will force upon you the very suffering that you placed upon yourrr child. Only it shall be hundred-
thousand-fold!
Chuckling wickedly a small sleek panther walked out of the shadows.
Genma (Shaking): Who Who Who are you?
Panther (Cocks head to one side): As I said panda. I am Bastet. Your torturerrr forr thisss evening. After I finisssh with you, you ssshall wisssh that little demon back. Forrr I amm yourrr worst nightmare Genma Ssssaotome.
Pausing for a moment as various cats stepped out of the darkness. Bast looked upon Genma with undisguised contempt.
Genma was surrounded by dozens upon dozens of cats, and he could see the glowing eyes of many more in the surrounding darkness. He gulped as he heard the low growls and panting of larger cats, as larger shadows moved among the throng. Bast: You have errrrred for the last time, mortal. But I'm going to give you a little advice before we begin. You made three mistakes you shouldn't have. One was pissing off a goddess.
Bast took a step closer.
Bast: The second was you pissed of a goddess who is a protector and patron of both children and cats.
She unsheathes her claws.
Bast: And the third and worse yet ...
Pausing for effect, Bast sneered in the most-wicked manner possible, revealing gleaming fangs, before she continued. Genma gulped audibly.
Bast: You! Pissed! ME! OFF! ROARRRRR! (3)
And at the end of her proclamation the cats charged the still bound Jusenkyo-cursed, overweight, and balding martial artist.
Genma: NOOOOOOO!"
"Hiss, spit, yowl, growl, ROAR!" and other such sounds drifted out of that end of the dreamscape, disturbing those who wandered near it there that night.
We now return you to Gendo who is elsewhere on the dreamscape.
We also leave the above scene so as to protect the gentler readers from exposure to any unnecessary violence. Or as the case may be, excessive amounts of necessary violence. So lets move onto Gendo now.
Gendo (Blinks): Huh? What? Where in the Nine Hells am I?
Gendo looks about. He's aware that's he's still on the dreamscape, unfortunately he has no idea where. The entire area is completely blank. It's nothing but simple darkness, just black. Absolute nothingness Well Except for that painter of in the distance
Gendo: A painter?
Gendo, not having anything better decided to talk to the 'painter'. Who knows maybe he'll know where the heck he is.
Walking up to the painter Gendo sees that he's an obviously fake French artist with a fake handle bar mustache and paint smattered blue smock, complete with starving artist cap . The painter appears to be doing a landscape, if the setup was any indication. Of course there was nothing here but blackness.
Gendo: Hey, buddy. What are you doing?
Painter: Moi, I am painting ze landscape. Eez it not obvious. (4)
Gendo: Uh What landscape? There's nothing here!
Gendo gestures to the surrounding darkness, as to illustrate his point.
Painter: Of course there iz nothing. I have not finished painting ze landscape.
Gendo: How can you paint the landscape, if there's nothing there?
With a flourish and a twist the 'painter' makes a final stroke on the canvas.
Painter: Viola it iz fini!
Gendo (Blinks): Huh?
Painter: Take ze look mon ami. What do you think of ze portrait.
Gendo walks over to look at the portrait.
Gendo: What the hell could you have painted? Except maybe a large black splotch (Blinks). That's looks like Jusenkyo. I though you said you were painting the landscape. That ain't what
Gendo gestures out to the blackness only to stop slack jawed. The picture of a mist enshrouded Jusenkyo on the canvas, was indeed the current view that he beheld. The darkness was no longer there. It was Jusenkyo.
Gendo: Wha How? Whoa What happened?
Turning to face the artist, Gendo finds him smirking.
Painter: Like I told you Gendo. I was painting the landscape. What do you think?
Gendo (Nods his head): I must admit the use of shading and color to highlight the mists and what it hides was well down. I get a feeling as if I'm really . (Eyes widen). Hey wait a minute how do you know my name!? Who are you anyway? What happened to the cheesy accent?
Whirling about Gendo is no longer looking at a 'French Painter'. The painter, with classic pullover costume change, now stands before Gendo as the Jusenkyo Guide.
Gendo: What the Nine Hells?
Jusenkyo Guide: Oh Honored customer. Is too, too tragic story
Gendo was getting a funny feeling about where this was going.
Jusenkyo Guide: Of Mazouku who haunted the dreams of an overweight, balding, lying, cheating, dishonorable, panda cursed, martial artist father
Gendo blinked. Whoever this guy was had him pegged pretty well Had Genma pegged too.
Jusenkyo Guide: And who found himself falling into hands of bored God of Meddling, Mischief, and Chaos
Gendo gulped. He didn't care much for the gods. They tended to be a bit petty, over-
zealous, and pompous where he came from.
Jusenkyo Guide: Is very tragic story of Mazouku who becomes pawn of god when splashed with cold water
Dropping the accent the guide looked towards Gendo. As the guide hefted a bucket of water he continued to speak.
Jusenkyo Guide: Welcome, my little 'pawn'. I am the Shadow Cat.
Gendo gulped. Just before the water hit, he was starting to wish he had gone to torture Tofu tonight.
Elsewhere, a doctor sneezed and shuddered in his sleep, before returning to his peaceful dreams. Dreams of him and his beautiful wife to be. Get your minds out of the gutter people. He wasn't having those kinds of dreams. No one was having any dreams of that sort.
Sigh
Okay
The doctor wasn't having those dreams. I mean it! The doctor wasn't having any of those kinds of dreams. I didn't say anything about the wife to be.
Okay, happy now? You dirty minded little rapscallions
Let's get back to the story, shall we? (5)
Gendo sighed in relief as he toweled off. It was only water. He sat with Shadow Cat over looking the dreamscape version of the valley of cursed springs.
Gendo: So let me get this straight Shadow Cat. Your 'aunt' Bastet wanted to deal with the panda. She was or should I say is treating him to the cat fist training he put Ranma through. Only that it is hundred-thousand-fold worse.
Shadow Cat: Yes indeed.
Gendo: Damn! That woman is good! I didn't consider doing something like that to the fat bastard. Oh well, live and learn
Shadow Cat (Nods his head): Live and learn.
Gendo: Why wasn't I allowed to help again?
Shadow Cat: Oh, you would have been a liability. You would have been in as much danger as the panda. 'Auntie' is quite pissed. She probably would have had you turned into a scratching post, or the shavings of one anyway, if you got involved.
Gendo (Whistles): That's one scary dame.
Shadow Cat: You're telling me.
Gendo: So now what? What's with Jusenkyo? Or at least the reasonable facsimile of it?
Shadow Cat: Oh I thought we would torture Kuno for a bit.
Gendo: Which one?
Shadow Cat: Hmmm I was thinking just bokken boy. Though now that you mention it we could involve Kodachi and the nutcase Hawaiian.
Gendo: You mean Sabbo?
Shadow Cat: No, not him. Well, not yet anyways I meant the principal of Furinkan.
Gendo: What did you have in mind?
Shadow Cat: Simply giving them a taste of living in Ranma's shoes. Well as far as the curse goes
Gendo: Oh I get you. They'll be treated like Ranma was. Kuno will be hit on and reviled by the same person. Same for Kodachi.
Shadow Cat: Bingo! You catch on quick. I knew there was a reason I chose you for this endeavor.
Gendo: Thanks I think So how do we do this?
Shadow Cat: Well we can't do anything permanent, so I created this wonderful dreamscape. All we have to do is simply weave a tale that plays upon the delusions of those idiots.
Gendo: Can we play with Sabbo afterwards? I'm sure we could get away with something permanent with him.
Shadow Cat: I'll think about.
Gendo: Please?
Shadow Cat: I said 'I'll think about it.'
Gendo: Come on! It would be fun!
Shadow Cat: Drop it or you'll be continuing this conversation as a plushie in Azusa's collection.
Gendo (Gulps): Yessir
Shadow Cat: Besides, I have something special planned for Sabbo. Heheheheeeeeh!
Gendo stares at Shadow Cat.
Shadow Cat: Come on Gendo laugh with me. You'll feel better. Bwahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahhaaaaaaah
Gendo: Well, I Oh, to Nine Hells with it. Muhahahahahahaahhaahahahhahhahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Shadow Cat: There, now don't you feel better?
Gendo: Yeah I do. Doing that always lifts my spirits.
And on that happy note the pair of mischief-makers prepared for their little production, and the fun they were about to have at Kuno's expense.
A short bit later
Kuno wandered through the mists of Jusenkyo. His usual dream of crushing both the foul sorcerer Saotome and his equally vile familiar Lotte, was interrupted with the appearance of this enshrouded valley. Usually at this point in the dream he would be accepting the long belated adorations of his fierce tigress Akane and the beauteous pig-tailed girl. Unless it was that nightmare The one where his beloveds turn away from him in shock and shame at his supposed lack of manhood. Such a ridiculous thought as if the great scion of the house of Kuno would suffer from such a thing. It was all the fault of the silver haired witch that such a fitful vision bothered his illustrious self.
Kuno: Nay. It is no fault of that fair goddess, it is the work of that villainous Asmodeus Lotte. He dares to use his foul magics to enslave such a vision of loveliness. To turn a woman who would normally fall to my overwhelming charms, against me in an attempt to shatter my confidence. If ever I find the foul beast again I shall rightly smite him and free another maiden who undoubtedly has been bewitched by unholy sorcery!
Kuno raises his ever-present bokken to the heavens.
Kuno: Know this fiend. For I the 'Blue Thunder' of Furinkan High School shall find you and deliver the 'Vengeance of Heav~THUMP!
Kuno lays unconscious after having a 500-pound sandbag fall from out of the blue and upon his head.
Shadow Cat: Feh. The guy thinks he's Kami-sama's gift to women
Shadow Cat tosses a remote to Gendo as he turns to walk down to the unconscious kendoist. Gendo takes a moment to look at the remote. It has several buttons and dials, such as 'smite', 'anvil', 'random', 'plague', 'lightning', 'flood', 'annoying alien menace', 'someone malleted by Akane Tendo', and 'bomb'.
Gendo: Hey, Shadow Cat? Where are you going?
Shadow Cat: To wake the fool up. We can't torture him if he's unconscious. Get into costume, the shows about to begin.
Gendo: Yessir!
Mumbling to himself Shadow Cat stalked down the trail towards Kuno's prone body.
Shadow Cat: The ass can do whatever he wants with that little Tendo brat And no way in the Nine Hells is he going to be able to touch the pig-tailed girl. Ranma will kill Kuno if he tried, that is if Ranma's werecat wives don't beat him to it. But now he's after Urd, and he's thinking I'm an obstacle? That I've bewitched her? That she actually likes him, it's just that I'm keeping them apart? Oh, he's so dead for that. I am definitely going to enjoy this little production.
Behind Shadow, Gendo cringed. The god had dark energy rolling off him in great waves of power.
Gendo: MmmMMMMM! Yummy, yummy chaos Just like 'Momma' L-Sama used to make! I almost feel sorry for Kuno.
Shuddering violently Gendo continues onward.
Gendo: But better him than me.
Some more time later Yet again.
Kuno awoke with a groan and a splitting headache. He was also soaked. Looking about him he noticed that he was in what appears to be a simple hut.
Female Jusenkyo Guide: Oh. Honored customer is awake. Guide very happy to see Mr. customer is fine.
Kuno: Where art we, peasant?
Female Jusenkyo Guide: Mr. Customer is strange one, no? We in Guide's Hut; Mr. Customer was hurt.
Kuno: Hurt? How could the noble scion of the house of Kuno be hurt?
Female Jusenkyo Guide: Honored customer fall in pool when he saved young woman from such fate.
Kuno: So the great Blue Thunder was bedridden all at the benefit of protecting a young woman? Odd that I remember no such thing
Female Jusenkyo Guide: Mr. Customer hit head before he fall in pool. Perhaps he no remember cause of this.
Kuno: If what you speak is so, then may haps it is true. This would explain why I am wet. Where good sir, are we?
Female Jusenkyo Guide: You is at Jusenkyo honored customer. It is too, too tragic place. Home of the Accursed Pools Kuno: Hmm Jusenkyo Accursed Pools. What foolishness doth though speak?
Female Jusenkyo Guide: Jusenkyo have many pools of water. Each carry horrible and tragic curse.
Kuno: Curse? Pray tell me what is this curse.
Female Jusenkyo Guide: Curse different for each pool. Young Mr. Customer fall into Nyannichuan. Spring of drowned girl
Kuno (Wide-eyed): GIRL!?
Female Jusenkyo Guide: Is too, too tragic tale of girl who drown 2,000 years ago. Now who ever fall in spring take body of young girl Kuno: Surely you jest. For if I fell into such a thing I would be a girl. I am a man.
Female Jusenkyo Guide: Curse has cure.
Kuno: A cure. So see I am a man. Even if I was cursed I am apparently cured. The fair maiden I rescued must of sought out a way to cure her dashing hero.
Female Jusenkyo Guide (Shakes head): Girl leave in disgust. Girl said she want nothing to do with, I quote, 'A freakish perverted half-man, who didn't have much as man to begin with.' End quote.
As Kuno's eyes began to twitch the guide lifted a bucket of water in one hand and a kettle in the other he continued uninterrupted.
Female Jusenkyo Guide: Curse work like this. Cold water you become girl.
SPLASH!
Female Jusenkyo Guide: Hot water turns you back.
Pour.
Female Jusenkyo Guide: Cure work only until you splashed with cold water again.
SPLASH!
As the guide proceeded to demonstrate the curse Kuno looked upon his self with shock.
Kuno:
He promptly and expectedly passed out.
(-)
On a nearby hill overlooking the hut.
Gendo whistled a merry little tune. So far things were going according to plan. Convincing Kuno that he knocked himself out and fell into a pool when he rescued a young woman worked like a charm. It allowed Shadow Cat to convince Kuno that the blow he remembered getting hit by wasn't a 500-lb sandbag but an injury he received in his rescue of a woman. Something his warped and deluded little mind could accept.
Gendo: Hey Shadow Cat is a pretty could actor. Also knows how to play Kuno, too. Wonder where that 'not being much of man' thing came from though Shadow Cat: Thanks. But unfortunately that's not saying much. This is Kuno we're talking about Gendo jumped from the unexpected comment. Turning he sees Shadow Cat with a bucket of popcorn.
Shadow Cat: And as for that 'not much of man' jibe, you'd have ask Urd about that. (Reaches bag over to Gendo). Want some?
Gendo (Takes some of the pre-offered popcorn): Urd?
Shadow Cat: Yeah a goddess, I got to play the guide. She happens to get a kick out of belittling people like Kuno. Also wanted in on this whole 'Payback Thing' we've got going in Ranma's favor.
Gendo (Whistles): Whom in the Nine hells didn't the Nerima Wrecking Crew piss off?
Shadow Cat: Hmm Not sure I know a few demonesses who aren't that happy with what happened. So I can't say that all of Hell is happy with what happened. (Those Succubi really liked Ranma). Don't know really. Probably at least one person out there who wasn't in some way offended by the Nerima Wrecking Crew, but I wouldn't put any money on it, though.
Gendo: True enough. So (Munches on popcorn). What's next in the script?
Shadow Cat: Oh we flash forward through a montage of Kuno's trouble.
Gendo: Why the montage?
Shadow Cat: Took us a awhile just to get to this stage of the game. We spent most of the available night just prepping things.
Shadow Cat walks over to a set of leather recliners. Plopping down into his seat he turns on a 38 inch Sony flat screen. Motioning to Gendo to join him, Shadow Cat pushes start on the remote.
The following is a montage of scenes from Kuno's nightmare.
We see Kuno-chan ranting and raging to the heavens, cursing Ranma and Ozzy. Mikado Sanzenine is seen behind Kuno, a beaten and unconscious. Kuno-chan: Curse thou, of vile sorcerer Saotome! Thanks to thine curse, mine lips' virginity doth been taken by this perverted fiend! I shalt find a way to bring thine end soon, as well as thine familiar partner in crimes, Asmodeous Lotte! So swears the great scion of the house of Kuno!
Mikado (Lumps all over his head): B, Bokken girl
We see Kuno-chan being attacked by the 'pig-tailed' girl and Akane, both calling him a hussy and a tramp. Attacking Kuno-chan while declaring their undying love for Kuno-
kun. And of course how they'll never let a lowborn tramp like 'her' touch him.
Akane (Kicks Kuno-chan): YOU FIEND!
Pig-tailed Girl (Punches Kuno-chan): YOU TRAMP!
Akane (Slaps Kuno-chan): HUSSY! We shall not allow you to take away our most beloved and dearest Kuno-sempai!
Pig-tailed Girl (Pulls Kuno-chan's hair): Indeed! This slut cannot be allowed to get anywhere near our dearest Kuno! For we love and adore everything about him, and shall not allow this filthy brigand to harm our dearest Kuno-sempai!
Kuno-chan: Wait! Ow! Stop Fierce Tigress Akane Tendo! OW! Stop mine beloved Pig-tailed girl! OUCH! STOP PLEASE! OW!
Akane and the Pig-tailed girl continue to beat the living crap out of Kuno-chan.
(-)
Kuno is once more cursing Ranma. The little old ladle lady is seen to his left cleaning the sidewalk.
Kuno: One of these days thou fiend! This curse is all thine entire fault, oh foulest of vile sorcerers Ranma Saotome! I shall make thee pay! For the vengeance of Heaven is slow, but sure And as lone as I, TATEWAKI KUNO, THE BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH ARE AROUND, I SHALL BRING AN END TO THIN EVIL
SPLASH!
Kuno-chan (Blinks): Ways?
Ladle Lady: Oh, sorry dearie
The Ladle Lady goes back to wetting down the sidewalk.
Another variation of Kuno-chan being attacked by Akane.
Akane chases Kuno-chan throughout the school grounds of Furinkan.
Akane (Chases Kuno-chan, mallet held high above her head): FIEND! HOW DARE YOU EAT THE DELICIOUS COOKIES THAT I MADE FOR KUNO-SEMPAI WITH MY OWN TWO DAINTY HANDS!?
Kuno-chan (Running): But Fierce Tigress Akane Tendo, I did enjoy doth cookies you hard prepared for me! They were quite 'Interesting'.
Akane: GRR! I know you did Bokken-girl! You stole the cookies that were meant for my dearest Kuno-sempai! BOKKEN-GIRL YOU JERK!
Kuno-chan: Wait, I mean to say that I am
Kuno-chan stops talking and slows down as her stomach makes a horrible grumbling noise and cramps up.
Kuno-chan: Ack! What, what could be so unsettling to the great and reliable bowels of the Scion on the house of WHAM!
Akane mallets Kuno-chan, and with a mighty swing sending the bokken-wielding idiot into Lower Earth Orbit.
(-)
Kuno attempting to explain the 'curse'.
Akane and the 'pig-tailed' girl, standing there in shock. They begin calling Kuno a pervert as well as many other things. Many of which Ranma was called by those simple-
minded fools who couldn't grasp the basic concept of a 'curse'.
Kuno: So you see my fairest ones, I am both thine great Tatewaki Kuno, and the one you knew as the, "Bokken-girl".
Akane: You mean, you took advantage of our trust!?
Pig-tailed girl: And you hurt out feelings to boot!
Kuno: No mine dearests, you see
Akane Pig-tailed girl: YOU PERVERT!
WHAP!
Akane: YOU perverted HALF-MAN!
WHACK!
Pig-tailed girl: We don't need you! You enemy to all women!
THUD!
Akane: Disgusting freak! You must get off at looking at yourself!
PUNCH!
Pig-tailed girl: You two-timing pervert! All those times we saw you as Bokken-girl with those men! PERVERT!
KICK!
Akane: You don't need us! You're a couple by yourself!
THWACK!
Pig-tailed girl: You disgusting excuse for a martial artist! You are no man, you hear me! YOU! ARE! NO! MAN!
WHAM!
(-)
End Montage (-)
Gendo and Shadow Cat were rolling in their seats. Both had tears in their eyes from laughing so hard.
Shadow Cat: Hahahhaahhahahahahahhahahhahahahaaaaaaaaaa
Gendo: Hohohohohohohohohohoooo . Hahahahahahahahaaaaaa
Shadow Cat: Cough Ha . Huff Puff . Oh my
Gendo: Damn it, huff, puff, Shadow Cat that was a hoot! Please Huff Puff Ha Tell me that you taped that .
Shadow Cat: Oh Huff Oh my Huff Puff Yeah I did.
Taking a few moments to calm themselves.
Shadow Cat: Yeah, I got it all on tape. And the best part is yet to come.
Gendo: Wait you mean there's more?
Shadow Cat: The best part yet. It's going leave Kuno waking up screaming. It's gonna be so bad that he'll never forget this nightmare. Never. For the rest of his life this scene will always haunt him!
Gendo: Oooooooh That sounds positively evil! I like it! Yes I do! So what's going to happen next?"
Shadow Cat: This is the part that you'll get to star in.
Gendo: Oh? What do I have to do?
Shadow Cat: Well you see Gendo: I know, I get to shove that stick up his ass!
Shadow Cat: All you have to do Gendo: Then I'll turn it sideways Shadow Cat: Is disguise yourself as Gendo: Oh that's even better; I can do it disguised as Akane. And I'll slowly rip off his Shadow Cat: Ranma and
Gendo (Blinks): As my brother? Why's that?
Shadow Cat: Because you look enough like Ranma that Kuno will think you're him. And such a humiliating act committed against Kuno by his greatest foe, will drive Kuno so far off the edge that there will be no hope for his return to sanity or redemption!
Gendo: I didn't think there was any hope for the return of his sanity as it was.
Shadow Cat: I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. Even if it goes against my better judgment Gendo: So what do I have to do?
Shadow Cat: Simply change Kuno into his cursed form and Gendo (Smiles evilly): Lock him in it!?
Shadow Cat: No, all you have to do is Gendo: WHAT!? What do I have to do already?
Shadow Cat: Give Kuno a kiss.
Gendo (Stares): Shadow Cat (Smiles): Gendo (Still stares): Shadow Cat (Still smiles): Gendo: WHAT IN THE NINE HELLS ARE YOU THINKING YOU STUPID FURBALL!?
Shadow Cat found himself knocked to the floor by the force of Gendo's outburst.
Shadow Cat: Owwies Gendo: WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE NINE HELLS ARE YOU THINKING!? There is no way that I am ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Going to 'KISS' that That That Damn! I can't think of anything properly demeaning and insulting to say. You see how flustered just thinking of doing 'that', has gotten me. NO, I am not Shadow Cat simply smiles as Gendo continues to go on about how he won't do it.
10 minutes later.
We see a shot of the Kuno Estate, overhead view. We slowly pan out until all that is seen is the Nerima district as a whole. It's quiet Serene Peaceful T-minus 5 .
4 .
3 .
2 .
1
0
Kuno (Voice): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
And the silence of the night is shattered by the soul-wrenching scream. The scream manages to get dogs a barking, alarms a-ringing, and it awakes all but the heaviest of sleepers, and even those people are sleeping lightly after that. Lights all over Nerima go on as the scream cries out for quite some time.
At a hotel room of the Emporia, Sheila, (in hybrid form) sits up in bed, accidentally waking up Ranma and Britanny, (who is also in hybrid form).
Sheila (Wide-eyed): What's that?
Ranma (Blinks): Hmm? What's wrong Sheila?
Britanny: Yeah What're you waking us up for?
Sheila: Huh? Sorry Didn't mean to wake you guys up. I just heard someone scream the most disheartening scream I ever heard. It was like one of a person that had gapped into the pits of hell.
Britanny: I didn't hear anything
Ranma: Me neither Sheila
Sheila: You two forget. As a jagwere, I have really sensitive hearing.
Ranma: Oh makes sense Well Let's go back to sleep, okay?
Sheila: Okay
And thus the three lie back down in bed and try to go to sleep.
Britanny (Mutters in her sleep): Mmm Tuna
And time marches on
It is shortly after dawn. Two figures stand upon a rooftop. They are afforded an unobstructed view of the Kuno estate and its main courtyard. One of the two figures seems to be chugging bottles of some sort and then tossing over his shoulder.
Shadow Cat: Gendo? That's what, your 23rd bottle? I really think you've had enough.
Gendo (Gargles, spits, gargles, spits, tosses empty bottle): Thank L-Sama for mint flavored mouthwash Gendo grabs another bottle from the box by his feet and starts chugging once again.
Gendo: Damn you! I'm going to get you for that. I have no idea how you got me to do that, but I swear you're going to pay Shadow Cat. You are so going to pay!
Shadow Cat: I don't think so.
Gendo: Why do you say that?
Shadow Cat: I taped the whole thing.
Gendo: So?
Shadow Cat: I'm pretty sure your 'significant other' would love to see this. I wonder what the odds of your Kasumi actually giving you a fair chance to explain before she starts 'punishing' you are?
Gendo pales slightly as Shadow Cat looks on smugly.
Gendo: You're evil You're God damned evil You know that, right? I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!
Gendo grabs Shadow Cat in a manly hug, impressed by the evils that a god is showing, evils that rival that of the Mazouku. Gendo then goes back to gargling.
Shadow Cat simply smirks as Gendo continues to mumble darkly and gargle. The pair look upon the Kuno grounds as they see Tatewaki Kuno emerge.
(-)
Kuno emerges form his home; red-eyed and well haggard looking. It's more than obvious that he didn't sleep well last night. He walks into the center of the yard; unaware of the figures across the way he raises his sword to the sky. As he is about to open his mouth to proclaim loudly his rant against the foul sorcerer Saotome, he stops when he hears an odd sound.
Sound: Moo
Kuno (Blinks): 'Moo'? (Cocks his head to the side). 'Moo'!? (Blinks). And why is it suddenly dark out?
Kuno takes a moment to look at the ground and notices a shadow that is quickly growing. He scratches his head in thought. He doesn't get a chance to look up as something lands on him.
(-)
Shadow Cat blinks twice before looking from the cow that crushed Kuno, to Gendo. Before he could voice a question on what had just happened he notices Gendo with the remote from earlier. Closing his mouth with an audible click, Shadow Cat simply nods his head in understanding before cocking it to the side in thought. As he once again opening his mouth to speak he was interrupted by Gendo's voice.
Gendo: After the crap you just put me through, there is no way I am going to listen to that idiot rant. Especially this early in the morning!
Shadow Cat: What button did you push? I don't believe there was a cow button Gendo: Random, why?
Shadow Cat: Random? Hmmm First time a cow ever came from using that one Oh well Gendo: I'm still going to get you for this you know Shadow Cat: Oh don't worry about it. Come on let's go find Sabbo. We'll get him as drunk as a skunk, and roll him in the park. You'll feel better afterwards. So what do you say?
Gendo (Stares):
Shadow Cat: Come on, you'll fell better after harassing him.
Gendo: Fine. Let's go harass Sabbo for a while. But I'm keeping this remote! After the hell you just put me through I deserve something.
Shadow Cat: No prob. So lets go find 'Lardo' the Hidden Fool of Jade!
And whistling a happy little ditty, Shadow Cat faded from view, followed shortly by a slightly disgruntled Gendo, who was polishing off his 25th bottle of mouthwash. Tossing it to the ground Gendo looks out towards the rising sun.
Gendo: You know I may have hated that. But the look on Kuno's face was 'almost' worth it Almost Smirking, Gendo started laughing, before he too faded out.
Gendo: Hahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nabiki Tendo rolled in her sleep as her alarm clock went off. She threw her hand on top of it and managed to hit the snooze button. She then rolled back over and tried to go back to sleep.
Nabiki: Yaaaaaawn (Mutters to herself). I should really stop setting my alarm for 5:30 am I need more sleep
Nabiki closes her eyes and starts to nestle back into sleep mode, when her cell-phone goes off.
Nabiki (Mutters): Damn it
Nabiki reaches over to the nightstand by her bed once more, this time, reaching for her cell-phone. She answers it.
Nabiki: Hello? Nabiki Tendo Speaking.
Voice on Phone: Ms. Tendo it's Senzuki.
Nabiki: Mr. Senzuki? The manager of the Emporia, right?
Senzuki (Voice): The same.
Nabiki: I take it you have set up the reservation for the Honeymoon Suite that I wanted to get for my sister Kasumi and her fianc e Tofu as a wedding present?
Senzuki (Voice): Yes, I have actually. I have even imported some of the rare wines and cheeses you asked me to get.
Nabiki: Excellent. But why did you call me so early in the morning?
Senzuki (Voice): This is important Ms. Tendo!
Nabiki: Oh? What is it Senzuki?
Senzuki (Voice): I mean You are not going to believe this!
Nabiki (Frowns): Oh, just spit it out and tell me Senzuki.
Senzuki (Voice): Well, you remember how you've been paying me to check the registry for you, correct?
Nabiki: Yes I do.
Senzuki (Voice): Well, last night, a large group checked into their rooms. They booked every room on the 51st floor.
Nabiki (Whistles): Impressive That must have cost them a pretty penny
Senzuki (Voice): It will
Nabiki: So, are you telling me all this so that I can go and make some 'deals' with a richer, and 'well-off' crowd? Senzuki (Voice): No, that's not what I'm getting at.
Nabiki: Then what are you saying?
Senzuki (Voice): One of the people that booked in He wrote down his name as
Nabiki: As what?
Senzuki (Voice): As, "Ranma Saotome".
Nabiki stares at her phone for a few moments.
Senzuki (Voice): Um Hello?
Nabiki: Thank you. I'll talk to you later
Nabiki turns her phone off and places it back on her nightstand. She narrows her eyes and wonders what to do next.
Nabiki: So Ranma is finally back in Japan The ball is in my court now But what should I do with it? What to do? Sigh It's too early in the morning to plan schemes to make money
Nabiki sighs. She knows what she would usually do. Sell this information to the highest bidder Yet she can't bring herself to go back into 'old habits'. She remembered what Shadow Cat told her She has to change her ways But can she?
End Chapter 48
Next Time: Ranma goes off to meet his mother and he brings Britanny and Sheila with him! Nabiki also starts to investigate into Ranma's reappearance.
Author's Note: Well, this time, I had help once more. Shadow Cat wanted some dream sequencing, and God dang, I liked his ideas! So thanks to Shadow Cat for helping me write this chapter. Hopefully, I can do the next one without more ideas. I need to get the story moving quickly!
I would like to share a little information. This chapter has some friends of mine in it, as a way to say, "Thanks for all of your support." Here are the characters that were in this chapter.
Shadow Cat = Shadow Cat. An anime fanfic author, cat fancier extraordinaire, an interesting guy when it comes to pok girls, and a man that offers many a good suggestions for Broken Hearts Combined.
Gendo Saotome = Leonardo Castro. An anime fanfic author, and man with a quite interesting life Writer of such fics as, "Pluto's Son", "To Love a Cabbit Girl", and "Why me?" among other titles.
-This is RedPriest17, signing off.
Authors' Notes and such frivolities: ^_^
Well, that's more from me. Where do these things keep coming from? And how am I guessing what Red is doing? I don't know. God help me I don't know.
Oh, well that's my life. Hope you enjoyed this.
1) A good and bad Yoda impersonation. Feh.
2) I'm not that forgiving an author or person. Sides if I didn't do it Red would.
3) As Bast was saying there are three important things you should know.
A) Don't Piss off a God(dess) (common sense really)
B) Don't Endanger Children in front of motherly goddesses (common sense)
C) And especially 'don't' piss Bast off (*) 4) Obvious cheesy French accent. As if you can't tell. Followed by a poor imitation of the Jusenkyo Guide.
5) I subscribe to the belief that the reason Kasumi seems oblivious is that she is constantly in control of libido 3 times that of Happi, or roughly 75% of that of Brianna Diggers. Hey that's me. I'm entitled to my opinion. Besides it's always the quiet ones. *You see. You would rather piss off Sehkmet than Bastet. Sehkmet would simply kill you in a most gruesome and drawn out fashion. Bast on the other hand will make you life hell. Your love life will be non-existent. You'll find small dead animals no matter where you go. (Home, Office, Car, Bed, Work.) You'll suffer all sort of nasty little things. And that's only the tip of the iceberg. I'd rather just be killed viciously than suffer a lifetime of that. But that's me.
If your curious to the stuff at the end of 'Werecats of Nerima'. Here's the answer key:
One was Toltirr. Two was Setsuna (Sailor Pluto). It was after the fact, I learned she does have a role in BHC. But I ain't saying more than that. So tough cookies. (Sides I know not the details.)
Three was 'Tiny Toons', specifically Little Plucky.
Four was Yuri Yuri.
Five is still a secret. But it ain't this that's for sure.
Ciaow!
-Shadow Cat, Harbinger of Chaos
Send your questions and comments to Ryutsurugi
Note: Flames will be read and then used as lining for Charlotte's birdcage./pre