Sookie sat at the vanity brushing through her hair for the hundredth time when she it was a little after seven o'clock and Eric wasn't there yet, she couldn't help but feel like a teenager watching the clock and fretting over whether or not her date would show up. The truth was Sookie was a teenager the last time she was on a date the only difference was she had never been on a date with Eric Northman, even in high school he she had never heard anyone say a mean word toward him he was the captain of every sport he played and on the chess team.

They never really spoke much back then because she was taken by one of the most possessive people she would ever meet but Eric always said hello when he saw her and even offered to ride her home one time when she was left walking in the rain. She knew better than to except because somehow she would have to pay for it latter but she was always flattered by the offer anyway, the memory of his smile and kindness was part of what brought her home after running for so long.

There was something about Eric that felt warm and safe even when he asked her to dance she was fully expecting her skin to crawl from being so close to someone from the opposite sex but when he took her hand she just wanted to be closer to him. When Eric pulled her close she didn't feel the need to run in the opposite direction like she had so many times before, Sookie had tried dating several times in the past hoping each time that she was ready and she could be with someone without fear running through her when they touched.

Nothing had come close to what she felt when she danced close to Eric his presence alone seemed to make her forget that she had ever left home, a smile stretched across her face as she remembered the way his eyes sparkled when he looked at her it had been years since a man had looked at her that way or at least since she paid attention. A knock at the back door broke of her thoughts and her heart started to race, it was him he was here this was really happening Sookie ran the brush through her hair and checked herself in the mirror before heading to answer the door.

Eric stood waiting on the back porch after knocking several times already and was beginning to think Sookie had changed her mind about having dinner with him, he was turning ready to walk off down the stairs when she pulled the door open, "wow you look great" he said smiling as he handed her a bouquet of daisy's. Sookie blushed and invited him inside while she put the flowers in water and grabbed her sweater it had been a long time since anyone had given her flowers and she found it amazing that he remembered that daisies were her favorite.

When they stepped out of the house Sookie found it odd that she didn't see Eric's car in the driveway instead she saw a bright orange tractor parked a few feet from the porch, almost everyone who had land around their home owned one it was the kind that made it easy to drive over thick shrubs and mud. She was baffled what kind of evening did he have planned and did he really think his old tractor was the best means of transportation, Sookie had never been afraid of a little dirt but when she looked down at the expensive dress and the white shoes she had bought for their date she hoped this was a joke.

Eric smiled he could tell what she was thinking as she looked down at her shoes and he hoped she was still the fun loving adventurous girl she had been in high school, he waited for a sign that she wasn't going to storm back into the house without giving him a second thought and when she kicked her shoes off he knew he had her. In one swift motion he swooped her up in his arms and lifted her onto the tractor, his original plan was to take her to a restaurant to wine and dine her but when he thought of the crowded room and all the chances for interruption he decided on a more private evening for the two of them.

They drove further toward the woods at the back of the house stopping at the tree line before he looked back at her "you ready" he said sliding the tractor into the next gear, Sookie felt nervous not because she feared the woods or Eric but because she was enjoying herself and normally when things were starting to feel this good something had to go wrong. Eric smiled at her hoping to calm the tension he could feel in her arms as she wrapped them around his waist, her heart was racing against his back and she had a worried look on her face so before she could answer he drove deeper into the woods behind her house.

Eric pulled the tractor into a clearing deep in the middle of the woods it was there that he had set up a beautiful picnic for the two of them, Sookie was amazed that he found such a place and as she looked around she saw all of her favorite foods spread along a blanket it was the type of thing you only saw in the movies and it was all for her. She tried to hold back her tears but Eric could see them falling from her eyes as he helped her down off of the tractor, "I hope you like it I did a little research for before I planned it " he said pointing to the monogrammed containers.

Sookie knew those containers well they were the ones she had bought Tara and Andy as a wedding present a few years ago "it's beautiful" she said wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chest, Sookie was shocked that she felt comfortable enough to show him affection but with Eric she couldn't seem to help herself. The hug lingered longer than expected and even when she pulled herself free from his arms and sat beside him on the blue blanket she could feel the warmth of his body on hers, Sookie couldn't keep her heart from racing and when he leaned toward her to hand her a plate of food his closeness only made things worse.

They made it through a bottle of wine and most of their meal without her thinking about the man she was running from or her insecurities, Eric was a break from the nightmare she had been living for years now and she found herself wishing she could stay there in the woods with him forever. The conversation bounced from topic to topic never landing on anything to serious they talked about old times and what the future might hold, things were going great until Eric mentioned wanting to have children and Sookie felt her heart skip a beat.

The thought of having children disappeared a long time ago for her even if she could forgive herself for all of the abortions and miscarriages she had over the years, Sookie was sure she would be punished for them if she ever actually tried to get pregnant. Suddenly the woods around her didn't seem so serine to her the trees that seemed to be a beautiful part of nature were now dozens of hiding places for him to be waiting to pounce, She the same mistake she always did in thinking she could just be normal and go on with her life but like always he had a hold on her.

Eric could see the tension growing in her body and realized that this was one of the things Tara had warned him about, she hadn't told him details about why Sookie was running from her life but she told him enough for him to understand she was afraid. Still part of him wanted to push her and find out what exactly happened to make her have to run but the other part warned him that if he did it could cost him his chance he has to be with her, "so I you and Bill are close" he asked hoping the light conversation would help her calm down and when she looked at him he saw the fear fade in her eyes.

"Bill and I have always been close he has always been easy to talk to and we grew up next door to each other so he was always around," Eric laughed as he pictured Bill following her around like a sad little puppy dog wanting her and hoping she would notice him. Sookie stared at him confused she didn't think anything she said had been funny but the sound of his laughter was comforting "what's so funny?" she asked giving him a quirky smile, Eric wasn't sure how to say it but he knew with Sookie strait forward was always best " you know Bill wants you" he said looking at the ground.

"What you're crazy he does not" she tried to sound confident as she said it but failed miserable she knew Bill had always liked her and if he hadn't been friends with her boyfriend in high school he might have tried something, Eric busted out laughing all over again this time rolling around on the ground for effect. "You really don't know how easy it is to be drawn to you do you" he sat up quickly leaning in close and looking into her eyes, "Sookie you are so beautiful and you have no clue how is that possible?"

Sookie didn't know what to say there were many men in her life that told her how beautiful she was but most of them were trying to lower her walls so they could get into her pants, it was hard not to look into his eyes as he spoke and she could see the kindness and truth in what he said he really thought she was beautiful. Suddenly Sookie felt extremely self-conscious all she could think about was whether or not her breath smelled bad and when he kissed her she could feel the tension of her life melt from her shoulders, his kiss was deep and passionate this was their first kiss and it was like nothing she had ever experienced before.

She could feel the heat generating between her legs and it felt like heaven the last man who had been inside of her was her husband and he was everything but gentle, years had passed and every time she came close to allowing anyone inside of her the memories would come flooding back and this time was no different. Sookie pictured his hands all over her body and him kissing her gentle as he entered her and suddenly the man she pictured wasn't Eric, she could feel the fear pounding inside of her and she pushed against Eric's chest desperate for air.

Eric was in heaven he had waited so long to kiss her and now they were pressed against each other locked in a passionate kiss at a romantic picnic in the woods, he hoped this meant she felt the same about him as he did her but when her lips tensed against his and her hands flew up pushing him away he knew something was wrong. He pulled back giving her the space she seemed to need and he saw the tears that poured down her face "Sookie I'm sorry are you ok I shouldn't have I'm so sorry," Eric pleaded with her to stop crying he apologized over and over promising to fix whatever he had done to make her sad.

"I'm, it's me, no I'm sorry, I, can you take me home" Sookie wanted to tell him why she was freaking out and explain that it was not his fault that she was crying like a child, she had no clue how to talk to him without telling him about her past and she was not ready to deal with that mess. Eric gathered the rest of the picnic and helped Sookie back on to the tractor the tension between them was heavy and he couldn't believe how bad things had gone with just one kiss, they drove through the woods slowly he was hoping by the time they reached the house she would be ready to talk to him but he couldn't have been more wrong.

They stopped a few feet from the porch and he intended to help her inside and unload the rest of the picnic but as soon as he put the tractor in park Sookie jumped to the ground and ran inside without looking back, Eric felt confused this was the second time she had cut him short and ran away. He drove down the driveway and out to the road passing the same black truck he had passed earlier on the way in and he wondered who would have left their car parked in such a strange place but his mind drifted back to Sookie and how he could fix what ever had broken between them.

Sookie ran inside the house and slammed the door behind her she hated that she ruined their first kiss with thought of him and she hated even more that Eric thought he was the problem, she walked into the bedroom throwing her dress to the floor before jumping into the shower and letting the hot water wash away her misery but she couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching them in the woods. Sookie was half way through washing her hair when it hit her she was never one to leave her doors unlocked especially since she left him and went on the run, she stepped from the shower and reached into her bag where she found her keys right where she put them before the picnic.

Sookie's heart fell to her feet how could she have been so careless she went through the house checking each window and door twice before jumping back in the shower, she had let her past ruin creep up on her again making her unsure if coming back to Bon Temps was the right thing.

Dear Diary

I ruined my date with Eric and now I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy, he told me I was beautiful and he admitted that he wanted me and he kissed me he freaking kissed me and it was perfect but all I could do was freak out and start crying like a fool. I know I can never let go of the past because my loving husband won't let go of me, he keeps his grip on my mind taunting and teasing me whenever I start to feel like I could possibly be normal, I should have known this would never work out it will only be a matter of time before I scare Eric away and he disappears just like the others.

It was three in the morning when Sookie jumped from her sleep breathing heavy and searching the room, she could feel it someone was in her house she was sure of it she crept through the house turning on every light as she went from room to room. The house was empty and yet again she was left feeling silly for thinking the boogeyman was coming to get her, Sookie was just about to climb back into bed when the phone rang she jumped before reaching for it but she knew who it was by the ringtone.

"Tara" was all she managed before she was cut off "Sookie he's in town!"