Hi :) Thanks for all the reviews etc. Quicker update than normal :) I should really be studying for my exams but oh well. Here's chapter 13 :) For suggestions etc: tumblr: manonnaya. tumblr and twitter: NayaPLL. I'm such a loser on Tumblr because I have absolutely no idea how it works but I do follow back haha :) Okay enjoy :) The song Santana sings is Another Love from Tom Odell :) Fanfiction does not allow links I'm sorry :)
Deep brown eyes sought blue ones after the blonde's last comment. Santana's lips curled into a small but sincere smile and Brittany smiled shyly back. All that she wanted was to lean in and taste those plump lips on hers again, but she still didn't know where they were standing. Yes, Santana was making progress and opening up to her, but still deep down, she was still terrified. What had happened with Jenna and her parents must have crushed Santana. Hell, it would crush anyone. Getting abandoned by the persons she loved the most is a devastating thing. Santana's eyes had shifted from Brittany's eyes back onto the sea.
"Have you heard anything from Jenna after that day?" Brittany asked. Her curiosity was getting the best of her.
"Yes. After she had dumped me so openly, she regained even more popularity than before. After all she tamed the famous heartbreaker Santana Lopez and broke her heart in the meantime. It made her famous, at least in school. She became the new head bitch at school and I sunk deeper into depression. Luckily I had Puck and Quinn to help me through. Jenna started dating that stupid cheerleader and I was alone. I never talked to her again after her last words. She got everything that she wanted, popularity at school, a girlfriend and a scholarship at Yale. And I got nothing. So no, I haven't heard anything from her." Santana said.
"And have you heard anything from your parents?" Brittany asked quietly. She knew that Santana was calling her mom a couple days ago, but she wanted her to tell Brittany because she wanted to, not because she already knew.
"Yes. My dad actually apologized a lot. He called me a lot after I got thrown out of the house. He sent me a thousand of texts saying that he was sorry, begging for me to meet him or to answer his calls."
"Did you answer him?"
"At first, I didn't. I was pissed. He could have stopped my mom. He could have stopped her from throwing me out of the house, but he didn't. My mom is a powerful woman. She has always been. She is a CEO of this huge company and a lot of employees are terrified of her. If you think I have a temper, you should meet my mom. She's twice as bad as me, perhaps even worse. And my dad on the other hand, is this quiet, calm guy who does everything that my mom wants. I know that and I knew that back then too, but I just couldn't forgive him for what he had done back then. But after a lot of texts, he suddenly showed up at school. I didn't know what to do. I still was pissed at him, but I missed him so bad. So I threw myself in his arms."
Brittany smiled. There was still some happiness to this story.
"After that, we got lunch. He apologized a million times. Then he asked me how I was doing. I explained the whole situation that I was spending at his brother's house. I begged my uncle to not tell my dad. He finally understood and promised me to not to tell him. My dad was relieved that I lived in a good house and not somewhere on the street. When we first were talking, I didn't want to hear anything about my mom, so he didn't say anything about her. But then my dad begged me to call him at least one time a week. He looked so sad. You should know that my dad has a serious case of puppy eyes. And so I gave in. I did call him a lot. And then we met up a few times during my senior year and one day, I got too curious and I asked him about mom. He told me that he got really pissed when she kicked me out. He lost his temper and it takes a lot to make my dad lose his temper. I only saw it once when I accidentally made this huge drawing on the wall. But anyway, he got furious and he even dared to say that if she wouldn't apologize, he would divorce her. Apparently, she then cried, saying sorry. And my dad believed her. She even promised him that she would make things good with me again."
"And did she?" Brittany asked.
"No, at least not at first. My dad wanted to leave her, but he still loved her and I told him not to get divorced over me."
"Why did you do that?" Brittany asked. That seemed weird. Santana could have moved in with her dad again after they got divorced, right? She could have a normal house again? With family and everything, the way that it's supposed to be.
"Back then, I already decided to move to Chicago. And I knew that my dad loved my mom very much. I didn't want him to leave her just to make me happy. I convinced him to give my mom another chance. And he did. But it was all in vain. A month after I had moved to Chicago, my dad called my for his weekly update, he told me that they were getting a divorce. He couldn't live with a woman who had kicked out her own daughter just because she was gay. They got divorced and my dad moved out. Just a year later, he met someone else, some woman named Carol. They are so happy. I met Carol when I went to visit my dad and she's such a sweet woman. So I'm happy for him."
"Your dad seems like an amazing guy."
Santana smiled. "He really is. He still calls every week to check up on me."
"That's sweet." Brittany said.
"Yeah, I wish I could say that about my mom."
"Did you hear anything from her?"
"Yes. Five years after I came out and she kicked me out, I was back in my hometown. I was visiting my dad and when I was buying groceries, I saw her. I literally froze when I saw her. My feet didn't seem to be working anymore. I remember praying to God that she wouldn't see me, but she did. She came up to me." Santana stopped to take in a breath. This was killing her.
"She apologized. She fucking apologized. After five years she apologized. And the worst part was that if I wasn't in that groceries shop that day, I don't think she would have apologized. She just felt guilty when she saw me and that's why she apologized."
"What did you say after?" Brittany asked.
"I just walked away. I didn't need to hear her fucking apologize for something that she had done five years ago and not once thought about apologizing for before. I didn't own her anything. So I just walked away. But then she called me dad and begged him to give her my cell phone number. My mom was a great actress, and my dad gave in. She called me even more than my dad and some part of me did want to know what she had to say. Some part of me wanted to restore whatever relationship we had. I missed my mom I guess. So I met up with her. She apologized and I was so happy in that moment. But then she shoved some pamphlets in my hands."
"What did those pamphlets say?"
"They were all basically the same. It went from So you "think" you are gay? to Reforming camp for confused kids with confused feelings."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. I couldn't believe that she would actually do something like that. And I couldn't believe that I was so stupid to believe that she actually changed. That she actually accepted me for the way I am. But it was all a sick trick to make me change who I am. And since that day, I promised myself that I would never ever meet her again. She screwed up."
"Does she still try to contact you?"
"Yes. Most of the times, I try to ignore her but lately she found the button to call privately so my cell phone doesn't recognize her number so I can't ignore her. She begs me to visit home again, but I just don't see it happen. Not now, not ever."
Brittany glanced over at Santana, whose eyes were still a little teary.
"I'm so sorry about everything that happened with you, Santana. I wish there was something I could do." Brittany mumbled.
"Thank you, Brittany. I really appreciate it. But you just being here is good enough. I'm glad I finally told someone my whole story."
"Am I the first one you told it to?" Brittany asked and her heart skipped a beat.
"Yes. I mean, Puck knows a lot of the story, but I never told him the full story of Jenna because back then it hurt too much. Those wounds heal slowly and I was ashamed."
"Why were you ashamed?"
Santana glanced away, staring at the ground. "Jenna used me. And I believed her. I was so naïve. I thought Puck was going to think I was pathetic for how I believed her. Not once did I doubt her intentions. I felt stupid. So I was ashamed."
"You shouldn't have been."
"I know, Britt. But I was young and stupid and mostly stubborn." Santana let out a small laugh.
"I'm really happy that you decided to share this with me, Santana." Brittany stated proud. She was indeed proud that Santana finally decided to let her a little bit in.
"So am I, Brittany. But can I ask you a question too?"
Brittany nodded. "Sure."
Santana hesitated but then asked anyway. "Why did you hire me? I mean, you're hot. You could have snagged any guy in a bar. Why all the effort and payment?"
"Because I don't like using people. I still wasn't over Sam. Using a guy to fake-date him without him knowing, just seemed wrong to me. And plus, I knew that me having a girlfriend would make Sam even more jealous than normal. He never got that I was bisexual. It made him pissed when I would check out guys and girls. I think he just felt threatened with the double of the competition he had now." Brittany laughed.
"Oh okay. I get it. You didn't want to use anyone and then dump him or her when you perhaps would want to get back together with Sam."
"Yes."
"Okay cool, I guess."
"Yeah." Brittany trailed off. She really didn't know what else to say. And neither did Santana, or so it seems. So they sat like that, in silence. Staring at the sun that was now halfway descending into the sea. The peace of that moment made Brittany giddy inside. Normally, silences with other people were awkward, but not with Santana. It was a serene and almost perfect moment, shared with two people who didn't need words at this moment to feel in sync with each other. After the sun had disappeared under the see, and it was getting quite dark, Santana pushed herself upright on her hands. She then reached out her own hand to help Brittany. The moment their fingers grazed, Brittany's breath hitched. A current of electricity ran through the brunette's fingers all the way until Brittany's. Blue eyes sought brown ones to see if she felt it too. And the brown eyes were already staring right back at her. She felt it too. The eye contact was intense and Brittany felt herself sink again into those brown eyes. Santana swallowed hard and broke eye contact. She pulled Brittany up onto her feet, but Brittany sat herself upright too. That way, both of their faces were only mere inches apart. Brittany looked up at brown eyes, but they weren't looking back. The brunette's brown eyes were staring at the taller girl lips for a split second before they flashed up again to the blue ones. Brittany wanted to lean in, but she didn't want to pressure Santana. Some part of her was finally letting Brittany in, and she'd be damned to screw this up now. Yes, she was still going to chase Santana, but not now. Not after Santana had opened up so much of her history. That would only freak her out. But Brittany couldn't look away either. She was frozen, locked in the intense eye contact. In reality the moment probably lasted for about two seconds, but it felt like hours. The corner of the blonde's lips raised in a small smile. Santana flashed her deep brown eyes one more time to Brittany's small lips before taking a small step, breaking the tension and with that, the moment. She then awkwardly coughed, trying to mask the tension, but failing in the process.
"Well, we should really go take a shower or something." Santana mumbled and trailed off at the end of her sentence.
"Yeah, that's fine by me. Oh, one more thing, though, Santana. I don't want you to sleep in Quinn's room anymore."
Santana laughed. "Oh, Britt. You are so jealous."
"Wait, what? No, I'm not." Brittany tried. Who was she kidding? She was jealous. All she could think about when she saw those two together was the fact that they had kissed. Okay, it was a drunken kiss and Quinn is straight, but that didn't change the images in Brittany's head. She could see those two kissing in her head and yes it made her feel jealous.
"Oh, you so are. But it's okay, Britt. I'll sleep with you in your bed again. I knew you missed me anyway."
"I'm not jealous. I just don't want people to become suspicious. What if they see you leave Quinn's room in the morning? They'll ask questions."
"Whatever you believe, Brittany. Let's just say you're jealous and then I'll come back."
"What? Seriously?"
"Yes. I need you to say that you're jealous. Only then, I'll come back." Santana smirked.
"You're being really childish, you do know that, right?" Brittany said.
"Oh, but I'm not the jealous one here, am I?" Santana poked in Brittany's stomach and she jerked away, laughing.
"Just admit it, Brittany." Santana laughed.
Brittany thought about it. She really was jealous. And if she admitted this now, Santana would sleep in her bed again. And that was what Brittany wanted, right? She would wake up next to Santana. She would be the first and last thing she saw in the morning. She might as well admit that she was jealous of Quinn for now.
"Fine. I'm jealous." Brittany whispered.
"I didn't quite catch that? Could you repeat that a little louder maybe?" Santana smirked. Oh, she had heard her just fine.
"I'm jealous of Quinn, okay? You two kissed and I don't like that you two sleep in the same bed." Brittany yelled a little louder, annoyed.
Santana laughed. "I knew it. That wasn't too hard now, was it?" Santana poked Brittany in the stomach playfully again and Brittany swatted her hand away.
"Shut up." She mumbled.
"You are jealous. You are jealous." Santana sang quietly.
"Shut up. Oh, that reminds me. You do know that you challenged Rachel to a singing contest right?" Brittany teased.
"What? She doesn't take that stuff seriously, does she?"
"She does. She has probably been planning the whole thing in her head. Apparently she found some bar in the city nearby where you can sing. And there's a piano so that you or someone else can play."
A whine escaped Santana's plump lips.
"I was joking. Well, I wasn't but I just wanted her to shut up about Barbra shit or something like that. She was way too cocky for her own good."
"Oh, and you weren't cocky yourself." Brittany smirked.
"No, because I'm actually pretty amazing at singing. She better gets prepared because I'll beat her ass." Santana laughed.
"Fine. Rachel did tell me that she wanted the whole showdown to happen tomorrow, but I'm sure she'll come take to you and challenge you publicly."
"Fine." Santana grunted.
They walked back to the houses, chatting about music, sports and other random stuff. When they arrived at the houses, they saw Rachel there, sitting on a bench in front of her house. When she saw the duo, she stood up and walked frantically to them.
"Just the people I was looking for. Hi, Brittany and Santana."
"Hi Rachel." Brittany answered chirpy back.
"Hi." Santana spoke back, a little hesitant.
"So, Santana. As Brittany might have told you, I take singing challenges very seriously. And since you challenged me to a duel, I'll happily accept it. I now give you my conditions: the sing-off happens at three o' clock tomorrow in this bar that I tracked down. They have a piano there and a guitar, so you could ask Puck to help you out with the instruments."
"I can play the piano myself so I don't need Puck."
"Oh, that's great. You are multi-talented. I like that. So anyway, I hope you find a good song, because you might not know it, but your song choice makes half of the performance already. I hope you think very hard about your song choice and then I'll see you tomorrow. Could you excuse me now? I'm going to practice my voice. Bye guys."
Rachel spun on her feet and walked away, taking too big steps for her short legs to handle.
Brittany laughed. "You are so going down, Santana."
"Not a chance." Santana laughed.
The next day, Brittany woke up next to Santana again. She couldn't help but smile when she glanced over at the brunette next to her, so peaceful and serene. After Rachel had left them, they both took a shower and joined the rest of the group to eat dinner. She didn't talk to Santana that much anymore. She was sitting next to Rachel, who couldn't shut up about the whole challenge. Brittany had been contemplating the whole dinner whether to shove a potato into Rachel's mouth or just scream at her. She went for neither and just tried to block out Rachel's whining, but it didn't work. Rachel just kept babbling on and on. Brittany had seen Santana talking to Puck and yes, she did have to admit, even though she knew that Santana was gay, it still made her a little bit jealous. Brittany sighed. Since when was she the jealous type? In the relationship with Sam, she would hardly ever get jealous. He was always the jealous type, mostly at guys who she would dance with. His face would always turn pale when they came a little bit too close.
After dinner, they went to bed early because no one was recovered from their hangover.
Santana had mumbled a quiet goodnight to Brittany, but that was it. No fights or weird tensions, just sleeping next to each other in peace. Santana suddenly opened her eyes and Brittany quickly averted her eyes, trying to mask the fact that she had been staring at her, while she was sleeping.
"Good morning." Santana mumbled with a sexy morning voice. How the hell did she pull it off? Nobody's morning voice sounds sexy, but Santana's voice was even lower than normal in the morning.
"Good morning San. Are you ready for your competition today?"
Santana grunted loud and smashed her head back into the fluffy pillow.
"Shut up."
Brittany laughed loud. Teasing Santana had become one of her favorite things to do lately. Brittany got dressed in the bathroom and when she stepped back into the bedroom, Santana was still lying in her bed, face down into the pillow.
"Get your lazy ass up, San. I'm hungry and I want some breakfast."
"You can get breakfast here. We can eat in our bed, Britt. Please. I'm hungry too but I'm tired. I want to eat in bed. Please?" Santana pleaded.
"I'm not your bitch, Santana. You can get your own food." Brittany stated.
"But you're not getting it only for me. We can eat together here in bed. And you get the food today and I'll get it tomorrow. Deal?" Santana pleaded again.
Brittany grunted loud. "Fine. But I swear to God, Santana, when I wake up tomorrow morning and there isn't a huge breakfast here, I'll be pissed, okay?" Brittany stated.
"Yeah, yeah, sure." Santana mumbled and she plopped her head back into the pillow.
Brittany stood up and got breakfast. She grabbed some cornflakes, oatmeal and some bread. She even made some coffee and brought everything on a big plate into their bedroom. Santana still hadn't moved. She was still in her pajama shorts, under the blankets.
"You still haven't moved?"
Santana smirked. "No, I knew you would bring me food anyway."
"I'm too good for you, you do know that right?" Brittany joked.
"Yes, I know." Santana whispered and Brittany could swear she heard a sad undertone under her voice.
"Come on, let's eat." Brittany said while she placed the plate full of breakfast in front of the brunette. She immediately grabbed a bowl of cereal and started eating.
"Have you figured out which song you are going to sing?" Brittany asked curiously.
"Yes. I have in fact. I don't think Rachel will like my song choice, but hell I don't even care. It's nothing from Broadway or something like that."
"Can I know which song it is?"
"No." Santana smirked.
"Seriously? You aren't going to tell me your song?"
"No."
"Aw come on. Just say it. Please?" Brittany pleaded.
"No, Britt. And don't pout. You know I suck at denying your pout."
"That's why I'm doing it. Come on. Just tell me."
"Patience is a good virtue, Brittany. You'll see it at three."
"Fine." Brittany grunted.
"Don't be sad, you." Santana threw a piece of cereal against Brittany's temple.
"Did you just throw cereal at me?"
Santana laughed loud. "Yes, I did."
Brittany grabbed a piece of cereal in her hands and threw it back at Santana. She however, moved fast and grabbed the piece of cereal right between her lips. She swallowed the cereal and smirked.
"Okay. I actually love this game." Santana said. She motioned for Brittany to catch the cereal. Brittany laughed. It had been such a while since she played this game. Santana threw the first piece and Brittany failed miserably, ending in the first piece hitting her nose. Brittany rubbed her nose as she heard Santana laugh.
"You are supposed to throw it better. That was too hard to catch."
"Okay, fine. I'll try better."
Santana grabbed a second piece and this time Brittany succeeded in catching it in her mouth.
"Awesome." Brittany grinned wide and Santana reciprocated her smile.
They finished the rest of their breakfast. After that, they went outside, deciding that it might be time for them to actually get out of their room. They came across Tina and Mike, who asked them to play some poker. They played that for some time and Puck and Quinn joined them. But soon enough it was already half past two and Rachel was informing everyone that the show off was going to happen in a half hour. Santana grunted loud.
"Are you afraid that you're going to lose?"
"Puh-lease. That hobbit doesn't even know what is about to hit her."
They all got in the cars, a little more packed than usual and drove to the café. It was called 'The Lab'. And Brittany had to admit; it was a pretty cool name. It had a cool ring to it, the Lab. The café however wasn't nearly as cool as his name. It was one of those old, brown cafés that smell like wood. The bar was made out wood indeed and the whole bar was dark. There weren't a lot of windows so it was pretty dark inside. The bartender was small, grey man who seemed friendly. There weren't a lot of customers in the café. In the corner were two men sharing a beer and that was it. Rachel however hadn't lied. In the corner of the café was in fact a piano and a microphone. The whole group grabbed some chairs while Rachel went over to the bartender to talk to him, probably to ask him if they could use the microphones and the piano. Brittany saw the old man nodding and Rachel happily walked back to them.
"Good afternoon everyone. You all are here for one reason. To see the sing-off between Santana Lopez and me. I must admit, it has been a while since anyone has challenged me to a sing-off, but I, of course, accepted the challenge. We will now flip a coin to see who has the honor of going first. Who wins, goes first. Then the second person goes and then the group will vote. I have to ask you guys to vote for whoever sang their song better, not for the one you like better." Rachel glared at Brittany.
"Are there any crazy rules, Berry?" Santana asked.
"No, Santana. There aren't. Just sing." Rachel reached into her pocket and held out a coin in front of her.
"Heads or tails?" Rachel asked while she stared at Santana. Rachel was really doing this seriously.
"Heads." Santana stared back.
Rachel threw the coin up and the whole group hoped to catch a glance of the coin.
"Tails." Rachel spoke.
Santana motioned for Rachel to take the microphone.
"Puck, can you help me out?" Rachel asked Puck.
"Sure." He nodded and he went over to the piano. He sat down and stared at Rachel.
"Hello, my name is Rachel Berry." Rachel started.
"Don't we already know that?" Santana whispered into Brittany's ear.
"She always like to introduce herself before a performance. I don't know why, but she always does that." Brittany whispered back.
The both of them got a glare of Rachel because they were talking and Brittany remained quiet.
"So if some of you would like to remain quiet now, I can actually sing my song. Hi, I'm Rachel Berry and I'll be singing New York State Of Mind. Written by Billy Joel, popularized by one miss Barbra Streisand." Puck then started to play on the piano. Brittany was impressed. He was really good. And then Rachel started singing:
Some folks like to get away
Take a holiday from the neighborhood
Hop a flight to Miami Beach or to Hollywood
But I'm taking a greyhound
On the Hudson River line
I'm in a New York state of mind
Brittany was once again amazed by Rachel's voice. It was powerful but still beautiful. And she loved to watch Rachel perform. It was where she belonged.
It comes down to reality
And it's fine with me
Cause I let it slide
Brittany looked over at Santana, who was staring at Rachel, truly impressed.
I don't have any reasons
I left them all behind
I'm in a New York State of mind
Rachel smiled out and Puck was playing a little tune on his piano. He really was a good pianist.
I'm in a New York state of mind
Rachel held onto the last note until Brittany got goose bumps on her arms.
"Okay, I have to admit. She's pretty amazing." Santana whispered in Brittany's ear and she shuddered. Santana's hot breath air in her ear gave Brittany goose bumps too.
"I told you, didn't I?"
"Yes you did. Well I guess I have to go now too."
Brittany leaned over at Santana and placed a feather light kiss on the girl's cheek. Santana flushed and got up to the stage.
"Hi. I'm going to sing a song for my girlfriend Brittany." Santana stared right into Brittany's eyes.
"She's everything I could ever dream of." Santana said and she averted her eyes from Brittany's.
Santana sat herself behind the piano and took a deep breath in. She started playing notes. Brittany didn't even know that Santana could play the piano and she smiled. After a small intro, Santana started to sing:
I want to take you somewhere so you know I care
But it's so cold and I don't know where
I brought you daffodils in a pretty string
But they won't flower like they did last spring
Brittany stared in awe at Santana. Her voice was perfection. Pure perfection.
And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright
I'm just so tired to share my nights
I wanna cry and I wanna love
But all my tears have been used up
Santana was staring right at Brittany and even though they weren't alone at all, the moment felt so intimate. Santana, finally averting her eyes from Brittany, looked gorgeous. She was so concentrated on the song and on the piano.
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
The song hit Brittany so close to home. It felt like Santana was saying sorry for being so closed up about Jenna and everything.
And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight
But my hands been broken, one too many times
So I'll use my voice, I'll be so fucking rude
Words they always win, but I know I'll lose
And I'd sing a song, that'd be just ours
But I sang 'em all to another heart
And I wanna cry I wanna learn to love
But all my tears have been used up
Brittany saw Santana's eyes tearing up. She seemed so fragile, vulnerable even. But she sound amazing. Her voice was low and sultry but had a sweet undertone.
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
I wanna sing a song, that'd be just ours
But I sang 'em all to another heart
And I wanna cry, I wanna fall in love
But all my tears have been used up
Brittany suddenly felt tears run over her cheeks too. She didn't even know that she was crying.
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
Santana ended her song and her tears were now running freely over her cheeks. And Brittany's cheeks were wet from her tears too. The song was so beautiful. It felt so perfect for their situation. It just seemed like an explanation why Santana couldn't seem to open up. And for now, that was enough. Brittany ran over at Santana, placed her hands on the sides of Santana's face and kissed the brunette full on the lips.
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