Chapter 8

Deeks heard the beeping as he woke up, his head was throbbing and his side was pulling and burning.

He groaned as he tried to sit up.

"Rest, your safe now." Kensi's voice cut through the pain.

"Kenz?" Deeks couldn't figure out what was going on….then it hit him. "Ellie? MAX!" he tried again to sit up his eyes opening and his vision swimming.

"Deeks?" Kensi wrapped her arm around his torso and helped him to sit as he started to vomit, passing him a bowl and calling for a nurse she moved away as the medical staff came in to check him out.

Flipping her phone she sent a quick text and watched as the staff sedated Deeks who was trying to get out of the bed.

As the sedative took effect Deeks looked at Kensi, "I'm sorry," he said as oblivion overtook him.

Kensi walked outside the room and looked to where Callen sat on a chair watching the door but not coming any closer.

"Callen, are you coming in?" she asked sidling up to him.

Callen shook his head, "Nope,"

Kensi looked at him, "Why? He's waking up soon and he's gonna be hurting, if you sit with him I can go and let Jordan and Ellie know he's here." She reasoned.

"Can't do that." Callen said looking grim.

"Why not!" Kensi exclaimed, "He's a part of the team, we should be here for him."

"You be there for him, its best if he doesn't see the others." Callen advised.

"Callen, what's going on?" she asked.

"Deeks is under arrest." He stated.

"WHAT!" Kensi sat on the chair next to him, "Oh God, what did he do? Did he kill Fitzgerald?" she asked.

Callen shook his head, "Beat him pretty bad though. Sam's getting him checked out and then taking him to the boatshed."

"Good." Kensi said.

"Good?"

"I'd beat him too if he got near me." Kensi snapped, "Doing that to that lovely little girl."

"How is she?" Callen asked grateful for the chance to change the subject.

"She should be ok; I think Jordan said she was going home in a few days." Kensi said, "I offered to drive them home." She told him.

Callen resisted the urge to roll his eyes and come out with a prayer for the passengers. "Listen, I'm gonna go in and see Deeks." He got up and walked to the door. "You need to stay here." He said.

"He's my partner." Kensi snapped.

"Right now he's a suspect; if he's awake I need to talk to him."

"Not until I have pronounced him fit to be interviewed," A doctor said walking up behind him.

"You are?" Callen asked stepping in front of the door,

"I'm Dr. Simmons, Mr. Deeks' doctor, he's just got out of surgery and I won't have you pushing him. Now if you'll excuse me I need to check on Mr. Deeks." He said and moved to get past Callen.

"I'm coming with you." Callen said and entered the room.

Deeks was leaning against the headboard staring out of the window, he didn't move as Callen and the doctor came in.

"Mr. Deeks, I'm Dr. Simmons I was the surgeon who stitched up your wound. May I see it?"

Deeks didn't move.

Dr. Simmons shot Callen a look and moved towards his patient. "Please, I need to check for infection." He lifted Deeks' shirt and looked over the bullet wound. "Um…it seems to be healing nicely; I would estimate that you should be able to leave here today, then a week before you go back to work."

Deeks gave a derisive snort and stared out of the window.

"Does it hurt?" He asked concerned.

"Does it matter?" Deeks replied.

"Deeks, just answer the doctor." Callen prompted.

Deeks sighed, "No doctor is doesn't hurt, so can I go and get arrested now?" he said sarcastically.

The doctor looked at him confused.

"We done?" Deeks asked.

"Yes you are ready to be released I'll go get your papers." He said and quickly left.

"Deeks what's with you man?" Callen asked.

"Look, Callen I don't care man, I know your gonna arrest me for what I did to Fitzgerald and to be quite honest I don't care, he hurt my little girl he's lucky you stopped me before I killed him."

"What about Ellie?" Callen asked.

"She has her mom, she doesn't need me, she probably doesn't want to see me anyway." He pulled off the scrub shirt and pulled his own blood stained sweatshirt over the top.

"You haven't even seen her." Callen countered.

"Yes I did and do you know what I saw. My little girl, my flesh and blood; lying in a hospital bed because, some scumbag of an NCIS agent wanted money more than he though she deserved her life." Deeks spat, "So go ahead arrest me cos I swear to God if he gets within three feet of me I will kill him."

Callen moved towards him as he started to hyperventilate. "Deeks, maybe she'll want to see you." He said offering some hope.

"Yeah, maybe she can get visiting hours in prison, Max said I'd always end up in jail." He said dryly, "He was the last of my family."

"You still have Ellie." Callen countered.

"YOU DON'T GET IT!" Deeks shouted sitting upright, "She's always going to be better off without me, I nearly killed a man, not because of the job but because he hurt her, my instinct was not to bring him in, but to kill him. I'm so much like my father it's stupid; I'd be poison to her."

"Daddy?" Ellie said as she stuck her head in the door, "I won't be better off without you, I need you."

Deeks stopped rooted to the spot and looked at his daughter, she stood there swaying gently one hand holding the portable IV pole that was still attached to her pumping fluids into her body.

"Why are you here, baby girl?" Deeks said gently.

"Kensi said you were hurt and you needed me, Can….Can I hug you?" she asked tentatively.

Deeks looked at Callen who gave him a nod and he opened his arms as she ran into them. "Daddy, my daddy." She sobbed.

Deeks held her tight and breathed in her scent, she was a part of him, she wasn't like his father, and she was sweet and kind.

"I'm sorry baby." Deeks said his voice raspy with emotion. "I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, mom told me, you didn't know about me." She turned around and grabbed a box from Jordan's hands. "I wrote these for you so you could get to know me." She said and handed the box to him. "You can read them if you want." She said tentatively.

"I'd love to." Deeks gave a small smile.

Ellie held him again, "I have to go back to my room, they'd only let me out for a while, can you come and see me again, please daddy?" she asked.

Deeks smiled, "I have to go with Callen and sort something out, but if I can I'll come back and see you."He promised, not noticing the small tear that escaped. He smiled sadly at her and mouthed 'thank you' to Jordan, she nodded and left.

Callen looked at Deeks as he sat back on the bed stroking the box he'd been given like it was solid gold.

"I have to take you to the boatshed for questioning, you know that."He said kinder than he'd been earlier.

Deeks nodded, "Thanks Callen, It's ok, you have your job to do, it doesn't matter anymore." He said quietly as Callen stepped outside to get Deeks' discharge papers.

Deeks pulled himself round and slowly opened the box there were years of pictures and letters all in separate envelopes with dates on them. He opened the one with the earliest date on.

Ellie's handwriting was still shaky, as a young hand is when it learns to write, "Dear Daddy, Mommy said that one day we will see you and I can write you letters. I am Ellie Mae, I am six years old, my teacher is Mrs. Miller. She is very nice. I want a dog but mommy says no. I love you daddy. Love Ellie."

There was a picture of three stick people with the words Mommy, Daddy and me; underneath it.

Deeks heard the door go and thrust the letter back in the box.

"You ready?" Callen asked.

Deeks nodded, he didn't care what happened now, he knew that in avenging his little girl he had done more for her than his father had ever done for him and that he had done the right thing. And hell if he had to go to prison he would have plenty to read.