Chapter Summary: Bella's kiss with a friend is not at all what she pictured it and she feels as if she is never going to be the girl that he wants her to be, but that doesn't keep her best friend from trying to please her anyway. Meanwhile, a pack member is holding back and keeping a secret from the rest of his brothers, desperate to figure out why him and more importantly, why her.

Chapter II Title: 'A New Momentum,' by Chevelle

"I told you to call, Bella."

Standing on First Beach, I turned my head away from Jacob. I wasn't too keen on hearing him say that I had been wrong and that I had refused to listen to him, again. He turned into a giant seven-foot wolf, and I am the one that is in trouble? Unbelievable.

"Knock it off, Jacob. I am not in the mood." I sighed and plopped onto another log, anxious to get away from him and his piercing stare. He was starting to make me nervous. Jacob had already proven that he was observant and that was before he turned into a werewolf.

"Are you in the mood to attend your own funeral because that is exactly what is going to happen to you, Bells. What the hell were you thinking, coming here? Not to mention what the hell was wrong with you when you decided to put yourself in danger by pissing off Paul—"

"He wasn't going to hurt me," I declared, shocking myself and Jacob.

"What?"

"I said that he wasn't going to hurt me. He didn't even change into a wolf until you came bounding over me like you did."

"I had to!" Jacob screamed, shifting my attention toward him again. "He would have phased had I given him the chance. He's like the resident hothead and whore of the La Push reservation. He's done worse for much less of a cause and that was before his pre-phasing days. Bella, I had to protect you. I need to protect you."

"Protect me from what? Paul?"

"Anyone who gets in the way," Jacob swore. "I'll get anyone who tries to hurt you, Bella. And that's a promise."

"Paul is your pack mate. He wasn't going to do anything."

"Did you see that look in his eyes?"

I glanced at Jacob, suddenly nervous. Had Jacob seen the look in Paul's eyes too? "What look?" I asked nervously.

Jacob seemed satisfied at my apprehension and pressed on. "Paul has this way with women. He makes them all aglow and fuzzy with just one look. Makes them think they are safe, warm and loved, but in the end, he just leaves them. He's always been like that, and he's not going to change."

"So…so, he makes women feel safe and secure with one look? How do you know?"

"Because it's Paul!" Jacob barked. "He's a liar, saying whatever he needs to say to get you in bed with him. He's touched and fucked so many girls that the state of Washington should open up their own CDC, just to treat all the girls he's infected."

"Infected with what?"

"God, I don't know, Bella!" he shouted. "I stay out of his head. It's gross. You do the same; keep out of his sights."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "Give me a break, Jacob. I think you are being a little unfair."

"Am I?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes, you are." I stated. "Paul wasn't going to do anything. I know it."

"How do you now that, Bella?"

"I just do. And I don't need protection, and I don't need you telling me what to do either. You're not Charlie."

"I'm your best friend."

"You're also a werewolf. That was one hell of a secret to keep from me when I am supposed to be your best friend."

"I couldn't tell you anything! Sam forbade it."

"Do you always listen to Sam?"

"When he slaps me with a gag order, yeah, I do."

"So what else can you not tell me?" I asked as quietly as I could, but I was growing red in the face from my anger.

Jacob noticed. He took a step back and turned his head slightly, shaking it. "I'm sorry, Bells. You're right. I should have been there. I was—I mean I still am your best friend. And I'm really sorry I kept you out for so long, but you've gotta understand that you kept me out too. You never shared with me that the cold ones existed. I thought they were just dumb old stories that the elders used to tell to scare kids."

I chuckled, no longer feeling as annoyed as I once did. "Well, they would have scared normal kids, at any rate."

"Not you, though," Jacob said, looking hopeful.

"No, not me," I reaffirmed.

Jacob moved closer, and before I could stop him, his soft lips were on mine, and our heads were moving with each other's in unison. He pushed his face further into the kiss and lightly touched my sides. Jacob offered his tongue, and I poked at it a little and dug my toes into my shoes. My feet sunk further into the sand. I could feel him smiling as our kiss grew longer and the sun moved further overhead, pushing the weather to be ten degrees higher than what was normal for this time of year in Forks. Humph, Forks? I thought as I dug my nails into Jacob's neck. I could get use to Forks even if Edward was never coming back.

Never coming back?

I sobbed into Jacob's kiss, but it sounded more like I was exhaling heavily into his mouth. Jacob pulled back a little and saw me starting to cry. He gently fingered my tears and pushed my hair back with the same hand. My neck started to hurt from looking up at him, but I couldn't stop Jacob now. If I didn't have his warm arms around me now, I would have be done for. I really would have to admit that Edward was indeed gone, and that I was kissing my best friend on the beach. I was kissing my best friend on the beach, yes; I was enjoying it, yes, but Jacob was not Edward. Jacob wasn't even the person I wanted. Who do you want, Bella? What do you really want? I silently asked.

"I am in love with you, Bella."

Christ, I didn't want that. I groaned, unable to speak.

PPOV

Not too far...

Sam removed my gag order soon after the 'lovebirds' left, and as soon as I was able, I jogged into the forest. I kicked a rock a few hundred feet before it powwed!, burying its way into the trunk of a long-since-dead tree. Dead heart, dead tree. That's me. No roots to speak of, and no home to belong to. I was just like that tree. I was just as homeless and dead as that tree. "Great, now I'm feeling sorry for myself, too." Everyone on the reservation hated me. I knew that. I didn't care. All the girls that I slept with-they didn't matter. They use to love me. I gave myself an evil grin. "Yeah, they did love me. Bet I could make them fall back in love with me too," I said excitedly. Girls, women, whatever were easy. No one had ever liked me for being me. I snorted. Who cares. What did I care about them anyway? No one liked me. In fact, the only reason the elders liked me at all was because I could change into a wolf. No other reason.

I gave a wheezed laugh, but it sounded hollow. Not my usual, cocky bray that I often let out when I had a secret that no one else around me knew. A secret? Yeah, a secret. Just like the one you're keeping from your brothers now.

I picked up another rock and started to grind it in my hand, turning it easily to powder. "So much power. So much…what a waste that it has to be caged here in La Push," I grumbled loudly.

Werewolves, as protectors, couldn't leave. They had to stay and make do with what they could in Forks. Of course they could travel to Port Angeles or other cities, like Seattle, but that was it. That's all she wrote. And whomever my mate would be, they would have to stay and accept that too. "That'll be a fun conversation to have with her." Her. Oh my God, who was she? Who was Swan? Who was she really? Did she know? Did she see in my eyes how I really felt?

"Nah," I told myself. "She couldn't even see that those parasites were bad news, vegetarians or not. She doesn't know anything, and I don't have to tell her shit."

"It might be better if you were the one to tell her before one of your brothers stumble onto your secret and blab it themselves," a voice interrupted my solitude.

I turned my neck. I was so engrossed in my own selfish thoughts that I hadn't heard Sam approach. The daydreaming of past and future conquests had me confused. I had become annoyed by my present situation in La Push, and my feelings for…leech lover? Eck!

"No one goes in my mind. They think it's too disgusting," I boasted. "They can't stand all the great things I've done with these hands to all those women's bodies."

"I agree that it is disgusting in there," Sam said, "But that's not what concerns me. You have to tell Bella."

I backed away from my Alpha. "Tell her what?"

"That she's your imprint."

I bit back a laugh. "What makes you so sure that she is? And how do you know anyway?" I challenged.

"I've seen the look before," Sam admitted. "You need to tell her before the pack finds out and does it for you. You also need to tell Jacob."

Now I did laugh, mocking even the forest that covered us. "I don't think so. Did you see what the little prince did to me when he thought that I was going to attack her back at his house? I wasn't going to do anything. I had already backed down. Now I'm supposed to tell him that because I want her, he's never going to have the girl he's madly in love with? No way. La Push will be a big fuckin' crater under the weight of his wrath. He'll swear revenge. You really want to be responsible for that?"

"It's not my call. Our ancestors saw fit to place you two together."

"Together? No, I don't think so." I argued. "She's a vampire's girl."

"She was, yes." Sam agreed.

"I shouldn't want her in that way."

"That's not your choice either."

"She doesn't even like me you know. She's wanted to slap me twice since we've met, three hours and six minutes ago."

"Since when did you start counting minutes?" Sam asked jokingly.

My face paled. Oh my God.

"And besides," Sam said, smiling, "Don't most women want to hit you at some point during the evening anyway?"

"That's usually after I tell them to put their clothes back on and get out."

Sam shook his head. "You need to tell her."

"The imprint is wrong."

"You won't find that out until you try it."

"You're a bullshit leader, Alpha."

Sam grinned, knowing that I didn't mean it. "And you're fighting against the most natural thing in the world."

BPOV

I felt Jacob's lips on mine again, but I was not eager to resume where we had left off.

Jacob's tongue continued to dance over my mouth, but my body had seized up on me. My back went straight and my movements became choppy almost like a badly rehearsed play.

"Bella, just let your body feel what it needs to feel," Jacob instructed.

Listen to him, the kissing expert. I shook my head, not willing to move any further with him. "I can't. I'm sorry, Jake, but I can't."

"Is this because I told you that I love you?" He sounded hurt. I wouldn't even look into his face.

"Jake, no, that's not why," I insisted. "I love you too."

"Then what is it?" Jacob demanded.

"I just don't love you in that way. I…I never have." I hated to admit it, but Jacob at least deserved that part of the truth.

"That's because that parasite was always around. I know you love me as more, Bells. You have to. We spend so much time together. I know you. I really do know you."

"Jake, this has nothing to do with Edward." Okay, maybe that was a lie. "You're just—"

"See, you even said his name out loud," Jacob insisted. "That proves you're getting better, and it's because of me."

"Of course it's because of you. It's just that after everything, Jake, you're still just my best friend. My best friend that I love and respect because of how much you helped me. A best friend that I am lucky to have. One that I hope to continue to have even after today, the day that I let him kiss me without punching him," I added, only half-joking.

Jacob laughed a little and cradled my face. "You really would hurt your hand if you hit me, Bella. Paul wasn't lying about that."

"Oh." My interest piqued a little despite the minor annoyance I felt in myself for paying closer attention at all. "So, Paul doesn't lie about everything."

"Alright, most things. When it suits him and makes him look better, he won't lie. Okay? Happy now?"

"Not really." Paul was the other imaginary force in my head, pulling at my strands and keeping me from being truly honest with Jacob. There was something about him. Something more than just his eyes. "Any other things I should know about your brothers, besides not to piss them off?" I teased.

"Nope. That's it." Jacob pulled me closer into a half-hug, and I kissed his cheek, feeling a bit more affectionate toward him now that we had shared our first (and last) kiss. He would make his future wife proud one day; he was a great kisser. Jacob turned more into me. " Bella, since you know about me and my...situation, will you still let me come by and see you? Can the best friend drive you home?"

"The Best Friend can do both." I squeezed him tighter.

A few days later…

I sat down at my desk in bedroom, feeling exhausted that I was out of bed so early in the morning but I was still full of so much energy. There was so much to tell Alice. The Alice that was no longer there, my thoughts cried out. I sighed, starting to feel depressed again, but not because of the loss of Edward, but more as a loss of the family I once had. Alice was still my sister and I missed her terribly. The truth was that I still wrote to Alice's no-longer-working email from time to time. The email went on more like a long rambling letter that had no ending, but I kept writing anyway. Alice's former email server always sent the same unopened email back to me seconds after I would hit the 'Send' button, but I still wrote it. It was therapeutic. Maybe it was my way of convincing myself that Edward, Alice, and all of the Cullens were once real for me. They once lived in a place called Forks, WA and that they changed my life.

I glanced out my window. It was dusk. I would only have a short time to write the correspondence. It would take maybe fifteen minutes to boot up my computer and to finish typing the email before I would have to start getting dress for school. At least I was going on my senior trip today, so I wouldn't need to do that much preparing. No books. No bag. Just myself. Just Bella and her thoughts.

I exhaled again and started to click and clank at the keyboard in front of me.

Alice,

It's Bella. I hope you are doing well. It's still a struggle not to have you around. It still hurts not to have Edward around too. I know; I know you're shocked that I can actually write his name now when before I would be reduced to nothing but tears every time I even thought his name inside my own mind, but it's different now. I'm different now. In the past couple of months without you, I've learned so much about myself and what kind of relationship I had with your brother. For the sake of all arguments, he is your brother, you are still my sister, and he is still the love of my life. But there is room for other things now and I am welcoming the chance to get reacquainted with the 'new' things that are in my life.

Charlie. Charlie is fine. He is still that same stubborn man he was when you left.

I struggled not to wipe my tears that flooded my eyes at the computer screen.

I worry about him still, but that is a part of his job as chief. What's not to worry about, I ask?

I sniffled, still intent on writing the letter.

He's still looking for bears. You know the bear attacks that have been happening close to Forks lately? I told you about them in our last email. I have not seen any others of your kind around. I must admit that I originally thought that it was you or others like you that were being mistaken for bears, but now I know better. I even know who one of them is.

I swallowed a bit before plunging into my furious typing once more.

Oh Alice, it's Jacob. Jacob is one of them. He's not a bear, but that's what they are being mistaken for. There are wolves. Real werewolves in Forks. Can you believe it? I could scarcely believe it myself until I saw one of them change before me. Jacob is in a pack now. There are others like him, but they are not the ones hurting people. I knew Jacob would never hurt anyone, but to hear that they are not the ones responsible for all the dying hitchhikers is still a relief. Jacob has told me that it is the work of a vampire. He used a horrible word; he calls your kind 'leeches,' and I've asked him to stop, but he just looks at me. He even thinks that it is you, the Cullens, but I told him that it couldn't be. The Cullens would never hurt anyone, I said. They couldn't.

I looked hesitantly over my shoulder, now seeing the sunlight slowly creep in through my semi-closed shades.

It might be Victoria.

I shuddered.

I told Jacob about Victoria and he has said not to worry. Now that I know that Jake and I are still friends, I don't doubt that he'll keep me safe. His whole pack will.

My cheeks started to feel a smile that I had been trying to hide, but could not any longer.

His pack, his brothers are interesting. They take their responsibility as werewolves so seriously, but yet when they are human, they act so much like kids. It's refreshing, and at the same time astonishing to see them. The way they joke and laugh, you would never think that so much rests on their shoulders. It is so much weight for them to bear. I do not know how Jacob does it. Or how he will continue to do it. Jacob is amazing though; he can do anything. He even stood up for me against his pack mate, Paul—

I cut my sentence off and started to backspace the entire thing, but I couldn't. I watched the blinking cursor a full space after Paul's name, written handsomely on the computer screen in small font and was mesmerized by it. Paul, Paul, Paul, I mused. What was in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, the great Shakespeare wrote on behalf of Juliet in Romeo and Juliet. Paul. Paul was his name. What was the meaning of Paul's name? Why am I bothered by it? Why am I questioning it? I shook my head. Bella, why are you comparing Paul to a rose? I asked myself. Paul is not sweet and he is certainly no rose. The closest he would ever be to a rose is to serve as its thorn. A thorn in my side, I thought maliciously.

Suddenly a shooting sting went through my chest, serving almost as a warning alert moments before my alarm for school went off. I groaned. I had spent exactly fifteen minutes writing my email to Alice and now it would have to go unfinished until I could get back home from school. Oh just send as it is, Bella. I doubt Alice will mind, I resolved. "You got it," I said out loud. I reached over and slapped the snooze button down on the clock before plopping back into my small rocking chair to finish typing.

I concluded my email, deleting out Paul's name and put a 'period' after pack mate. I typed my name at the bottom and wrote "To be continued…" at the end before hitting the 'send' button. I blinked once and the mailer-daemon had already sent back the unanswered email to my inbox. As I shut down my computer, I began to think again about Paul. After the short afternoon I had had with Jacob and his brothers, I knew the least about him. Do you really want to know anything more about him, Bella? Hadn't Jacob said enough? I bit my lip. "If Jacob had said enough, I wouldn't want to know more about him."

My alarm's buzzing noise went off again and I flew into a rush to gather my clothes and the few things that I would be taking on the senior trip. If I didn't hurry, I was going to be late. After pulling up my jeans, hurrying down the stairs, and saluting Charlie on the way out, I drove to school.

The Forks High School senior trip was to the annual Cross-County Boat Show they held every year somewhere in the state of Washington; this year, they picked the small township of Forks. The high school had saved money to sponsor the event but were outbid by a private company. As a constellation prize, the winning sponsor decided to give free tickets and grand tours to the high school for the rest of the year; thus, allowing Forks high school students to see the boat show. Why the school made this the senior event of the year when it's so early in February, I had no idea. I supposed they were grasping at straws anywhere they could to save money.

I knew one thing for certain: I hated boats. And I knew another thing; I was never going to want to own one. Flashy things were Edward's thing, not mine. All I had wanted to do at the time was spend time with Edward, and though our relationship had seemed a little unorthodox to others, it had meant the world to me.

I just wished that I could have been given a sign of Edward's departure. Something before he left. Maybe now I would not be subjected to this senior trip with my head waving over a railing and about to be sick. It even hurt my ego a little bit when I realized that the boat that I was in was not moving.

I was sure that my face resembled my least-favorite color in the whole world; green.

I bounced off Angela and Ben, who were on either of my sides, shadowing me as I looked ready to hurl over the edge of a jet boat, anxiously trying to hold onto the fries that I had for lunch. A hand patted me on the back roughly, and I turned, ready to throw up in the person's face. All I did was gurgle some saliva and force it back down my throat. Mike Newton would have not looked good in the color yellowish emerald.

"You alright, Bella?" Mike asked, while continuing to hit me on the back. I jolted from his hand, trying to keep the dizziness from completely taking over my sight.

"Fine, Mike. Just fine."

I turned back toward the announcer, a short impish man with large black glasses and suspenders. He was continuing to speak into the small microphone, as if the rest of the class was paying attention instead of trying to impress their neighbor by repeating, "Someday, I'm going to own this boat" or "that boat." Saying it 100 times does not make this speedboat any more yours than mines, Tyler.

I was cranky.

Charlie was spending too much time on the job, looking for the "bears" that didn't exist and making me worry. And to top it all off, Jacob was gone again. He was always out patrolling, and he never seemed to have as much time for me as before. I had asked if he was avoiding me because I wouldn't profess the same love that he had for me, but Jacob had only laughed and replied "no" before leaping out of my window. I hated when he did that. Werewolf or not, super-healing powers or not, I still worried about my sixteen-year old best friend, who was in love with me.

"The Aurora 20' Sport Merc SportJet 175 is a beautiful boat!" our guide continued to blare through the mike. "The classic, tough, extruded aluminum construction is built to last and works great in our environment. The 175 SportJet works very well in this hull providing approximately 40mph capability with light loads, and the small motorbox gives you a lot of room inside for a 20' hull. Some of these boats can go up to 650 miles per hour with the right engine. A real lady pleaser, gentleman, a real lady pleaser."

I rolled my eyes as Jessica and Lauren swooned and made goo-goo eyes at Mike and Tyler. Whoever heard of going to a boat show for a field trip? Is that all Forks is known for? Rain, beaches and the supernatural? Oh, Bella. The supernatural does exist in Forks, doesn't it?

I fingered a white boat, not caring to glance at the name. Angela gave me a small nod, knowing that I wanted to be alone. She grabbed Ben by the arm and pulled him along, leaving me to my thoughts. Dangerous times, Bella. Dangerous times. I exhaled heavily.

"What's the Swan got to be all huffy about today?" a voice called behind me.

I turned and did nothing but stare back. "Oh jeez, not you again."

*A/N: Sorry to leave you hanging before the New Year; I did not do it on purpose. Thanks again for all those who have reviewed, alerted, etc. thus far that I have not had a chance to thank personally yet. Have a great & Happy New Year and I'll be posting again within the first week I get back. Thanks a bunch, guys!