Chapter 2 - Lipstick? Really?

He didn't remember getting home but when he finally calmed down, there were dresses scattered across the bed, a dark brown wig looking as if it wanted to crawl away from the whole mess or maybe chew on Merlin's leg when his back was turned, and all those other sundries Hilda had got for him, too.

The makeup was the worst, though. How he was supposed to know what to do with mascara or eye colour crèmes? Then there were brushes and two kinds of lipstick and something called foundation in a little glass container, and some darker pink colours in a plastic tray, and in a little round thing with a spongy pad and a mirrored lid, there was beigy-pink powder.

Powder?

He had no idea what that was even for - and he certainly couldn't ask his female friends. They'd want to know why and then once they got over the outrage, they'd be at the flat in a second, trying to turn him into a girl and giggling the entire time, well except for Morgana who might beat the crap out of Arthur for even suggesting the whole debacle.

And it was a debacle.

Picking up one of the scarves, a soft thing in shades of blue, absently winding it in and out between his fingers, he thought about the situation with Arthur.

It was ridiculous. Making him parade around as a girl was bad enough and just the idea made him both furious and sad but really it was Arthur trying to hide his true nature from Uther that troubled him the most.

It was the coward's way out, surprising since Arthur was usually nothing of the sort. Instead he tended to jump in with both feet whenever he saw injustice, fighting to make sure his friends weren't bullied or put upon, making sure those he thought in need were safe from predators.

In fact, on the day they met, when they were both just boys, Merlin had been cornered by bullies intent on beating him up for being different and a bit shy. Arthur had shoved himself into the situation and shown his true mettle. Never mind that the other boys were bigger than him, and that he ended up with a blackened eye and split lip. In that moment, Arthur was Merlin's hero. But then, when it was over and the other boys had fled, Arthur opened his big mouth and turned into an obnoxious prat.

After that, there were insults and scowls and almost-blows, and any hope of being friends evaporated into fierce competition. Even his mum had interfered once and with her sad disappointment, Merlin tried to do better after that, mostly by avoiding the pillock whenever possible.

It wasn't until uni when they met again that Merlin was finally able to see past the façade to the compassionate man underneath. It took some doing, too, lots of days and nights where they were at odds, but once Merlin realised that Arthur was hiding how he felt under a blustering, sod-it-all exterior, it was easy to love him for it. He still loved him for it.

That was also why it was painful to see Arthur so beaten down by his dad's drive for perfection. And embarrassment or not, that was why, in the end, Merlin agreed to lie about being Arthur's girlfriend.

He just wasn't sure he could pull it off, though, and was more than a little worried that if they were found out, Arthur would bear the consequences.

Lost in thought, he didn't hear the front door open or Arthur sneak up behind him. But when Arthur called out his name, Merlin jerked, then stumbled forward, landing on the bed. There was the sound of several things hitting the floor, and somehow the wig was prickling at his neck and getting into his eyes. He rolled off, then scrambling to his feet, he grabbed the wig, and threw it at a smiling Arthur. Of course, the git caught it easily.

"You've everything you need then?" Arthur looked at the wig a moment, then shook it from side to side as if to taunt Merlin before tossing it back to him. Merlin flinched out of the way, scowling at the wanker as he batted the wig aside. It ended up on the floor, mocking him.

Merlin's eyes narrowed. "They kept laughing at me at the shop."

There was a fleeting moment of concern on his face and then Arthur grinned. "Don't see why. You are enough of a girl as it is. You'd fit right in."

Typical Arthur reaction. When he didn't want to show how much he cared, he'd descend into insults and ridicule. Well, two could play at that game.

"Don't think girls have cocks, you cabbage head. And if I recall, you like mine quite a bit. In fact, last night, you begged for it, more than once." There was a flash of memory in Arthur's eyes and his smile turned a bit heated.

But much as he'd like to throw everything off the bed and shove Arthur down into it, they had things to discuss. He bent down, picked up the wig and put the hairy mess on top of the pile on the bed. "I'm not going back. The whole experience reminded me too much of getting bullied in school."

That seemed to sober Arthur. He gathered Merlin into his arms, pulling him close. "Merlin, you know I wouldn't ask you to do this if I thought my father would understand."

"I know." Merlin brushed his mouth against Arthur's for a moment, a quick apology, and then leaning against Arthur's shoulder, nuzzling at his throat, he said, "In the end, I had this nice woman helping me. Hilda, the floor manager. She ended up picking almost everything out for me."

"I'll send her flowers." Arthur shifted, raising his head a little to look at the purchases on the bed. "Do they fit properly? I'll love to see you all dressed up with the wig and makeup on." Then he drew back, staring down intently. He sounded eager, a hint of sly mockery in his voice. "Is that a bra I see?"

"Don't start."

"Kinky." Letting go of Merlin, Arthur moved to the bed and started sifting through it all, clearly looking for something. "Where are the knickers? There had better be a suspender belt in this pile, too, or do I have to send you out again?"

"You really are a bastard, you know." Merlin was gaping at him. Sometimes he couldn't believe what utter drivel was coming out of that perfect mouth.

"I'll take that as a no." Arthur looked at him as if he'd thought Merlin had gone crazy. "How can you wear stockings without suspenders?"

Arthur might be Merlin's hero but he could be a bloody prat at times and just ridiculous with how little he knew about women, especially considering he'd grown up with Morgana. "This isn't the Middle Ages. They've had stay-up stockings for decades. And tights. I don't need a sodding suspender belt, you ignorant git."

Frowning at him, Arthur looked a bit confused. There were tights in his hands and he kept waving them at Merlin as he said, "Alright, alright. Fine. But these, these are black. You need to get the skin coloured ones. You know that, right? Ones you can see through."

He couldn't be serious. Arthur couldn't think that Merlin was going to actually do girl things like shave his legs, could he? When Arthur looked down meaningfully at the tights and then stared back at Merlin, one eyebrow raised, Merlin gave a little shudder. Bloody hell, he did think exactly that; he did want Merlin to be a girl.

"No, I'm not shaving my legs, Arthur. Not doing it. No."

Merlin sent him a scowl that should have turned Arthur into the toad he was but instead of staring up at Merlin and croaking away, Arthur just smiled. "Spoilsport."

"Arse."

Arthur gave a little snort. "I want to see if it all works or if you need more things. When are you going to try them on?"

"When hell freezes over." Merlin folded his arms, staring at Arthur, letting him know that he wasn't trying on the dresses any time soon, not until he had to. "Wanker."

"It's pretty cold out now." But Arthur knew how to get past Merlin's stubborn determination. Tugging at his arms, getting Merlin to let go long enough to let Arthur in, he said, "I bet you'll look good enough to eat." Then he nibbled at Merlin's earlobe and then gave him a little lick right there, just the way he liked it. Merlin tried not to whine, he did, but Arthur had a way of breaking through his defences.

It took a while before he could say, "Good enough to eat? Don't need to be a girl for that." Trying to keep control of the situation and not end up agreeing to everything Arthur wanted, he pulled back a bit. "Honestly Arthur, I can't pull this off. I don't know how to act like a girl…."

When Arthur just smirked at him, mouthing out 'girl' in that irritating but oh-so-Arthur way he had, Merlin said, "Don't start. I can put on the dresses, but the makeup? And the wig? And walking right and... he'll see right away I'm a man dressed up in women's clothing and then where will you be?"

"By your side." His voice sounded as determined and sincere as Merlin had ever heard and he choked up a little at the emotion of it. Sometimes Arthur left him breathless.

Giving Merlin a sharp hug and then letting him go, waving his hands toward the bed, Arthur said, "Look, don't worry about it. I can help you with the makeup and the wig. It's not that hard. Just don't overdo it and you'll be fine."

"How do you know? When was the last time you put on makeup? Or a wig?" Merlin had been making a joke of it all but there was a look in Arthur's eyes and a slight blush to his cheeks that told Merlin there was something more to it. "Arthur?"

Arthur looked away, his cheeks reddening further. "Well, um… you've met my sister, right?"

"Yeah, so?" Oh, this should be good. Arthur was hiding something, something big and with every second, he seemed to grow more embarrassed about it.

"Well, Morgana was worse as a kid." He glanced at Merlin and then stared off into the distance. His voice, usually loud and strong, had turned into mumbles and Merlin had to lean in to hear what he had to say. "And… um as her younger brother, she pretty much ran the house like a dictatorship. Father wasn't around much and she… well, I was easily intimidated, at least with her."

Morgana was pretty intimidating as an adult. He could imagine she'd be terrifying as a kid, especially to a younger brother."And?"

"Well… um, she liked to try on different types of makeup… on…me."

He tried not to laugh, truly he did but he was choking on it. He could picture a younger Arthur, running around looking like something out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, with suspenders and stockings and wild makeup, and that only made it harder to keep it in. He let out a choked gasp, hoping that Arthur wouldn't take it too badly.

But Arthur knew him too well. Looking a bit hurt, he said sharply, "Not funny, Merlin."

That just tipped it and he was coughing and laughing, trying to catch his breath and pretend it wasn't him finding it hilarious. "Yes, it is."

"Is not."

It took a while but a couple of wheezes later, Merlin sobered up. He could see how Arthur was pretending not to be upset about it and it made him feel badly for how he'd reacted. "Okay, okay. So you can help me with makeup and the wig. But it's still not going to work, you know."

"I have every faith in you. After all, all your colleagues say you are brilliant. I'm sure a budding engineer bent on saving the world can figure out how to pretend to be a girl."

Merlin smiled at him, hoping to tease him a bit to ease the hurt. "I thought you said I was already a girl."

Leaning down, Arthur swept everything off the bed, pulled Merlin to him, nuzzled at his neck. "Don't want a girl. Just want you." And then he proceeded to show him just how much.

It was amazing.

Arthur was really good with the makeup. And after he'd persuaded Merlin with that tongue thing he did, Merlin went out and bought a suspender belt, too. Kinky bugger. But he still wasn't shaving his legs. Not for anyone, not even for the man he loved. No.