Celestia's Little Warriors
When All Hell Breaks Loose
Celestia had everything she needed to kill Spitfire. If only she knew where Spitfire lived now. Then Celestia remembered Spitfire saying she needed her wings cut off and a horn. So Spitfire must be in Unicornia pretending to be a Unicorn.
Celestia started out heading to Unicornia; on her way there she heard hoofsteps and franticly looked around. She saw 4 shadows approaching quickly and shot up into the sky above. It turns out that it was just a border patrol.
Celestia noticed Spitfire in the patrol and thought that if she dropped one of her knives on Spitfire it would kill her. Celestia aimed so the knife would stab the back of Spitfire's neck. And then she dropped the knife but instead of getting Spitfire's neck it got a different pony in the patrol's butt.
It turns out that Celestia hit Fancy Pants' butt and it only left a long scratch. Even though it hit his butt the scratch bled a lot. All the ponies looked up and started to use magic to attack Celestia. She jumped to the ground and took out her chainsaw.
Her chainsaw wouldn't start so Celestia just hit the patrol with it until it finally started while slicing through Shining Armor's tail. Celestia reared up on her hind legs and held the chainsaw in both hooves while spinning around in circles with the deadly weapon killing anything within 5 feet.
When Celestia finished swinging the chainsaw everypony was severely injured but Spitfire. Celestia pointed at Spitfire and whispered "I will be back" And with that Celestia ran off to plan for the next time they meet. Celestia almost got lost on her way back home but found it after 5 hours.
Back at Celestia's home she wrote down a to do list-
Eat dinner
Buy better costume
Buy better weapons
Make a well-though-out plan to kill Spitfire
Kill Spitfire
After Celestia made this wonderful list she decided to go shopping at Princess Luna's garden for vegetables to make dinner. At the shop Celestia bought lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, blueberries and watermelon. The total amount of bits was 51.
When Celestia went home to make dinner she was thinking if she should go to the weaponry store first or the costume shop first. After Celestia chopped up the veggies for the salad and washed the fruit for the fruit salad she sat down at the table and messily ate dinner at the table.
After Celestia cleaned up from her healthy meal she went to the costume shop. "Hi there Cadence, do you have any realistic, bloody, used military outfits here?" "Of course we do Celestia, right in the back." "Thanks Cadence"
Celestia walked to the back of the store and found all the bloody, used, realistic costumes. Celestia quickly found the military one and tried it on. Since it fit she took it off and walked up to the cashier. "How much bits will this be?" "15" Celestia tossed the bits at Cadence and walked out.
Next Celestia went to the weaponry shop and walked in to see Spike at the register. Celestia looked around and saw pistols, cocaine, alcohol, and machine guns. Celestia took a machine gun off the rack and handled it. It wasn't heavy or brightly colored so Celestia took it to the register.
"I would like to buy this." "Anything else?" "Umm, this bag of cocaine too." Celestia grabbed a bag of coke and placed it next to the machine gun. "35 bits please." Celestia gave Spike the bits and walked home with the costume, coke, and machine gun.
Back at Celestia's house she put away her new illegal items in her illegal room. Celestia walked out after hanging up the costume and putting away the other stuff. She locked the door and went to her bedroom to fall asleep.