Chapter 3: Taking the Risk
Disclaimer: I do not own Ghost Hunt.
A million thoughts ran through Naru's mind as Mai led them to the living room, all the while holding his hand.
Wrong!? Then why is she holding my hand? GASP! Oh my god, she's going to leave me. I know this situation well like the back of my hand. Since this is how I end things on my past short-lived dates. Being nice and gentle before dropping the bomb of "You're nice BUT.." Why didn't I foresee this!? I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have kissed her. It was stupid of me to act on my emotions. I will never listen to them again! Our long-standing platonic-most-of-the-time-flirty-friendship has finally come to an end just because I kissed her. I mean, would you like it if your friends suddenly kissed you? I know I don't, specially if it's not Mai. Argh! Stupid moronic thoughts. Wait. I used stupid twice. Shit. I'm being redundant. Can't I think of words other than stupid to express my illogical actions!? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Should I apologize? Say, "Ha! Fooled you!" No. That's so insensitive of me. God damn it! This is torture! Mai, please say something! You are really killing me here! What if—
His ramblings stopped when Mai cleared her throat and gestured him to sit on the sofa. He complied stiffly, making his uneasiness apparent in broad daylight even though half of the room is basked in dim lighting.
He could feel her eyes on him. Slowly, and nervously, he directed his eyes on her face while landing on her bright brown ones and making a firm connection. He inwardly gulped. The beating of his heart in tune to his indistinct quivering. A big lump of regret is starting to manifest in his chest. Thinking back, maybe a joke is needed in this awkward state. The thought suddenly drizzled to nothingness when he saw the seriousness that clearly adorned his friend's face.
And when Mai is serious, she's hell-bent on expressing it openly.
He watched anxiously as Mai attentively scoured his face for any sign of, well, he really doesn't know. Love? Honesty? Sincerity? Lust? Just what is she thinking?
"Naru."
"Yes?"
She smiled lovingly at him which left him flabbergasted and blushing. Not just any normal blush but blushingly red, like Mai when he teases her. He uncharacteristically placed a hand over his burning cheeks to somehow cover his profound embarrassment.
"Oh. My. Gosh. Naru.. You—But—I mean-"
He would have laughed at Mai for her gawking face if not for the fact that it was him she was gawking at. Her face is a combination of unbelieving-widened eyes, discontent-scrunched up eyebrows and skeptical-gaping mouth. All in all, she cannot believe what's happening.
"Since when?"
"When I want to mince into oblivion the guy you went out with a few years ago then dumping you because of shallow reasons."
She stared at him for a while before blurting out.
"I.. I thought it was because you felt sorry for me. Come to think of it, you were pretty darned angry. So that's why you're so frustrated when I told you why."
"No."
"What?"
"I was not angry."
Mai looked at him confused. Her face has the what-the-hell-do-you-mean look.
"I was furious."
"Oh."
"Enraged actually."
"Okay."
Mai couldn't help but giggle at Naru's honesty. She felt happy. Like this was a dream come true. A blush grazed her features and it didn't go unnotice by the young man next to her.
"You really are beautiful."
Their eyes clashed again, hinting at something they both know. Something they both want, for a really long time. The next thing they knew, they were ravishing each other's lips feverishly not letting go of the moment.
They knew each other's love/sex life. If you can call it that. Naru and Mai are not innocent to kissing, holding hands, the typical couple demeanors although both of them have confided to each other to the point of admitting not having been done it before. Close to doing it but didn't. Saying that something was missing.
Naru's mind is clearly not functioning at its best. All he can think of is Mai. Her skillful tongue and sweet lips had him begging for more. She had got to be the best kisser out of all the past girls he had dated. And somehow he wanted her to be the only one. Hoping that she will be the last girl he will ever kiss. He then had the sudden urge to look at her. See her. So he abruptly stopped resulting a small groan of protest from the brown-haired-hopefully-soon-to-be-his young woman. He didn't even realize he had her pinned to his spacious loveseat couch. Further assessing their current position, he noticed how suggestive they were. He was in between her legs; her checkered skirt sprawled on her mid thigh giving him a glimpse of her colored undergarments under her thin stockings. Her white scarf almost falling off the side of the couch and their hands intertwined and pinned above her head. She was sporting a long-sleeve shirt with a deep v-neck cut. So that's why she's wearing a scarf. His eyes greedily took in her ever present delectable cleavage. He would have liked to resume their earlier antics but her words earlier resonated in his head.
Why now of all times do I have the feeling of wanting to know the meaning behind those words?
"Naru?"
He looked at her and contemplated of voicing out his thoughts. He would either thank or kill himself later on. The need to know is significantly eating him up.
"You said earlier, in the hallway, when I first kissed you that this is wrong. I want to know why."
Mai's eyes widened for a moment as if his words slapped her a hundred times when something like realization dawned on her. Naru was now regretting his actions. Couldn't he just enjoy the moment he have with her? No. He just had to ruin it.
"Someone asked me out."
His grip on her tightened, not realizing he had narrowed his eyes and his facial features turned grim. His heart ached painfully at the thought that he had lost his chance with her. His emotions were radiating off of him visibly that made Mai tumble on her next words in haste to calm the raging man on top of her.
"B-but I didn't say yes yet. I told him I'll think about it and to not get his hopes up."
That seemed to calm him a little. But she knows he would not stop interrogating her just yet.
"That's not all, is it?"
Should she tell him? But then she knows that it's a waste of time. She'll just be contradicting herself.
Naru saw the hesitation present in Mai's face and is deliberating if he should push more. Although he does want to push his hips into her to—Fuck! Take your mind out of the gutter Noll!
"I.. I decided I want to tell you that.."
"That?"
His anxiety is making him nervous. He doesn't know if he wanted to hear her or not. Guess it's too late to back out now.
"I'll be giving up on you. To take my dating a serious matter of moving on from you. Yes, I liked all of the men I have dated but at the same time I loved you still. Even though we were both in a relationship at that time I can't help but think of you. I really really wanted to ask you out, confess to you again hoping that somehow you grew to like me just a tiny bit."
By then, tears had fallen and are still falling down her face. She wanted to cover her face but couldn't remembering Naru still had them in his grasp.
"I was so happy we grew closer day by day. Our pure business relationship turned into a very special friendship I will forever treasure. And the thought of risking that just for my personal selfish reasons is making me sick. I don't want to lose you, Naru. I've.. We've come a long way and I don't want to lose it."
He couldn't believe it. Here he was thinking he was the only one hurting and never taken into account that Mai may also have been thinking the same things. How narrow-minded could he get? All those times when he started dating other girls, the way she forcefully smiled at them, making friends with them, giving them love advice, making him feel better after a break-up(even though there was no need since most of those girls were just after his looks and goods). How insensitive he was for not noticing her. She had been a true friend. He knew he should have claimed her his after her awful experience with the guy he wanted to mutilate. Maybe now's the right time to do the thing he had been wanting to.
"Hey Naru.."
"Mai, I .."
Both of them stared at each other, feeling a bit uncomfortable. He then eased himself on the other side of the sofa bringing her to a sitting position as well.
"You go first Mai."
"Okay."
She took a deep breath and looked directly at him. Her unknown resolve not wavering a bit making Naru increasingly worried for what she was about to say.
"I want to know if you are willing to ride the tides with me."
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