Absolution

by Lalaith Quetzalli

-AU to Nightingale.- She made a choice once: to always stand by him. When his breakdown after discovering his true origins threatens to destroy him from within, it is time to make another choice: to let things be as they may… or reveal herself and risk it all for a chance to save him. In the end, there was really no choice to make. -Rewrite to the end of Thor.- LokiOFC

2. Test

Some people have asked for it, so this chapter has some Loki POV, the last scene to be precise. It is part of the chapter and will also include his thoughts on how and why he fell in love with Nightingale (for those who want to know more about that).

Also, I'm warning already that there is a level of torture in this chapter, akin in some ways to a certain scene in "The Last Song" in "Nightingale". It's not too graphic, I don't think, but still. And the 'Test' is based on something I read in a fic, and believe actually appeared in the original Thor comic (not like I've actually read it but anyway...).

Enjoy!

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Test

Some say life is full of tests, others that life itself is a test; whichever the case, I'm not afraid.

I stumbled a bit as we landed on the circular metallic looking room; might have fallen if it weren't for Thor's hand on my arm. He held me long enough to make sure I'd gotten my footing, then focused on the figure laying on the floor by the dais with a big sword in the middle: he was black-skinned, tall and wore golden armor: Heimdall.

"Get him to a healing room!" Thor ordered his companions instantly.

"Wait!" I called as I focused once again. "I can help."

I tripped a bit, still not in all my senses after traveling from one realm to another; I also felt strangely breathless, as if some kind of energy were reaching to me, not quite touching me yet, but it was just a matter of time…

"What can you do?" Fandral inquired, confused.

I didn't answer, I had trouble focusing on more than one thing at a time, so instead I got into action, dropping to the floor beside the fallen man. I reached into my handbag which, thankfully, I still had strapped to my waist. I pulled out an even smaller, protected bag from it, full with half a dozen glass vials. Two were bigger than the others, and I took one of those out.

"What's that?" Sif inquired, curious.

"Healing elixir." I answered half-absently as I uncorked it and pushed it to Heimdall's lips. "It's really the dust of one healing stone mixed with the purest water found on Earth. It being in liquid form allows for a better healing of internal injuries; which really isn't possible usually with the stones. The vials are spelled to allow it to keep its properties as long as they remain corked; also, I am the only one who can uncork them."

"Ingenious." Fandral admitted.

"Loki made them." I pointed out with satisfaction.

The blonde blinked a few times, obviously not having expected that. Hogun just shook his head, he could obviously see what I was doing, or trying to do.

"We still need to get to Loki." Thor reminded me.

"Yes." I nodded.

As fast as I could I got my things together again and rushed after him; what I never expected was what happened the moment I stepped outside the arrival room of the Bifrost. It was as if the tidal wave of energy that I'd been feeling brushing against me suddenly had nothing holding it back anymore; and the moment it actually touched me it pulled me down, literally. I couldn't help the loud gasp as my legs stopped holding me, my body pretty much folded upon itself and I hugged myself tightly, as if trying to force my body to retain its shape against the force of the feeling overtaking me all of a sudden.

"Lady Nightingale!" Thor called loudly.

Had it been any other moment, any other situation, I might have wondered at the fact that he was so easily accepting my other name and what it was supposed to mean; in that moment all I could think about was the river of power drowning me, and the most likely origin of it.

"Loki…" I gasped, forcing myself to speak through it all. "Thor…you have to hurry… Loki… we're losing him…"

"Lady Nightingale…?" Thor and Volstagg inquired at the same time, confused.

"I can feel… him…" I had no idea how to even begin to explain it right, there was so much to feel, so much to deal with. "So much… so awful… Loki… he's losing himself… you have to hurry… Thor please!"

I had no idea if I'd been clear enough, but judging how he nodded seriously at me before turning around I judged it had been enough.

"Bring her as soon as you can." The prince ordered as he left. "I will find Loki!"

"Please… hurry!" I insisted in a gasp.

Thor nodded once more at me before running in the direction of the palace.

As I turned a bit to the other side I noticed that Heimdall seemed to be recovering, and Volstagg wasn't as injured as it had seemed at first. In any case neither of them seemed in much of a hurry to get to the healing houses. Hogun stood by them, observing the slain Jotun a few feet away, while Fandral knelt beside me, Sif behind him.

"Are you alright?" The blonde inquired quietly.

"I… I don't know…" I admitted. "I'd… never… felt this much…"

I kept taking deep breaths, forcing my body to take in everything Loki was letting out, accepting it instead of fighting the tidal wave of power and emotion. I needed to adapt, to deal with the outpour and find the way to function again; otherwise my insistence to have Thor take me to Asgard would be for nothing.

It took a few more minutes but eventually I got well enough to get back on my feet with some help from Fandral. By then Hogun had arranged for some horses; which was good as there was no way I would have ever made it to the palace walking.

Fandral was helping me onto a horse, about to get behind it himself (as he probably guessed I didn't know how to ride) when I spoke again.

"I know the kind of 'fame' you have, 'Fandral the Dashing'." I told him in my most serious voice. "But my only interest here is in regards to Loki. Alright?"

"Perfectly, my lady." He nodded, respectfully.

I nodded, allowing him to jump onto the horse behind me.

"I cannot see you." Heimdall said suddenly.

I turned to him, for a moment wondering what he was talking about.

"You're right here, in front of me, and I still cannot see you." He insisted.

Then I understood what he meant. Loki had mentioned it once or twice, actually; how he'd placed a spell on me, to occlude me from Heimdall's eyes, to make sure neither he nor anyone else in Asgard would ever know about our connection. Well… I did always know that they would be finding out someday (even if, back then, I could have never planned that it would be I making the big reveal myself, and certainly not in the current circumstances).

"And yet you've seen so much…" I whispered, only half knowing myself what prompted those words. "Enough to judge things, people, you could never begin to understand…"

"Loki…" He spoke in realization.

"Loki." I agreed, more calmly than I actually felt, showing off my deamarkonian.

"How can we trust the chosen match of the one responsible for the chaos and danger we're all currently in?" He demanded.

"The way I see it, if Loki were the evil bastard you're trying to portray him as, why aren't you dead?" I asked in return. "On the other hand, if Loki is still, right on this moment, your King, why are your actions so treacherously against him?"

That seemed to be enough to at least give him pause. Enough for me to use what little I'd once read about horse-riding (in an old, Victorian-romance novel, years prior) I held tight onto the animal with legs (mainly my thighs) and hands, trying not to pull on its hair, and then nudged it with a heel into motion. It ended galloping off faster and harder than I was expecting; thankfully Fandral was fast enough and good enough on a horse to keep both himself and myself from falling off the animal when it took off.

"You know, I don't think anyone has ever talked to Heimdall like that before." The blonde commented as we rushed down the bridge. "Questioning him… challenging him… I don't think anyone besides, maybe, the Allfather himself, would ever dare…"

"I tend to do that, or so I've been told." I said absentmindedly.

Loki had mentioned that a number of times, when I'd challenged my teachers when I believed they weren't being fair in their tests and such; and then there were my opinions concerning practically every single Asgardian who'd ever hurt my beloved in one way or another; which, in fact, included Heimdall, Fandral, Thor and even the Allfather, so…

"Can you really feel what Loki is feeling?" Fandral asked abruptly.

I just nodded, breathing deeply and unable to speak as another wave went through me. It was like I was suddenly hearing a voice in the wind:

"And your death came by the son of Odin…"

Such was my luck, that by the time we made it to the palace, it was too late already. Fandral guided me to a terrace where a beautiful woman in a golden gown was screaming two names:

"Loki! Thor!" She was obviously distressed.

"Your Majesty…" Fandral called respectfully as we arrived.

It took me a few seconds to fully process what I'd just heard, as I was still half-lost in the deep emotions Loki kept sending out. However, when I did I could only gasp… that was Queen Frigg?! That was the Queen of Asgard?! Loki's mother!

As she turned in my direction I dropped into a respectful curtsey before I was fully conscious of what I was doing (it didn't go very well, considering I was wearing jeans… but still, it was the intent that mattered, or so I hope). It was just instinctive, I didn't fully realize it, not until she was standing right in front of me, laying a hand on my head, and suddenly there was a flash of light and I could see over half a dozen colorful and intangible ribbons that seemed to originate behind me… or maybe even in me, only to get lost far behind the Queen.

"You're Loki's match…" Frigg gasped.

I blinked a number of times slowly as I fully processed what she'd just said. Really, it was the second time someone called me Loki's match and I still didn't know what it was supposed to mean. It wasn't an expression I was familiar with.

"You really don't know, do you?" she asked, a tinge of awe in her expression.

"I know how I feel." I admitted quietly, shy under the gaze of the powerful woman. "I do not presume to know how he feels…"

"The fact that these…" she signaled to the ribbons still floating around me. "exist, is proof enough that your feelings are reciprocated."

Knowing that, feeling deep down that she was telling the absolute truth, did more to allay any fears that might exist inside me than anything else she or anyone else might have said or done.

"Might I know your name, young lady?" Lady Frigg inquired.

"I was born Silbhé Salani, my lady." I said respectfully, smiling at her. "But your son has given me the name of Nightingale, and it is one I carry with pride."

"You are the Lady Nightingale!" She seemed delighted by that fact. "I have heard of you. My son mentions you every so often, though I was never sure where you were supposed to be."

"I am from Earth… Midgard, your Majesty, I am human…" I informed her quietly. "I came with your other son when he was able to return from his exile, after he regained his powers and the Destroyer was deactivated."

In that moment, when I chained it all together in one single sentence, I suddenly had an epiphany.

"That's it!" I couldn't help but cry out, delighted.

"What is…?" Both Fandral and Frigg seemed confused by my sudden change in demeanor.

"I know what Loki's been trying to do all this time!" I explained brightly.

I really couldn't hold back my satisfaction. It made me feel almost vindicated, that I was right and Loki wasn't evil, there was a reason for everything he'd done all along!

"Really?" Obviously Fandral didn't believe it. "I would like to hear it."

"So would I." Another voice called from behind.

I spun around instantly, only half aware from the corner of my eye as Fandral dropped to one knee; even before I laid eyes on the new arrival I knew who he would be, and I couldn't help the way two instincts fought inside me: one half of me wanted to follow protocol and kneel as well, or at the very least bow in proper respect, the other half remembered quiet clearly all the times Loki had been hurt by the words and/or actions of the man before me, remembered how I'd always said I would one day give him, give them all, a piece of my mind, make them realize how wrong they were to hurt my Loki…

In the end I managed a sort of compromise for myself: I did a curtsy, dropping my head only the bare minimum; enough to show some respect while still driving in the message that the respect wasn't absolute; and also the fact that I respected the Queen more than I did the Allfather.

"Who are you, young lady?" Odin asked with all the authority.

I could feel his power pushing onto me, almost as if demanding submission; but I was just too stubborn, have always been according to Aunt Kathryn. I stood my ground, refusing to so much as lower my head anymore. I might be considerably shorter than him, and with nowhere near the power or authority he possessed, but I still wouldn't back down.

"I am Nightingale." I introduced myself proudly. "I am Loki's match."

As I said those words, as I believed them, I could feel once again the ribbons of light connecting us; their magic, their warmth bringing me some comfort even when I knew how precarious the situation we all were in, was.

Before another word could be said I felt yet another wave of feeling, despair chief among the onslaught of emotion; and, once again, Loki's voice in the wind:

"I never wanted to be King! I only ever wanted to be your equal!"

"Loki!" I screamed as I spun around in the direction of the Rainbow bridge again.

I held tightly onto the ribbons, wanting nothing more than to be where my beloved was, immediately. I didn't care how it happened, I wanted… no, I needed to be with him…

I suddenly felt someone pulling me back, it was Frigg.

"My lady?" I asked, confused.

"If you keep trying that hard you will only hurt yourself." She told me quietly.

"I don't understand…" What had I been doing exactly?

"You're pulling at your connection with Loki, at him. You're trying to use magic to get to him, when you don't have any magic to call on." Frigg explained. "If you keep trying so hard you will end up hurting yourself."

"I need to get to Loki!" I hissed, too put out by everything happening to stop and consider how I was speaking to the Queen of Asgard.

"Odin will get you there." She announced.

By the look on the Allfather's expression it was quite obvious that she hadn't exactly asked him his opinion on the matter; however, I could also sense he wouldn't deny her.

Which is how, less than five minutes later, I found myself on yet another horse: this one the mythical Sleipnir, with Odin; riding hard and fast to the bridge. How ironic, we were going in the very direction I'd come from less than half an hour before…

It didn't take long for us to be close enough to the end of the bridge, to where the battle was taking place, we soon could hear as Loki and Thor screamed at each other while fighting.

"I'm not your brother!" Loki cried out in a mix of fury and distress. "I never was!"

"What?!" I was in shock by that.

There are many myths that talk about the origins of Loki, almost all (if not all) of them talk about him being of a race that is in no way related to the Aesir, in no way connected to Odin and Frigg. However, those same myths tend to assign to my beloved a number of children, most of them not even barely human-looking; children I know are not his in any way. I actually asked him once, to my eternal embarrassment!

He had explained it to me once: Sleipnir was the offspring of a mare that had been his, his favorite animal when he was young. She'd helped him in a half-prank, half-mission concerning a group who had been building a… wall in Asgard (I forgot the details). While the myth claimed he had been the mare, that wasn't true, at all. Fenris and Jormungandr were magical creatures he had empathized greatly with, until the Allfather had felt threatened by them, by their obscure nature, their questionable actions, and punished them. While there was, indeed, an Asgardian lady called Sigyn, and some might even call her Loki's friend (or the closest he had to one among the Aesir) there was nothing romantic between them, therefore, also, no children there. Hel was the only child of my love, one child I hoped I would be able to meet, who I hoped would accept me as part of her family one day.

So, yeah, I hadn't had much faith on many of the myths I'd read in the past. But something a good number of them had in common suddenly hit me hard: a Jotun… Loki was a Jotun! By all the Spirits and the Angels!

"When did he find out?" I asked Odin quietly.

"What…?" For a moment he didn't seem to know what I was talking about.

"When did Loki find out that he wasn't born your son?" I clarified.

"Five days ago." Odin answered after a few seconds, before adding. "You don't seem surprised."

"You might be surprised by the things that appear in Midgardian mythology, things concerning Asgard, and probably other realms as well." I told him in turn. "I stopped believing a lot of it a long time ago… I might have to revisit my opinion on some of those…"

Yes, I would have to, but that was neither the time nor the place for it. My reevaluations of what might be true and what might not could wait until I was sure my Maverick was alright.

Odin got off Sleipnir, before helping me do the same. We'd gotten close enough to the fight already. Thor and Loki were battling on the bridge, a few feet away from the capsule-like construction where one actually transported to other realms. Heimdall was there with Hogun, behind what looked like a semi-translucent shield; something told me that shield was the only thing that had stopped the two fighters from having their duel inside the construction itself.

Right then Loki was saying something to Thor about becoming soft, and a woman… maybe Jane? I didn't understand what exactly he was saying, though I did manage to catch up what followed from there:

"It was!" Loki hissed icily at Thor right then. "Well, maybe when we're finished here I'll pay her a visit myself!"

Was he threatening Jane? Why? I didn't understand. And then, like a flash, I realized it: he was doing all he could to provoke Thor into a fight…

"And what about your lady, brother?" Thor asked in return. "What about the Lady Nightingale?"

"What do you even know about Nightingale?!" Loki seemed suddenly very stressed out. "She has nothing to do with this!"

"Neither does Jane, yet you're threatening her!" Thor pointed out, he shook his head before adding. "And your lady does have something to do with things, Loki."

"Do not speak of what you could never understand!" Loki yelled at him. "You do not know her!"

"Oh, but I do brother." Thor insisted.

"I am not your brother!" My love snarled.

"She's here!" Thor sentenced.

That seemed to be enough to freeze my beloved in place for a few seconds, until he shook his head harshly, laughing darkly.

"That is impossible." He denied.

I tried to approach them, to stop their fight, but Odin wouldn't let me.

"I don't know what makes you think it's right to let them fight and possibly kill each other." I hissed at the Allfather, caring little for his titles or powers in that moment. "But I'm not going to stand here and watch someone I love get hurt while doing nothing about it!"

Yeah, it was a dig at him, possibly even below the belt; I didn't care. All I cared about in that moment was saving my love.

"They need to sort this out for themselves." Odin insisted.

"Yes, because they're dealing with the revelation of Loki's parentage so well…" I hissed sarcastically. "Loki is in denial. The intentions behind his actions might be good, but that's not stopping him from hurting others, or himself. It won't stop him from destroying himself, not right now. I won't let that happen! I won't just stand here and watch the man I love more than my own life destroy himself over something that is in no way his fault!"

I knew he wouldn't let me move to them, and the fact that I was yelling and the others weren't reacting at all to us was telling enough about something being done to keep our presence a secret from the combatants. Well, I wouldn't just stand there and take it!

Suddenly, I had an idea. There was no way of knowing it if would work, if it had any chance at working, but I was willing to try.

"You seem so convinced that Loki is good, despite the fact that his actions in the last week say differently." Odin declared darkly.

"And what does the fact that you lied to the whole realm, and what's worse, to your own son, about his lineage, say about you?" I demanded in turn. "What's worse, what does the fact that you claim to be a good father and then keep favoring one son over the other say about you? About your parenting? What does the fact that one of your sons feels lesser than the other, and you never noticed, say?!"

That was enough to shut him, at least for the time being.

Making the decision to at least give my wild plan a try I dug into my handbag, pulling out another of the objects I kept there, kept close to me at all times: my black jade flute. Then, praying to any and all powers that might exist, I brought it to my lips and began playing the first thing that came to mind.

It was no specific melody, no real song, more like a mix of notes, of feelings; almost like what I used to do when I was a child, when I would sit among the rosebushes, trailing nightingales with my eyes and doing my best to imitate their own song with help of my flute.

It took a few seconds, I could almost imagine my music fighting against whatever power of Odin's was keeping me away from Loki, until my music, my love, won.

It was quite evident the moment Loki heard the melody, truly registered what it was he was hearing; for he stopped abruptly mid-motion. It's also good that Thor was such a good warrior, for he managed to stop just in time, right before completing a swing of Mjolnir, a swing that could have taken Loki's head in that moment.

"N…Nightingale…?" Loki called softly, hesitantly.

I turned to look at Odin, putting as much coldness in my expression as I could. I needed him to let me go, to let me get to my love. With a sigh, he did.

In an instant I put my flute down and rushed to my love, throwing myself into his arms before he had time to say a single word more. He held me tightly, so tightly I almost couldn't breathe… however, just a few seconds later, he was pushing me away, holding me at arm's length.

"Maverick…?" I asked, confused by his change in attitude.

"You're real…" He gasped, in obvious shock. "How are you here?"

"That's quite a crazy story." I admitted sheepishly. "The short version of it is that I knew something was wrong, and after a week with no news from you aside from knowing things weren't right with you… I took a plane, then a bus and then a cab, made it to New Mexico a couple of hours ago or so… Then convinced Thor to let me tag along when he came back. Would have met you in the palace with him, but Asgard's magic, and your own, hit me harder than I expected… still. Here I am."

"You cannot be here." He shook his head.

The moment he let me go I felt so cold… I could almost swear my own blood was freezing in my veins… my breath became harder.

"Loki…" I gasped, trying to touch him, yet not being able to.

"You cannot… should not be here." He was in denial yet again. "It's not right."

"Why not?" I demanded. "I am here Loki. I am not one of your illusions, or a hallucination. I am here and you cannot deny my presence!"

I was too stubborn to allow him to deny me, or push me away.

"Because nothing in my life is real!" He screamed at me. "My father is not my father! My brother is not my brother! My Kingdom is not mine, it never was! I am nothing! And you do not exist!"

"I do exist!" I yelled straight back at him, refusing to back down. "I am who I've always been. I am the same girl you met in a rose garden, at eleven-years-old who wouldn't take your crap of a disguise, as if someone with your eyes could ever be believed as a thirteen-year-old! The same whose life you saved at fourteen, creating a magic that only existed in a science-fiction novel! The same who has told you, time and again, that she would stand by you, which is exactly what I'm doing right now! And you're the exact same man who gave me this flute, and the name of Nightingale… who has been my best friend for the last eight years… who has saved me again and again… who knew Thor wasn't ready a week ago to be King, and was willing to do anything that was necessary, even if it showed negatively on himself, to protect his realm, his people…"

"I am no man…" Loki shook his head. "I am nothing but a monster!"

"That! Is indeed a lie!" I hissed back at him.

"That is the only truth of my existence…" He replied.

There was such a note of defeat in his voice, as he gave several steps back, away from me, I could feel keenly the pain running through him, for it was going through me just as strongly. So much pain it was a wonder we were still standing!

Then, before I could say a single word more, things changed… he changed. Beautiful alabaster skin turned abruptly a cobalt blue color, marked with twisting tribal-like black markings. Loki went as far as ripping off a good part of both sleeves, revealing that the change in skin tone wasn't limited to his hands and face.

"I am a monster!" He practically wailed.

"No!" I held onto my denial.

"I am Jotun!" Loki stated next.

That, I could not deny.

"I know…" I whispered, quietly.

Somehow, that statement had more of an effect on him that everything I'd screamed before. It was an opportunity I took hold of with both hands, with all I was…

"Remember all those myths I stopped having much faith on, since they seemed to get so much of it wrong?" I asked quietly, though I didn't actually wait for an answer. "Most of them had you being something other than Aesir, especially this, a Frost Giant… though I still think you had it better than most mythical versions of you." I snorted at the way that sounded, even to my own ears. "In any case, you had… have a family that loves you."

"They're not my family." Loki shook his head.

"But they are." I insisted, almost eager to make him see what I did. "Maybe not by blood, but there's more to family than just blood."

"Blood is thicker than water…" Loki cited darkly. "Isn't there an old proverb that goes like that on your world?"

"There is." I nodded, finding a smile inside me. "However, the original meaning of that phrase has been lost in time, and it's mostly the opposite of how it's taken nowadays. The original full phrase says: The blood of the covenant runs thicker than the water of the womb…" I gave them all a few seconds to process it before continuing. "You and Thor may never have shared a womb, but you have fought together, bled together, you have a connection of blood, of word and deed much stronger than any familial bond could possibly be. And you have similar bonds to the parents who chose you, regardless of your race, of your blood…"

That brought him short. Apparently my love had forgotten just how stubborn I could be, and how much like him… I wasn't about to allow him to defeat me in a play of words!

"Also, I remember quite clearly telling you, when I was eleven that I didn't care if you were blue, red with horns… or something to that effect." I added with a triumphant smile.

"You had nothing against it, only wished for a heads-up…" Loki finished for me, quietly, still half lost in everything that had been said. "I didn't exactly give you a heads up…"

"I don't think you got any kind of heads-up yourself, so I will let it pass this time." I smirked at him a bit, before turning serious again. "I am here Loki. I am real. The words I pronounced all those years ago are just as real. I don't care if you're white or blue, if you're Aesir or Jotun… you're still the same man I've always known…" I was already putting so much of myself on display, I decided to just go for broke. "The same man I fell in love with."

He wasn't expecting what I did next, no one on the bridge was… even I was a bit surprised at my own boldness. At some point during my speech I had begun moving, had gotten close enough to Loki that when I finished my last declaration all I needed was to take him by surprise (which was easy enough), and jump to kiss him…

I didn't know that Jotun's shouldn't be touched… I didn't know that their touch was supposed to burn those of other races… and even after I kissed Loki I still wouldn't have known if it weren't for Thor's own yelling about it.

By the time either Loki or I heard Thor's yelling and made out at least most of it Loki was holding me up, an arm around the small of my back, and I could feel his cold touch against my back where the blouse had been pulled a bit up; his other arm was around my back, touching my bare arms as he held me up, my cheek resting against his as I took deep breaths to recover after the rather… intense kiss.

"What the hell are you screaming about, brother?" Loki hissed, head buried in my hair.

His voice sounded so calm, unhesitant, as he called him brother… as if everything was perfectly alright with them once again. I knew it couldn't be that simple, but still, it made me happy to know there was hope for them yet.

"The touch of a Jotun burns!" Thor insisted.

"Really?" I asked, honestly curious, as I followed my bare skin to my love's. "I'm not feeling any burning… or at least not the kind of burning you would be concerned about."

I couldn't help the quip, and it was until Loki let out a peal of laughter and I heard the rumble of half-laughter half-something-else that I remembered who else was around. I was suddenly so embarrassed I buried my face in Loki's neck, wishing to be able to disappear.

"Nightingale…?" Loki called, worried.

"I am so embarrassed!" I wailed against his neck.

He just laughed again.

Of course the good atmosphere had to end at some point. It's not like any of us could actually forget the tense situation that had been taking place just a few minutes earlier.

"Brother…" Thor called in a low, serious voice.

Loki put me down on my feet once again before turning to face Thor.

"I wouldn't hurt your Jane." Was all he said.

It was all that was needed. At least, it was all Thor needed him to say, that guarantee that no matter how crazy things had gotten, thins may still get, Loki would never cross that line, he would never hurt a woman his brother loved; because he understood the heart-and-soul deep pain such a thing would cause.

The way he looked at me right then, there was fear in his eyes, and I could understand it, at least to a point. I had been able to stop his mad rage against his brother, and before that, Thor had been able to stop whatever it was my love had had in mind when making his way to the Bifrost. That still didn't change the things that had happened in the last week, Loki wasn't being seen as a good guy by many, and whatever judgment that may fall upon him was likely to affect me as well; as my only connection to Asgard was to him (and I was already in a pretty precarious situation being a mortal who had gotten to Asgard with no permission, not to say the way I'd been speaking to the King since meeting him!)

"Loki…" A strong, thick voice called him.

With a deep breath Loki turned around slowly to face the Allfather. For second he just stood there, as if considering what his actions should be. When he let go of me I felt somehow colder than when I'd been touching his Jotun skin…

With a wave of his hand Gungir, the Royal Asgardian staff, flew to his hand. For a second he stood there, tall and powerful, all the image of the King he was supposed to be… then his armor disappeared and he dropped to one knee, carefully laying the scepter down, at Odin's feet.

"My King…" He pronounced, quietly.

Then he shifted position, so he was on both knees; I knew what was coming before he completed the motion, what his intentions were…

"Loki…" I gasped, not knowing what else to say.

"This is how things should be, my Nightingale…" He whispered sadly to me. "It's time I face the consequences of my actions… as harsh as I know they will be. I just hope you won't end up hurt because of them…"

"I won't leave you." I told him with all the conviction I could muster.

Before he, or anyone else could say anything I shifted to stand by his side, dropping to my own knees as fluidly as I could.

He looked at me, saying nothing at all, yet his eyes spoke enough. He was asking me if I was sure of what I was doing, relieved at still having me even as he feared what the consequences of remaining by his side might be for me. I looked back at him with the same intensity, willing him to read in them my confidence, my faith, my love and my complete lack of regrets.

Then, in synchronized motions we extended our arms back and folded our bodies over our legs in penitent positions. We were surrendering ourselves to Odin's judgment, together as one, as was supposed to be; it would be Odin's choice what the consequences would be for our actions in the last week would be. We were completely at his mercy. And even knowing everything I did about Odin's penchant for… creative punishment, with my love by my side I felt no fear at all.

xXx

Minutes later Loki and I were sitting side by side on a love seat, there were cuffs on our wrists and ankles, connected to chains that Hogun and Fandral were holding gingerly (Thor downright refused to be the one to do it). We were all in one of Queen Frigg's sitting rooms, talking; Frigg wanted to know everything about me, about the time since I'd known Loki…

It wasn't easy, explaining in the right words everything I'd been through since being eleven. I tried my best to avoid some topics, like my sickness, the last thing I wanted, or needed, was for Loki's family to pity me. Eventually we came to another important matter: the events that had taken place in the last week.

The recount of the last conversation Loki and I had had since the mess in New Mexico brought a few disbelieving exclamations from Sif and the Warriors; Thor and his parents, on the other hand, reacted quiet differently.

"You were right." Thor stated with no hesitation.

That surprised his friends.

"He was right." The blonde insisted. "I was all those things: reckless, careless, more than a little wild, irresponsible… I won't try and pretend that the last week has changed everything, that I've grown and changed and am a completely different person, because I'm not. However, I am learning, I know now I still have a lot of growing up, maturing and learning to do, but I believe I've had a good start in the last few days. I now know things aren't as black and white as I liked to believe before, they're not that simple. I might be a Warrior, and proud of it, but that doesn't mean I have to live for war… I can still live just to live, and be happy about it." He sighed. "I hope all that will one day make me the King Asgard, and everyone in it, deserves."

Loki couldn't hold back with satisfied smile, things were changing indeed. I could also see the approval in Odin's eyes, he too was happy his oldest son was maturing. The question was: would he recognize who had made that change possible?

"Who taught you that?" Frigg wanted to know.

"Her name is Jane Foster, mother." Thor told her with a smile. "She's a woman of science in Midgard. She has a theory, about some Einstein-something bridges, which is really just the name they've given to the Bifrost. She believed in its existence even when no science in their world had been able to prove such a thing was possible."

"And she was your teacher…?" Fandral asked, moving his eyebrow suggestively.

I was surprised when Thor turned to his brother, giving him some kind of signal with a hand; a second later Fandral let out a distinctively female screech I had no idea what was going on, but seeing him with a hand inside his pants while he let out all sort of imprecations was enough to let me know that, whatever it was Loki had done, I didn't want to think much about it.

"Loki!" Frigg chastised her son.

"Fandral needs to learn to respect the ladies, mother." Loki told her seriously but calmly. "Especially Lady Nightingale and Lady Jane."

Thor nodded in whole-hearted agreement.

"Never thought I would agree with Loki on something, but I do now." Sif declared impishly.

Loki just nodded once in her direction before flicking his wrist a bit, Fandral quieted instantly, signaling that his torture had finally ended. I wondered if it would make any difference at all in the long run… maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't, in the end it meant the same to me…

"You keep saying that everything Loki's done all week has been meant to help Thor, I still don't believe it." Voltagg declared right then.

"It is true I interrupted the coronation." Loki admitted straight out. "I needed Father to realize how much Thor just wasn't prepared for the throne. I knew that if Frost Giants were found to be responsible for things, Thor would react, and Father would see the mistake he was making appointing him to the throne."

"So, all along you sought to get the throne yourself." Fandral hissed angrily.

Loki just laughed at him, and I with him. Thor just shook his head, I hoped he would remember what his brother had said about just not being interested in the throne.

"I knew the throne would never be mine, long before Father announced Thor as his heir." My love pointed out succinctly. "The throne has never been a goal of mine. No, my problem was never that. My problem was Thor getting there and then bringing ruin to Asgard because he just didn't have what it took to be a good King. He was too interested in war, cared too little about others, and just didn't seem to have the predisposition to put others ahead of himself; he didn't even do it with his friends, much less an entire realm!"

Thor actually lowered his head at that.

"Most of that has, since, changed." I pointed out. "I don't know what might have happened during most of the week in New Mexico, but I was there this last day. I saw Thor accept his weaknesses in comparison to Lady Sif and the Warriors Three when it came to the confrontation against the Destroyer; I saw him help in the evacuation, help protect others… and I saw him being willing to offer his life to protect others, both friends and complete strangers."

Thor lowered his head again, though I guessed it might have been embarrassment this time.

"You were helping as well." Thor reminded me. "And Lady Jane and her friends."

I shrugged. It's not like my actions mattered, I wasn't the one changing, he was.

"Yes, and on that front, I don't know if to be thankful or regretful that I never saw you." Loki commented with a mix of horror and petulance. "You could have gotten killed in that mess! On the other hand, if I'd been aware of your arrival I just might have had a stroke!"

That surprised me. I hadn't expected for the spell he'd used to occlude me from Heimdall and Odin to end up working against him at some point… on the positive side, things had gone fairly well, no one was dead or too badly hurt.

"That might have saved us a few troubles." Sif deadpanned though, somehow, she didn't sound quite as harsh as I had expected.

"Yes, Thor is changing, that still doesn't explain why the hell the Destroyer was sent after us if Loki is supposed to be… good." Fandral drawled.

"Well, the way I see it, the Destroyer is supposed to take down enemies of Asgard, of the King, right?" I asked, not actually waiting for an answer. "You betrayed your King… for all intents and purposes you were traitors, and therefore, enemies of your king."

That actually gave them pause.

"I never wanted to be King." Loki went into the actual explanation of things. "I never wanted it, yet when I found myself with Gugnir in my hands… it wasn't like I could just ignore it, or the power it carried. I had to step up." He sighed. "I accepted early on that I would need Thor if I hoped to make it through my reign with my sanity, or whatever might be left of it at this point… Regardless of if Father slept for a few days, weeks or even months, I needed my brother. However, I couldn't just bring him back." He turned his eyes to Sif and the Warriors. "You fools, thinking it was that easy. That I could just ignore the Allfather's last order, undo Thor's exile and there would be no consequences!"

Odin didn't say a word, but the looks he directed to Thor's friends said enough.

"Are you all completely stupid?" I didn't hold back my tongue. "Really, a new King, using his power to have his first order undo the last from his predecessor? Ignoring the fact that it would completely undermine his own Father's power and that it would gain him no allies with Lord Odin's supporters… do you really think that Loki just 'choosing' to 'allow' Thor back would have returned him his power, his birthright?!"

That seemed to finally chastise them all properly.

"I was worried about that, about how to get Thor back." Loki admitted. "Though I knew it wouldn't be as simple as they were trying to make it. I had no idea how to handle it. Until mother said something…"

Everyone turned to look at Frigg, who just stared right back at Loki, not quite sure what it was her son was referring to.

"You said Father always had a plan…or something to that effect." Loki clarified. "I realized then that he wouldn't have sent Mjolnir to Midgard, after making Thor human, unless there was some way for my brother to regain his power, to reclaim the hammer. I didn't quite remember everything that had been said when Thor was exiled, but I recalled something about being worthy… so I went to see Thor. Nothing was different. So I told him a lie, an outright lie, which really isn't my style, regardless what most of you might believe… I told him Father was dead. And considering neither Mother nor I were sure when exactly he would wake up… I decided it wasn't actually that much of a lie. I hoped it would make him react, would make him change. But it still wasn't enough!" He turned to Thor. "I needed help! I needed support! And you weren't there! No one was! And then Heimdall and your own friends went behind my back to get you back! As if it were that easy!"

Loki was on the edge, just about ready to snap, and I didn't know what to do to help him.

"What exactly made you think the Destroyer was a good idea, at all?" Sif inquired, her earlier distaste and anger finally shifting fully to honest curiosity.

"The situation with Jotunheim was deteriorating, and fast." Loki ran a hand through his hair, unsure of how to explain himself on that front. "They were using Thor's temper tantrum to say that Asgard wanted war. They were threatening with it. Can you imagine what the Elders would say if war broke out during my watch? Forget about the fact that it was Thor who had provoked it in the first place, they would still lay all the blame on me. And I have no doubt they might have even been willing to serve me up in a silver platter to try and pacify the Jotun. So instead I chose to do exactly that to Laufey and his strongest supporters."

"So you… what? Pretended to help them assassinate the Allfather while instead you were planning on assassinating them?" Volstagg didn't quite believe it.

"That was basically the plan, yes." Loki admitted with no hesitation. "Of course then you all had to go and do something stupid, distract me. I almost didn't get to Father's chambers in time! Mother ended up hurt! And it could have been worse!" He laughed darkly. "And, just so we're clear on that front, the Destroyer was under strict orders to cause chaos and delay your return, no one was to be killed."

Which, of course, explained why none of the explosions had been directed at any of us, except when Sif and the Warriors had gone against it. The closest we'd come to getting injured was with the flying glass and debris from the last big explosion, and even then my bonds to Loki had been enough to protect me and Darcy, and the others had been far away enough not to get hurt.

"You killed Thor!" Sif insisted.

"That wasn't part of the plan!" Loki yelled back at her.

It was like a ripple; suddenly, his skin, which had gone back to the Aesir color when we'd left the Rainbow Bridge, had turned back to his Jotun form.

"When did you find out you're Jotun?" Hogun's voice, and his very specific question was enough to catch everyone by surprise.

"The day we all went to Jotunheim…" Loki admitted sullenly. "Fandral and Volstagg were injured already; someone yelled that the touch of the jotun burned, right about the same time that one touched my forearm… except their touch didn't burn me, instead, my skin turned just like theirs: blue and cold." He sighed, relaxing enough for his skin to return to alabaster. "I still wasn't sure until a couple of days later. I went into the Vault, I touched the Casket of Ancient Winters… it revealed my 'true skin' so-to-speak. Father found me I demanded explanations…"

I could feel his pain at the memory of whatever had happened in that moment.

"And before I could give them, I fell asleep." Odin finished for him.

For a few very long minutes no one said a word, until Odin spoke once again.

"There is only one thing you need to understand, Loki." He said, looking his youngest son straight in the eyes. "I might have lied, but my intent was never to hurt you. All I wanted… all I've ever wanted, was to protect you… both you and your brother."

It wasn't an apology, but something told me it was the closest he was likely to get to one. And while it didn't justify everything that had happened in the last millennia, at least it was a reminder that he truly did love his sons, both of them.

After a short break to drink some tea and eat something (I hadn't had anything since breakfast, and didn't want to even begin to wonder about the others) we began talking about what would be happening next. Because of how Loki had surrendered himself, in a ceremonial manner, he had to really answer for his crimes. A trial had to take place, and because I'd chosen to stand by him, whatever judgment fell on him would fall on me too.

"I don't like this." Lady Frigg stated for what was probably the tenth time.

She was referring to the chains, but also the trials, and the fact that we all knew the punishment was likely to be the worst possible thing the Elders could think of, it's not like they'd ever liked Loki, and they would care little about taking a mortal woman with him. Not when they were finally being given the chance to get back at him for everything my love had done to them, and to many others for centuries.

"I don't either." Thor agreed. "The Elders will have no mercy, and they will care little about Lady Nightingale being an innocent."

"I have made my choices, and I do not regret them." I stated, surprisingly calm considering my rather precarious situation.

"Really…" Sif snorted. "Not even if they kill you?"

"Death is as natural as life itself." I answered her still with the same levity. "And I, personally, made peace with my own mortality years ago."

That surprised everyone, though I wasn't too willing to explain.

"Nightingale is sick." Loki explained for me. "Has been for most, if not all, of her life. Something called leukemia, cancer, a sickness that runs in her blood. It would have killed her when she was fourteen if I hadn't interfered…"

"The bracelet she wears with your symbol." Thor understood.

"There was this novel she was reading back then." Loki elaborated. "It was called… 'Dream Chaser' or something like that. In it there were these bracelets, called deamarkonian, they were tools used by some supposed gods to kill others. The bracelets would bind someone strong to someone weak, and by killing the weak you would kill the strong…"

"And you recreated those bracelets…" Frigg gasped at the implications of it all.

"Nightingale needed to live, I needed to save her." Loki said, as if it were that simple, and maybe for him it was. "My power fights off the sickness in her blood, it doesn't erase it, but allows her to live with it."

"So… if the bracelet is unlocked…" Sif began, tentatively.

"It cannot be unlocked." Loki stated coldly.

I considered, briefly, if I could possibly make an offer, my life for his…

*No…* I heard Loki's voice inside my mind. *No, I refuse to allow it.* He sighed mentally. *Besides, you must know already it would never work. The Elders want to destroy me too much. At worst they might say yes only to see me suffer with your death before moving on and punishing me anyway.*

"There has to be a way…" I whispered, not quite noticing I'd done so out-loud when he'd only spoken into my mind.

"A way to what?" They all asked, wondering what was going on.

"Isn't there something I can do?" I asked softly but strongly. "Anything to stop these Elders from getting away with punishing Loki however they see fit?"

For a very long minute there was no answer. I could see Loki shaking his head, still trying to protect me; Thor seemed bothered by his inability to help us in any way; Frigg's eyes had watered, wanting to protect us, yet being unable to. Until Odin spoke…

"There is one possibility." He stated.

I was instantly all for it; even having no idea what it might be; anything that might help me protect my love was something I was willing to try.

"What…?" It was obvious no one knew what Odin was talking about.

"Trial by Combat…" Odin began.

"No!" Loki, Thor and even the Warriors Three jumped on my defense instantly.

"Odin… you cannot expect a mortal girl to fight any Asgardian warrior." Frigg told him quietly. "There is no way…"

"I did not mean it exactly like that, but a variation of it." Odin justified himself before turning to his youngest son. "Tell me Loki, how serious are you about your lady?"

"She is my chosen match." My love replied simply.

It was a rather simple answer, simple and to the point; there was no elaborate declaration of love and devotion, but once again, it wasn't needed. Loki, whenever he wasn't playing word games and driving people crazy with them, was a fairly simple man. Besides, he understood so well how one could lie without ever actually saying a lie, just twisting words and intentions around, he preferred to use as few words as possible when he was being completely honest; it allowed for less confusion, for more clarity.

"For that to stand she would have to pass the test, to gain immortality, become a citizen of Asgard." Odin explained. "The Elders will never allow for a mortal, a human to be a Bride, especially not to a Prince of Asgard."

"They will not allow me to remain a Prince after they're done with me anyway." Loki reminded his father calmly.

"They are not being given a choice on that matter." Odin stated with the same calm. "You are my son Loki. You will always be my son, no matter what happens."

Loki nodded his head, a mix of respect and thankfulness I could sense quite clearly through our bonds, as clearly as his despair earlier. It was nice, for him to be having good feelings, to be sharing that. He was finally beginning to realize that no matter his blood, his race, his past rather questionable actions… he was still an Odinson, still Thor's brother, Odin's and Frigg's son, Asgard's Prince… he would always be all that.

"What I am proposing here." Odin went back to the matter at hand. "Is to turn her test into your trial. Declare Trial by Combat, but have her fight be the test. If she passes, she will earn her immortality… as well as your freedom."

I liked that plan, predictably, Loki didn't.

"For that to be acceptable the test would have to be hard, harder than any done in millennia." Frigg reminded her husband, as well as the rest of us. "The Elders won't stand for anything less."

"It is up to you, of course." Odin signaled to us.

"I will do it." I declared immediately.

"My Nightingale…" Loki began.

I could hear it in his voice: the doubt, the fear, he didn't want me to take that kind of risk…

"I will do it, my Maverick." I told him softly but strongly, looking straight into his eyes. "The way I see it, if I do the test and pass it, we will both win, if I fail it, we will both lose… and if I don't do it, we will both lose no matter what. The Elders will never give you a fair trial, and our lives are intertwined already… At least through this test I have a chance at winning, for us both."

"You do not know the kind of test you will be put through." Loki whispered, a pained expression on his face. "The kind of things I have read regarding them…"

I didn't say a word, just held his hands in mine, pressed my forehead against his, letting the feelings in my heart speak for me. Hoping it would be enough.

After almost a full minute we separated, Loki placing a kiss on my brow and each of my hands before looking me straight in the eyes:

"I, willingly and with no reservations, place my life in your hands." He said, straight at me, but loud enough for everyone to hear. "We are one."

"We are one." I agreed. "Mo Anam Chara."

He smiled, familiar enough with my history, my lineage, to know what those three words meant; I could feel his whole-hearted agreement.

"Mo Anam Chara." He kissed me.

xXx

We didn't give the Elders any chance to complain or try to stop our plan. That very evening the announcement came out: a Midgardian woman, a mortal, was undergoing the trials to be a citizen of Asgard, and to be the bride of Loki; also, because of our pre-existing connection, the Test would also count as a 'Trial by Combat'.

The Elders didn't like it, and they made sure to make their opinion known; the most they managed was to be allowed to choose the test themselves. That was sure to make things harder than they might have been otherwise, but we had known beforehand the likeliness of something like that happening, so it was really no surprise.

There was a family dinner after the announcement was made. Lady Frigg's way of showing support. Odin was mostly emotionless, I had no way of knowing if he was expecting me to pass the test or not. At least I no longer saw him as a complete bastard, it was obvious he did love Loki, even if he didn't always show it.

I spent the night in Loki's arms, in his private quarters. It went against tradition, but everyone was willing to ignore that fact, and it's not like we did anything more than cuddle and sleep, our own way of giving each other support.

In the morning after a private breakfast just for Loki and I, a bath was prepared for me, it was long, relaxing, and filled with herbs; part of a purification ritual; it wasn't actually usual protocol for a test, but still, I was thankful for the chance to relax before it. After the bath I put on the clothes I'd been given especially for that day: a simple off-white floor-length, tunic-style dress with elbow-length loose sleeves opened on the outer side; a forest green sash (showing my allegiance to Loki) marked my waist and trailed down almost to my knees. My only pieces of jewelry were my triquetra earrings (an heirloom from my mother), the deamarkonian bracelet on my wrist and something else I was presented with that very morning: a nightingale pendant that practically hummed with my beloved's magic.

"I had this made especially for you, as a graduation present." He told me quietly. "I have weaved into the metal every single protection spell in existence. It won't stop the test from going into effect, but still." He made a pause before adding. "While I originally meant for it to be nothing more than a graduation present, now I would wish for it to be more…" He took a deep breath before stating. "I would like for it to be a symbol of a promise. A promise that you will be my wife after the test is done."

"I thought that was already a given…" I admitted a bit sheepishly.

"Maybe." He shrugged. "But I want our union to be more than just a matter of politics. My Nightingale… I want you to want to be my wife."

"I do." I giggled at noticing the words I'd just pronounced. "I want to be your wife." I embraced him tightly. "I will never want anything more in my life…"

He kissed me, a bright smile on his face.

I got an idea right then. Giving him a quick peck on the cheek I turned around in his arms to face the mirror on the vanity. Very carefully I took hold of one of my longest locks of hair, plaiting it quickly and as perfectly as possible. Once I was done I took a leather tong Loki offered me (even though he still didn't understand what I was doing). Once I'd tied the plait I fished the dagger I could see the handle of, on his arm, using it to cut the plait off my head as close to my scalp as I dared before my love had a chance to say a word.

"What exactly did you do that for?" He asked after a few seconds.

"There's not much I can offer you at this point, except myself." I explained to him before holding the plait to him. "This is not much, but it symbolizes what I am offering you." My tone softened as I explained further. "I know it won't be easy for you to watch me go into that test, especially if it's as bad as we both imagine it will be… I want you to keep this with you today. Let it serve as a reminder of why we're doing this, and of the amazing future we'll have after we're done with this. Because, I promise you, I am going to pass this test."

"I know you will." There was no doubt in his voice.

Minutes later, finally ready, we left the room arm in arm, ready to face our destiny.

xXx

At the appointed time I stood in the middle of what looked like an arena. As part of the ceremony a herald had already explained how a barrier of sorts would separate me from the spectators standing on a second level. They would still be able to see me, but I wouldn't see them, then the test would begin.

"State your name and intentions for the record." One of the heralds called to me.

"Born Silbhé Salani, from Midgard, I've chosen to be Nightingale." I answered calmly. "I am here to pass this test, to become a citizen of Asgard and defend my match, Loki Odinson, as is my right, duty and pleasure."

Granted, the last part of the statement might have been a bit much, we weren't actually married just yet; but the bonds, the beautiful ribbons of light and color that I'd seen more than once, showed that, for all intents and purposes, we were a match already. That was enough.

"Any last words?" The herald inquired.

He almost made it sound like I was walking to my execution rather than a test… I wondered if it was intentional… In the end, I ignored that detail, directing quick, respectful bows to Odin, Frigg and Thor before focusing straight on Loki; thankfully he wasn't in chains, but he still seemed pretty stressed out. I smiled at him as brightly as I could, raising the nightingale pendant to my lips to kiss, as I couldn't kiss him. It was a gesture he returned by raising the plait of hair entwined around his fingers, to his own lips.

"Mo Anam Chara…" I called in a strong voice, enough to carry to him.

The herald seemed confused about what exactly I had just said, as did the Elders and guards around, but I didn't care, Loki understood and that was the only important part.

I didn't want to see the stress in Loki's eyes as the barrier was formed between us, didn't want to see Thor's nervousness, Frigg's fear, Odin's coldness. So instead I went to stand in the very middle of the room, closed my eyes and waited.

"Let the test begin." The Herald called.

I could feel a small ripple of energy before darkness engulfed me.

I opened my eyes after a short time, only to realize it made no difference. The arena was so dark I couldn't see anything more than an inch away from my face anyway.

As I waited for whatever it was the test included, to begin, I focused on what little I'd been told about it. No details had been given of the actual test, only that it lasted an hour, and that if I tried to leave the arena or if someone else interfered with the test for whatever the reason, it would be declared as a failure.

I knew nothing really about the kind of test I was supposed to undergo. It wasn't part of any myths recorded on Earth, nor literature. The closest was a reference about some Test of Odin for Unfaithful Wives, something that had supposedly appeared in some movie a while ago… not like I knew what it was supposed to be, or seen the movie anyway. And not like I was any wife of Odin's to be undergoing that particular test, so…

I was still waiting when I felt the temperature in the arena begin to go down. I felt like I'd been waiting for a while already, but had no way of knowing exactly how long it'd been. The change in temperature, combined with the lack of light seemed to make me hyperaware to everything. Like the brush of the skirts of my dress as I move the bare minimum, the air as it brushed my arms… and how could there possibly be any breeze when the place was supposed to be sealed?

Abruptly I felt a very cold touch on a bare spot of my back, almost like someone or something touching me…

"Loki…?" I called quietly.

The coldness of the touch reminded me of him in Jotun form; and while I'd seen him in his Aesir form when standing on the viewing deck, and no one but those of us on the bridge the previous afternoon had ever seen him as a Frost Giant, I still couldn't help but think about the possibility.

Another touch came next, near my ankle, though it wasn't as casual and soft as the first one; instead harsher, sharper, as if someone had tripped, or kicked…

By the time the third touch came I was already expecting it, at least to a point. Still I couldn't help the gasp at the pull on my hair, my ear receiving the brunt of the freezing rush of the touch. I was being touched/attacked, little by little, by someone I was supposed to believe was my beloved! The bastards were trying to make me believe Loki would actually hurt me!

I gritted my teeth together, which actually helped me hold back the pained gasp when I clearly felt something akin to a slash on my left calf, the skin numbing even beneath the dress.

So it wasn't just a matter of making me believe my love would hurt me; no, it was more than that, they were trying to make me believe Loki would betray me, that he would actually go against me, hurt me, try to kill me!

I wasn't sure if I should feel offended, annoyed, angry, or all at the same time… I mean, did they believe me so weak that I would actually fall for that cheap trick? That my love for Loki wasn't strong enough? Or… it suddenly occurred to me, maybe it was all part of a plan to bring down not only me, but also my love because, with the stakes as they were, if I didn't pass the test it would make it seem like I didn't truly love Loki, didn't believe in him… Oh those bastards had made a huge mistake thinking they could use me to destroy my love! That was one thing I would never allow, not in a thousand years!

My mental cursing was interrupted when I sensed a very slight pull on the bonds, my love was worried about me. I smiled to myself as I focused on sending a burst of love and reassurance through the bond. The Elders were underestimating me, believing my love for Loki to be weak, to be easily torn down… I would prove them wrong.

I felt a slap next, hard enough to make my head turn, still with the biting coldness that might usually signal the touch of a Jotun, although it also burnt some… it reminded me what Thor had said about a Jotun's touch supposedly burning those of a different race. I was immune to that… even more proof that the individual, or power, attacking me, had nothing to do with my beloved Maverick at all.

And then they upped the ante:

"Nightingale…" A low, icy voice whispered in my ear. "The foolish little girl who believes she has what it takes to be a goddess… as if a mortal could ever hold the same worth of a true goddess… as if a human could ever be worthy…"

That was just the beginning. I don't know how long I stood there, enduring insults, slaps, hit, slashes and other kind of attacks. All I took allowing nothing more than the barest sounds to leave my lips.

I got it at some point. The purpose of the test, aside from using Loki and I against each other. If either the physical or the emotional pains caused enough distress I would cry out, I might surrender, fail; and even if I didn't, my crying out would call Loki's attention, and he might try to interfere to save me, and then I would fail… the test was engineered to make me fail… Good thing I'm too stubborn to just lie down and take it! I wasn't going to let them win.

I felt the next attack coming, bracing myself just in time before something that felt like a punch hit me in my stomach, followed then by what I could have sworn was a pretty deep stab, except that, when I brought my hand to it, there was no blood… I still couldn't stop my body from folding in half at the very real pain, biting my lip as I held back a scream, using all my strength of will to hold as much of the horror and the pain back from the bonds as I could. Throughout it all I just did my best to remind myself why I was going through it all: Loki, my love for him… it was enough to make anything worth it.

xXx Loki's POV xXx

I was pacing. It was all I'd done from the very moment the shield had separated the arena from the viewing deck and the former had darkened considerably; granted, we could still see what was going on, and while that was marginally better than having no idea at all of what might be happening to my Nightingale… it didn't change the fact that she was in a very hard situation and, one way or another, it was all my fault. My love was in the worst danger she was likely to encounter in all eternity, and it was because of me.

My love… it sounded so strange, even in my own mind. Not being in love with her, because that didn't actually surprise me, despite the fact that such a thing hadn't actually occurred to me until the day before, on the bridge, when she'd screamed she loved me and then kissed me, not caring at all about my blue skin, my recent actions, my obvious slip into insanity…

It's easy enough for me to see now that I am in love with my Nightingale, have been for a while; what I do not know is when exactly I fell in love with her. All I can think of is that it happened slowly. I came to love each aspect of her, each thing that made her… Nightingale: her music, her voice, her eyes, her dreams, her honesty, hope, faith, devotion, love… until suddenly I just loved her. I loved Nightingale.

To think that just a few years ago I would have seen loving someone, anyone, so much as a weakness; and yet, with my Nightingale, I felt like it made me stronger, because she was a source of strength, of will, of love…

I didn't want to even begin to imagine what my life would have been like if I'd never met her. As insane as I thought it all was when she first revealed to knowing I was Loki… or if I'd lost her to her sickness five years ago… It was a thought I couldn't even hold properly. It hurt so much. So that might have been the reason why I wanted to save her so much. Maybe I already loved her back then; but she was still little more than a child, and I would have never held my own desire to save her life over her head, used it to keep her at my side. No, that was a choice she made all on her own… a decision I'll be forever thankful for.

I was distracted from my thoughts of feelings and the past when a piercing pain hit my middle abruptly. It wasn't the first time I felt ghost pains since the test began, but it was the worse yet. The only reason I hadn't gone over the edge yet was because I kept receiving feelings of love and reassurance from the bond. Whatever the hell Nightingale was going through in that arena she's sure enough of herself, of being able to handle it, she didn't want me involved. I wouldn't do her a disservice, show distrust by stepping in when she didn't need help yet… however, if things got bad enough… the Elders had disliked me enough in the past, they'd never known me to be truly angry. Which was exactly what would happen if my beloved was permanently injured in any way or traumatized by the whole thing…

I was only half aware of my own actions as I ran my tongue over my lower lip. I could almost taste blood, as if I'd bit my lip or tongue, yet I knew it hadn't been I… I had no problem connecting the dots, as I unconsciously pressed a hand on my own stomach.

"Brother?" Thor asked, placing a hard on my arm, worried. "Are you alright?"

"She's in pain, Thor…" I whispered quietly to my brother. "My Nightingale is in pain. She's biting her lip to keep from crying out even… and there's nothing I can do about it."

Thor moved faster than I could have ever expected from someone his size. Ignoring completely the disapproving looks from the Elders and guards all around me he embraced me tightly. The hug was brief, but still helped more than I could have ever imagined. For the first time since the whole mess had taken place I was able to ponder on how close I came to losing my brother forever… and how fortunate I am to still have him, to have everyone.

"Can she handle it?" He asked me quietly.

"She feels she can." I nodded. "She… She's the one in pain and yet she keeps trying to reassure me through the bond!"

"Sounds like her." Thor actually chuckled at that.

I got a sense of relief from the bond. Apparently there had been some kind of pause in the test; or at least whatever was going on wasn't hurting my love from the time being. As I turned to look over the edge of the deck I could see her standing in the middle of the room once again, hands on her knees; she was a bit crouched, panting, but seemed fine otherwise.

For most people in the viewing deck it would seem like nothing was going on. Like Nightingale was just standing there, moving erratically every so often. But I wasn't anyone: I was a sorcerer, the best in all of Asgard; illusions and anything that bent reality was my specialty, I knew what was going on with my lady, even the things I didn't manage to pick up through the bond. There were some details I still couldn't understand; like, I knew she was being hurt, not just physically, but hurtful words were being said to her, repeatedly, questioning her beauty, her loyalty, her worth… however, I knew there was something else: more than just words being said to the air and false attacks to the body. There was more, I just didn't know what.

"Brother?" Thor called once again, quietly.

"She's alright." I reassured myself as well as him. "She's recovering from the last bout." I shook my head. "She's being hurt in ways I cannot fully grasp; I know there is something I am missing, something beyond the illusion of touch, of attacks, and a voice hurting her." I ran a hand through my hair. "Then there's the time illusion, making her feel like time moves slower at times, faster at others. It only serves to confuse her even more."

"It's all part of the test." Thor reminded me.

I just sent him a rather scathing look. It's not like I didn't know that already, didn't make things any easier, though. Nothing would ever make easier accepting that my beloved lady was being hurt, and she was enduring it for me, for us both really, but I still felt responsible in the most part; after all, if the Elders didn't hate me so much they might not have been so vicious with her test… I still trusted her. She believed she could do it, and I believed in her. Always had, always would. How could I not? I only believed in her with the same intensity she believed in me! Anything less would be an insult!

"There's one thing I've been wondering." I tried to distract myself from the test at least for a short while. "How, exactly, did you end up bringing Nightingale to Asgard?"

Thor actually chuckled; it was obvious that whatever had happened, it made for one interesting memory as far as he was concerned. It made me even more curious. Nightingale had told me the basics the night before, but not that much, and I wanted to know. Also, talking about her was one of the few things that helped me endure the wait.

"She told me that after six days feeling something was wrong she finally decided to try and find me." I elaborated. "She'd seen the news about the supposed 'fallen satellite' and how no one could lift it. Midgardian governments might have tried a cover-up, but my Nightingale could still read between the lines. So she took a plane and went to New Mexico. Told me she was looking for a place to stay for a few days, someone who might be renting a room as the local hostel was full, when she crashed into you."

"She definitely did." Thor chuckles a bit more. "I was standing outside, contemplating what had happened in the last few days, since Jane and her friends got me away from the government agents who took her research… we'd been talking about Yggdrassil, about the realms, science and magic… I felt overwhelmed, wondering if I would ever find my way back, pained about the fact that my father was dead and it might be my fault…"

I couldn't help but wince slightly at the reminder of that; it didn't help when I felt a hint of phantom pain on my back; my love was being attacked once again, and this time the wound carried with it a sense of… coldness?

"It's alright." Thor probably thought my wince was only because of his words. "I understand now why you said those things. I only regret I couldn't be there for you when you needed me. This might have never been necessary if I had done things differently…"

"The test would have had to happen at one point." I tried to be objective about the matter, as hard as it might be. "The fact that there is little love lost between me and the Elders means that they would still have been hard on her. Maybe not this much, maybe just as much."

"Doesn't make it any better though, does it?" Thor inquired quietly. "Knowing that she's doing this for you?"

"Not at all." I had no regret in being honest about that. "Though, once again, even if this were just her test, she would still be doing it for me, in a sense. Wonder how you will feel when it is Jane in her place and you in mine…"

"I… I don't know if we will ever get there." Thor admitted, a strange vulnerability in his voice and his expression.

"Do you not love the lady?"

"I do. Yet I do not know if it is enough."

"What the hell are you talking about Thor?"

"Is love enough of a reason to rip her away from her life?"

That brought me up short. It was one thing I'd never stopped to consider, the lady in question having a life aside from me, or him… it was so different from my situation with Nightingale… But the fact of the matter was, I'd known my lady for eight years, since she was just a child, in body if not exactly in mind. And ever since that time it seemed like a good deal of her life revolved around me: her languages, her school degrees, her music, her very name… In almost a decade our lives had entwined so much, we were as good as married already.

Jane Foster was a completely different matter. Older, both in age and in experience, she'd had a life long before knowing Thor, a life that, while it was connected to Thor, to the realms, it still didn't depend on him. A life she might not want to give up.

"If she becomes your match, she will have to give it all up." I reminded him soberly. "Her job, her old life, her friends, her world… she won't be just an Asgardian, just a lady. She will be your match, a Princess of Asgard… and unlike my Nightingale, a future queen too."

"That's what worries me." Thor admitted.

"You're not sure that she would choose you above her current life?" I inquired.

"I'm not sure if she should. I love Asgard, the realm, its people. I also know what's expected of me, being who I am… while I may not have always been serious about a lot of matters, I know now what my responsibilities are. Should I really put this kind of burden on Jane? She wasn't born for this, and she already has a life…"

"I think this is a conversation you should be having with her, not me; these are questions you should be asking her. In the end, regardless how hard, how complicated things might be… it is Jane's life, she's the only one who had any right to make a choice regarding it." I took a deep breath before adding. "I will never be completely sure that Nightingale made the right choice; standing by me. Giving up her whole life to hopefully live, yet quite possibly die, with me. And yet… I will never stop feeling blessed that she made that choice…"

I stopped talking right then, feeling ghost fingers wrapping around my neck, almost chocking me, only it wasn't I who was being strangled…

"My Nightingale…" I couldn't help but gasp, holding my own throat where I could feel the ghost of the touch hurting her.

"Loki…?" My brother began.

Abruptly I became acutely aware of the biting coldness of that ghost touch, the final piece of the puzzle, one my love had been trying very hard to keep from me; she'd lost control just for a fraction of a second, as she fought to regain her breath, to keep herself calm…

"You're trying to trick her into believing I am the one attacking her?!" I roared at the Elders. "Trying to make her believe I would ever dare hurt her! Hit her! Slap her! Stab her! Strangle her! Like I would ever dare lay a single finger on her with any emotion other than the deepest, strongest, most absolute love?!"

Mother actually gasped at my rant, it was obvious she had no idea what was going on with my Nightingale, she would have never allowed it.

"You do not know…" The herald began.

"But I do know!" I interrupted him with no compunction. "I am a sorcerer, one of the most powerful in all the realms! Illusions are my specialty. I know you're weaving illusions of touch and sound and time; I know you're making her believe that time is running differently than it actually is, and you're also hurting her, all the while trying to make her think I'm the one doing it! As if I would ever…"

"If you interfere she will fail." One of the Elders reminded me in a biting tone.

I couldn't help it, I laughed, a dark laughter.

"Brother…?" Thor was obviously worried, about Nightingale and I both.

Before I could say a thing I became aware of something, a shift in my love. Ignoring completely the Elder I turned to look at the arena, where my love had just sat down on the ground, legs crossed, arms laid almost casually over her knees; her eyes were closed, her breathing slow and easy. It was as if she had no concern at all.

I began feeling more phantom pains then, more in number and coming faster than ever before; though, at the same time, they felt almost as if farther away, as if they were a dream, not quite real… I couldn't help it, I laughed again, my laughter quite different from the one I had let out less than five minutes before, but really, I couldn't help it.

"Son…?" Mother asked, obviously worried about me.

I smiled briefly at her, unable to hide the glee I was feeling inside. I was sure everyone could sense it, even if no one could understand what it was supposed to mean. Still feeling that same delight I spun around to face the Elders, smirking straight at them.

"You've lost." I announced with great satisfaction.

"You cannot interfere in this test…" The Elder began once again, in the same condescending, annoying tone as usual.

"Oh I'm not interfering." I assured him, never letting down the smirk. "I don't have to. I told you. You've lost already."

"The test isn't over yet." Another Elder insisted.

"It doesn't matter." I shook my head, still smiling. "Once she's gotten like that… it doesn't matter what you might do. It will all be useless."

"What did she do?" Thor wanted to know.

"She's in deep meditation." I answered honestly.

When it became obvious that no one actually understood what I meant with that, I elaborated as best I could (without going too much into details).

"My family knows already that Nightingale has been sick for years, a serious Midgardian sickness that, in most cases, is fatal." I said as emotionlessly as I could. "In its last stages it also tends to be very painful…" It was becoming harder for me to swallow, remembering that time was excruciating. "Nightingale never liked taking the strongest meds, said they messed with her head, made her feel fuzzy, unreal, disconnected… She hated it so much she searched for alternatives to handle the pain. She tried everything: special teas, exotic herbs, supposedly-natural remedies, relaxing music, hypnosis… and then she discovered meditation. It was the one she actually liked, and she was good at it. Capable of retreating into a corner of her mind, where she would be safe, where she didn't have to feel any pain, didn't have to suffer… It also allowed her rest, when normal sleep wasn't enough anymore."

"And she's in that deep mediation?" Odin inquired, curious. "She's not feeling anything?"

"She feels still, but it's low enough that she can handle it more easily, has less trouble convincing herself that it isn't real…" My smile only grew brighter as I finished my statement. "I imagine it must also help her differentiate what's real from what isn't." I stared straight at each Elder. "You will never be able to convince her now that I am the one trying to kill her. Not like you had much chance of that before, but now it truly is impossible. You've lost!"

My laughter after that must have sounded almost maniacal, but I was just so thrilled by it all. My love had found a way to fight back at what was being done to her, without actually invalidating the test. There were no rules against meditation, because no one ever expected it to be used against them! That was just her style, all passive aggressive… my Nightingale… My lady… mine… my bride… my match… all mine!

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Next week will have the conclusion of the Test as well as the Aftermath of it. All the realms will feel the consequences of the changes Nightingale has brought! In the end, it's all about Trust...

Please don't forget to review. See ya around!