Molly didn't fall back to sleep that night, she was still awake at 8 when Frank brought Denise home. When they walked into the house it shook Molly to her very core. They looked feeble, both of them leaning on one another. She never thought of them like that before. Her father was always so strong and her mother steady and solid. Now he could barely walk and she had to lean on him for support. Molly got up and ran to her mother holding her tight.

"I'm sorry mom."

"It's okay baby I'll be okay . Just got overwrought." She looked at her grandchildren and smiled "I'm home you guys want breakfast?"

"No Dee you aren't cooking."

"Well I was going to ask Molly to go get pastries from the bakery."

"Sure mom just let me wash my face."

Frank tried to usher Denise into bed but she refused, "It was just a stress attack honey, I am okay, but you won't be if you keep up like you are cause I'll knock you too the moon." She kissed his nose. "Come give Grandma hugs!"

As Molly went for the pastries and Frank got coffee going Denise cuddled with her grandchildren. Teela and JJ on each side and the baby was on her lap."I glad you did not go to heaven grandma."

Denise looked at her grandson. "Thank you JJ I'm glad too"

"Do you still feel bad?" asked Teela.

"No just a little tired . I'm glad to be home with my family."

And she was, Denise recovered from her scare very nicely. Frank on the other hand was having a hard time accepting his wife had only been upset not seriously ill. He was lying now more than ever about how he felt and what he needed. It was hurting Denise so badly to know he'd been hurt by Joe and didn't tell her, to know he wasn't sleeping and didn't tell her. It all hurt so much.

A few days later she watched him slid on his shirt and saw the bruise on his back. It was healing but it looked never said a never said anything when he met with Joe to discuss his anger management she tried to bring it up Frank told her it was between them for the moment.

"Between you?" she asekd. "So Joe's your wife now?" She rolled her eyes. She was done with the silence. "Fine Frank I'm sick of this crap. He hits our baby screams and yells then he knocks you down and you stand up for him! I'm your wife, your partner for life, and you are cutting me out. I don't like it not one damn bit."

"How did you know about that?" he asked. "How did you know he..." Frank was shocked she knew about the issues with Joe.

Things disintegrated into an all out knock down drag out fight. They each yelled, screamed, Frank threw his coffe cup at the wall...it was mayhem until the ringing of the phone silenced them both. It seemed to be getting worse and worse. Frank took the call, paled, and sat down. "Okay. all right honey, it's all right. You hold onto your Momma for me and Dee and I, we're coming, I'll call Zach on the way, just try to calm her down." He hung up, "Get your purse, that was Emmalin."

Denise didn't need to ask what happened, she could sense it. She obeyed her husband and got her bag, sending a rapid text to her daughter to let her know they'd be out of touch for the next little while.

She was stiff as a board in the seat, "You gonna talk to me Dee?" he asked. "No, I'm not going to talk to you, Frank. You are lying to me now, choosing that...person over me! What if you got hurt, you didn't say anything."

Frank snapped, "Enough with this for now Dee, my best friend is dead!"

Denise looked at Frank in shock, "What are you saying ...Michael is dead. What happened?"

"Emmalin said he and Claudia Joy were in the kitchen fixing breakfast he turned to her and dropped dead right on the floor." Denise squeezed her eyes shut -this was her greatest fear.

They pulled up to the Holden house, "Claudia Joy is hysterical, Emmalin is hysterical..." Frank sighed. "And I'm not doing too well right now Dee."

Denise hugged Claudia Joy as the woman cried and Frank held onto Emmalin."We were making breakfast he turned ...and just fell to the floor I tried CPR nothing happened. I called Emmalin... OMG he's gone"

Denise soothed her friend. "It's all right. It's going to be all right. Let's go sit down and have a sip of juice."

The police called for the county coroner to release the body to be picked up. Frank and Denise made the women sit in the living room where Denise checked Claudia Joy's blood sugar. "Now what, Frank what's going to happen to daddy?'

"The coroner will take his body to the morgue they will call us later for additional information."

"I want to know how he died," Claudia Joy told him. "I want to know what took him from me." Frank nodded and made sure the men from the coroner's office knew. He was being so brave and strong for everyone. Densie watched him holding Emmalin and brushing back Claudia Joy's hair. He could be so tender, what happened to them. Things were so hard at home now.

Emmalin hugged her mom crying .This was her dad he was never sick, he would live forever. What happened? Denise reached for Frank's hand. She needed to feel his warmth , that he was alive. He looked at her and smiled sadly he understood.

They stayed at the Holden's that night, Zach was on business and wouldn't be back until the next day. He was very quiet when they got into the bed that night, "Dee..." It was a mere squeak as her fought not to cry.

"Dee I'm sorry we haven't talked..This brings home alot I don't want to lose you or the kids".

"That's how I feel too," she replied. "I don't want to lose you either. I want to feel so alone. I dont' want to be like Claudia Joy."

"I don't want you to feel alone, or like Claudia Joy. But Dee we all die hopefully later."He pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her softly "I know we've had it rough sometimes but Dee I love you so much".

"I love you too," se replied. "Can you promise to just take it a little slower?" she asked. "Please." She placed tiny kisses on his jaw.

"Yeah baby as much as I can the next couple of days are gonna be rough for everybody." He looked at her and brushed her hair back, "You know you have some grey streaks?"

"Yeah and you have grey too old man," she started to laugh and hugged him tight.

"Not old, distinguished," Frank teased. "I can't believe he's gone Dee. He's always been there, with Jeremy, with Molly, with you, he's been there for all of that and now...he's gone...the first of our friends to die...that's...that hurts, Dee" He held her closer.

"I know Frank its scary. It's the abyss that's in front of us.I saw it once before when you and jeremy were deployed together to AFghanistan.I watched you walk onto that plane not knowing the outcome. The unknown is scary." She hugged him tighter than before."Dee I'll try to be more open and not hide things but you also have to be open to me as well." She nodded yes.

When Frank fell asleep Denise snuck down to call her daughter. They were very close as adults, sharing a lot of things. She needed to hear from her friend things were okay. "Hey Mom?" Molly said picking up the phone. "Kids are all asleep, how is it going over there?"

"It's sad hon Claudia Joy is devastated and so is Emmalin. Being here with daddy has made us take a hard look at our life and how much we love each 've been together for over 40 years . I'm scared Molly daddy isn't young anymore neither am I."

"I know Mommy," Molly said gnelty. "The other night when you had to go to the hospital he...was crying. Daddy was crying, I've never seen him cry, I didn't know he could cry. He was always Daddy. I'm glad I'm home now wher I an help you. Do you have any idea what to do for his 70th, it's next month?"

"I had planned on a party with our was daddy's best friend. Now I don't know."

"Well we could have a family party, you, daddy, me the kids and Joe. He should be finished with his classes by 've been talking he sounds know he and daddy have been talking, I think it has been helping Joe."I can even plan the party as a surprise. I think he will like that".

Denise quickly agreed then had another thought, "Remember Daddy's favorite movie? What they did at the end for the old general. Try to get in touch with Joan Burton and a few others, see how may of his men we can round up, give him a really special surprise." Denise was beaming now. Her husband would be so happy.

"Can I ask Claudia Joy and Emmalin?" Denise smiled "Sure but if they don't want to come don't be upset."

"I won't mom ,how are you feeling any pain or discomfort"?

"I'm fine," Denise assured her. "I feel great, Daddys' back is still bothering him though he won't let anyone examine him." Denise heard Claudia Joy come downstairs, "I have to go now, honey. We'll be home soon."

"You okay Claudia Joy? Can I get you anything?"

"No its so lonely in our room. I keep listening for him to come up the stairs or in from the 's gone really gone ...How am I going to go on without him Denise, he was my everything now I have nothing." She fell into Denise's arms sobbing.

"That's not true," Denise soothed. "It's not true at all. You have Emmalin and your grandchildren and me...you have me ad Frank, don't you ever forget that."

"That's not true," Denise soothed. "It's not true at all. You have Emmalin and your grandchildren and me...you have me ad Frank, don't you ever forget that." Bookmark

They talked for a few more minutes then Denise convinced her to go back upstairs to try and sleep tomorrow was going to be hard. Claudia Joy fell asleep holding one of Michael's leaned against the door jam holding herself feeling her loss as well.

Over the next few days Denise didn't have time to be upset or worried, she had her hands full of Claudia Joy and Frank. She was tring to be a friend and a wife and it was hard, they were both suffering and nothing she did was making it better. The night of the burial she slid in bed with Frank and tried to initiate intimacy.

Frank kissed her and held her but he couldn't complete what Dee wanted. His grief was too fresh it hurt so bad. His best friend of over 20 years was gone. His buddy ,his brother in arms, his man confidant of the years. "I'm sorry Dee I just can' me hold you."As he did silent tears slid down his face. Denise never saw them because he hid his face from her.

As if she wanted to make him hurt worse than he was already she whispered into his chest, "Why don't you want me?"

"Dee please honey I love you but I can't just can't. It's not you it's me please".

She didn't say anything else just laid there still and silent. Since her affair so many years ago they never ever failed to love one another, this was the first time in all those years that he turned her down when she asked him to show her his love. "When can we go home?" she asked after a few minutes of fighting back tears of pain.

"In the morning after need to make sure everybody is okay here then we'll leave." Denise turned on her side and held her hands to her chest.

That movement got his attention, "You having cest pain again?"

"No I don't have chest pain, I needed you . I lost Michael too. I could lose you too it scares me".

He sat up, "Wait a minute, you're angry at me because I won't have sex with you in the same house my best friend died in three days ago? That's honestly what you're mad about?"

"Frank listen to me I need you understand I watched Claudia Joy realize her life from now on will be alone. I don't want that, I want to feel you with me. I need it in my soul Frank".

"What about what I need in my soul?" he asked her. "I need you to understand how much it hurts, this hurts, you still have your best friend, you have the person you went to when you couldn't come to me, I don't have that anymore and I didn't even let him know what he meant to me! I can't give you anything right now Dee, I don't have it inside of me to give. If I touched you in that way now...I might as well leave a twenty on the dresser when I was through."

Denise sat up stunned. She got out of bed and went downstairs to sleep on the couch. Frank sat up holding his head .He was getting a headache and he didn't have the energy to go down and continue fighting with reluctantly laid back down and eventyually fell into an uneasy sleep.

Claudia Joy woke her friend in the morning, "Hey, what are you doing down here by yourself. Frank's upstairs still right?"

Denise sat up rubbing her eyes, "We had a fight last night."

She sat down next to her. "Every moment, Denise...is precious. Three days ago I had a husband and now that's gone. Whatever it is, it's not worth it. I hate to bring it up but Frank's not looking too good this trip. He's never looked his age and now...he is looking 70."

"I know and it scares since his heart attack and bypass I feel like our lives are stepping on egg shells." She wiped her eyes, "I wanted intimacy last night but he couldn't, he wouldn't, it hurt me."

"I'll talk to him for you," Claudia Joy said offering a small smile. "Can you make some of those crepes?" Denise nodded and Claudia Joy went to talk to Frank. "Hey, I just saw your wife sleeping on my couch. That's the lsat place I'd be if I had...a chance to...still be with Micahel."

Frank put his hands on his hips "I know you mean well Claudia Joy and I love her with everything I have but even I have my limits. And I have reached it, why can't she see that".

"Sit down, Frank," Claudia Joy said softly. "Denise made me promise never to tell you this but I have to."

One Year Earlier

When the Holden's arrived they were floored. Frank was lying in the CCU bed, pale as the sheets he lay open, head tilted back, mouth agape...he looks so weak and frail...not at all like the strong capabe soldier and friend they knew he was. His entire body seemed to be swollen, Denise was cradling his hand in hers. She saw them and ran to Michael's arms, then to Claudia JOy's. They kept vigil with her as he slipped and developed pneumonia. One night Molly and Michael stayed so Denise could get rest. She complained the whole way home of a headache.

Claudia Joy had to giver her medication to get over it.

"He's going to die I know it."

Claudia Joy looked at her as she drove her home, "Denise you need to rest .Ypu'll see Frank will look better in the doctor told you that tonight would be the has hope that the meds for the pnemonia will kick in by tomorrow. You have to think and be positive for Frank. He needs you .When you get home try to sleep.I'll be by at nine to take you back to the hospital".

Denise nodded and let Claudia Joy help her inside. As she went to the medicine cabinet thought Densie jumped on her, "No don't go...!" It was too late, she'd opened the door. She saw them there, pills...bottles and bottles of pills, all from different doctors and pharmacies, all with recent dates...Claudia Joy looked at her friend as she began to sob, "I can't live without him...I just can't."

Present

"Do you understand what I mean Frank? Michael and I loved one another so very much but what you have with Denise...is so much more unique. Do with this what you will, but if you want to hurt your wife...cut her to the depths of her heart...keepthis up...just keep it up!" She left him to chew on it.

Frank looked at the floor chewing on his lip. He couldn't lose wiped his face with his hands and walked out the door and down the stairs to talk to his wife.

Denise was folding up the bedding, making sure things were straightened up before they left Claudia Joy. The poor woman. She knew how she felt on a smaller scale, alone...needing something so badly but not getting heard Frank enter the room, she ignored him. If that's how he wanted it to be, that's how it would be.

"Dee can we talk?"

"What's there to said it all last night."

"Aren't you going to turn around and look at me when we talk?" She dropped the bedding and turned to look at him she was still angry.

"I'm sorry," he said gently. "I am sorry that I hurt your feelings last night. This has nothing to do with you or us...and I need you to understand that. This is a very hard time for me and I'd like to think after 49 years of marriage you would know that."

Dee crossed her arms and tapped her foot, "Last night I was lonely scared .I felt frozen inside like half of me was I'm with you I feel complete. I understand your loss but last night I felt so lost and I needed to connect with you in a way only we can, in a way that's for us alone! Michael was in excellent health and he just died, you had a heart attack and bypass surgery . I feel like the other shoe is going to drop. Believe me every day with you is a gift I thought you felt the same way."

"I do," Frank said softly trying to move closer to her. "I do feel that way. A few days ago, holding you while you were unconscious...I was so afraid...I love you so much, Denise..." Tears stung his eyes. "I love you so so much. Last night had nothing to do with that."

Denise waved her hand "Look let's not discuss this now , when we get is waiting for us."

He followed her into the dining room his hands hanging down by his side feeling defeated.

He barely touched his plate. Mostly just moved the food around in circles. He felt sick again, but if he told her...she's get so upset so he just kept his silence and played with his breakfast, he even left the coffee behind.

Claudia Joy watched them and knew there was trouble brewing but she didn't know how to help, she had to deal with her loss and it was they left she hugged both and whispered to Denise , "Please talk to him, don't let this go on, time is so precious."

She waved as they drove away and closed the door. She looked around the house and sighed "Oh Michael I miss you so much."