Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Sadly!
Maya sighed as she surveyed her locker. She had been trying really hard to focus on school, but visions of Cam dominated her mind. Her grip on the locker door tightened as she thought about not seeing him for two days. Even though the doctor gave the okay to visit Cam after the emergency 24-hour period, Katie convinced Maya to wait at least an extra day to let Cam adjust to his stay in the hospital. With the therapy sessions, psychiatric evaluations, and strict rules, Cam really needed to make a huge adjustment, especially considering the fact that two days ago he planned not being here at all. Maya shut her eyes as a wave of raw despair engulfed her mind and heart—she couldn't forget the memory of finding Cam in the greenhouse no matter how hard she tried shaking it out of her. Wanting nothing more than to erase the memory from her mind, Maya forced her eyes to open and tried to train her mind to think of something else.
Her thoughts now drifted to the surprise visit she received from Cam's family the other day. His mom, dad, and older brother had booked a flight to Toronto the moment they received a call from Mr. Simpson. Seeing the Saunders family on her front porch was a surprise but a welcomed one. She thought of how happy Cam would be to finally see the family he had been missing since departing for Toronto. Their presence in this moment would be a lifesaver for him—his suicide attempt was in no doubt a threatening burden in his worn mind, and it was too soon to tell if he would ever try again. He probably will. The disturbing thought propelled her back to the moment of meeting his family in person for the first time.
The faces of each Saunders held a different emotion, but all fell in the category of miserable. His father, a moderately tall man with dark brown hair speckled with traces of gray, barely managed a shaky smile when he first greeted Maya. His eyes graced the floor the entire time as if an answer to his current nightmare lay there. The man couldn't help but feel immense guilt; he had been the one pushing Cam to seek NHL glory, constantly reminding his youngest son that hockey was his life, and he needed to dedicate his entire being to the sport if he ever wanted to amount to anything. Words that had once been spoken enthusiastically by Gale seemed so destructive now; he was ashamed.
Cam's older brother Nate, the spitting image of Cam himself with his light brown hair and sweet smile, gave Maya a big hug when he had the had the chance to officially greet her. Caught off guard by the action, Maya could only smile in return. However, her smile faded the moment she heard Nate speaking to her, "Thank you for saving my brother's life." His weak smile faltered when he finished, immediately being replaced by a solemn expression. Maya fought against the tears flooding her eyes, managing to merely nod in response. The idea of not finding Cam in time was terrifying enough to hinder her ability to breathe; she had to block the thought out of her head before she had another panic attack.
Lastly, Cam's mother approached her. Despite the dark circles underneath her eyes that screamed no sleep, her defeated posture, and her fatigued expression, Leigh still embraced Maya lovingly and reassured the tiny blonde that, "Everything will be alright." The older woman's soft sniffle betrayed her struggling optimism, but she was able to keep her tears to herself for the time being. "We just came back from the hospital."
Maya's ears perked at her words and responded almost too excitedly, "How is he?"
Leigh's heart broke a little more when she saw the desperation that covered the girl's face. This paired with her son's misery was almost too much for the strong woman to handle. She cleared her throat, trying to maintain a steady tone. "He is okay. I found him holding a cute little owl, "she paused as a smile graced her face, "He was concentrating on the little guy; he seemed calm." Cam's mother smiled even further when she noticed the ghost of a small smile appear on Maya's face. "You should go see him. I know he's eager to see you."
Maya's smile disappeared as she bit the corner of her lip in frustration. "He didn't say anything about being disappointed that I haven't visited him yet?" Her voice rose nervously, "My sister told me it was a good idea to give him another day or two to adjust. Plus, I wanted you all to get to see him first."
The members of Cam's family looked at Maya with gratitude. Leigh spoke on behalf of all of them, "We really appreciate that sweetie. But, I definitely think you should visit Cam as soon as you can. He will love it." She patted Maya's shoulder. "There are visiting hours for people other than family from three to 5 o'clock tomorrow."
Maya managed to form small smile, "Tomorrow." She promised, "I'll be there."
Returning from the flashback, Maya reached out to adjust the small, square vase filled with sunflowers and a couple of the pink roses Cam had gotten her as an apology. Maya had gone to the florist shortly after Cam's family left her house and bought the vase along with a couple of sunflowers—Cam's favorite—to create a simple arrangement. She wanted to create the arrangement herself rather than just buy one already made; it made it more personal. After inspecting the flowers, she moved her hand to rest upon her right wrist, which was adorned by a handmade, braided bracelet. The intricately threaded blue and green bracelet was another gift for Cam. She made it in hopes of cheering him up and giving him another reminder of her to carry with him as he stays in the hospital. She sighed, hoping that everything would cheer him up. She was about to close her locker door when a familiar voice called her name.
"Maya!" Shouted Zig as he jogged down the hallway.
Maya turned around in response and waved half heartedly, "Hey Zig." She frowned once she noticed his agitation. "Everything okay?"
Zig stopped in order to catch his breath, dreading the conversation already. "I haven't seen you since…" he scratched his head in discomfort, "Well, you know."
Maya bit her lip. "Yeah." She replied grudgingly. "I didn't see you at the hospital." She concentrated her gaze on the floor, "I know you and Cam aren't close, but I figured under the circumstances." Her voice faltered, unable to finish the sentence.
Zig stared at Maya uncertainly, debating as to how he was going to tell her. He took a deep breath, desperate to get it over with. "I said something to Cam that day." He gulped nervously when Maya's light brown eyes met his.
"What did you say?" She continued to stare at him, waiting for his answer.
Zig ran a hand through his hair, "I was so mad after he hit me, and you taking him back…" His voice faltered, his eyes gazing into hers almost longingly.
Maya ignored the intensity of Zig's stare, choosing only to focus on her detained, distraught boyfriend sitting alone in a hospital room. The image impelled her anger, "What did you say to him?"
Despite feeling guilty over Cam's suicide attempt, Zig couldn't help but feel jealousy creep into his mind. Jaw clenched, Zig answered, "I called him a psycho." He gestured to his black eye, "I think that's pretty self explanatory."
Maya literally saw red when she heard Zig's answer. Feeling a surge of adrenaline rush through her, she slammed her locker shut and stepped closer to him. "You did what?" She asked menacingly. She felt disgust for her friend. "How could you, Zig? He's sick!" She ran both hands through her hair, tugging at the curly, blonde strands violently. She muttered to herself, "No. No, why?"
Zig remained frozen, afraid to spark more of a reaction from the livid girl. He had never seen Maya this angry. "I don't know what to say," he mumbled. "I had no idea he would do that."
Maya scoffed, "Well. He did. He tried." The grip on her head tightened as she squealed in frustration, drawing the attention of the Degrassi students lingering in the hallway.
Cautiously taking a step closer, Zig pleaded with her. "Maya, I was angry. I know it's not an excuse, but…" he stopped once Maya's hand shot out in front of her, warning him to stop talking. She released a shaky breath as she whipped her locker door open, grabbing the flowers as carefully as possible despite her anger. She closed it violently once more, the sound of the slam resounding through the halls. Now everyone was officially staring at them.
"I need to go see my boyfriend." Not wanting to hear or care about Zig's response, Maya walked away without giving him a second glance. She wanted to see Cam now more than ever.
The boy on Maya's mind lay still upon the uncomfortable hospital bed. His eyes had not left the ceiling all day, since his family left for a couple of hours. Every nurse who had tried to coax him out of his trance gave up due to his stubbornness. He didn't care if they thought he lost his mind, which he did. In all honesty, Cam felt nothing at all. His apathy definitely had something to do with the heavy dose of medication the psychiatrist prescribed to keep him calm, but he also knew it came from a natural place. His depression had finally worn him down, suffocating his mind to the point where he couldn't think coherently. He just felt pain, emptiness, and hopelessness. His eyes fluttered closed, feeling a wave of exhaustion overcome him. His grip on Hoot loosened as he fell into a peaceful sleep—the only form of temporary relief he had from his bleak reality.
A timid Maya peeked her head through the slightly open door, pausing to glance back at a nurse who nodded at her encouragingly. With the nurse's gesture, she opened the door completely to step inside, slowly closing it behind her. Her heartbeat quickened, like it always did when she saw Cam. Despite wanting to throw her arms around him and never let go, Maya respected the fact that he was resting. Instead, she decided to calmly tip toe across the room. Bending down to place the flowers on his bedside table, she smiled genuinely as she saw how Cam hugged Hoot in his sleep. It was adorable. Her smiled faltered; however, when she noticed the bandages wrapped around his arms. The image of the abandoned garden shears and Cam's bleeding arms assaulted her mind, causing tears to fill her eyes.
She doesn't wipe them away as they fall, choosing instead to brush the bangs covering Cam's eyes to the side and pressing her lips softly against his forehead. She mumbled, "love you" as she pulled away, turning to grab a chair from the corner of the room. When she turned back around, a pair of dark brown eyes were gazing into hers. Her heart stopped, "Cam." She stood in her place, not sure how Cam was going to react.
Cam blinked a couple of times to make sure he wasn't dreaming. When he realized the image of his girlfriend was not disappearing, he lifted his hand weakly in her direction. Maya didn't hesitate as she gently grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers through his.
"Cam," she whispered, sitting on the hard, plastic chair. The two teenagers fell into silence, both refusing to look away from each other's eyes.
Opening his mouth to say something, Cam frowned when his mind went blank. He didn't know what to say to her. Sitting in front of him was the only lifeline that kept him alive for this long. Seeing her tears silenced him and left an overbearing feeling of disgust that he directed at himself; he caused all of her pain. The guilty boy closed his eyes just in time for his tears to spill down his face. He kept them closed as he cried silently.
Panicking, Maya stood up to bring her face closer to Cam's. Gently brushing away his tears, she pleaded with him. "Cam, please. What's wrong?" She placed her hand on his face, stroking it soothingly. "Don't cry. It's making Hoot sad." She forced a weak laugh at her lame attempt at a joke. She noted sadly that he kept crying. Removing her hand from his tear stricken face, Maya picked up Hoot and placed him against Cam's cheek. "See, Hoot just gave you a kiss to make you feel better." She smiled down at the crying boy, but the smile didn't last as Cam continued to cry. Defeated, she placed Hoot next to him. She couldn't resist moving in a little closer, placing her forehead against his. "I'm here, Cam. Don't forget that." Maya pulled her face away to sit down, but Cam's hand stopped her.
Feeling a mix of overwhelming love and guilt towards the girl, Cam impulsively lifted the hand that wasn't linked in Maya's and grasped the back of her head. Before Maya could process what was happening, Cam's lips crashed against hers. Closing her eyes at the contact, Maya returned the kiss despite its force. She felt Cam's desperation through the action, but her mind turned to mush as soon as his lips touched hers, as always. She sighed against his lips, allowing him to press his lips even harder against her own. Needing to take a breath, Maya pulled away but froze when she heard Cam's breathless voice, "Don't leave me."
Maya frowned, feeling her heart break as she looked into his doleful eyes, which resembled that of an adorable, sad puppy. The look on its own convinced Maya to initiate the kiss this time, pressing her lips against his in an effort to convince him of her feelings. Cam's grip on her head tightened, trying to deepen the kiss, but to his disappointment, Maya pulled away again. "I'm never going anywhere," she whispered confidently, her lips lightly brushing against his swollen ones. "Okay?" She nuzzled her nose against his before placing a gentle kiss near the corner of his mouth.
Cam's released a strained breath, while his hand fell limply on the bed. He never broke eye contact with Maya, "I'm so messed up." His voice cracked as a few stray tears trickled down his face.
A sharp pain tore through Maya's heart. She fell silent, knowing that there was nothing that she could say to make him feel better. His suicide attempt lay between them, creating a stifling distance. Neither knew how to explain their feelings. Maya simply reassured him, "You're one of the greatest people I know." She unlinked her hand from his for a moment, so that she could remove the bracelet she made for him. Without an explanation, she tied it around his bandaged wrist.
Cam's lips twitched into a smile at her words. He admired the bracelet. "You made this for me?"
Maya nodded, running a finger down his cheek.
Cam glanced at the colorful arrangement of flowers sitting by his side, "And those. You got my favorite." He maintained the small smile for a moment longer, recognizing the pink roses popping up between the sunflowers. For a brief instant, he felt the burden of his sorrow lift from his heart. Tears filled his eyes again, only this time in gratitude for the girl in front of him. "Thank you," he stated sincerely. Eyes never leaving the flowers, he reached for Maya's hand, leaving a kiss on her open palm. After the kiss, he gripped her hand tightly, afraid to let go.
With her hand clasped in his, Maya bent down once more to settle her lips onto his, conveying a promise. She wouldn't leave him.
A/N: Finally some cuteness! I really don't know what has gotten into me-I have been so motivated to write! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, subscribed, or just read so far. I appreciate it. I can't promise that updates will be this quick all of the time, but they will happen! :)