Jun: Hey everyone!
Warning: slash, semi language
Pairings: eventual Starscream/Harry
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Ulti.
This story is one of Kayzi (formerly Silver Melody217)challenges:
Harry was tired of Britain, specifically the nosy Wizarding World. Wanting to live in peace after the War, Harry decided to move out to America. Month's later, bored with the lack of thrill in his life, he decided to sign up in the Air Force.
-Afterwards, he got assigned to the disguised Starscream
Riiiing. Riiiing. Riiiing
"Hello, Epps speaking."
"Hey Epps, it's Harry. You're still at the base right?"
"Yep sure am. Why did you lose something already? Heh, newbie."
"Oh shut up already. Was the Hellraiser in the hanger when you checked?"
"Um, of course it was why wouldn't it have?"
"... Check again..."
" Uh, sure but I don't see the point of this is. Yep here it is. Hm, looks a bit dirtier than I remember, but just sitting here. Why, did you think it would get up and walk away or something?"
"..."
Ten Minutes earlier:
Harry stepped out of the bathroom after a relaxing shower with nothing but a pair of blue baggy pants on and a towel slung across his shoulders.
Harry sighed. He couldn't wait to just go to bed and sleep. Is that really to much to ask.
"Creator Creator!"
Apparently it was.
Harry turned to Ulti. "What is it Ulti?"
The little robot was bouncing up and down in excitement. He grabbed Harry's hand in a vise like grip and tugged Harry along like the impatient child he was. "You have to see this Creator! Come on! Come on!"
Ulti dragged Harry up onto the deck they had on the roof.
"See Creator looky looky! A jet plane! It's that creators jet?" Ulti said excitedly making it all sound like one sentence. He pointed at the area near their back yard.
Harry looked in the direction Ulti was pointing and paused. There, somehow, was his F-22 Hellraiser. Hovering behind some trees looking like it was trying to hide undercover while, apparently, attempting to spy on Harry. Which didn't really work considering the said tree's were only 10 feet tall.
Almost like the jet knew it was spotted, the Hellraiser quickly turned and flew off.
Harry stared after the Hellraiser with a dumbfounded expression while Ulti was bouncing up and down.
The pilot knew he felt like he was being watch for the past few days, but this is ridiculous!
"See Creator! That was Creator's jet wasn't it! Sooooooo cool! How's it flying on its own? Did Creator make it do that? Creator's so cool!"
Harry slowly came out of his stupor. He patter Ulti on his helm. "Calm down Ulti. I didn't make the Hellraiser fly, and I'm starting to think I really don't want to know."
"Oh okay. Creator's still awesome though." Ulti said holding his arms up to Harry wanting to be carried.
Harry smiled softly. "Whatever you say Ult." He said taking the small robot in his arms. "Let's go inside. There's a phone call I gotta make."
Present:
"Aw how cute, the newbie's already missing his jet. That's so precious."
"Epps I am this close to hanging up the phone."
"Aw come on Harry. I'm just teasen. It's not every day we find a pilot so attached to his jet he'd call in."
*click*
"...Hello? Harry? Helloooo. Well damn, he actually hung up."
"Come on people! Put your backs into it!" Epps yelled at the troops crowding the hanger.
Harry ran up to Epps. "Hey Epps. What's going on?" The young pilot asked.
Epps grinned evilly at Harry. "Well you see Harry, every now and then we here at C.A.C decide to actually take responsibility for the well being of our machinery. So today we're washing them. ALL of them."
Harry became paler and paler at every word. "You don't mean-"
"Yep!" Epps pushed an empty bucket, soap, a mop like sponge, and a hose in Harry's arms. Epps gave Harry a two fingered salute with a "Good luck."
Harry gave him the one fingered salute.
The young pilot trudged to the Hellraiser to start washing it like the other pilots. "Are the people here fucking crazy? They probably are. Wouldn't surprise me. Stupid pricks. Making me mutter to myself."
Starscream watched the human that was his pilot approach him warily. There was no way in the Pits that this human, this SQUISHY THING, thought that he could spray Starscream with this H2O liqui-iiiiid! The decepticon nearly jumped out of his armor when he suddenly got splashed by something cold. That little squishy dare-! Oh- oooooooooh. That felt good.
Harry continued to grumble to himself as he scrubbed soap on the Hellraiser's side.
"Hey cheer up over there newbie! We can feel your angst from all the way over here!" One of the other pilots called over with a cheery smile. The cheer didn't do anything but irritate Harry. He wanted to revel in his angst. Not be happy go lucky.
Harry glared daggers at the pilot who addressed him making the other pilot hide behind his jet in fear. When Harry decided the other pilot finally got the message he went back to washing Hellraiser. Was the jet vibrating or was it just him? And was it getting warmer? Oh well, it felt kind of nice. Merlin he hoped he wasn't developing some kind of Mechaphilia.
"So this is the new recruit you got Epps." A new voice said. Harry turned around to see Epps next to a man with short dark blond hair. "Little small isn't he?"
Harry felt a vain pop in his head. He quickly turned back around and continued his work, trying to ignore the men behind him.
"Aw, Harry don't be so mean. This whack job here is Captain William Lennox. Come over here and say hi!" Epps called.
"Me! A whack job? You should really start looking in a mirror." The man Lennox said.
To say that Harry was getting irritated was an understatement. First he gets woken up at Merlin knows how early because Ulti was having another fight with the microwave. ( "But Creator it was mocking me! I'm telling you that thing is evil!") Then he had to practically go through hell trying to get to the base because for some reason traffic lights kept shutting off and malfunctioning making him late and even more ticked. You'd be surprised at just how many little old grannies would just love to curse you out.
He was going to ignore Epps and Lennox when an idea came to mind. They wanted to bother him, fine. But they were going to have to pay the price for it. They were going to pay dearly. He put a big fake smile on him and made his way toward Epps. Lennox felt a strong sense of foreboding at the way Harry was looking at Epps.
"Okay. So you want me to come over and say hi." Harry said standing in front of Epps who was oblivious as to what was coming. Harry's fake smile widened before he swiftly kicked Sergeant Robert Epps in the groin.
Epps let out a strangled whine before collapsing on the floor groaning in pain. He held his injured family jewels while trying to cling onto what remaining pride he had. Everyone dropped what they were doing and stared at the scene.
Starscream snickered mentally. He had grown curious when his human had stopped scrubbing his armor (and getting all the little spots Starscream never even knew could be reached) and saw/recorded the entire scene. Starscream felt a little bit of pride swell up in his spark when he saw the human his human kicked whimper in pain.
Harry stepped away from Epps with a satisfied look in his eyes.
"Well it was a pleasure meeting you Captain Lennox." He said nodding to Lennox before going to Hellraiser.
Lennox let out a long whistle. "Man down gentlemen. Damn. That kid got balls."
Epps groaned from his place on the floor. "Just help me to the infirmary, Lennox." The threat would have been threatening if Epps's voice hadn't been 2 octaves higher.
Lennox shook his head and looped one of Epps's arms over his shoulders. "Yeah yeah. What ever you say Epps."
Epps grunted. "Leave it."
And Starscream happily went back to ignoring everything except the feel of his armor being scrubbed.
Harry walked up to Epps with a smile on his face. "Hey Epps! How ya doing. It's such a nice day out today isn't it?"
Epps felt very unnerved by Harry's display of straight forward cheeriness. He resisted the urge to flee when he felt Harry patting him on the back. "Oh-er- Doing great I guess. And it's dark and cloudy outside, how is it nice?"
Harry hummed in agreement obviously not listening to Epps. "Yes, yes, that's good, that's good. Well I have to get going. Duties to do and such. See you later Epps!" And he ran off waving. Epps stood there in utter confusion. 'What just happened. Is it the full moon or something?'
From his hiding place beside the door to the rec room, Harry laughed evilly at the sound of the other soldiers ambushing Epps and Epps screaming like a little girl.
Five minutes later the door creaked open and Epps slowly crawled out a few inches before collapsing. A paper with the words 'Kick Me' in red Sharpie taped on his back. Harry was expecting only a few laughs here and there and maybe a few people actually kicking Epps but this was way better. Harry stuffed his hands in his pocket and walked away unaware of what he had just started.
Thunder clashed in the sky making it bright, rain pounded on Harry's home like hail, wind howled angrily making the rain sound even louder.
Ulti sat huddled in the middle of his bed rocking back and forth, clutching a pillow to his chest. He yelp when another loud boom sounded, holding the pillow even tighter. He kept his optic shut tight.
/I'm a big boy. I'm a big bot. I can handle this. I can handle thi-/ BOOM! / AAAAHHHH! I can't handle this! I can't handle this! Creator! Waaaah!/
"Ulti?" Harry softly called not sure if his child was awake or not.
"Creator!" Ulti cried running at Harry as fast as his little legs could go pillow still in hand. He hugged his Creator's leg like it was a life line.
Crouching down Harry held Ulti close while rubbing soothing circles on his back. "I knew you might not have been able to sleep with the storm going on so I checked in."
Ulti snuggled against Harry's chest. /Creator was worried about me./
The pilot lifted the trembling robot on his hip and carried him to his room.
Together they slept through the storm with Ulti curled in his creators arms.
Harry felt warm and comfortable when he woke up. He tried to snuggle deeper into whatever it was he was sleeping on to go back to sleep.
Something didn't feel right. He wasn't in his bed at the base. He wasn't even in a bed. It felt like a chair. A familiar one at that. His eyes snapped open.
Why was he in the Hellraiser? Again. Fifth time this month!
For some reason every time, every time, he stayed the night at the base he woke up in the cockpit of his jet. How does this happen!
When this first started happening Harry suspected maybe one of the other soldiers at the base were somehow doing this as a prank. Harry interrogated about everyone that stayed at the base about it. When all he got were 'Are you crazy' looks, he quickly dropped it.
Harry hopped out of the Hellraiser and stretched. 'Hope it's not to late. Those other pigs can eat the refrigerator clean quicker than I can say good morning.'
Starscream watched his human go thinking about how many more times he had to steal the human at night before he finally got the hint.
Epps attacked Harry from behind and put him in one of his famous "Epps unbearable head lock."
"Hey Harry how ya doin! It's such a happy day isn't it with all the sun and such!" Epps exclaimed excitedly giving Harry a noogie and patting him on the back. Harry struggled in his hold. "What the hell Epps! Let go of me! And it's raining outside!"
With out warning Epps let go of Harry making Harry almost fall to the ground. "Great! Well I gotta go, see ya later Harry!" Epps gave Harry one more pat on the back before walking off. Harry stared after Epps. "What was that all about?"
Harry tried to think it was just Epps being Epps but something told him otherwise. Then he walked into the rec room. Everything was fine at first until he heard snickering. He turned around to see what was so funny only to see nothing there. Harry shrugged and went back to watching the television.
And that was what it was like through the day. Laughing behind his back and soldier coming at him out of nowhere and hitting on him. What the hell was that about!? Thankfully no one actually kissed Harry. It seemed to have finally sunk in that if any one were to actually try and get a real kiss from Harry they'd find themselves in the infirmary. And was it just him or were the security cameras following him?
He even got laughed at on his way home. What was going on! Opening the door to his condo, Harry gratefully kicked his shoes off. "Okay Ulti we're home." A small ship came from his cellphone as he took it out of his pocket and let Ulti change back into his robot form. Again, when Harry past Ulti he immediately heard the high pitched giggling.
Harry gave Ulti a questioning look. Ulti giggled more and motioned for Harry to come closer. When Harry was kneeling face to face with Ulti, the robot grabbed Harry's head and kissed Harry on the cheek. Now Harry looked even more confused. Ulti giggled more. "I gave creator a kiss! That's that the paper thingy on creator said to do."
The wizard blinked. Paper thingy? Harry looked at himself. Nope nothing. Did someone put a sign on his-wait. Harry scrambled to feel around his back. Yep there is was. He yanked the piece of paper off and read it.
'Kiss me I'm English. Love Epps.' and a troll face next to it with a top hat, monocle, and mustache.
Harry burned the sign in his hands.
Harry woke up to the sound of a big boom coming from his kitchen, Ulti yelping, and a microwave beeping until it came to a broken silence. Harry mentally sighed. '3.2.1.'
Riiiiing.
Riiiing.
Riii-
"Hello?" Harry said into the land line phone next to his bed already knowing that it was going to be his neighbor. "Yes, hello ...Yes I'm sorry about the noise, it seems my microwave broke down on me again...Yes I do have terrible luck... I'm very happy to hear your opinion ...Yes I'll make sure it doesn't happen again. Goodbye." *click*
Harry put the phone back and fell on his bed. "I really need to start using Silencing charms. Ulti!" He call.
"...Yes?" Ulti's hesitant reply came from the kitchen.
"How badly broken is the microwave? Between fixable and destroyed."
"Um..."
Harry took a deep breath. "Is it recognizable."
"..No?..."
Harry slowly rolled out of bed dressed in a pair of grey sweat pants and white tank top. He made his way into the kitchen to see a black mess of metal where his microwave used to be and Ulti hiding behind the counter with his missile launchers out. Seeing his creator, Ulti quickly deactivated his launchers. Harry casted a quick reparo on the destroyed metal with a sigh.
He found that technology wasn't affected by his magic unless he really concentrated his magic on it like he unconsciously did when he "made" Ulti, to which Harry was thankful for. He loved Ulti to death, he really did. But he didn't need a dozen robots popping up and calling him creator every time he tried to fix something with magic.
"Why did you blow up the microwave? And haven't I told you not to use the missile launchers in the house?" Harry scowled.
Ulti sat down on the counter facing Harry looking dejected. "Creator looked tired yesterday so I wanted to make Creator breakfast. But Microwave was beeping at me again so I panicked. I'm sorry Creator." He apologized sadly.
Harry tried to stay mad but the look on Ulti's face made him crumble with a sigh. "Alright Ulti, how about we make breakfast together? Pancakes don't involve a microwave."
Ulti forgot his sadness and jumped up and down in excitement as Harry got out the pancake mix. Harry poured the mix into the bowl with water and let Ulti stir. And of course, Ulti being Ulti, mix the batter to hard and got them both covered in pancake batter. Harry decided to wait until they were done baking to clean them up. Salvaging enough to make a few small pancakes, Harry baked them while Ulti sat next to him cheering the pancakes on.
Harry sighed to finally eating his breakfast in peace while Ulti watched TV.
Harry marched into the rec room with a giant scowl on his face but to most people he just looked more like a peeved cat. A very, very peeved cat. He grabbed the nearest soldier by the collar. "Where. Is. Epps."
The terrified soldier pointed to the rec room. Harry dropped the soldier and marched in the direction he pointed. Harry found Epps asleep snoring in one of the chairs with his feet propped up on a table. Harry glares at the sleeping man. He walked around all day with that stupid 'Kiss me I'm English' sign on his back. No one messed around with a marauder and got away with it.
Judging by the way Epps was snoring and drooling he wasn't going to wake anytime soon. Harry pulled out the marker he had stashed in his back pocket and scribbled all over Epps's face. Complete with drawn on glasses, uni-brow, black nose, mustache with goatee, and the words "K.O. ME" written in big,bold letters on his forehead.
Harry admired his work, nodding in acceptance, and hid eagerly to observe the outcome. Unfortunately, Lennox walked in.
At seeing Epps, Lennox rolled his eyes and kicked his feet off the table making Epps jerk awake. "Hey, wake up you lazy..." Lennox's words died in his mouth when he took in the state of his friends face. "Oh hey Will. What is it?" Epps asked half asleep.
Lennox searched around frantically for something to cover Epps face with. If a 'Kick Me' sign could cause riot, he didn't want to see what a 'K.O. Me' sign could do. "Nothing! Nothing at all. I'll show you later."
Lennox spotted a shopping bag with bread with it. It wasn't much but it'll have to do. Lennox ran over, dumped the bread, and stuck the bag over Epps's head. "Will! Hey! What the hell!" Epps yelled. "You'll thank me for this later. " Lennox said guiding the man to the nearest bathroom.
Harry clicked his tongue and stuffed his hand in his pockets. Why did Lennox have to ruin the fun?
Harry sulked even more when Epps stepped out of the bathroom with a clean face. Then Harry felt a Cheshire cat smile creep onto his face. He didn't want to do this unless it was a last resort. This seems like a nice time. Harry silently casted a wandless spell on Epps that he, Fred, and George had invented themselves during fifth year.
Epps instantly got a sour look on his face.
"Hey Epps what is it?" Lennox asked.
"No clue man. But for some reason there's a sour taste in my mouth."
"Huh?"
Epps expression changed from eating something sour to disgust. "Oh my god now it tastes gross!"
"Did you hit your head or something?"
Then Epps's expression of disgust turned to pleased confusion. "Now it tastes like...apples?"
Lennox stared at Epps. "Okay we're taking you to the infirmary." Lennox said taking hold of Epps wrist and dragging him to the infirmary.
Harry bit the inside of his cheek to keep from snickering. The spell he used was designed so that for an entire day,Epps would be tasting different types of Berty Bots Beans for the entire day. Not the best for getting back at him but he couldn't turn Epps skin blue now could he? That would raise a few questions to many. With the beans people would just think he's pulling their leg. Harry couldn't wait 'til Epps reached 'under side of muggle car'.
Harry cradled his drink as he watched Epps, Lennox and the other soldiers and pilots try and stay coherent.
It was Harry's third month with them and the longest anyone has lasted with the Hellraiser. So they dragged Harry out of his condo and took him clubbing. Guess who got wasted.
Epps slung an arm around Harry's shoulders and practically put all of his weight on the smaller man.
"Man this is so much fun Harry! I'vent seen any of-us this drunk since those sector seven bastards." Epps yelled, his words drunkenly slurred together.
Harry raised an eyebrow. "Sector 7?"
Epps took a big gulp of his beer with a happy sigh. "Yep! Some weird bas'ards that ssay they's from the government. Some secret convent or something. They're like these Men in Black. Hunt aliens or stuff like that." Epps waved his hands around for emphases almost spilling his drink on Harry, "But they aren't cool. They're allll..."
Epps trailed of falling asleep on Harry. Harry nudged Epps hard in the stomach.
Epps jerked awake with a snort. "All stuck up and snotty. What a joke. Aliens, hah! They probably just study rocks and take money from the gov. We stay as faaaar away from them as we can. The only time we even thought of-asken them for anything was for the damn Hellraiser. But then we remembered how they walked around like they owned the whole world."
Harry was about to ask more about this "Sector 7" when he was approached by a group of women. "Well hello there cutey. Looks like you're looken for a good time. How about we come and join you?"
Starscream grumbled as he watched his human walk to the hanger at the C.A.C base Starscream was still at.
The little human looked tired and worn out but mildly happy. He wondered what he was doing here. Oh yeah, his human had left without his bag last time he was there. Such a forgetful human. Starscream drew the line the minute the human starts to forget about him though.
His human made it to the hanger and come up to him. The human patted Starscream's side and sat down next to his wheel and leaned on him. "Man that was some night." The human said to himself. Starscream did a scan on his human and found traces of alcohol. Had his human been drinking? Starscream couldn't allow this. The Internet said it was bad for human health.
The human took out his cellular device and looked through it. "Why did all those girls give me all their numbers? I tried to tell them I was gay but they just got even more persistent. I'm so ready for bed. I'll be right back Ulti." The human said setting his phone and jacket down and headed toward the lockers.
Starscream internally fumed. Oh no his human didn't! He had done his research on the Internet and from what he had heard, it sounded like his human had been on an outing with these female and they have given him their communication number as an invitation to have sexual intercourse with him. Starscream had to fix this and soon.
Starscream tried to hack into his humans cellphone to delete the numbers but was met with an advanced fire wall like his own? What?
"Hey hey hey!" a squeaky voice chirped from the phone. The cellphone transformed into a young mini-con. More developed then a sparkling but not enough to be an adult.
The mini-con crossed his arms. "What do you think you're doing! That's very rude you know." The mini-con stopped his chastising to stare at Starscream in a wonder-like eagerness. "Are you Creators husband?"
Starscream's faceplate would have dropped if he were in his other form. Starscream comm'ed the others and he picked up.
/W-what in the pits are you talking about?! Creator? What are you talking about? I haven't seen another Cybertronian here. And who are you?/ Starscream couldn't be to hard on this young one. His seeker instincts wouldn't let him. Damn them. They made him want to keep the young one for himself.
The mini-con started jumping up and down in excitement. /My name's Ulti! And Creator is Harry! Creator's so great. And I thought that's what I should call you. Aren't human parents supposed to be a couple that take care of you? And Creator's the one that made me and acts like a 'mother hen'. So wouldn't that make you the father? You're his partner./
The seeker thought about what Ulti said. Harry was the designation of his human. He didn't know what to think about this. There was no way that a human was able to create a cybertronian. He knew his human was special in some way, but this?
And that part about being a couple with him. Starscream wouldn't say they were a couple. That would be a one-sided thing considering Harry didn't know he was alive. The human was his though. His partner,his pilot,his human. Harry was the only pilot he's liked and he didn't want anyone else.
Perhaps that's why he felt so mad when other humans came up to his human. Especially during that time Harry had that 'Kiss me I'm English' sign on his back. Starscream had to watch him through the security cameras to make sure no one went to far.
Maybe if they actually take over this planet he could keep Harry. He still had doubts because not only was Megatron taking forever, and the fact the Autobots will probably get in the way, Starscream didn't think they really had to take control of the planet. Personally he just wanted the Allspark so their race can continue.
/Um... Slag it, I guess you could say that./ Starscream told Ulti. Ulti went back to jumping up and down before stopping and pinning him with a glare. /You better be taking care of Creator./
Starscream huffed over the comm. /Yes yes./
Ulti did a 180 and went back to smiling. /Okay! Ooooh Creators back!/ Ulti quickly changed back to his cellphone form as Harry came back in with his bag taking Ulti and his jacket back and left unaware of their conversation.
Elsewhere:
Somewhere in the Sector 7 base the body of Megatron sat frozen in stasis. Or what looked like it. Optics slowly flickered a menacing red a few times before disappearing again.
Jun: I hope you guys liked this!