Dean takes him inside and dries him off, Sam brings him new clothes which Castiel assumes are Dean's. Neither of them speaks but they keep giving each other these strange looks and Castiel knows something isn't right. Something's always wrong with the Winchesters.

"They seem nice," Castiel says tugging at the too long sleeves that hung over his fingertips.

"What?" Sam asks. Castiel looks over to where the brothers were now staring at him, Dean looks suspicious and Sam looks concerned. Castiel remembers that the people around him don't hear the voice like he does and now that he's with something he'll have to stop communicating out loud.

"I said you seem nice." Sam and Dean exchange a perplexed look but go back to what they were doing.

Well, that was close.

I know these two. Castiel thinks to himself. And sits on the threadbare couch. I've spent all this time trying to find them.

Yes, the little puppy trying to find his way home.

That…that isn't very nice. Castiel tells him, surprised at the voice's sudden turn.

"So, um…" Sam trails off and stand up, his chair scrapping loudly against the old floor. "Cas-"

"That's me," Castiel nods and smiles. Sam's smile drops, he almost looks saddened at Castiel's words which perplexes the angel, this was supposed to be a happy reunion.

"Right," Sam coughs. "We think it's great you're back."

"I am happy to be here," Castiel smiles softly.

"It's just…" Sam looks over his shoulder at his brother. "We're wondering how you got here?"

"I walked," he answers and then after a moment of thought added. "Though, I flew mostly."

"He mean, how are you still alive?" Dean clarifies with a small eye roll. "We thought were got barbequed."

"Oh." Castiel picks at a loose string on his sleeve. He didn't like thinking about what happened in that old building, what he'd done to his brother, it still sent a surging hot pain through his veins.

Both Sam and Dean are silent for a long stretch, waiting for Castiel to say something else, before the older brother presses him. "Well?"

"I don't remember much," Castiel's eyes stay focused on that tiny string that refused to come loose. "I was surrounded by fire, then I wasn't, then everything became bright and then I woke up on the side of a road."

"Surrounded by fire? You mean like a ring of fire, as in some one angel-trapped you?" Dean stood up and walks up to the couch. "How'd you get out of that?"

"I don't remember!" Castiel suddenly snaps. Dean gives him a startled look and Sam's eyebrows disappear under his bangs. Castiel quickly reverts back into himself, bringing his knees up his chest and eyes dropping to the floor. "It…hurts to remember."

Dean's mouth opens, clearly not happy with that answer but Sam jumps in to stop him. "It's okay, Cas. Maybe you just need some time to settle in, I bet you've have a pretty rough time."

Castiel nods slowly. "Thank you, Sam."

"But-" Dean tries again.

"Dean, can I talk to you outside?" Sam grabs Dean's shoulder and pushes him towards the door, leaving Castiel alone with his thoughts.

"They seem like a strange duo."

Years of co-dependency will do that to you.

The next few days pass in relative silence, save for all the hushed conversations Dean and Sam have whenever they think Castiel can't hear them. Castiel continues his tendency to just fall down and sleep whenever the need strikes him, he doesn't even try to keep to the Winchester's schedule of four hours nightly. Now that he's found the brother his mind isn't trying to urgently push and pull him, his dreams are much more pleasant and filled of peaceful times with his brother. Neither Dean nor Sam ask about the events that lead Castiel to disappear, something the angel is immensely grateful for. He dreads telling them that he tried to kill his own brother, sure that to the Winchesters that must be the worst crime imaginable.

It's a quite Tuesday afternoon when Sam grudgingly agrees to head over to the covenant a few towns over to dig for more information on the ghost they're hunting. The older Winchester stays behind to keep an eye on the girl they think will be the next victim and Sam promises to be back in a day or two. Dean lays out everything they already have on the table and taped to the wall. He explains it all to Castiel who nods even though he doesn't hear a word of it.

That's very sad, to be trapped on earth like that.

Better than the alternative.

Do you think Dean has ever tried reasoning with a ghost?

You can't reason with a ghost. It's hard enough to reason with a living one.

You don't seem to like them very much.

I don't like anybody.

Castiel silently shakes his head and when Dean sees it he back tracks and goes with a different theory about whose really haunting the museum. I've spent so much time looking for these two, I had thought there would be more…revelations.

What you don't find Dean's critique of pies to be invigorating?

I still don't remember much.

Maybe you just don't want to remember.

That's ridiculous, Castiel frowns. Why would I purposefully try to forget my entire past?

I have no idea. Of course, I am not the one staring blankly at a woman's severed torso.

Castiel snaps out of his thoughts and is confronted with a black and white photo inches from his face. Dean is holding it and giving him a stern look, "so what do you think?"

"Oh," Castiel's eyes scan the greyscale gore and suppress a shudder. "I believe you are on the right track."

"Knew that blonde was sketchy, she definitely has a few skeletons in her closet." Dean nods to himself and turns his back to the angel so he can examine even more bloody photos. "Sam must just be blinded by the size of her rack."

I never realized what a good poet Dean was.

Why can't you be nicer to him?

To the hairless ape? It's not as if he's done anything for me lately.

He's very kind.

The voice goes silent, as if he finds Castiel's words ridiculous. That's one way of putting it.

Dean and Sam have taken me in even in my current…condition.

Taken you in? Castiel, this is a one star motel that probably has a rat problem. You're just useful to them.

You just don't understand. Castiel shakes his head and risks a glance at Dean who is still explaining something about the case. Dean and Sam are just…

Castiel can't really find the words to describe it; it wasn't as if being around the Winchesters made him ecstatically happy necessarily. It was just the plain contentment he felt around them, before them he wandered around lost and confused, uneasy and afraid of the wide world around him. It seems like life would be perfect as long as he stayed with them.

As touching as that is, the voice interrupts his thoughts, I doubt they care much. After all they believe you to be a semi-emotionless angel.

I'm their friend.

Do they know that?

"Of course!" Castiel snaps.

"I know!" Dean eagerly agrees, looking back at Castiel over his shoulder. "I mean the answer has been staring us in the face the whole time. Of course the ghost wasn't that chick from the brothel."

Just absorbed in his own little world. The voice sighs.

If we were not friends I would not be here right now.

If you say so.

I wasn't complete until I found this place.

The voice makes a small noise, Castiel isn't sure if it's one of disgust or revelation. It sounds as if your feelings are a more than just friendly.

It's complicated. Castiel admits.

You should tell him all this.

What? No, no, Dean doesn't have a very high opinion of angels. I doubt he'd be able to overlook that part of me.

Most people would consider personally knowing an angle to be an honour.

Not Dean. If you knew what they've been through already, to them an angel is an angel. Besides I'm not exactly a prime example of the heavenly host. Even if he wasn't so opposed to angels, he wouldn't look twice at me, I'm-

He's cut off before he can go into another speech about how awful he is. For the love of- just do it Castiel!

"I've been searching for you," Castiel blurts out.

"Uh," Dean turns away from the wall of photos and looks at the angel. "You okay, Cas?"

"I was lost until I remembered you, I…" The voice in his head is laughing and it makes Castiel pause. "I had no idea who I was, what I was, but I remembered you. I remembered trying to find you in that- in that place."

Dean stiffens and his voice drops as if he's worried the entire motel might hear him. "You mean hell?"

Castiel nods. "Yes."

"Look," Dean begins and pushes on Castiel's shoulders until he sits down on the couch. "Me and Sam, we had no idea where you were. We thought you were dead, you should have seen the wreckage, half the block was just ash. I would have looked for you if I had thought there was any chance you were still alive."

"I know." Castiel can see the guilt swimming in Dean's eyes, it pinches at Castiel's heart, at the same time it warms him knowing that Dean cared enough to mourn his death. He knows not many would.

Oh, the voice chuckles.

What?

I just hadn't thought your reasons for finding Dean were so…base.

I found him because-

You want him, the voice interrupts, it's adorable really.

Castiel doesn't deny it but he also knows it's meaningless. It's irrelevant.

Is it?

I'm not sure. I knew before, there was a reason I never… Castiel can't quite describe it, it's just a feeling that tells him that even if Dean want him there is something else he wants more. I just can't.

And you think if you stare at him long enough he'll finally notice you? The voice scoffs. If you want something you need to take it.

He doesn't want me. Castiel shakes his head that Dean doesn't seem to notice. I'm…I'm not right, not anymore.

Castiel's whole body starts to tingle, the way it does when the thing inside him takes over. He struggles against it, stop, Castiel begs knowing exactly what he's planning. He loses the battle and feels his body shift on the couch. He reaches for Dean, laying his hand on Dean's should and leans in. Dean looks confused, asks Castiel if everything is alright but instead of answers he gets the angel's lips pressed against his. Castiel can tell Dean's surprised, he's stalk still against Castiel and after a long tense moment he pulls away. Castiel body goes after him, reaching out to yank him back but Dean's hands on his chest stop him.

"What are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Castiel screams inside. The voice that comes out of his mouth isn't his voice and even the way his body moves, so smooth and confident, is completely wrong. Dean hardly seems to notice with the way Castiel's hands drag down his arms.

"Stop that," Dean knocks his hands away. "Look, you just come back from uh, wherever. You're tired and clearly confused."

"I know exactly what I'm doing," he grins before he pounces again.

Stop! What are you doing!

Don't worry so much, little brother. I won't steel your precious hunter; I'm just warming him up for you.

"Dean," he says softly with Castiel's voice. "You just do not listen, do you? Do you really think this just the heat of the moment? Have you really never seen the way I look at you?"

Dean's tongue darts out to nervously lick his lip.

"And I see the way you look at me too," his hand grips Dean's knee, the hunter's eyes snap over and freeze on where they touch. "You've given your life up to save the world again and again. You deserve this, you deserve to be selfish for once.

Stop this. Castiel hisses.

I'm not saying anything you wouldn't, little brother.

Castiel's hand slowly traces Dean's thigh with feather light touches, Castiel dreadfully thinks that Dean is seconds away from cracking and throwing him out in a rightful rage. Dean grabs Castiel's wrist and shakes his head but he doesn't meet Castiel eyes. "Don't do it for yourself then, do it for me."

"Cas," Dean says with weak conviction.

Castiel's body twists onto its knees, inside Castiel watches with batted breath that the voice may be right and Dean might secretly want this too. With his front plastered against Dean's side that smug entity weaves Castiel's fingers in Dean's short hair and puts his lips to the hunter's ear. "I went to hell for you. I died for you once, I was willing to do it again. From the moment I woke up on that road I've been searching for you; not because I had nowhere else to go but because there was no place else I'd rather be."

When Dean's lips collide with his it's both eye-opening and jarring, though part of him feels a weight lifted from his shoulder another part tells him that Dean isn't actually kissing him. Struggling against his own hands; hands that pull Dean close, hands that slip under the hunter's shirt, hands that leave tiny red marks across his back.

Why are you fighting this? The voice mumbles softly, sounding genuinely confused. This is what you wanted.

Yes, but you're the one doing all this!

If I waited for you to make a move, Dean would be on his death bed.

Castiel's back hits the edge of the couch with a thud and Dean is quick to cover the angel's body with his own. He pulls away from their kiss only long enough to suck in a breath and peel his shirt off.

"I'll stop, if you want. Just, just say something and I'll- we don't have to do this," Dean babbles as his fingers yanks each of Castiel's buttons open. Castiel is taken back by the uncertainty in his voice, when has Dean Winchester ever had second thoughts about sex?

Because he cares.

A tiny laugh bubbles out from Castiel's chest and his hands slips in between them to unbuckle his belt. "Do you really think you have to worry about taking advantage of an angel? I could obliterate you with a snap of my fingers."

Dean raises an eyebrow at the angel's words, it seems off to him and Castiel wants to scream that he's right but instead he watches his arms wrap around Dean's shoulder and pull him back down.

Enough, Castiel says firmly, if you continue this I will never speak to you again.

The angel and the hunter are both down to their underwear, if Castiel still had any doubts about Dean's desire they are chased away with the hard press of him against his thigh. Castiel's arms fall limply to his side, Dean hardly notices as he tries to get as close to the angel as possible on the tiny, threadbare couch. Castiel still has no control over his body but at least that voice has stopped for now. There is a long, tense moment where he gets no answer but then a frustrated growl rings through his mind.

Fine.

Castiel is thrown back into control so fast that he gasps out at the sudden shock. He feels Dean's lips stretch into a smile against his skin, mistaking the sound for something pleasurable. The feel of Dean's skin against his, the hot press of lips and the tantalizing way his fingers dance across the angel's hips, it hits him all at once. The sensation was nowhere near such intensity when he was simply floating around his mind.

"Dean," Castiel gasps out still dazed from the sudden intensity. The hunter only takes it as encouragement to keep going but Castiel gently pushes at his shoulders until Dean pulls away.

"What is it?" Dean pants. Castiel stares at the hunter and searches for any sign of doubt or hesitation. The voice in his head might have been right that his is what Castiel wanted but it wasn't the way to wanted it to happen. It was hardly Castiel that Dean was seduced by and he didn't want just meaningless sex, at the very least Dean needed to know that.

"Dean, I," Castiel swallows nervously. His hands glide up Dean's shoulders and cup around his face. "I love you."

Dean leans back, resting on his heels he looks down at the angel with a look that Castiel can't place. Just when Castiel thinks that Dean is going to turn around and reject him, he just slowly nods and takes Castiel's hand. "Come on."

Dean tugs Castiel to his feet, both of them still nearly naked, and pulls him over to the beds. Castiel opens his mouth to say more but Dean quiets him with a press of his lips. Dean rids himself of his pants and Castiel mimics him before the hunter pushes him back onto the bed. Dean leans across the bed and rifles around in his duffle bag, returning with one of his hands already covered in slick. He fits himself between Castiel's legs and pauses momentarily to stroke the angel's thigh before he slips a finger inside. Castiel shivers at the electric new feeling but Dean holds still inside him, waiting for Castiel reaction before he continues, and Castiel impatiently juts his hips forward and forces Dean's finger in deeper.

The hunter chuckles at Castiel's eagerness and covers his body with his own, a sweet burn follows as his finger begins stroking Castiel's insides. The angels moans but Dean captures his lips and silences him. A few moments later, Dean added another finger and something seemed to switch on inside Castiel. He grabs Dean's face and pulls him down again, kissing his mouth open and pushing his tongue against the hunter's. It isn't the soft, chaste kisses he had used before and Dean responded eagerly, placing a hand on the back of Castiel neck and gently tugging at his hair. Castiel pushes one his legs over Dean's hip and wiggles down on his fingers, wanting more, more, more.

"I'm ready," Castiel mummers against Dean's lips.

"Not yet," Dean grunts.

"Dean," Castiel literally whines, "Please."

Dean's lips twist in a slight grimace but he complies, withdraws his fingers and after a moment that seemed to stretch on for eternity, lines himself up with Castiel's entrance. The feeling is strange at first and not anything like he had expected but then Dean grabs his hips, lifting him up slightly and pushes in again. Castiel arches beneath Dean when the hunter nudges against his prostate. He cries out a jumble of words and whatever he says makes a smug grin break out across Dean's face.

With each movement of his hips Dean loses a little more of the self-control that had made his actions towards Castiel slow and easy. It didn't take long for him to devolve into fast, bruising movements as Castiel moans and begs beneath him. Castiel's fingers dig into Dean's shoulders, who hisses at the roughness and Castiel forces himself to let go when all he wants to do is hold on. Instead he lets his hands wander over the hunter's tanned skin and relish in the sounds he's able to drag out of Dean.

Castiel's fingers brush raised skin on Dean's arm and it sends an electric jolt through him, he yanks away but the hunter above him is too caught up in the angel to notice. Hesitantly he touches it again, it feels familiar and something stirs in the recesses of his mind. The longer his holds onto Dean's arm the stronger the force inside him grows. While the hunter is lost in physical pleasure, Castiel's mind begins to knit itself back together. He shudders against the sudden explosion of information, the entire history of the world, all of earth's components down to the tiny proteins and even smaller atoms, every angel in heaven is burned into him mind.

Dean wraps his fingers around Castiel and slowly strokes him but the angel hardly feels it, too lost in his own mind. He only manages to be wrenched out of his memory when a shudder passes through his body and he spills thick white ropes across his and Dean's stomachs. Dean lets out a strangled moan as his release follows close behind the angel's.

The hunter collapses on Castiel, both out of breath but for two very different reasons. Dean's hands still roam over Castiel's skin, seeking more contact but Castiel just lays limp on the bed, mind still reeling. Dean pushes himself up onto his elbows and looks at Castiel. "You okay?"

Castiel nods and Dean gives him a lopsided smile before he rolls onto his back and stretches out his tight muscles. He must take Castiel's awed expression as proof of a job well done and doesn't question him any further, instead he just draws the covers over them and lays back down.

There seems to be an entire universe between Dean and Castiel, what was actually inches stretched into eons with Castiel's new memories. There were still holes, tiny bits he hadn't found yet, but he remembers heaven and being sent into the pit. He remembers rebelling and falling so he could fight for Earth.

Next to him Dean silently drifted off to sleep, unaware of the millenniums darting through Castiel's mind. He watches all the years pass, over and over, it's both awe-inspiring and terrifying.

When he finally manages to close his eyes, he for once knows exactly where he's going.

Bird tweet, a warm breeze blows and Castiel is back in the same garden where his very first dream was. Lying amongst the lush green grass, Castiel isn't surprised to see a familiar face looming over him.

"That wasn't so bad was it?" He smiles down at Castiel.

Castiel ignores him turns onto his side.

"Oh, don't be like that," he sighs. "I only did what you wanted."

Castiel feels a hand run up his arm. "I did not ask you to do that."

"You enjoyed it regardless."

Castiel twists back onto his back, the amused look on his lips makes the angel grimace. He hesitates before speaking. "I know who you are."

"Do you now?" He reaches up and runs his knuckles gently over Castiel's cheek.

"Yes, I remember now. You're…" Castiel trails off as the other man leans down, barely managing to finish his sentence before their lips touch. "You're Lucifer."

"Castiel!" Castiel snaps out of his sleep as Dean violently shake him. "You were talking in your sleep."

"Was I?"

"Yeah," Dean pauses and searches Castiel's face for something, he can feel the uncertainty ooze off Dean. "You were talking about Lucifer."

"Oh," is all Castiel says. He turns over so his back faces Dean, away from the hunter's scrutiny, and pulls the covers above his shoulder.

"What happened?"

"It was just a dream," Castiel whispers. Dean yanks him onto his back and Castiel doesn't try to pull away.

"Before you disappeared." Dean clarifies. The grip on his arm tightens and he can see Dean's jaw clench in an effort to keep calm. "What happened?"

"I told you-"

"And I don't believe you."

So untrusting. That voice, Lucifer's voice, suddenly pipes up. Castiel flinches at the sound,

Dean just keep staring at him, eyes dark and stony, Castiel thinks he'll just ignore Sam and keep trying to drag answers out of him. On the last ring Dean finally pulls away and picks up, "What?"

Castiel sags in relief against the over worn bed. He can hear the voice, Lucifer, laughter ring through his head.