Well, here's another chapter. Also, this one contains some Japanese, but I got it from Google Translate (it's been a while since my last Japanese class. Two years, I think).

My Girlfriend, Yuffie
Chapter 2: In Which I Freak Out

Oh, God. What do I do? WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?! A fictional character is passed out on my floor! Public school did not prepare me for this!

Okay, okay, calm down, just get a hold of yourself. Treat her like an ordinary person who's passed out on your floor.

Well, that's only marginally better.

To be honest with you, the only thing I can think of doing is getting her somewhere she can sleep. You'll note how I avoided the whole 'getting her into bed' trap. My mind's dirty enough to know what not to say and when not to say it.

Gingerly, I pick her up and escort her to my bedroom. She groans a little again, but I ignore it as I carefully place her on my bed, tucking her under the quilt.

Okay, okay, what else is she gonna need when she wakes up? Probably…pain meds! She'll probably have a headache that feels like the Blitz when she comes around. I grab a sheet of paracetamol and cut off a set of two tablets, then pour a glass of lukewarm water. Quietly, I place the two on the bedside table and walk out, closing the door behind me with barely any noise, a fact I am very proud of.

Okay. Yuffie Kisaragi is sleeping/out cold in my bed. So where am I gonna sleep?

I go for the obvious choice. The sofa. My back's gonna hurt like a mo-fo in the morning, but, hell, somebody's KO'd in my bedroom, I think it's worth the risk.

I grab some spare sheets from the laundry, then go out to the sofa, commandeering some pillows that have been lying around for no reason since the last time Marcus and my few other friends had convinced me to let them have a D&D session at my place (for those wondering, I didn't play).

With that organised, I put my head on the pillow and try to sleep.

I'd finally gotten to sleep when a shrill scream jostled me. That was definitely Yuffie.

Man, it still feels weird to say that.

I get up and bolt for my bedroom. The door's still closed, so there's that. Behind it, though, I can hear Yuffie ranting half in English and half in Japanese (I assume she speaks it because Japan's FFVII counterpart is Wutai).

"Oh, Leviathan!" she's saying. "What do I…Doo shimashita ka?* Where am I? Whose room… Oh, no. Watashi wa dare ka sakuya to issho ni ie ni iku no desu ka?"**

Quietly, I open the door. Even then it must startle her, because she yells out incoherently and adopts a martial arts stance.

"Whoa, whoa, take it easy! You passed out!" I defend myself.

Her hands fall as she looks at me with wide hazel eyes. "Big G?"

I blink. "Big what-now?"

"It's you!" Yuffie squeals, moving forward and hugging me tightly.

What the hell is going on? "Er…"

"Don't you remember me?" she pouts, pulling back from the hug.

"How could I forget you, Yuffie?" I say reflexively, not even thinking of the possible contexts.

A brushing of pink appears on her cheeks and she hugs me again. "Yay! I knew you wouldn't!"

Now I'm the one who's blushing.

Yuffie pulls back and cradles her head slightly. "Nande?*** Why does my head hurt so much?"

"I told you, you passed out. Here." I grab the pain pills and water I'd left for her the night before and hand them to her.

"Aww, you're so sweet." She takes the pills out of the foil wrapping (or whatever it's called) before popping them into her mouth, washing them down with a massive gulp of water.

I take this opportunity to covertly look her up and down (hey, I'm a teenage boy, of course I'm gonna look). She looks exactly like Marcus' portrait of her in the sim, being much more curvaceous than she was in the games or movie. She's nowhere near a match for Tifa, but damn.

Yuffie finishes guzzling the water and smirks at me. "Enjoying the view?"

My eyes widen and I blush even deeper. "U-uhh," I mumble, looking for a change in subject. "W-where did you get 'Big G' from?"

"Oh, I just figured, you called yourself Gohan, and you're a tall dude, so…Big G."

She's got a point there.

"So…what exactly is goin' on here, Big G?" Yuffie asks. "Why am I in your house? I mean, apart from the whole passing out thing. How did I get here in the first place?"

I take a deep breath. Guess I've gotta bite the bullet here, huh? "Well…where I come from – well, here, really – you're…" I gulp. "A fictional character."

Her eyes widen. "Whaa?"

"As in a video game character."

"Ooh! Am I a daring heroine? Do I get the guy in the end?"

"Um…sorta, yeah, and no. In that order."

"Oh." She seems crestfallen.

"Anyway, when we…met before, that was because of this program my friend created." God, this is hard to explain. "He had a…database of all these characters from some of my favourite games, and…I picked you."

Her eyes narrow. "Was Boobs on this list?"

"If you mean Tifa, yes. Also Aerith."

There's a slight glint in Yuffie's hazel eyes now. "So…you picked me…over Tifa?"

I think I might be blushing now. "Uhh…y-yeah. Besides, she belongs with Cloud."

The (previously fictional) ninja squeals and hugs me.

"Um. Not that I'm not grateful for the hug and all, but…why?"

"Three reasons. One: I agree with you; Boobs and Spiky belong together. Two: You picked me over her. Three: You're cute when you blush."

That only makes me blush harder.

"Okay then. If I'm a fictional character here, that means you're the only one I know." Thank you for the obvious info, Yuffie. "Guess that means I hafta stay here with you."

"I guess so. Problem is I have no spare bedroom, and trust me…" Here I groan and put a hand on my back. "…you don't wanna sleep on the couch."

"I know. That's why we're gonna share a bed."

I arch an eyebrow in a gesture that would make The Rock proud. "Formerly-fictional-cutie say what?"

Even now she blushed a little at the compliment. "It makes sense. You gotta admit that."

"Yes, I suppose it's logical. But, Yuffie, we've known each other face-to-face for about an hour."

She shrugs. "I don't really care. For some reason I really think we…just…click. Like it was meant to happen."

I gulp a little. "Are you suggesting that maybe you were created for the sole purpose of eventually crossing over into this world and being my girlfriend?"

She poked at her lower lip as she pouted, a cute gesture if ever there was one. "Pretty much, yeah."

Well, shit.

Translations:

* = What happened?

** = Did I go home with someone last night? (A/N: I think. It's been a while since I wrote that bit)

*** = What?